Male

' Ever wonder what potentially amazing people are being ruled out when
you take whatever tack you do in cooking up a self-summary?

Rather than rattle off a bunch of adjectives and let your imagination
take you in one of many plausible directions, I'll try to give you a
little more to go on. (Note: It's a silly online survey I once
completed.)


===Best (or worst) lie I've ever told===

Call me naive, or even boring, but I let honesty be the one to keep me
out of--and drag me into--trouble. I'd rather dig a hole than weave a
web.

===Describe the type of person you might be interested in meeting
(either romantically or platonically). What traits do you find
attractive?===

You can think for yourself.

You want to teach me.

I like people who've shed much of what I consider the excess nonsense
that's been socialized into us. If I want to order water at a bar,
please don't behave as if I'm acting in breach of some sacred
covenant. If you want to clip your toenails on my rug, fear not; one
of us'll vacuum.

You know people are more than the categories under which they fit.

Perhaps you didn't swoon upon catching sight (and, yes, I know you've
already taken a peek down below) of me and, though I dance like no one
is watching (often making the converse true [sheepish grin]), you won't be
asking me for lessons. Of course, you'll enjoy my company too much to care.

You have an insatiable hunger for life and the energy with which to
satisfy it. Yeah, I know that's cliche, but it's important for you to
be able to handle long discussions, brisk walks, and tough-to-chew
organic gum--all at once.

You also care about the world and want to do your part to make it a
better place, but you're far more eloquent than I am at 4:15 AM. You
trust me. I trust you.

Also, indulge me a second. Because this post is so long, I find
that a great number of people are bound to find *something* that
resonates with them. That's not the goal. I don't post this to simply
attract as many responses as I can, but more to put myself out there so
that a special anonymous someone has a better idea as to who I am.

Frankly, if you find a lot of things weird and like to live in a very
comfortable/secure/UGGs-y world, I'm probably not for you.

(That's not to say I have a problem with pragmatism, nor do I care about
whether someone owns UGGs, as, hell, I bet they keep one's feet warm;
I do, however, have a problem with trendiess and ubercapitalism.)

If you're often characterized as "gullible" or've been told you take yourself
too seriously, you might have a problem dealing with my sense of humor.
I tease like it's nobody's business and relish being on the receiving end.

You can keep a secret.

You can tell me yours.

===What personal habits of others really irritate you?===

I like dynamic people who have things to say, but not those who just
dominate conversations while saying nothing interesting. A fair and
stimulating exchange is not just ideal, but fairly necessary. That
said, as you might've noticed from this email, I do have a lot to say;
please come so armed. I haven't read ahead and don't know whether this
belongs here, but I don't want it to slip my mind; I'm not big on
pretension.

Also, please note that I find "flakiness" really difficult to
swallow. Call me crazy, but, all my life, I've had the idea that,
when I call someone and leave a message, s/he'll respond within a
reasonable timeframe. I've also thought that, if someone has gone out
of her/his way to give me a phone number, he or she plans on answering
the phone and following through with whatever plans were made, etc.
There's a fine, but very, very solid line between "spontaneous" and
"capricious," and it has everything to do with responsibility and
respect for others and their time/feelings. If you don't understand this,
please, by all means, click the "back" button now. I hate to be so
harsh, but I don't want to reach the moment in my life where I'm
thoroughly inculcated with the sense that people should be expected to be
so mercurial that they can never be counted upon (let alone with the sense
that I should act in kind because I can't). I'm supremely spontaneous and
adventurous, but I value social responsibility/accountability very highly.

I also don't speak "first datese." I'm not going to tell anyone I'm
going to try to be friends with her if I'm, in fact, not. I also won't
tell anyone that I'm going to call, if, again, I'm, in fact, not. I
expect the same in return.

How are these principles lost on so many people? I pride myself on
being especially frank and having "real" interactions with people
whenever I find them capable. I'm very much looking for more people
who're capable.

===Describe your personality and physique.===

' Can't say that my artistic sensibilities, among many other things, are
decidedly "18 to 35 heterosexual male," in case you can't stomach a guy
wanting to see "Angels in America" or "Bad Education" before "The
Negotiator" or some Tarantino film.

' Suppose now's the time to mention that I don't believe in traditional
gender norms. No, "the man" on a heterosexual date or marriage isn't
the designated breadwinner, and he isn't necessarily "supposed" to
pay for dinner. I don't want to be with someone whose behavior
and feelings're governed by the values with which she was raised,
but someone who's developed her sense of "values" through an ongoing
process of self-reflection.

I guess this is where you get a glimpse of the frustration that's welling
up inside me. You may've seen my post on here dozens of times and
wondered how I could possibly still be posting. I'm simply a person
who's extremely open to the world and its possibilities, and that
openness manifests itself in my willingness to meet strangers
about whom I may know very little and in my going on meandering walks
with them and hearing their stories, etc. I like that part of using
Craig's List, and I don't put people in boxes and tie them up with the
ribbon of my preconceptions and expectations. I let people walk into the
living room of my life and make themselves comfortable on the couch if
they're so moved and I decide whether I want their bodies to leave
impressions on my couch, etc.

The part I like less is the one where I run into people whose perspectives
on the world are diametrically opposed to mine. Sure, to a point and in a
very specific way, it's been fun meeting the women who've taken me, on
lunch dates no less, to the Louis Vuitton store to buy their grandmothers
$206 credit card holders. (I'll admit I didn't even know what a credit
card holder looked like before that splendid afternoon.) I really do
appreciate the learning experiences.

Ultimately, though, there're certain elements I don't need in my life and
don't even appreciate for their novelty, much as I'm one for novelty.
So, yeah, if you're expecting a guy in "Banana" (or BR, for those really in
the know) and a popped collar, you're probably not going to dig me and my
tres utilitarian wardrobe. That said, worry not: I'm not above donning
the collared
shirt when we dabble in a little Merengue or Bhangra.

===What is your insight into spirituality, and how do you practice
this belief?===

I'm agnostic because I don't have a reason to adopt one religion over
another and because I'm confident in two things:

A) I will not be punished by a supreme deity (at least not one I'd
hope would rule over me, so there may be a hint of optimism there)
just because I don't believe in it.

B) Humans are never really going to know what's out (up? down?
inside?) there, so why even try? No matter how far we go, there will
never be a definite reason to espouse one theology over another.

===How would you characterize your political leanings? (i.e. Democrat,
Republican, Reform, Libertarian, Independent, radically left/right,
don't care).===

I'm liberal on both social and economic fronts. I believe structural
problems contribute substantially to the inequities around us. I'm
also uncomfortable around and intolerant of anyone who is intolerant
of certain people for reasons I consider unjustified. Sure, it's a
value judgment. So?

===What language(s) do you speak, read or write?===

I speak, read, and write English and Spanish. My family's from Cuba,
so I grew up speaking primarily Spanish at home (and, being from
Miami, everywhere else).

===If you could 'Do Lunch' with anyone, who would it be?===

(These questions so rarely offer insight into anyone's character
because they expect only one answer that results in a disproportionate
clump of assumptions about the person answering. But, hey, you may know
something I don't about these, so I'll answer with the first solid
choice that comes to mind.)

Karl Marx.

I'm curious to know what he thinks of his idea now that humans've put it
to a little practice. I suspect that something that's made us as strong
as we are physically has kept us from sharing resources so as to
achieve something closer to our ideal state. Evolution.

That said, I think capitalism's run amok in certain parts of the world
and find hyperconsumerism disgusting, particularly when I see it in
myself.

[repeats to himself] (I don't want a Powerbook. I already have a
computer. I don't want a Powerbook. I already have a computer. I
don't want a Powerbook. I already have a computer.)

Stay tuned.

===If you were to meet someone for the first time, what would be the
"perfect" setting?===

Face-to-face.

===What type of music do you enjoy?===

I'm into many different types of music.

Let me rephrase: I like a lot of different songs from different
genres. I don't like songs just because they belong to one, nor do I
stay away from certain ones because they fall under others.

Wow, let me speak English now.

I'm turned off by the pretension that often surrounds music. Many
genres develop cultures that often seem to be more important than the
music itself, and those whose personalities aren't en vogue are too
often cast off as carpetbaggers and leeches. Essentially, I'm a
staunch "anti-scenester." [jumps off his soapbox]


===List some of your favorite lines from movies, poems, songs or commercials.===

I used to collect quotes ('til I lost a list that took five years to compile,
an event from which I've yet to fully recover), so I guess the problem is
narrowing them down to a few, a task to which I'm not willing to devote much
time merely for the sake of this survey.

"I don't know if we have rights before we're born, but I do know that
being 'born again' does not entitle you to twice as many." --someone on
SNL (80s)

"Women can't complain anymore about men until they start showing
better taste in them." --Bill Maher


===Where do/did you attend high school and/or college? What are/were
your favorite subjects in school?===

I walked ten blocks to Hialeah High in Greater Miami every morning for
three years. Then, off to college it was. One year here. Another half
there.

Ithaca was cold, and that was the best part.

..though I do want to experience it again, in a much different way.

This City's been kind enough. [shrugs]

===Where were you born? What is your ethnic origin or ancestry? List
some of the places you have lived or traveled.===

I think I've covered all ' this, but, in case you skip about the
questions as I often do, here's the abridged version (with special DVD
features):

Miami-born Cuban-American
lived in Hialeah (a Cuban enclave adjacent to Miami) 'til college
Ithaca for college
back to Miami for a year
New York City (where I now work year-round)

I'm very flexible about where to live in the future.
I plan on doing a lot more travelling in my lifetime, and I guess
that's part of the reason you're reading this. I want you, stranger,
to come with me. Oh, right. Chances are you're not reading this, at
least not at any particular moment.

Oh, right, and I'm probably moving to San Francisco this summer.

===What type of work do (did) you do? How long have you been (were
you) in that line of work? Do (did) you enjoy it?===

I'm a nanny (or, as my boss very gingerly refers to me,
"household manager") for a family on the Upper West Side of New York,
caring for an eleven-year-old. His autistic brother was here with us until
he started a post-secondary boarding program in January. We have a
Prozac-dependent dog. The kids are remarkable, but, if you get to
know me, you'll hear plenty about them soon and often enough.

In high school, I dealt collectibles over the Web in order to generate
some extra spending money.

As far as what I'll eventually be "doing with my life," I'm still
considering a few options. I might work for a non-profit or NGO. I'm
thinking about journalism. I like sports, but, more broadly, I appreciate
life's narrative. I'd love to do what John Stossel does on 20/20
(with a moral/political compass calibrated a little further left than
his). I also enjoy the work of Bob Ley on ESPN, Bill Simmons and the late
Ralph Wiley on ESPN.com, and Bill Maher, though I don't mean to call him a
journalist. I've, in the past entertained aspirations of becoming a screenwriter or
librettist, but I think I'm more interested in and more able to contribute to
community or economic development more directly. I'm really just exploring
right now, sans college degree that's still at least a couple of years away.

' Any ideas?


===If you could pick one super-human power (such as those of
comic-book characters), what would you choose?===


It's 4:50. I'll let you know when the day I can do that comes. (See my
preface to my "With whom would you do lunch?" answer.)

I want to work for the aggregate betterment and happiness of posterity
and, rather selfishly, for the happiness of the people I care about.
At the same time, I want to develop as fully as possible as a human
being and experience a great deal. I can't really say what that means
practically right now, but I can say that I don't expect to change the
world with my bare hands and an emergency chisel. I'm only a part of
what's going on, but I aspire to be a productive one. I also want to
meet a woman with whom to share my life.


===Any additional comments? Is there anything that the questionnaire
didn't cover?===

I'm 25. ..and I'll save you the "but my friends say I'm so mature"
boilerplate. I'm also not the easiest person to understand at first
(or sometimes even throughout, I guess), and the kind of life I want
to live isn't for everyone.

Also, I'm really in the business of being a real, living, breathing
person. I'm not looking for people who are afraid of phone calls, of
face-to-face meetings with strangers, of a little trespassing, of being
awake the moment when the clock strikes 2 a.m., of being photographed,
nor of dancing like no one is watching. I'm not insane. I am, however,
daring and soaked in moxie, and I'm not into hand-holding (though I refer
only to the metaphorical variety). Oh, right, and I'm a bit of a nudist.

In that vein and unfortunately, I think sending a picture might be a good
idea. Mhmm, I know what you're thinking; I'm indeed the one who's all about
breaking with tradition and unlearning the lessons we've learned through
our evolution as a species and trying to work toward a just reality, but I
can't get past this need to be very physically attracted to the person with whom
I ultimately build a life. It's shameful, yes, but I won't be happy unless
I am. ' Best to send a picture with an intial response. Although I don't
find pictures definitive (nor should you necessarily find mine to be),
they give one something on which to go.

You might also want to know that I value loyalty, emotional expression,
humor, freedom from irrational inhibition, and generosity. Of course,
you don't care about any of that. You care about the fact that I can
recite the fifty States in alphabetical order and perform complex
arithmetic calculations in my head for quarters. You also appreciate
bully toes, protein bars, belly-button lint, people-watching, and
sidewalk arias.

With all due respect to Garrison Keillor, I suppose if you were
going to know one thing about me, I'd want it to be that I'm not the
kind of person who aspires to friendships where, after hanging out,
one or the other person feels the need to say, "Keep in touch."