As my seventh year (3rd fire performing), i was totally thrown for a loop.
could have been the burn i sustained the second day i was there that kept me in check all week long.
could have been the dust, storms, wind, glaring sun, more dust, blowing dust and oh, yeah, some dust..
could have been the immense amount of 'work' we did compared to years prior where I had no real responsibility other than to show up for check in/laminates and burn night.
could have been the largeness of the place and logistical challenges of just getting around.

felt like I spent far too much time hanging out at camp, laying low and resting. Not enough time sleeping.

felt like I had 2 burns this year - the first part of the week: partying and avoiding the growing pain; the second part of the week: succumbing to the pain and mental weariness that I essentially brought upon myself. no one to blame but myself. all me.

i got out one day on my bike and we rode around, out to the Temple, to the 10 o'clock side and the Deep End (and this, its last year. i saw no hoopers, only a thick swarm of partiers who seemed more like city rave-goers and gawkers than burners), and along the Esplanade, until I wore myself out. saw little to no in-city art or camps. didn't even find my old neighbor-friends like I usually do.

First year I didn't step foot into Center Camp.

First year I didn't care to climb the Man's pedestal/base.

First year I even asked "what time is it" more than once.

First year I was glad, not sad, to leave the playa.

SO interesting that I will forever bear physical scars from a burn that I felt VERY deeply disconnected with.

still working on it. not ALL was negative. These are merely the initial observations of those things that stand glaringly apart from the "usual" experience I have on the playa. Maybe I was expecting something and this was my gift.

I will soon post a list of my playa blessings from this year, for there are many. Just so far, I am adjusting to the above.