My Blog

The 10 Commandments of a booty call.

Anthony — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 19:29:13 GMT

This is off of Online Booty Call. I. Thou shalt get out before the sun rises. II. Thou shouldest never ask "can we see each other from now on?" III. Thou shalt refrain from referring to our activities as "love making." IV. Thou shalt not request advanced plans. V. Thou shalt kiss anything except my mouth. VI. Thou shalt scream my name often. VII. If someone cometh over whilst thou art here, thou art my cousin from out of town. VIII. Thou shalt not ask me to walk thee to thy car. Don't thou knoweth what it looketh like? IX. There shall be no "pillow talk." X. There shall be no cuddling.

How many people are needed to change a light bulb in the Bush White House

Anthony — Wed, 25 Oct 2006 19:04:22 GMT

Question: How many members of the Bush Administration are needed to change a light bulb? Answer: TEN. 1. One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed, 2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed, 3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb, 4. One to tell the nations of the world that they are either for changing the light bulb or for eternal darkness, 5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Halliburton for a new light bulb, 6. One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing on a step ladder under the banner "Bulb Accomplished". 7. One administration insider to resign and in detail reveal how Bush was literally "in the dark" the whole time, 8. One to viciously smear #7, 9. One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has had a strong light bulb-changing policy all along, 10. And finally, one to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country. And after all is said and done, no one will notice that they never actually managed to change the light bulb."

The Bush Resume

Anthony — Wed, 06 Sep 2006 18:45:56 GMT

RESUME GEORGE W. BUSH 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington , DC 20520 EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE LAW ENFORCEMENT I was arrested in Kennebunkport , Maine , in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available. MILITARY I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam COLLEGE I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader. PAST WORK EXPERIENCE I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career in the oil business in Midland , Texas , in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas . The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock. I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry, including Enron CEO Ken Lay, I was elected governor of Texas . ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union . During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America . I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money. I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history. With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida , and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over 500,000 votes. ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record. I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week. I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury. I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history. I set an economic record for most private bankruptc ies filed in any 12-month period. I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period. I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market. In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month. I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, had a Chevron oil tanker named after her. I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President. I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations. My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History, Enron. My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision. I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip- offs in history. &nb sp; I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed. I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history. I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts. I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any President in U.S. history. I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States government. I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history. I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission. I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law. I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S . "prisoners of war" detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention. I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election). I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President since the advent of television. I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history. &n bsp;I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S.after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history. I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of mankind. I am the first President in U.S.history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world community. I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families-in-wartime. In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends. I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security. I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD. I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden [sic] to justice. RECORDS AND REFERENCES All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view. All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view. All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for publi c review. I am a member of the Republican Party. PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN THE 2006 MIDTERM ELECTIONS. PLEASE SEND THIS TO EVERY VOTER YOU KNOW.

What google is thinking?

Anthony — Tue, 29 Aug 2006 17:42:47 GMT

Most of you have seen this one but maybe not all. Was this a mistake on googles part? I think not!!! Hahahahahaha... 1- Go to www.Google.com 2- Type in Failure 3- Look at it the first listing and laugh at what comes up first 4- Tell other people before the people at Google Fix it

Brokeback Square Pants

Anthony — Wed, 10 May 2006 00:48:16 GMT

I don't know if anyone else have seen it before. But my favorite Brokeback Mountain spoof is regarding Spounge Bob Square Pants and Patrick. Like I said before, if you have trouble with this link, let me know...Thanks http://gorillamask.net/spongeback.shtml

Bush Roasted at Press Confrence

Anthony — Tue, 02 May 2006 17:01:09 GMT

Did anyone see the Associate Press Confrence where Stephen Colbert just pasted George W. Bush in public? If you want to see it, the links below. Now I've never been too sucessful with the html stuff so if it doesn't give you a link, let me know. But it is worth watching. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJvar7BKwvQ&search=Colbert%20CSPAN%20roast%20colbert%20cspan%20AP%20ap That's it for now

So far this year

Anthony — Sun, 16 Apr 2006 19:54:36 GMT

Nothing really to report except I've finished the last week of school for my apprenticeship program. Things are starting to pick up for my screen play. With all the rain I've been catching up on all the movies that I wanted to see last year and eariler this year but just didn't have the time or the drive to go and see. It also seems that ever person I've dated in the past few years has called me in the past month or I've ran in to them. Go figure. Trust me they are not calling just to see how I'm doing. That's it for now.