THIS ISN'T FOR, OR ABOUT, MY HUSBAND... he is my best friend and if I had this to say to Steve, I would have told him, not written here... sorry for the confusion... this was written to a friend, and I thought it a moment of clarity... one where I channel something beyond my own wisdom... so I shared.

Frustration is one thing... judgement is another. It seems as though you are projecting onto her. You can't yet see yourself as the person in the relationship who isn't giving enough... the truth is you give, but it is for your own needs, for your own desire, your personal gain. It is not until you love her without want of personal gain, without the need for her to pleasure you... only then will you truly be loving her and cease being in the phase of demanding love... a phase that many psychologists, monks, and more have writ of for centuries. Currently you see her as not providing an equitable amount of love, that she isn't returning what you give, and this is childish... are you a fire sign by chance? What you haven't yet learned is the love of a woman who isn't your mother... you are expecting her to be your mother... in a crude twisted analysis of the much more complex situation. What it seems that you have yet to learn is the type of love that loves without want of return... a love that does not "keep score". You yourself have written that she has asked for you to accept her for what she is and for what she gives. This is possibly all that she has to give at this moment. Regardless of that... you are the one obsessing, driving to her home and waiting hours on a porch reading love therapy books... it is all to prove to yourself that you are the noble one, the valiant one, the one who gives and is working so hard.... it is all narcissistic. You must break this cycle and re-learn what love is... desire, passion, lust, and so much more yes, but love... not yet. Love blossoms, and you my friend are demanding that the rose bud, but have not provided the proper soil to progogate the seed. She is right in asking you to be accepting of who she is NOW, and what she gives NOW... being in the moment with her, without judgement, or your "baby" nature crying out to be fed.

Enough said,