Im sitting here reading Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.

and the heater is blowing warm air under my chair. Since it is a cloth chair its oddly working like the heated seats in my car.



sometimes very simple things make me happy.



Other times very complicated things do.

Sometimes just something like a file that says help. when i need help.

That makes me happy. because its not so complicated when your in the middle of the situation just when you stop to explain.

both ways. Im just glad that by what ever name i have that.



Im not saying i wont always want more.

my nature to want more of what makes me happy.

Wake up call

Caught you in the morning with another one in my bed

Don't you care about me anymore?

Don’t you care about me? I don't think so.

Six foot tall

Came without a warning so I had to shoot him dead

He won't come around here anymore

Come around here?

I don’t feel so bad, I don’t feel so bad, I don’t feel so bad





I'm so sorry darling

Did I do the wrong thing?

Oh, what was I thinking?

Is his heart still beating?

There are two ways i can think of this.

After talking about it for some time.



balance is the board or it is the anvil.



if it is the board. it is impossible

If you loved someone you would have to hate someone equaly

if you wanted to save someone. you would have to kill someone.



if its the anvil that it balances on.

then you would never feel anything.

dead center of those extreams are nothing.



so is all of the worlds goal to feel nothing?



likely im only worrying about it because its easier then thinking about the things that bother me.

its a lie.

I don't know anyone who is.

I see a lot of people who think they are. but they are not.



I tried seeking it. but it made me feel wrong in everything.

what does that mean anyway?

balanced.

There is something comforting about taking off my glasses sometimes.

the wold mushes and i cant see the details further way from my out streached arm.

lights twinkle and people fade into odd figures that move around you when you walk threw them.

They dont talk and you dont respond.

comforting not to know the details sometimes.



And diamonds in the cases sparkle so much more. with my glasses on i see the small inclusions hidden inside. the parts that formed them. made them what they are. years of coming to that point.

they dont hurt the dimond. and each person see's something diffrent with in.



Im finding wearing my glasses bad for my heart.

Im finding asking question, wanting the truth very bad for it.



people's truths sometimes dont match yours.