My Blog

love note to self

amaezing — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 06:00:53 GMT

dear universe: your message is not lost on me. falling into the dark well once again has given me time in my aloneness to connect the dots together. finally i am able to see it clearly, to word it simply. every relationship i have ever been in, the outcome has essentially be the same. each time my love has left me, it was with different words and actions but with this same sincere message: "i love you, you are amazing, i will always love you. i am a better person for having known you...i hope that you find everything you are looking for... *BUT I CAN'T GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT.*" and each and every time, it was because i was asking for something that NO ONE ELSE can EVER give me!! the wholeness, completion, and perfection that can ONLY come from self love. thank you! thank you, lovers, for telling me this! thank you for LEAVING me! thank you climbing out of my desolate well and leaving me with your well wishes! oh, sweet divine! now i do see! aha-so simple: yet requries the true warrior's path to embark upon it fully: self love. this is the journey we are all on! so as we can only face this task alone, we are never alone *in* it. sweet universe, your message is not lost on me. my work is laid before me, my task a simple one, yet lifetimes will never resolve. yes, you heard me right: this problem can NEVER really be truly solved as humans- or we would have no reason to continue this journey! we were born in the illusion of seperation so we could dance with oneness, endlessly turning away from it only to whirl back into it's arms again and again and again- but never stopping this movement, never fully embracing it AND holding onto the body at the same time (for very long, anyways!!) a dear sister drew three cards with an open heart the other day for past, present and future. they were: guilt, suppression, and fighting. though this reading would seem filled with darkness, she was immediately filled with a sense of wonder and gratitude: for she felt relieved and BLESSED to know that IT WILL NEVER BE OVER! for this is the journey of being human! this is the work, this is the joy! there will always be wounds to heal, misunderstandings to work through, and battles to fight. ALL WAYS. even in the rare case that you reach enlightenment, you will still need ot deal others who have not. there is no escape- and in accepting this, there is peace. as she reflected to me that light of awareness, i, too, felt grateful to be a witness. within the knowledge that being human is by nature limited, i felt true liberation! herein lies the divine paradox, and sweet mother of all: the message is not lost on me! so: loving the self. TRULY. being in the moment-TRULY. yes, it is back to this. ALWAYS back to this. and my work is dropping the judgement, oh the endless bottomless judgement, again and again and again, that i'm not loving myself right, that i've been called out for not being present, that i'm "not there yet." there is nowhere to get--yes, yes, i DO get it! this is the work! this is the truth of being human- for as we all need self-love to experience TRUE love with another, so do WE ALL NEED LOVE!! we will never be free from the longing to be loved, to be held, to be recognized. it is our most sacred divine nature to seek that connection, for it is the embodiment of oneness from which we came. babies will DIE if no one holds them, nurtures them-this is not some spiritual belief, but fact! we are ALL wounded from experiences we cannot even REMEMBER where we did not receive the unconditional love and acceptance that our souls need to grow up in this world. WE ALL NEED LOVE...and that's ok!! but learning to love yourself, to be present, to be self-realized, has NOTHING to do with denying this need! NOTHING!! yes, i see it, o humorous god! you love us SO much that we get to have BOTH... the longing, the love affair, the tears and the exquisite pain of loving another, AND the journey to self-realization that can ONLY occur in the silence of you own heart! THIS is TRUE marriage! THIS is union. yes, i see--the lesson is not lost on me! i am love, i am open. i am in love with everyone and i am my lover alone. i get to share in the divine juice of love AND i get to cultivate what is mine and mine alone: my relationship with myself. my one and only guaranteed life partnership. oh lovers of mine, i bow before you as my teachers!! i thank you with my full heart. please forgive me for burdening you with a responsiblity that was never fully yours but mine-to fully love and accept ALL of me! now i see the missing peace, and i am free. in this moment anyway- oh universe, the games you play... oh my heart, the funny things you say! i am a lover, FULL BLOODED and uncovered, and i will NEVER apologize for fanning the cards of my heart on the table like the feathers of a peacocks tail, i will never grow old of the possibility of growing old with one who is prepared to meet me there. yes, at long last, dear divine voice of god, that speaks through me AS me, i will accept your invitation that has the power to end the struggle of all struggles! yes, finally i submit to you, and at last i will do the only thing i have not yet done for love: to take on the loving of myself with the fiery and all-consuming passion that until NOW i have reserved only for my lovers. yes, oh god of gods, showing up as divine reflections that you are! this message is indeed for me, and for you as well, dear love of mine. this is our task. this is the work. the unending, maddening, work. this is the joy. this is our home. this is the game, this is the only thing that is sane. so at long last my longing finds a home! my prayer is to remember i am never alone and yes, i DO take all of me! for better or for worse, for time and all eternity. this is my vow, and so, sweet lover: the answer will never be lost in me.

performing this friday! come dance for my birthday!

amaezing — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 05:30:38 GMT

simply love

amaezing — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 08:37:05 GMT

i cannot lie. this has been the hardest of times. truly. my heart has been broken open wider then ever before... and i intend to keep it that way. i don't see how i would have gotten here otherwise. i truly do not wake up to my own illusions unless it hurts enough. i wish it were different, but that is not how life works. i have come to the end of a long, dark tunnel. in the light is the me i have been waiting to see. she is much more soft, sensitive, and vulnerable l than i have ever had the courage to share in real, face-to-face life, until now. a series of well timed auspicious events have washed my slate clean. i am reborn, and ready to take my first breath. my first breath as the child without fear, the sensitive one who is not ashamed to admit that i need love, that i make mistakes, that i am human. it is so simple, really. so simple that i overlooked it for 30 years. most of the time i have hid my face from the world, because i was so deep in judgement that i was not able to live up to the image i projected of myself. i wanted only to be strong, beautiful, powerful. i proclaimed that vulnerability is strength, here in my blog from my comfy cave, while in real life i have been utterly terrified to be truly vulnerable. now i see that like a newborn i have no choice but to be that--for that is who i truly am. but like that child i cannot yet walk on my own. i do not know how to move in the world as this new being. but with the love and care of those closest to me, i will learn. i am learning. what does this look like? i don't know. i don't have to know. i just know that i choose to. that i can. i have forgiven myself--at least i have begun the process. i'm dropping my judgement that has stopped the flow of love in my life for so long. i still have the fear. i still have the pain. but i know a sweetness i have not yet known. i know myself as i truly am, and i accept this beautiful being of love. i really wanted to be that fiery, fierce archetype. turns out i'm really just a fish out of water. so i'm gonna dive in. i can't see the depth, but i know in my heart it is endless. let the rain fall...

community bazaar this sunday!

amaezing — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 03:16:21 GMT

hey family! the holidays are upon us and ALL of my jewelry and clothing designs are on major clearance! This sunday I will be vending in atwater village at an outdoor boutique featuring local artists and members of our community. In stock I have: peacock earrings and pendants, cuffs, pants, vests, shirts, hair falls, one-of-a-kind handmade gemstone necklaces, bone and wood earrings and necklaces, bags, and more. (earrings, cuffs, vest and pendant featured below.) GREAT deals, many items just $10. entire outfits for under $100. nothing over $100! lots of good gifts for friends and family, or just a great opportunity to get the clearance prices for yourself while they last. Please come support artists instead of stores! see you sunday!

a freaking rad seminar...join me tonight!

amaezing — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 23:08:04 GMT

i'm doing my due diligence to let you know about a beautiful and life-changing opportunity. It's a seminar called Insight, and it's all about living from the heart. before i attended this weekend i was having some major challenges with anger, resentment and judgement. i got an opportunity to go through a friend and jumped on it. honestly, my expectations weren't very high and i though it might be another semi-cheesy new age deal. Now, i can't even begin to describe how much better i feel. it really was such a beautiful, high, blissed out, educational and transformative experience. just what i needed for real! i feel so much lighter and full of love!! to get you some o' that, come to crowne plaza on century blvd (right near LAX) tonight (monday nov. 17) from 7-10pm. they have a little mini-insight experience, and you can sign up if you choose. these people are NOT pushy, though, like other seminars tend to be. they truly are doing it for the love, and for the benefit of all humanity. the facilitators are practically volunteers, and the company has being doing this on a shoestring budget since 1978. they really deserve to be a lot bigger, and they are currently making huge commitments to bring the work to all parts of the world, including to those who can't afford the tuiton. i'm really inspired by these people to the degree that i might want to get involved and volunteer, maybe even facilitate one day. i highly recommend at least checking it out. http://www.insightseminars.org/ if you wanna come tonight, (monday) it's free. parking is $8 in the garage on site. if you are feeling down, lonely or sad, or maybe angry, pissed and resentful (as i was all of the above) you owe it to yourself to change that. according to what we choose, these things can be hard or easy, fast or slow. it's up to you. personally, i think it's well worth the time and money for the result. i think it's crucial. so much love, amae

the strange to-do list of an almost married girl

amaezing — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 06:04:19 GMT

-field calls from everyone i know and tell them i'm fine. get back in touch with the world -switch ring from left hand to right -have wedding dress fitting, cuz it is ready...bring friends for support -give the bridesmaids the gifts i got for them anyway -do something with that stack of wedding books -change his airline ticket for the 'honeymoon' to someone else's name -plan my 'honeymoon' accommodations and turn the trip into a business design venture with the money saved -plan activities for myself on what would have been the wedding day -erase the wedding website i took months to create with a single click (still haven't been able to do this) -return the gifts-or ask if i can keep them and pay for them -buy myself the things i really wanted from the registry (juicer, ice cream maker, air filter, bamboo dishes) -pay the balance for things still owed for the wedding... -recycle the $1500 wedding invitations (havent done this yet either) -record the song i wrote to sing for him at our wedding because it's already half done. (this will be hard for me) -change the phone message from a "we" message to a "me" message -marvel at the thought of being single from within my cave -feed my own dog for the first time (aaron always fed all the dogs) -buy new bedding -write new songs -sage the place -fill in the gaps in the house so i don't see him gone -quick-get a roommate!! -drop off his mail -find his socks still hiding in the laundry -put all the things that are his in one spot in the garage -slowly replace the things i still use that are his, and give them back -re-aquaint myself with carrying heavy objects and using a power drill -haul the 5-gallon water jugs in myself -decorate the house without having to ask -finally make the altars -turn the picture frames down-for now -cut my hair any way i want. yeah! (looks like i'm gonn be boring and just grow it out though. i'm halfway there, so...) -contemplate new tattoos ("lover" across my heart?) -find the strength to erase the lovey text messages from him that fill my phone (still can't) -hang out with the girls! -new recipes -try to get myself out every once in a while -watch every episode of sex and the city that i can find -fight the urge to go into escapism and take care of myself instead -start kicking ass on my own two feet -walk my dog like i own the street -flirt with the bag boy at trader joe's (i live in the valley--got a better idea?) -plan fundraiser for a friend in need -go shopping for just about everything--justify all of it... -quit smoking pot-again (two weeks in) -read relationship and self-help books like mad -go on a cleanse -daydream about wearing my wedding dress someday... -join the gym already -organize everything like a fiend -get my ass in gear -make to-do lists a mile long....and do them -get in the damn pool -be the man! -have the courage to still trust in love oh yeah...and -learn to love myself and forgive myself (this is the hardest one)

clothing exchange gathering/super sale THIS SUNDAY

amaezing — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 21:22:22 GMT

i'm having a clothing exchange/veggie potluck gathering at my house this sunday from 6-10pm. bring your oldies but goodies and trade 'em for newies! also, i am leaving for bali to do production in a few weeks and i need to sell my old stock so i can make more! that means crazy deals for you, my family, on my pants, vests, cuffs, and peacock jewelry. (shown above.) this will be one-time only prices for this stuff--rock bottom deals!! i'll have them out just in case you want to take advantage of that. i take credit cards, checks, cash, maybe even trade. from the ladies i know are coming, this is gonna be a good one! plus it's the first gathering at my new house! so clean your closet and come join the fun. girl time! if you want to come, please send me your email to amae@amaezing.com (NOT ON TRIBE!!!) and i'll send you the evite. p.s. if you know where i can buy organic black stretch cotton or bamboo fabric in bulk, holla. i need to find it ASAP!!

clothing exchange gathering/super sale THIS SUNDAY

amaezing — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 21:19:48 GMT

endings and emergings...

amaezing — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 08:57:30 GMT

i have cried and cried again reading your comments on my last couple blogs. thank you so much and i love you all! i have felt so alone and unexpressed in the last year, being with someone who is more private than me. i tried to express my feelings in my blogs without naming names, but it still hit too close to home with him and i had to take them down, which i understand. still, it was another thing i compromised, not realizing how much it hurt me to do so. i felt so incredibly alone, knowing how bad things were but knowing that no one knew what was going on and thought i was having this fairytale romance. it was hard for me to let that go--and i am not the only one. i have seen the disappointment in the faces of many women i have told, seeing their own dreams of a romantic happy ending die a little death along with mine. lord knows i really played up the romance, and i would do it again. it really was that magical AND it is as it is now. i want to heal and show women that love is always perfect and a reflection of ourselves no matter what the story is. we can keep the romance AND step away from the illusion of anyone every being able to "complete" us. we are perfect, whole, and complete, just as we are. the question is, what do we want to create? my blogs have long been a source of self-expression, solace and support for me, and it feels good to be back. this has been such an intense year for all of us it seems-i have so much to share beyond all this wedding stuff, and i am eager to connect and express it. It really feels like everything i have been brewing for my whole life is finally starting to make sense. like all the floating fragments are finding a home, and i can see what the picture in the puzzle makes for the first time. you all know i could go on forever....and i will...point being, EPIC changes on the horizon. for all of us. together we are powerful and can create anything.

oh me oh my

amaezing — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 06:53:44 GMT

some moments i feel blessed and clear. others i feel run over by a truck. my delicate balance i worked so hard to achieve is in danger of being utterly demolished. balance is the biggest bitch. my candida issues, skin, habits, sleep and eating patterns haunt me. i now find myself in the desert, fasting, cleansing, and being. i only wish the thoughts in my brain could be automatically transcribed. it is hard to keep up with myself. i am like the wind, all over the place. at the same time i am experiencing startling clarity about myself and the nature of my relationships. every day feels like years worth of experience, realization, feeling, and letting go. i thought my core issues had come up before, but let me tell you i am SHOCKED at how much more is in there. why am i so afraid to be alone? always wanting to appear strong, attractive, wise. all of my relationships have served as a distraction from my own life. it is the ugly truth. i spent 6 months of my life planning the wedding and finding the house and moving and fixing, all the while frustrated creatively. i was doing it all for "us" because i thought hey, you only get married once (hopefully.) my career can wait, right? wrong. i know i was not the most fun person to be around. it is usually is not fun to be around a powerful person who is not living their potential. this is a very painful and very obvious reminder for me to NEVER put my relationship, or anyone else, before my own needs and dreams. i am surprised at the level i compromised my own needs and ignored countless red flags, justifying everything as a "lesson." i see that i have done this in every relationship. without even realizing it, i adjust my own behavior to match my partner. then, when they do not notice my efforts, i feel unappreciated--for making the changes i was never asked to make. can you say "i've become my mother?" scary. i do not know where my lack or self-worth comes from. i had a pretty great childhood. yes, the religious stuff was hardcore, but i never wanted for anything, i had 2 loving parents, and i was spoiled shitless. everyone always told me i was talented, beautiful, that i would be a star. maybe that is it--i never got a chance to develop this on my own, my mother was always hovering over me, and now i have become a seeker of love from the outside. there is no reason for me to be desperate. i'm ready to stop playing this game that i don't know. i have always known, and now it is time for me to act. the night of the temple burn is when we ended it. our wedding invitation had been placed in the temple, unbeknownst to me. the dream of the perfect wedding i wanted so much to share with all of my loved ones was burned to ashes. the shame of having to announce it so publicly made me feel like i had failed. i felt raw, exposed, and more vulnerable than i can ever remember. i have questioned everything this past month-where i want to live, if i ever want to get a married or have kids, who i am. i realize i really DO want to be married, when the time is right. Lord knows i have a dress. only this time i have such a better idea of what my needs are concerning someone i want to spend the rest of my life with, and the person i want to be by then. that is the gift-the clarity. i have a lot of work to do. i don't believe in settling, i am wary of compromise. in theory everything is great. i get to focus on myself, reconnect with all of my friends (who i never should have become so estranged from) and heal. i get to live my dreams, and attract a life partnership that is ideal for me. i have everything i really need, i am blessed. still, the part of my that starves for affection is flailing inside, desperately seeking connection, frustrating my efforts. as much as i know this is not the truth of who i am, i feel pain from being away from my loved one. i want to be touched, loved, told i am beautiful. i don't know why i need this so badly--i know i am worthy of everything i desire. i am afraid these tendencies will get me into trouble again. i truly feel that this lifetime for me is all about relationships, unlike in countless others. so, i like to be in one whenever possible--i like a challenge, reflection, conversation, intimacy, communication. also, i refuse to sleep with anyone casually, because that is how unhealthy attachments are formed. i am prone to being blinded by lust and calling it love, like many of us. if you are gonna do the dance of creation, i just feel there should be a solid foundation. and i do not like going for very long without sex. who does? but i know it is not sex i crave. it is intimacy. i need to ponder all of this and maybe adjust my perceptions, so i can find a way to be happy being single. it's disturbing for me to realize i have made the classic female mistake-being insecure and needy. i always thought that my partners were unable to love me the way i loved them-refusing to see that i was asking for way too much, more than anyone could ever give. all my bravery, boldness and confidence hid this very well, even from myself. now i am faced with becoming the me i know myself to be, whole and radiant, needing nothing but overflowing with love to share. i am willing to look an the scary truth and heal, repeating my patterns is truly not an option. aaron is so wonderful. our last week living together after the breakup was amazing. ironically our relationship became everything i wanted. the day he left we meditated, sending back the other's energy and grounding. we has such great clarity about what happened and why. we vowed to support each other in whatever way we needed. we both apologized and forgave each other. it was the perfect breakup. our relationship was wonderful--only we weren't suited for each other, and i failed to acknowledge this time and time again. i thought if we were only willing, we could work through anything. but in reality we have very different needs, and it would be hard for either of us to meet those for the other. the closer the wedding got, the more miserable we became. if we had simply loved each other for the sake of it, i am fairly certain we would still be together. but i guess that would be playing it way too safe for either of us. we took a big risk for each other, and in the end it was worth every minute. it is so strange to be doing all of this in the light of truth. no blame, no games. simply, "i love you, and you are not the one for me." in the end, i am truly grateful for the way it all went down. if i had figured out any of this earlier, i wouldn't own a house and dog right now. i wouldn't have the clarity of what i really need from a relationship. i wouldn't have the wonderful depth of understanding that i have with aaron. i wouldn't be having such a clear look into my core issues. and i wouldn't have created such a truly amazing transformation portal. everything makes sense in a way i can't describe. i think this was very big karmic completion, and will open up more doors than i can currently imagine. that's what i choose to create. but it still hurts like a motherfucking bitch.

temple photos?

amaezing — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 19:45:55 GMT

i am dying to see photos of the temple....BEFORE it burned down. help a sistah out....!

long story but....

amaezing — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 09:27:23 GMT

i'm not getting married. aaron and i broke up. we love each other very much. i'm doing very well, considering. i feel more peaceful. i'm VERY grateful for the blessings & lessons. i am getting back to me... there. i told all of you. now i can stop dreading it and get on with my life. there will be more. love you all. :)

WESTSIDE BURNING MAN BOUTIQUE SALE TODAY

amaezing — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 17:51:16 GMT

Me, Aaron, ELijah, Melodia, Dario, Sivitri, Scorpio and more selling MEN and WOMENS clothing, jewelry, art, gear, neccesities, accessories, tools, lights galore and incredible FOOD! COME ONE COME ALL, 2PM-8PM SUNDAY (today!) AT 666 NAVY ST, SANTA MONICA TO a ONE-STOP SHOP for burners, freaks, lovers, gearheads, and hipsters alike! We have practically everything you would want for the burn and beyond, at discount prices! Come support the community instead of stores!! Here's a little peek at what's available from us alone: we gots the AMAEZING stuff which covers your FASHION needs including: -peacock & silver earrings & pendants, (gorgeous!) -sexy & comfy stretchy vests, pants, tops & dresses in many colors -bone & wood carved earrings and plugs -one-of-a kind & custom gemstone necklaces -cuffs, hats, hair falls, misc. accessories -some good secondhand picks from my closet, -RAW food prep/lesssons &/or *chocolates* for the burn for you!! AND we have Aaron's SERIOUSLY FUNCTIONAL& sturdy (like Save-your ass-if the-world-ends quality) goods for the burn and beyONd. OH, and some toys. We like toys! -SOLar flashlights, powerful mini-LED lights, headlamps, light-up frisbees, bike wheel lights, lights galore! -backpacks and BAGs galore by Maxpedition -multi-tools, knives, -super-dope harnesses by civilian labs, -belts, hip packs -attachment accessories, (caribiners, s-biners, gear retractors, etc) -Multi-colored LED Illumination and "blinkies" by Nite-Ize -dust goggles (many styles, some foldable and/or with interchangeable lenses) -custom burning man kits with civilian labs holster for virgins and veterans alike. -TONz of great stuff for men and badass ladies too-of course...! BOTTOM LINE: there is a trove of various treasures-many more not listed, just let us know what you need and we may have it!! Do not hesitate to call us, we are here to answer all of your questions. COME VISIT US AND GET FABULOUSLY PREPARED--for the BURN & for LIFE! :) blessings community*** hope you are all having an amazing and transformational summer. amae: 310 428 2942 aaron: 310 995 3899

HUNKA BURNING LOVE!

amaezing — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 21:09:02 GMT

Are you going to Burning Man? Know people who are? Then we have an opportunity for you--please help us spread the word! We are setting up an exclusive appointment-only "Fashion and Function" boutique at our home in Woodland Hills. We have practically everything you would want for the burn and beyond, at SUPER discount prices! Come support the community instead of stores and PAY LESS too!! We are available most weeknights from 7-11pm all month. We'll be here for you all the way up until you leave for Burning Man. Nobody will walk away without a killer deal. Expect to get hooked up. If you, or anyone you know, is going to Burning Man this year, please send them our way to get hooked up with some uber-fabulous, steeply discounted, top-quality gear, jewelry and toys. We're even making Burning Man essentials kits, for "virgins" and veterans alike. Here's a little peek at what's available: we gots the AMAEZING stuff which covers your FASHION needs! (big surprise there!) including: -peacock & silver earrings & pendants, (gorgeous!) -sexy & comfy stretchy vests, pants, tops & dresses in many colors -bone & wood carved earrings and plugs -one-of-a kind & custom gemstone necklaces -cuffs, hats, hair falls, misc. accessories -some good secondhand picks from my closet, -crafty odds and ends: fabric, yarn, etc. -RAW food prep/lesssons &/or *chocolates* for the burn for you!! AND we have Aaron's SERIOUSLY FUNCTIONAL& sturdy (like Save-your ass-if the-world-ends quality) goods for the burn and beyONd. OH, and some toys. We like toys! -SOLar flashlights, powerful mini-LED lights, headlamps, light-up frisbees, bike wheel lights, lights galore! -backpacks and BAGs galore by Maxpedition -multi-tools, knives, -super-dope harnesses by civilian labs, -belts, hip packs -attachment accessories, (caribiners, s-biners, gear retractors, etc) -Multi-colored LED Illumination and "blinkies" by Nite-Ize -dust goggles (many styles, some foldable and/or with interchangeable lenses) -custom burning man kits with civilian labs holster for virgins and veterans alike. -TONz of great stuff for men and badass ladies too-of course...! COMING SOON: full emergency kits!! The sales this month will be helping to fund Aaron's emergency preparedness business. In this pre-launch phase of the new business, Mother Eagle, LLC, we can use any and all revenue we can get, so that we can proceed with the real mission of helping people truly become more "radically self-reliant" (for more than just a week in the desert). Check out www.mothereagle.net to see all the gear he has available so far. (Check back as it is being updated constantly!) The BM stuff will be up in a couple days, so if you can't make it out here, but want to support, you can always shop online! Note: 10% of our sales will go to helping Fatou, a sponsor child in senegal, and our dear friend Renee, whose health is suffering greatly from auto-immune disease and needs treatment. BOTTOM LINE: there is a trove of various treasures-many more not listed, just let us know what you need and we may have it!! Do not hesitate to call us, we are here to answer all of your questions. For me personally, I am open to possible trades at the moment, as my schedule allows. If you do mind-blowing massage, cleaning, organizing, have goods to sell, or possess secretarial skills, and want to trade with me, please let me know! Our house is near the topanga canyon exit on the 101 freeway. at night it's a quick 20-minute drive from downtown, hollywood, silverlake, or the west side. We love our new house and would love to have you over! COME VISIT US AND GET FABULOUSLY PREPARED--for the BURN & for LIFE! :) blessings community*** hope you are all having an amazing and transformational summer. amae: 310 428 2942 aaron: 310 995 3899 home: 818 456 4096

tribal trivia!

amaezing — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 22:01:33 GMT

how connected are you? prove your tribe-savvy by giving me the emails of these people--especially if you are one of them! (or just let them know i need their info, but i promise you no one would be bummed if you gave it to me. pinky swear!) it helps me so much to not have to contact each person one-by-one on tribe!! give me the most emails and win a pair of custom-made cuffs designed by me...;) minx isis crystalia jessica and isaac mariano maurin brendt (lives in taipei, bff of heidi) atom and alanna lycee caitlin-lives in LA geno ton ton trey-from portland gemini rosalie & joseph djun djun imagika hero neptune dawn light amora ok, go!

FLY JEWELS

amaezing — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 10:05:59 GMT

by the purple peacock pixie! earrings & amulets available. here's the deal: enclosed peacock feathers that will never be destroyed, framed with sterling silver lotus petals. gorgeous! the earrings have loops on the bottom so you can attach extra feathers or dangly bits of choice. the pendants are $75 and the earrings $125 normally, but i'm willing to make some burning man bargains. check out my pics for more shots of the different styles cuz i just posted a bunch! the peacock is a symbol of transformation, very appropriate for theses times. I am amazed how often people stop me to drool over my amulet. i have never gotten so many compliments on any other piece of jewelry in my life. come get some! :) (i also have pants, vests, tops, dresses, belts, hats, cuffs, and a ton of other jewelry and accesories-great prices! come visit me and play dress up:)

where my tribe at?

amaezing — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 02:45:50 GMT

i feel like i've lost a piece of my soul or something....nobody seems to come around here no more. i've been able to sign in a lot faster now, but is it too late? i'm bummed it has come to this. do any of you really have time to build up another social network elsewhere? for me, i have no interest really. it took me years to build the solid network i have here. my myspace page is for music promo and i accept anyone as a friend, so that is really no place for me to spill the beans about my private life. don't even get me started on facebook...anyone can easliy look at your profile there, like the government. it is NOT a secure site. look into it if you don't believe me. i like zaadz, (or whatever its called now) but not many people i know are on there. i like tribe, and i won't leave! so everyone please just come back!! i feel comfortable here, free to speak my heart. you all are the people i know and love, who listen. tribe is a place where i count on people to speak their truth. no other social network has such an intimate feel. i am sad and i miss all of you, i miss reading blogs and having responses to mine. oh god, listen to me, getting all sentimental over an online social network. i must really be lonely for the tribe!! c'mon now, say it isn't so--are the tribe glory days over and gone?

you wanna, we gotta!

amaezing — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 09:25:54 GMT

come visit our fashion & function bazaar (aka OuR HoUSe) any time! we gots the Amae (datS ME) stuff which is mostly FASHION (big surprise there) with peacock & silver earrings & pendants, (earrings shown above) vests, pants, & dresses in many colors, hats, bone & wood eaRrings, one-of-a kind gemstone jewelry, CUffs, and much MORE. (check out my pics for more!) i could even CHEF up some RAW food &/or chocolate for the burn for you!! and then of course wE have the AarON stuff which is mostly SERIOUSLY (You guessed it..)) FUNCTIONAL& sturdy (like Save-your ass-if the-world-ends quaLITY) goods for the burn and beyONd--like SOLar flashlights, powerful mini-LED lights, headlamps, backpacks and BAGs galore, multi-tools, knives, harnesses, belts and TONz of great man-toys!! (fer badass ladies too-of course...! ) and coming soon: full emergency kits!! aaron is currently working on his website, so check out www.mothereagle.net to see all the gear he has available (this will be updated and added to over the next few days, so keep checking back!) BoTTOM LINE: there is a trove of various treasures-many more not listed, just let us know what you need and we may have it!! for me personally, i am open to possible trades available at the moment, as my schedule allows. if you do mind-blowing massage, cleaning, organizing, or possess secretarial skills, hit me up fo' sho! We know all of us have crazy busy lives-so just call us if you want to set a time to come look at everything at your leisure. we are available most weeknights from 7-11pm all month. we're just working away on our new house, business and of course wedding so it would be great to see a familiar face every once in a while. :) oh, and we live in woodland hills, near the topanga canyon exit on the 101 freeway. at night it's a quick 20-minute drive from downtown, hollywood, silverlake, or the west side. Insider Fam Tip:: we have a pool-- come lay by it and have COLD BEER--free with purchase :) COME VISIT US AND GET FABULOUSLY PREPARED-for the BURN & for LIFE :) blessings community*** hope you are all having an amazing and transformational summer. amae: 310 428 2942 home: 818 456 4096

bitches, beats, and tasty eats (with alex grey!)

amaezing — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 08:57:33 GMT

Sexy Bitches Like it Raw! is stoked to announce we will be serving up a devilishly delish spread of raw food and desserts at VALA (visionary art los angeles.) this is an event involving alex grey and other visionary artists in downtown los angeles TONIGHT! (frdiay july 18) we'll be teaming up with bliss bar to bring you a vast array of amazing live foods! come early for a shmancy sit-down dinner and visionary art panel or just come at 10 to dance to david starfire and others, watch the live painting and of course eat! $15 meal deals including dessert will be available-what a deal! we would love to see some familiar faces there after our long catering hiatus, and this event is the best of all worlds! join us if you can, for you are ALL sexy bitches! so come support yourself! ;) go here to see the flier http://www.cosm.org/ it's at club 740.... 740 s. broadway LA, ca 90014

moving and boutique sale again tomorrow SUNDAY-tons of stuff left!

amaezing — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 05:51:40 GMT

come tomorrow to our new house...still LOTS of stuff, esp. our boutique of new stuff inside! many must-haves for burning man. high-quality tools, lights, clothing, accesories, vests, jackets, jewelry. lots of inexpensive clothing hats, and accesories in the moving sale stuff. major family discounts. full list of garage sale and boutique items below. we have a lot of great condition valuable things for your household, men, women and dogs! most 90% off. here is a list so you can see if you want to stop by tomorrow. free item with every purchase! 6852 sausalito ave west hills, ca 91307 10am-4pm DO NOT come earlier than 10, please! kneeling office chair- $2 AKAI headrush EI guitar FX pedal $50 silent super shark vacuum w/ extra attachments (hardly used) $5 pops-a-dent (never used, in box) $3 green ceramic elephant teapot set $5 onkyo integra AM/FM stereo tuner-a real relic! $2 fish tank supplies (small tank filter, heater, and pump) $10 for all picture frames $1 brita filter replacement cartridge $2 assorted beanie babies - new with tags $2 blown glass jars $2 assorted backpacks and bags $2-$4 green ceramic elephant teapot set $5 onkyo integra AM/FM stereo tuner-a real relic! $2 fish tank supplies (small tank filter, heater, and pump) $10 for all "The Block" adjustable dumbell set $3 kitchen utensils- garlic slicer, peelers, cheese slicer, utensils $1 gallon cooler $2 box of 4 wine glasses $4 ceramic coffee cups $1 scarves $3 new torchiere floor lamp from staples-in box $5 assorted decorations women's clothing: very cheap and a few designer things men's clothing - classic Obey "Nico" shirt! men and women's hats costume/burning man gear women's purses *** dog stuff:: large folding sturdy crate - good condition - $12 mini carrier, $2 plush black bag toy dog carrier-very cute & NEW. $20 assorted toys $1 high-end small-dog cone collar $2 leashes $1 *** portable cd player-$3 photo books $1 cordless phone $2 kate spade purse $40 HOOVER steamvac V2 with Rinse (works well! $280 new) $25 presto heatlamps $2 each Coleman twin air mattress with battery-operated pump (works well! - like new!) $3 this stuff we have inside in a seperate boutique of new items-higher end, but still great deals! fashion: tribal bone and horn earrings one-of-a kind handmade gemstone jewelry comfy sexy women's clothing-vests and pants peacock feather and sterling sliver pendants and earrings hand cuffs solid jade bracelet *** function: emergency gear bogo solar flashlights mini LED lights maxpedition backpacks and bags multi-tools (see separate ad for preparedness tools and toys (great gifts for men and items to start or polish your emergency kits: http://losangeles.craigslist.org/sfv/tls/752907251.html WE CURRENTLY HAVE NO INTERNET ACCESS AT HOME, SO PLEASE CALL IF YOU WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT ANY OF THE ABOVE ITEMS BEFORE COMING OVER! 310 995 3899

BIG-TIME garage sale & BM boutique at our new house this weekend!!

amaezing — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 19:37:46 GMT

this weekend, sat july 13 & 14, 10am-4pm. we are having a MASSIVE sale at our new house!! 6852 sausalito ave, west hills, ca 91307 (directions are at the bottom of the page.) if you've been to one of my sales, this is best one yet...we have SO much truly great DIRT CHEAP & FREE stuff for men, woman and dogs. we'll have an outdoor garage sale and an indoor boutique for our new stuff-- like Amae's clothing and jewelry line and Aaron's new line of survival/camping gear and tools galore. both of our lines have NEVER been showcased anywhere besides LIB, and that was only a partial peek. this weekend you'll get the top picks for fashion & function essentials for the burn and beyond. come see us and our new house while stocking up for BM and your house! please forward this on to anyone in the tribe! we have 3 distinct categories of pricing, here they are: *DIRT CHEAP/FREE STUFF! $1-$20 dog beds, dog toys, dog bowls, dog brushes galore!! dishes, pots, pans, crock pot, slicer, knives, dinnerware, tupperware, tools, cutting boards, sheets, bedding, pillows, trash cans, office supply FREE hair products and hair dye, beauty products, makeup (including MAC) books, teas, utensils, clothes, jewelry, toys, teapot, craft stuff, MOVING BOXES! *digitized sewing machine, $2k new-needs 200$ in repairs, FREE and MORE CATEGORY 2: higher-end but still smokin' deals! we WILL bargain! $5-$50 -clothes, clothes clothes!!!! costumes, designer, funky, handmade, more... BURNING MAN GEAR/COSTUMES: COATS, shoes, HATS, accesories jewelry-TONS!!! all categories. accesories-scarves, gloves, socks, hats, etc furniture office chair tools, camping stuff tv/stereo wood entertainment center-$30 wood end table with orange and yellow suns on it-$10 home decor, framed posters, art crystals, candle holders *fender passport battery pack and DC converter--now discontinued, worth over $200, sell for 150 OBO -small guitar FX thingy -NICE new crumpler camera bag, $40 -35mm olympus stylus film camera with zoom, weather/playa proof $100 2 digital cameras, one really nice, with memory chips, price negotiable CATEGORY 3---NEW STUFF, great prices!! $5-$125 please take off your garage sale hat for this stuff! we will have a seperate boutique inside for these items. WOMEN'S clothes and jewelry, and MAN TOYS!! see below: womens: COMFY SEXY SUMMER STUFF!! GREAT FOR THE BURN!! full outfits, original designs, with vest and pants- $100 new clothes & jewelry line: vests $45, pants $65, dresses $60, shirts $25, cuffs $15, peacock earrings $125, pendants $75 custom EPIC gemstone necklaces, bone/wood earrings.... mens: a bunch of high quality emergency/survival/camping/trekking gear: military spec packs, holsters, headlamps, solar flashlights, storage solutions, LED lights, cool man-toys, tools, knives, multi-tools, books, radiation-free blue tube headsets for cellphones (you need one now-it's the law!) and MORE. all this and there is MORE i am not even thinking of....see you there! feel free to call me: 310 428 2942 directions: exit topanga canyon blvd NORTH off the 101 freeway, go 1.5 miles, then turn LEFT at vanowen, after you pass shoup, go RIGHT at SALE, go 2 blocks and go RIGHT when the street ends at BASSETT, and you run right directly into our front lawn when basset ends on sausalito in one block..... blessings! amae www.amaezing.com www.myspace.com/amaemusic

truly great GARAGE SALE/ burning man sale/ clothing and emergency gear boutique

amaezing — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 03:41:01 GMT

this weekend, sat july 13 we are having a MASSIVE sale at our new house. best one yet...SO MUCH GREAT STUFF for dirt cheap and FREE!! come one, come all and tell yo' friends! here's info: 6852 sausalito ave, west hills, ca 91307 SAT & SUN JULY 12 & 13, 10-4pm. this ain't your grandma's garage sale!! funky people come out for this one!! we have SO much truly great DIRT CHEAP & FREE stuff for men, woman and dogs. we have 3 distinct categories of pricing, including a high-end boutique we will have inside, featuring amazing tools and man-toys, plus new custom peacock feather jewelry and clothes girls will faint over. lots of new & used stuff for funky and/or BURNING MAN people in all categories! here they are: *DIRT CHEAP/FREE STUFF! dog beds, dog toys, dog bowls, dog brushes galore!! dishes, pots, pans, croc pot, slicer, knives, dinnerware, tupperware, tools, cutting boards, sheets, bedding, pillows, FREE hair products and hair dye, beauty products, makeup (including MAC) books, teas, utensils, clothes, jewelry, toys *digitized sewing machine, $2k new-needs 200$ in repairs, FREE and MORE CATEGORY 2: higher-end but still smokin' deals! $5-$50 -clothes, clothes clothes!!!! costumes, designer, funky, handmade, more... BURNING MAN GEAR: COATS< HATS< WILD COSTUMES, accesories jewelry-TONS!!! all categories. accesories-scarves, gloves, socks, hats, etc shoes furniture home decor crystals, candle holders, *fender passport battery pack and DC converter--now discontinued, worth over $200, sell for 150 OBO -small guitar FX thingy -NICE new crumpler camera bag, $40 -35mm olympus stylus film camera with zoom, weather/playa proof, $100 2 digital camera, one really nice, with memory chips, price negotiable CATEGORY 3---NEW STUFF, great prices!! $5-$125 please take off your garage sale hat for this stuff! we will have a seperate boutique inside for these items. WOMEN'S clothes and jewelry, and MAN TOYS!! see below: womens: COMFY SEXY SUMMER STUFF!! GREAT FOR THE BURN!! full outfits, original designs, with vest and pants- $100 new clothes & jewelry line: vests $45, pants $65, dresses $60, shirts $25, cuffs $15, peacock earrings $125, pendants $75 custom EPIC gemstone necklaces, bone/wood earrings.... mens: a bunch of high quality emergency/survival/camping/trekking gear: military spec packs, holsters, headlamps, solar flashlights, storage solutions, LED lights, cool man-toys, tools, knives, multi-tools, books, radiation-free blue tube headsets for cellphones (you need one now-it's the law!) and MORE. all this and there is MORE i am not even thinking of....see you there!

SEXY BITCHES NEEDED for COSM event july 18!

amaezing — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 03:13:26 GMT

sexy bitches like it RAW! has been contacted by alex grey's COSM team to host & serve at their los angeles event on july 18. WOW! mystique, myself and a few other luscious ladies (maybe you?) will be hitting the crowd armed with delectable trays of raw goodies for the sellin'. all bitches get to keep their tips, eat fantastic treats and go to an amazing event! and other minimal pay may be possible. if that's gonna make it or break it for you, please contact us! we are looking for sexy, sassy, energetic ladies preferably with experience serving to go around, mingle with the crowd and sell them delicious desserts. if interested, please contact amae or mystique asap!! amae@amaezing.com mystiquestar@sexybitcheslikeitraw.com here's some info about the event: Sexy Bitches Like it Raw are joining forces with The Bliss Bar so we can serve up the bomb food. So not only will there be a party all around you, but [you guessed it!] there will also be a party in your MOUTH! We are so honored to be a part of this event, come and join us if you feel inspired to:) If you are new to Visionary, I highly recommend this as your entrance! Friday, July 18th 2008 7 pm- 10 pm $35 (lecture) after 10 pm $25 Club Seven Fourty 740 south Broadway (entrance on corner of W 8th st & s Spring Street) 90014 www.740La.com

moving madness!!

amaezing — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 00:47:51 GMT

greetings family! wow...the last few days were absolutely wild. i'm so glad i'm a woman, cuz carrying stuff is NOT my favorite thing. (esp. in the hot sun.) how the heck they do it i don't even know. even with my comparatively meager workload, i was so tired last night that my body had to shut down against my will while i was trying to use it to do stuff. i had been packing and cleaning nonstop for 4 days straight. i could barely make it to bed, and a shower was not happening because we only had cold water....(had to get the pilot lit today.) i still havent taken a shower.....wow, that is really gross. we don't have internet or tv. i'm at an internet cafe down the street right now. so if you want to get ahold of me right away, call! i now have cell phone reception at home....what a concept! yesterday we were up at 8 and moving stuff straight until about 7pm with the movers, then unpacking till we fell apart. i sure had a funny initiation as a valley-ite, because i had to go get lunch for all the movers at panda express (their choice.) it is of course totally against my values to buy commercial meat and dairy, but sometimes life throws you a curve ball and it is better to go with the flow and not make anybody feel judged. so i went-man does that place smell like crack. food-crack. by the time i left i almost wanted some. then i went to ralphs to get coronas and water. when i got back to my car, it smelled like a be-jing beef bomb had exploded. my sense of smell and taste is really sensitive because of how i eat, plus i never cook meat, so i am really sensitive to the smell. but i have to admit it did smell good...good crack! i just find it funny that the first thing i did after coming down off my topanga mountain to the valley was join the masses shopping at huge corporate food chains. so it goes. i guess i belong now...among the strip malls.....ha! last night was our first night in our new home. nothing is perfect, the house is a maze of boxes, moving cost 3 times what we thought it would, but we did it. now all we have to do is.....everything else. damn!! i wish i had a team of pro-unpackers/decorators who would magically spirit everything in its proper place and make sure everything else goes to someone who needs it or trade it for the stuff we do need...any volunteers?? the garage sale is gonna be ridiculous, but i've done enough of them to know that there will stull be a lot left over. i pray not! we ended up importing WAY too much stuff we don't need, so we could give away/sell it...we both want to make sure it ends up being used. we didnt have time to clean out everything before we left. it is so tempting in the maze and hard work of moving to just toss things in the trash, esp. when it is REALLY dirty and you don't have time to clean it. when aaron moved into his topanga place, a TON of stuff was left behind (long story) that we inherited including a washer, dryer and fridge...yeah! but we also inherited a bunch of "stuff" we had to clean, sort, haul away this week...aaron still has to go back one more time! man, i LOVED it up there, but i gotta tell you that is the DIRTIEST place i have EVER lived. dust blows in so fast it would make your head spin. everything we packed it COVERED in dust. so not only do i have to unpack, but CLEAN every single thing. it is gonna be A LOT of work. and i have to try not to freak out that i have moved all this DIRTY stuff to my perfect new house. it is definitely the nicest place either of us have ever lived. i've never even had a dishwasher before. i've only had a disposal once. this place is nice, and it is up to us to keep it that way! a lifetime of STUFF!! we both have quite a bit, but i just attract it like mad. as the daughter of a shopaholioc, and being an artist with too many hobbies, it happens. i really want everything to be clean, organized and accesible in my new home. i have wanted this my whole life, and never even come close. what to do? i have so many things i could sell for a lot of money, i just have to organize and figure out how to use ebay....i never seem to get around to it though, and i keep holding on to all this stuff. i always think this thought that as a chronically disorganized person, i am not the most qualified to design an airtight organization system!! but i also know that is just my little story and the truth is, it just takes time, effort, and presence just like everything else. i have to live my life, and it usually takes me MONTHS to get settled, which i would like it not to this time.....well, what can i do...i can only do ONE thing at a time. (at least, that is what i tell myself, so i won't try to do everything at once and do it all badly!) the dogs are confused. that was a whole other aspect of the move. poor things. now they have been demoted....we no longer live in the dog house, they live in OUR house. they are not allowed in any of the bedrooms now unless we let them in. so, no more sleeping in a bed full of dirt and hair! no more huge gobs of dog hair in every room! no more having to wear shoes in the house because the floor is so dirty! so far shanti just stands there whining at the gate, and every time we open it they try to rush it. it is gonna take some time for them to get used to it, and we will need to be consistent. wow, i can't believe it is over. i'm home!! what a beautiful blessing to be home. now, back to one thing at a time.....

get psyched for the SALE OF ALL SALES!!!

amaezing — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 23:56:45 GMT

so...our garage sale is not this weekend but NEXT july 12 & 13....because we are moving this weekend. i just wanted to get you psyched for the sale of all sales!!! It will be at our new pad in west hills, which is right next to canoga park, off the 101 topanga exit. PLAN TO BE THERE---put it on your calendar!! i have SO MUCH stuff. i know a few of you have contacted me about coming over sooner, and i'm sorry i havent responded. moving is crazy and stuff is all spread out--it is best if you just come early to the sale when i have everything all together!! i will also hold certain things if any of you want! we have a few catergories of stuff you can browse here:: DIRT CHEAP STUFF! cheap & FREE kitchen stuff....dishes, pots, pans, croc pot, slicer, knives, dinnerware, tupperware, tools, cutting boards, sheets, bedding, pillows, FREE hair products and hair dye, beauty products, makeup (including MAC) burning man bike, free (needs tune up) books, books, lots of good books dog beds, dog toys digitized sewing machine-needs 200$ in repairs, FREE (badass machine, but not for industrial use.) now for the higher end stuff.....that you still will get a SMOKIN' deal on... -clothes, clothes clothes!!!! good ones, free ones, designer ones, more... BURNING MAN GEAR_COATS< HATS< WILD COSTUMES jewelry-old, new, free, etc accesories-scarves, gloves, socks, hats, etc shoes furniture (have to figure out exactly what fits in new house first....) home decor altar stuff fender passport battery pack and DC converter--now discontinued, worth over $200, sell for 150 OBO small guitar FX thingy burning man shade structure (NICE high end carport, costs about 220, used once last year, sell for 150.) -NICE camera bag, -35mm olympus stylus film camera with zoom, weather/playa proof, $100 2 digital camera, one really nice, with memory chips and even higher end... please take off your garage sale hat for this stuff and think instead as if you are shopping at LIB or something.... full outfits (my designs) with vest and pants- $100-still cheap for that market!! & i will bargain!! COMFY SEXY SUMMER STUFF!! GREAT FOR THE BURN!! new clothes & jewelry line: vests $45, pants $65, dresses $60, shirts $25, cuffs $15, peacock earings $125, pendants $75 custom EPIC gemstone ecklaces, bone/wood earrings.... aaron has a bunch of GREAT emergency gear/burn gear too....headlamps, solar flashlights, storage solutions, LED lights, harnesses, bags, tools, knives, mulit-tools, and more......you are gonna need it anyway......WHOLESALE PRICES all this and there is MORE i am not even thinking of.... THIS IS ONE STOP SHOPPING FOR BURNING MAN and much more!!! come take it off our hands and give it a new home!! are you psyched yet??! ;)