It's been almost two weeks since returning from SMS... seems like forever. I slipped right into the muggle world, however it's different this time. It hasn't crowded in on me this time, no heaviness in my heart that has always accompanied leaving the mountain. There was a new feeling this year. A lightness and joy that started early on in the gathering, and has become a welcome and exciting part of my being.

This was my first year that I was single, so it was, in many ways, a first time. Not to minimize my past experiences, but what I learned this year has changed my perspective on myself and how I process feelings and so on. Previously, my challenges seem to be orientated with my environment and interactions with others. This year has been very intimate and personal. I had gone into Spring gathering with some minor expectations... mostly dealing with having sex... but I was soon to discover that sex wasn't what I was really interested in. I had a few good sexual experiences in the first couple of days, and although enjoyable, it was a reminder of the type of connections that I'm truly interested.

A few days into my stay, I began to spend some time alone. Thinking about what kind of experience I wanted to create for Beltane this year. And easily enough I realized that it was love and honest connections with other Faeries. And even though it should have been no surprise, that exactly what my Beltane experience became. I learned about the nature of love as I feel it.

I learned to fall in love in a moment, experience the connection, and then let it be just what it is. Previously, I tried to 'manufacture' these moments without the understanding of being in the moment. I also learned that it isn't as important that both of feel the same, but to enjoy the moment of bliss as I feel it. Oddly enough, it wasn't nearly as difficult to make the transition. Fantastically, I believe that it was mutual on most occasions. I fell in love with several Faeries, and they are now a part of my experience of love... a positive and blissful experience.

This is a part of what being a Faerie means to me. To feel and communicate love at all levels of my being. I look forward to a future of love, connection, and bliss.

Love, Light, and Health to all.