Existing yet Maintaining :)

On a more seriously fucking sobering note....me and my family need all the energy you can spare

   Mon, December 31, 2007 - 10:43 PM
Just came in from fireworks, which were incredible, to find an email from my dad in my mailbox. lt's mid-morning there, and was hoping to hear from him on the New Year, also in large part because there is rioting in Kenya over the latest elections, and l wanted to know if he was alright.
Here is his response.

"Yes, things are very tense and unsettled here. Lots of rioting, roughly 125 dead, but almost all of it is in the downtown areas of cities and the slum areas (mostly Nairobi, Kisumu, and Mombasa). Kibaki literally stole the election from Raila Odinga (rigging, very obvious rigging) and people are really pissed. Odinga has called on his supporters to do a peaceful protest rally on Thursday, 3rd, and says he expects a million people to show up. He might be right. I suspect the unrest is going to continue until one way or another Kibaki is forced to step down. I just don't see people giving in to his theft of the election. So we might be in for several months of unrest. Hopefully it won't take that long, but who knows?

Meanwhile it's bad. Angelina, my house help, had her house in Kawangware burned down and lost everything but one bed and a few clothes. Fanice, Cathy's <dad's ex> house help, also had her house in Kawangware burned down. Josephine almost had her's burned too but the police showed up just in time and prevented it happening. But she was really scared. In the midst of it, she sent me a text saying houses were burning and her's would probably be burned and she didn't know if they would survive. When I finally managed to get through to her on the phone, she said the police had arrived just in time and they were all OK (Angelina and Fanice too). I finally decided to go out today (without Aidan <that's my little brother>) to try to help Victor find food for him and Vincent and to try to find some phone scratch cards so Josephine would have some credit to be able to call if she needed help (or if Angelina or Fanice did). Everything was shut down tight. At Yaya <the local mall>, the guards there weren't even letting people into the parking areas. On Ngong Road near the Nakumatt closest to Yaya, there were smoking embers of a burned barricade in the middle of the road and a couple of military men standing by. I finally left Victor at Adams Arcade and he managed to find some food and, later, some phone cards. But people are really worried. They know people won't let Kibaki stay but don't know what the country is going to have to go through in order to get him out. And unfortunately it's turned into a tribal thing and a lot of the fighting, attacking, and burning of houses and businesses is Kikuyus (Kibaki) attacking Luos (Odinga) or vice versa. It's the most open and virulent tribal strife since Kenya got independence, and that obviously also has people worried. There's a real chance it could turn into open warfare, especially in the western areas, but hopefully it won't come to that. But it could leave wounds that make tribalism a major issue for years to come and that would really be a tragedy."

As you can tell, not only is the place l consider my homeland falling apart, the two men l love most (and some of my dearest childhood friends) are smack in the middle of it, and before it's even gotten to the REALLY ugly part, they're already having trouble finding food. For those of you who ever wondered what real anarchy might be like, or who are anarchists yourselves but have yet to really experience it, here you go. Nairobi has the highest urban population in East Africa, with an estimated population of between 3 and 4 million (according to the 1999 Census, 2,143,254 inhabitants in the administrative area of Nairobi lived within 684 square kilometers). This could literally halt the economy, and force a significant percentage of that very large population into starvation pretty much overnight. Imagine what kind of chaos that creates. And what happens if an initially peaceful protest of a MILLION people goes awry? l was literally and physically right in the very middle of the riots that followed the death of Robert Ouko at twelve or fourteen, and THAT mob was probably only a couple of hundred people, but l can tell you l've never been so scared in my life. Maybe THIS is what the American people are afraid of when it comes to rebelling against a president for whom they did not vote. l can't say l really blame them at this very moment.

Meanwhile, my father is risking his life to feed his son with food that seems to be fast running scarce.

On top of all this, l was informed that my dad's ex said she was buying a house in Sydney and may try and take my brother back to Sydney with her, in which case he and l may never see him again. Her contract in Nairobi isn't up for two years - and the divorce isn't even final - but there's nothing stopping her from booking a ticket and flying my brother out on one of the nights or weekends that he's at her place. The chances of that happening just increased 20-50% now that the city is so unsafe.

My New Year has suddenly become far more than a bad sunburn and a day at the beach. Now l have this: www.cnn.com/video/#/vide...tion.wrap.itn

Terrified Ali



18 Comments

add a comment
Mon, December 31, 2007 - 11:08 PM
Good Lord! I can only imagine how frightening that scene must be. I hope it settles down. You're very right about anarchy--abstract political theorizing is one thing but reality can be very different altogether, and we should be careful what we wish for! We have our problems here, but it's all relative--we're really very lucky, when you remember that shocking numbers of less-fortunate people on this globe are living in conditions where it's actually *expected* that political unrest will lead to people's homes being burned down. And that isn't even the worst of it, obviously. I hope your family and their friends are gonna be alright. I hope your little brother isn't too scared, either. Goddamn, he should only have to be happy!
Mon, December 31, 2007 - 11:23 PM
"Good lord! I hope it settles down."

l know Kenya, and some of you have read about my thoughts a few months back on the increasing tribalism. This doesn't sound anything like the Kenya l know. lt sounds like the Kenya l know FED THE FUCK UP and there's no telling if, how, or when this *will* settle down. They've all just dealt with too much shit.

"We have our problems here, but it's all relative--we're really very lucky, when you remember that shocking numbers of less-fortunate people on this globe are living in conditions where it's actually *expected* that political unrest will lead to people's homes being burned down."

lndeed. Kawangware is the slum l used to live in. lt may be poor, but it was where l spent my first two years, and it's still home to me. There are probably 600,000 living in what is a very small area, maybe 20 square miles at the most. Given the materials and state of the homes there, if they really wanted to burn it down, it'd be gone in two days.

"And that isn't even the worst of it, obviously. I hope your family and their friends are gonna be alright. I hope your little brother isn't too scared, either. Goddamn, he should only have to be happy!"

Thanks so much, and l agree. At this point in time I'm glad he's mentally handicapped and doesn't have the capacity to understand what IS going on enough to be scared about it. l'm not entirely sure how my own emotional state will be, however.
Mon, December 31, 2007 - 11:30 PM
www.nytimes.com/2007/12/31...1kenya.html
Mon, December 31, 2007 - 11:42 PM
wow ali, I don't even know what to say.
I'm sending my love to you and your family,
keep us posted, ok?
Mon, December 31, 2007 - 11:49 PM
www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/a...l#cnnSTCVideo
Mon, December 31, 2007 - 11:51 PM
Thank you, Deia
l deeply appreciate it.

lt's ironic that the Kenya l love is never quite the one everyone else sees. l think the second video l posted showed certain moments of compassion within it all, and l hope that stands out. l'm certainly relying on that compassion and character to win over the violence.
Tue, January 1, 2008 - 12:05 AM
and here so many of us are caught up in thinking about ourselves and new years and beginnings with hope. it's a much different kind of hope going on over there. for safety, for life. not just pulling yourself up and putting on a brave face or weight loss, but for things most innocent people can't predict or prevent. here's to the helpless and hapless.
Tue, January 1, 2008 - 1:51 AM
Oh Ali..... I'm so sorry, this is happening, for you, yr family & loved ones, the people of Kenya... the world. My prayers are w/ you all, girl. I can't imagine what this must be like for you...
This is why I may be an anarchist at heart... but am a social democrat given the realities of this stage of human development, & the amount of people on the planet... I agree there is no romance in this kind of tragic chaos.
I hope yr family, & Kenya, can work out their differences very soon...
Tue, January 1, 2008 - 4:14 AM
Damn.
I can only hope for the best for your family, and the people of Kenya. It's good to know that at least your father is still able to send communications out. The BBC is still a good source of information: news.bbc.co.uk

Please forgive a small comment somewhat tangential to your personal stake in this. As frightening and dispiriting as the situation is to anyone who's aware of it, even people of good will have a tendency to regard it as something to be expected of African society. It's important to bear in mind that it has happened in European society, too -- Serbia, Bosnia, Croatia, Kosovo all stand as reminders that "tribalism" is not as remote as we might like to think. The US had its own stolen election, could well have more, and there are significant dangers that the demagogic forces at work exploiting the divisions in our society could unleash forces far beyond anyone's control.
Tue, January 1, 2008 - 8:57 AM
Wow. I guess what I have to say is - stay strong with yourself and do what you need to do to take care of yourself. Because right now that sounds like about the only thing you can do. My thoughts are with you.
Tue, January 1, 2008 - 7:41 PM
Wow. This is incredibly sad and frightening. Sending all the love and positivity I can summon your way.
Wed, January 2, 2008 - 7:34 PM
To all, thank you for your thoughts and energy. l'm in a pretty unfamiliar place right now, and it's all l can do to not think the worst.

Kim...l'd like to respond to your post. Forgive my subjectivity and terse manner.

"Thank you for reminding me to check BBC.

"Please forgive a small comment somewhat tangential to your personal stake in this. As frightening and dispiriting as the situation is to anyone who's aware of it, even people of good will have a tendency to regard it as something to be expected of African society. It's important to bear in mind that it has happened in European society, too -- Serbia, Bosnia, Croatia, Kosovo all stand as reminders that "tribalism" is not as remote as we might like to think."

l don't believe that's true. There's been plenty of evidence for anyone with a radio, a tv, a computer, or a newspaper to determine that tribalism happens worldwide. The discussion here doesn't show any less sympathy for global conflict. We're simply not talking about the world as a whole right now. We're talking about Kenya.

"The US had its own stolen election, could well have more, and there are significant dangers that the demagogic forces at work exploiting the divisions in our society could unleash forces far beyond anyone's control."

That seems to be stating the obvious.

Forgive me if l'm not super eager to discuss the politics of what is essentially a life or death situation involving two members of my immediate family, not to mention a number of my childhood friends, who might as well be family, AFAIC. l don't get super emotional very often on Tribe, so people know when it happens that there's something serious going on. l think it's fairly clear here that l am needing people to tell me it's going to be alright, and that they are thinking of me, not discuss the finer points of global tribalism that we've failed to discuss to your satisfaction in what is finally a very difficult and painful place in my life. At this point l'm just trying to look normal. l've spent the last two days pretty much just trying to not to completely lose it and praying to every god l've ever and never believed in that l don't need to start preparing myself for any potential goodbyes. This will not be alleviated until l know how the protest tomorrow plays out. Everything depends on that, and there's no telling how it will go, but if it goes badly, there's no telling what will happen. Or whose houses or cars will be looted or destroyed. Or how many people trying desperately to get out will never make it. l'm a strong woman, with a healthy optimism that generally carries me through the most challenging of circumstances. This is something l am completely unprepared for - l am lost, and while optimism is always going to be what gets me through this and much more, l find it harder to call upon than it's ever been in my life. lf you have any tips on how to function when you have no idea whether or not your family might live or die, or have the means to escape death and the country safely if the situation worsens, please feel free to pass them on. My fear is no more or less real or valid than anyone else with a loved one in a dangerous combat zone, and l'm not likely to breathe or function entirely properly until l know they are out of it.

For someone who should understand what it's like to be a woman, you lack a certain nurturing sympathy that is usually part of being one.
Wed, January 2, 2008 - 7:45 PM
Angel....
Thank you. l need to be reminded that life goes on and that l need to remember to take care of myself. l'm prone to forget such vital reminders when this distracted. Big hugs and much gratitude.
Wed, January 2, 2008 - 8:56 PM
Thank you for your response, Ali. I'm sorry my comment was upsetting.
As I said previously: I'm hoping for the best for your family and the people of Kenya.
Wed, January 2, 2008 - 9:38 PM
l'm sorry that l can't take your valid comment to heart and discuss it in depth right now. l'm just really needing reassurance at the moment. Thank you for providing that.
Thu, January 3, 2008 - 9:58 AM
l've moved this to my tribe Operationsideshowali, since there will be updates and other discussion happening. lf you can't get in, just send me an invite and l'll let you in. Thanks for all your support. lt means more than you all know.

tribes.tribe.net/operation...860cedb0be
Wed, January 9, 2008 - 6:34 PM
Ali,
My thoughts are with you. I was in Nairobi about 10 years ago and it was undoubtly one of the most frightening places I've been and food was already scarce THEN. I can't imagine what your family is going through.
If there is any way you can think of that we can send some supplies to your family, please let me know. Someone somewhere must know of someone going that way and maybe we can send some food with them.
Thu, January 10, 2008 - 5:22 PM
What's crazy about this is that Nairobi has never frightened me. This time is a first.

Unfortunately, sending food is no good. Everything gets rifled through at the mail centers, and if there's anything worth taking, it usually disappears. l have a way to send stuff through CARE should l need to, since my parents have both worked with them, but Dad says things are getting back to normal. He's been able to go to the bank and grocery store, but has stocked up on food anyway to be safe. For now, all is well, and hopefully, Nairobi will return to the non-scary place it used to be.