musings

need help converting files

amrta — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 22:58:03 GMT

Hi friends~ I need to convert some cassette tapes to digital mp3 files so I can play on my computer/ipod, approximately 20-30 of them...and also some dvds that are in Indian format to a usable American format, whatever that is - so I can put some videos up online. I was told of a place in Berkeley for converting the dvds and will go there if I cant find anyone else.. but would rather put it out to the circle of friends if anyone has these skills and equipment/software and wants to make some extra money. Lemme know. Love~~~

Green Baby Expo in Chico tomorrow (Saturday) 10-5

amrta — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 15:52:39 GMT

http://greenbabyexpo.com/default.aspx I'm going to the Green Baby Expo tomorrow. They are having yoga, dancing, drumming, babywearing show, infant massage, home birth discussions, attachment parenting and lots of great vendors. hope to see you there!

Lovin Life~~

amrta — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 18:27:37 GMT

phew..pregnancy is a beautiful thing. As I get closer to the moment of truth with a little one in my arms and the godsent task of being a friend and mother to our daughter, the sparkle and light of being pregnant feels nearly over.. I still have 3 months to go and I'm sure many other spaces to feel into, but the last 6 months have been such a blessing. I sincerely feel it has been a profound blessing to experience the gift of motherhood as I have so far. Carrying life within, feeling the weekly growth of another being held in surrender and love inside my body. feeling her squirm when I lay too much on my belly. Seeing my husband's nose on her in the ultrasound pictures. I love the anticipation of soon discovering the ball of light she is made of. Witnessing her perfection and wonder. Recognizing my own humility and humanity in her transcendent eyes. Being the manifest source of sustenance as she takes form into this world of change. Receiving her gifts. I realize motherhood is not the path taken by many women. And I give thanks that I have been given this opportunity to connect with this new place in myself. To share in the knowing and be supported by other mothers that have taken this journey. To have and to let go. I prayed to Anasuya, the mother of Dattatreya and wife of the MahaRishi Atri. I prayed to become a mother..and I am on my way. I feel so taken care of, and held, and immense gratitude to all the women that have given of themselves to provide for and nurture their children and families. I honor all women that are pregnant at this time as they discover new layers of themselves and courageously enter into the world of protector, nurturer, hand-holder…we are empowered! I am grateful for the unbelievable companion, friend and guide I have in my husband. He tirelessly gives to me and to all those around him, being a beacon of lightness, dedication and wisdom for us to light our paths by. Ooohhh, blessed Mother – thank you for sheltering me and encouraging me to grow up and gain control of myself. I read some years-past journal entries last night and see how the old, dead skin has fallen away over the years. Much time spent in confusion and sorrow. My sorrow is no longer self-pity, but a larger, collective compassion that prays for the health and wellbeing of all beings. Pregnancy has given me the experience of contentment and peace and true happiness I have longed for. If I am no longer pregnant tomorrow, I am grateful for the experience of feeling so full and alive with your divine energy now. Tat Savitur Varenyam Bhargo Devasya Dimahi dhyo yonat prachodayat. Praying to the Sun, the source of all Life on Earth, for your warmth, generosity and goodness.

for Sudeesh, who's bored by everyone's blogs - Rise up people!**

amrta — Tue, 13 May 2008 19:06:20 GMT

Well I am definitely in a mood today, so my advice may come across as dogmatic, but…… we are too dependent on being in control of everything. We rely too much on thinking (Eckhart Tolle calls is “compulsive thinking.” My advice is that you consider you are not being ditsy, you are CREATING A LIFE – and anyone that doesn’t understand, respect or otherwise give space for this freaking beautiful complex phenomenon, is missing out on tapping into the power of creation and consciousness. It’s not just that the blood is flowing from your brain to your womb, psychically and spiritually we are channeling divine energy through us and the small impish brain that most of us haven’t fully learned how to master and utilize anyway, is not the only star of the show on planet earth. Yes, I am justifying my own, uncontrolled monkey mind, but until I start respecting my own process on this journey, who the hell else will? I feel that legions of our women ancestors want us to wake up and live from this empowered place. We are lucky to have the opportunity to be pregnant and birth, many women don’t get the chance in this life and we are being afforded a special opportunity to come into fullness as Shakti. I’ve been feeling great throughout this pregnancy. I love being pregnant. And if it has given me access to anything so far, it’s that I am no longer going to participate in patriarchal/societal complexes that keep Ma-Shakti small and powerless. We are responsible for harnessing the power. /soapbox **in response to someone saying they were feeling ditsy while pregnant.

One of the funniest things about...

amrta — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 20:54:10 GMT

being pregnant so far is to watch people look intently at my belly, trying to determine if I am pregnant. Now I understand why they have those t-shirts that say "yes I am pregnant." it's like this little game the minds of others play.. there was also a t-shirt that said "yes, I'm pregnant, no you cant touch my belly, its a girl!" have only had a couple people reach out and touch me so far..but I imagine as the waddling increases and I keep getting bigger, there will be more reaching. At 4 1/2 months, anyone who knows me already can clearly see I am pregnant, but the unsuspecting are left simply to wonder. This photo shows about how pregnant I am. I do not have any pictures to this point, but when I get 8 or so months I will take some photos.

found a nice PT living situation in Berkeley!

amrta — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 01:02:11 GMT

thanks y'all for the positive vibrations.

somewhere to sleep Mondays and Tuesdays

amrta — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 00:21:46 GMT

Dear friends: I am seeking a place to sleep or a room/studio/apt to rent/share on Mondays and Tuesdays beginning definitely 4/21 & 4/22, and possibly next week for two nights, ongoing through August. Preferably in San Francisco or within 5-10 minute walking distance of BART. I will gladly pay an agreed upon rate if you have an extra room or such scenario. If it means renting a room month-to-month and sharing utilities I am open to that possibility as well. I wont be moving a bunch of my stuff in as I have a primary residence in Nevada City which I will be at when I am not working in San Francisco. Access to a bathroom and kitchen are necessary as well. My days will look like me coming home from work around 7PM, possibly doing yoga/resting and preparing food and then going to bed. I will wake up around 6AM, so realistically, I will hardly be home. Unfortunately right now I am not in a place where I have an excess of time to build community, go out for drinks or do much socializing. I am clean, respectful and responsible. Also, 4 months pregnant, yippee! Any help finding a suitable situation is greatly appreciated. Blessings, Amrita 510/938-1570 durgama@gmail.com

*brand NEW** OctaYome (living structure) available

amrta — Sat, 08 Mar 2008 23:27:53 GMT

We are in possession of a new, *in the box* Yome that needs a home. We decided not to use it so we wish to pass it along. Yomes are a combination of a geodesic dome and yurt. They are tres' cool. here's where ours comes from: www.redskyshelters.com/ Ours is the biggest they have, 256 sq feet with a window in front and two in back. we also got the wooden door and insulated roof. the cost is $4560.-the list price. we already paid over $400 shipping and waited 8 weeks to receive it. now you dont have to do either. let me know if you are interested or know someone that might be. we are in the Nevada City/Grass Valley area and are happy to deliver locally. We need to move this soon...so be in touch 510-938-1570, but tribe mail is fine too. Namaste

butterfly kisses

amrta — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 22:35:53 GMT

I sat down at my favorite Chinatown lunch place (Lucky Creation, go if you’ve never been-it’s the best!) and right away this old man hands me a flyer with a picture of Krishna on it and the words of Ramana Maharshi. Awww..I Iove God’s gentle expressions. Life is Love. Enjoy it. Walking back from lunch I see a van full of dozens of perfectly arranged roses and frantic delivery people sorting through receipts trying to get downtown’s loved ones gifts to them before they are left wondering if they really are loved. I do feel sorry for the (probably most typically) men that feel pressured to “prove their love” with a 50.00 arrangement of roses. Life is a gift. Accept it. It’s days like today when I am struck with an overwhelming appreciation for seeing through the muddy mental confusions we often involve ourselves in. Ever notice how other people’s problems seem so solvable? Well that means so are our own. Life is an opportunity. Take it. Today I made a high-five pact together with my co-worker to expand our ability to have more. How that shows up for me today is in appreciating deeper than the surface situations. The guy that whines and usually bugs me at work comes over and rests his head on my shoulder and says “Happy Valentine’s Day.” I feel gratitude in my heart for his vulnerable act. Life is spirit. Realize it. Celebrating the butterfly kisses in our hearts.

Amma's very short program for the Bay Area has been set..

amrta — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 21:45:12 GMT

San Ramon, CA Public programs November 21-23 Wed-Fri Morning programs start at 10:00 am Evening programs start at 7:30 pm Retreat - Registration details will be available soon November 24-26 Sat-Mon Devi Bhava public program on November 26th, 7:00 pm

Vedic fire ceremony in Berkeley area?

amrta — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 20:57:28 GMT

Namaste Friends. Some of you may know that we were going to have our wedding in Varanasi, but we are now going to be in Berkeley. The reception will be at the Berkeley City Club and I am still looking for a place where we can hold the ceremony. the only sticking point is that we need to have the havan/fire so it should be at a temple with a havan, a park, or someone's back yard (this is my first preference). also, the date is a monday at 11am and that cant be changed either. do any of you wise souls have information on where in Berkeley or very nearby we could have a fire and as little as 20 people but no more than 125 - meaning we are flexible with how many people attend the ceremony versus the reception if there is a limitation on space? any leads, info, ideas, good wishes, strokes of genius or otherwise brilliance is gladly welcome. much love..

Scion's 'craft-my-ride' competition

amrta — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 01:32:23 GMT

http://scion.craftmyride.com/ so cool.

Vege-terrestrial

amrta — Fri, 27 Jul 2007 21:25:10 GMT

hmmm..Chevron reports record profits as gasoline prices soar to $3.49 in California. Interesting correlation. http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/07/27/BUGBPR8CHE6.DTL&tsp=1 Makes me want to go veggie: http://www.noendpress.com/caleb/biodiesel/index.php

the sweet taste of clarity ~ Warrior Mama of Truth

amrta — Tue, 24 Jul 2007 17:34:13 GMT

Clarity. The sweetest taste. Things are muddled, confusing, then….the clouds break and out comes the Sun. Hooray. Deliberating between two desires. I have been attempting to swing and belly dance at the same time. It has been interesting, but difficult because I have not fully surrendered to either. On the one hand, I am a warrior of truth, stopping at nothing to peel back the layers, expose the succulent underbelly of humanity. Calling bullshit as seen. Living close to the bone. I have cultivated a life designed around the value of raw essence at all costs. Beautiful. And then situations and life transpired in such a way that becoming a devoted, pure, faithful wife and mother overcame me. And now I feel faced with the opportunity to surrender into the divinity of one path as a priority. Neither desire/innate aspect of my being will ever go away entirely, but there is a design/form to each that wants to mature. I fully believe that by surrendering at a level I have never known the other will naturally occur and unfold. I will have both and ALL by choosing ONE and going for it. I am thinking of different people in my life that have and are choosing in a similar way. It is a much more real question for women than men, because for me, as a woman, to become a Mother requires complete purity, conscious consumption and purgation, doing what has to be done for the sake of another more important than myself - and I currently live very much in service of my self. At all costs the preparation for carrying and welcoming into this world another soul that for a time is 100% my responsibility – I will take this on with grace, humor, flexibility and total immersion. And other values take a lesser priority during this time. Whichever I choose, I feel strongly about both realities being alive and well in my experience. At some level I will always be a Mother AND a Warrior of Truth regardless, but I am ready to jump off the deep end, or perhaps it is, be swallowed and wholly consumed by the unknown surrender of letting go fully. With this, comes accepting all that sucks and annoys, in support of the greater manifestation of choosing a direction. I feel blessed to have the awareness and fortunate to be offered such extremely beautiful potentialities. -- For a warrior there is no end to the mystery of being, whether being means being a pebble, or an ant, or oneself. That is a warrior’s humbleness. One is equal to everything. ~Carlos Castaneda, The Eagle’s Gift, p. 279

authenticly artfully alive

amrta — Fri, 20 Jul 2007 00:37:24 GMT

I never thought I would be sitting here. I use to draw pictures of unicorns and little girls in the looking glass, in a magical landscape of multi-dimensionality. In my own world. Playing in silence, singing to tunes unwritten and left behind. Are we all dreamers? Some of us are doers. In Bali there is no word for artist because we all are. I find myself wondering what kind of artist I am. Visual artists are pretty easy to spot. Instrumentally, mental instruction flows in color and lines, some medium on some surface. The aural artist, the musician, the singer, producer::::: bridging the world of technological precision and musical pleasing sensatiastic vibrations. Kinesthetic artists. Moving, breaking, making, akashic rhythms, organic and dynamic flowing… ART. Design, collaborative mind, expression, no repression, confessions of our hearts ache and break and space-quake, alive, explosion..subtle softness..layers and densities escape. Verbal execution. I love words, but even more making them up. I want to find my artistry. Self-expression. Speaking the truth. Living in breath. That’s art. Taking care of our hearts. There’s an art involved. An artist, I assert, is one that thoughtfully and authentically gives of themselves through a particular channel. Organizing: a structural artist, cleaning: an environmental artist, observing and witnessing: attentional artists…. oh the places we'll go. There are vast landscapes to play in, to create from, to offer to. And I just know there are others listening. Even if subtly peculiar, falling on deaf ears – no, we are heard. How much is there that we can’t cranially understand? Waves of color beyond the partial spectrum our two, right and left, eyes can see. The third eye, mind’s eye…refraction, lens of bending illuminosity sees deep in to and out to the beyond. Seeing, being, you, me and we-ing.. Ahhhh….there are so many ways to prepare and eat a meal.

Mama protector

amrta — Tue, 10 Jul 2007 16:22:55 GMT

I had a really sad dream about our kitties last night. Lover got swept up by a big tidal wave of water and washed into a contained area with mote, similar to what lions and bears are in at the zoo. He fell a story or two into it and went in circles. I felt he broke his legs. The whole predicament somehow had to do with former housemates and I was angry with them. Then I was carrying around this little folded up piece of paper and knew the kitties were in there. I was waiting to get to some place safe to open it hoping the kitties were alive. I opened the scrap of paper and all that was there was a little corkscrew of thin paper. I woke up and cried aloud pretty intensely for some period, made sure the kitties were safe, kissed their furry foreheads and went back to sleep eventually. Today my eyes are tired and heavy. For a moment I forgot why that could be. I worry so much about them. When they cry and mewl and meow, I want to understand what they are communicating, usually I make up that they want me to hold them so I pick them up, but really that is what I want. :) Most of the time it seems they want to play or need some kind of attention. I was going to go to yoga last night and sat on the floor drawing, kitties in the room with me. When it was time to leave I couldn’t. If we are really connected and I have to go somewhere I often have a hard time leaving and then don’t. I think about parents dropping their kids off at preschool and how the kid cries their eyes out – that must be so hard to leave them, but what other choice is there. Maybe this is part of how a separate identity is formed, from being as one, literally, in the womb to being whisked out of all that warmth and comfortable, albeit cramped, perfectly-shaped embrace. I bet it’s cold at first. I wonder if water births help with the transition process. I thought I was pretty detached from our kittens, but I think the truth is I am quite attached and love that I get to be their Mama and look after them.

I need wedding help!

amrta — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 19:15:50 GMT

Our wedding is 6 months away and I need help coordinating. Anyone have any contacts they can share? It will be pretty untraditional, starting with, ocurring on a Monday, so I need someone that is fresh, creative, and not attached to convention. for example, I dont want any blue or Christmas themes, but emphasizing more warmth and nature and expanding on the traditional Indian ceremony followed by a later in the evening big fun party. thanks for any leads~

Life of a crab

amrta — Wed, 16 May 2007 17:18:30 GMT

The following incident is also a striking illustration of her deep regard for the monastic ideal and the appreciation she had of its value in developing the spiritual life of certain types of aspirants. A young disciple of hers, having made up his mind to adopt the monastic life, went to her for permission to do so. At first she tried to dissuade him from that course and cross-questioned him with a view to knowing his real intentions. But on being convinced of his earnestness, she said, "What is there in the worldly life? What an inordinate attachment people have for it! See how out of one so many come out, and how one's attention and energies are dissipated! is it possible for a person placed under such conditions to attain spiritual greatness? have you not seen crabs? The mother crab peeps out of her hole again and again, and then goes down. She struggles hard repeatedly to free herself, but fails. And Why? Because of her attraction for her numerous progeny living in the hole. this attraction drags her into the hole in spite of all her efforts. Such is the case of those who are immersed in worldly life." Chapter XIV Sri Sarada Devi: The Holy Mother, Swami Tapasyananda

scandalous devotion

amrta — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 21:56:47 GMT

Breathly focused, but elsewhere. a smile, downward even, lower.. tingling, vibrating, new sensations, reverberations bwahhhbwahhh, bohhhnnnng, bwawohnnng, the thumping, bassing, booming the SUN is shining so bright. So much to be thankful for. Light shines out while his forever giving heat-fire doth swathe these love-sick tired eye shields, and singing out with an amplified heart “YOU ARE THE ONE I WANT!” attached to your hotness, chasing after your torrid blaze, ahhhhhhh. Swim in the licking flames, consuming oxygen, that’s our LOVE, creating, making milky-ways hold me, tenderly, wrap my wet longing in your unknown, blessed divine of pure mind, and purer intent, allowing Her wisdom greater than that of the most heroic, spoken-of ones to guide me taking refuge in Her centuries old devotion the gods worshiped Her and could not bemuddle Her deepest surrender. Ha!

satya

amrta — Fri, 30 Mar 2007 19:46:03 GMT

I decided today to start a hand-written spiritual diary again. Swami Sivananda-ji has one online that is very results-oriented, that’s what I love about his style—“sure you made someone laugh or you were nicer than usual to that guy who bugs you, but bottom-line how many chapters of the Gita did you read and how many hours of asana did you sit in?” Swami Sivanada Radha rounds it out a little more in one of her books, I forget which, but basically I want to start accounting for my sadhana, and stating clearly what it is I am working on, partly so I can measure the growth that is occurring and see where I keep banging into the same wall. I think it’s her Kundalini book. What improvements have we made and were did we act in a non-service way? The one that’s hard for me in the workplace is the practice of truth/satya. Always tell the truth. I use to tell the truth about everything all the time and felt that was right and Swami Sivananda stresses the importance of satya. I am learning that truth is not always the best policy, it depends on the circumstances. The question, ‘will it serve all parties by sharing this information?’ comes to mind. I am also learning that not only do I not need to know everything about everything, I would rather NOT know many things that I could otherwise know. I’m talking about vrittis. "Yogas citta vritti nirodha" Yoga is the control of the mental modifications of the mind. Upset causes disturbances. And a lot of people can’t handle the truth and shouldn’t be expected to. I have very few agreements with people where we can speak complete truth to one another. So, exhaling…forgiving myself for making a mistake that caused a lot of hurt for another. Living and learning.

worship of Raja Kali

amrta — Sun, 11 Mar 2007 19:05:36 GMT

Mantra Mahodadhih – trans. Ram Kumar Rai Taranaga Three Now I am describing the Mantras of Kali which immediately gives supernatural powers of speech. These mantras when propitiated bestow upon the Sadhaka the fulfillment of all his cherished desires. The King of Mantras (Raja Kali Mantra) – Two kurca-bijas (hum hum), three Kali-bijas (krim krim krim), two Maya-bijas (hrim hrim), then ‘Daksine Kalike’, then the aforesaid bijas and at the end, svaha together make this mantra which is used in the ritual of subjugation. The Mantra Hum Hum Krim Krim Krim Hrim Hrim Daksine Kalike Hum Hum Krim Krim Krim Hrim Hrim Svaha. Daksine Kalike – this address provides the proximity of the Devi. Svaha – This form is the Universal Mother of the Mantra-world and the destroyer of all sins. Krim Krim Krim – ka-kara. ka gives emancipation, ra is all-brilliance, i is shakti Hum Hum – ha-kara. ha is perfect knowledge, a is Guru, and the bindu is Parama Siva Hrim Hrim - ha is Supreme knowledge, ra is Supreme brilliance, i is Para Shakti, and the bindu is para Brahma Procedure for its experiments The viniyoga, nyasa, dhyana, pujana and purascarana are all like the aforesaid mantra of Daksina Kalika. The number of japas is also one lakh (100,000). This mantra is specifically used for the ritual of Vasikarana (subjugation). Viniyoga – (invocation) hands in prayer Aum Asya Sri Kali mantrasya, Bhairava Rsih, Usnik Chandah, Kali Devata, Hrim Bijam, hum Saktih, Krim Kilakam, Mamabhista-siddhaye (Purusartha catustya siddhaye) Jape viniyogah Rsyadi-nyasa Bhairava Rsaye namah (sirasi) hands touching head Usnik Chandase namah (mukhe) hands touching mouth Kali Devataya namah (hrdi) hands touching heart Hrim Bijaya namah (guhye) hands touching secret place Hum Saktaye namah (padayoh) hands touching feet Krim Kilakaye namah (sarvange) hands touching all limbs Kara-nyasa Aum Kram angusthabyam namah touching forefinger to thumb Aum Krim tarjanibhyam namah touching thumb to index finger Aum Krum madhyamabhyam namah touching thumb to middle finger Aum Kraim anamikabhyam namah touching thumb to ring finger Aum Kraum kanisthikabhyam namah touching thumb to pinky finger Aum Krah karatalakara prsthabhyam namah all over hands (astraya mudra) Anga-nyasa Aum kram hrdayaya namah touching heart Aum krim sirase svaha touching whole head Aum krum sikhayai vasat touching knot/spiral of head Aum kraim kavacaya hum arms crossed in front, loose fists, touching opposite shoulders Aum kraum netratrayaya vausat open thumbs touching opposite closed eyes Aum krah astraya phat all over hands (astraya mudra) After completing all these Nyasas the sadhaka should meditate upon the Goddess Daksina Kalika in the following manner: Dhyana I meditate upon the goddess Kalika who holds in her lower left hand a freshly severed head and whose upper left is in the gesture showing fearlessness; her lower right hand is showing the gesture of granting boons and in the upper right hand she holds a sword. She is wearing a garland of skulls and her hairs are disheveled. From the corners of her mouth blood is oozing out; she lives in the cremation ground; her ears are embellished with two corpses of infants; her complexion is black and she is girdled with a band made up of the hands of corpses. **There are other additional details provided in Mantra Mahodadhih that require many more hours of understanding, practice and then writing on my part. I am not there yet.

inseperable

amrta — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 21:27:08 GMT

CISARUA, Indonesia (AP) -- Call them the odd couples. A pair of month-old Sumatran tiger twins have become inseparable playmates with a set of young orangutans, an unthinkable match in their natural jungle habitat in Indonesia's tropical rainforests. The friendship between 5-month-old female baby primates Nia and Irma, and cubs Dema and Manis, has blossomed at the Taman Safari zoo where they share a room in the nursery. After being abandoned by their mothers shortly after birth, the four play fight, nipping and teasing each other, and cuddling up for a shared nap when they are worn out. "This is unusual and would never happen in the wild," said zoo keeper Sri Suwarni, bottle-feeding a baby chimp on Wednesday. "Like human babies, they only want to play." The four have lived side-by-side for a month without a single act of hostility, she said. Indonesian tigers and orangutans are both endangered species, threatened by rapidly shrinking habitats. Conservationists estimate there are fewer than 700 Sumatran tigers still alive, while fewer than 60,000 orangutans remain in the wild. Around 90 percent of the jungle has been destroyed by illegal logging, poaching and cut-and-burn farming practices on Borneo and Sumatra islands. The exceptional friendship will likely be short-lived, said veterinarian Retno Sudarwati, because as the animals grow up their natural survival instincts will kick in. "When the time comes, they will have to be separated. It's sad, but we can't change their natural behavior," she said. "Tigers start eating meat when they are three months old." http://edition.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/asiapcf/02/28/indonesia.tigers.orangutan.ap/

gentle beauty

amrta — Tue, 13 Feb 2007 01:17:59 GMT

I haven’t written in so long. It’s funny how I feel less moved to write when everything is working and beautiful and smooth and we are so busy, as well. But it is nice to document and share things, to capture moments. I am in a new position at work. In the last year I have had three promotions. One was only a title change, but two involved monetary raises as well. I have Jupiter transiting 7th from Arudha Lagna, astrology works. Hopefully when he goes 8th from AL there will still be so much career prosperity. We will see. Me and my beloved are living together. Kind of have been since we met—well, since we starting being firm in one another’s lives. In December we got engaged while in India. And the wedding date is yet to be set, but will be sometime in 2008—probably in California and probably partly at our house. We have kitties that we are totally in love with. I bet we are going to be so spoiling of our children, but I like to think we will be fair and loving and balanced. Who knows. I am sure all parents have the best intentions, but situations arise and whatnot and then the dynamics change. But it is so beautiful with our kitties—they sleep under the covers with us and purr so loudly, and play and knock stuff over and get hair on my clothes and watch birds and are pure embodiments of spontaneous play. We are blessed to have such beautiful souls to share in our love. Oh, life is such a gift. I feel like I have been given the keys to the kingdom. I still have a lot of purification of habits, thoughts, negative tendencies that I am working on, but I am clearer, more focused, stable in thought, action and speech than I have ever been. I know I owe a lot of credit to my darling one--and to myself for courageously confronting difficult situations and being focused on truth, to the best of my ability. And so it goes…Jaya Jagannatha My wish is that we release fear’s grip, that we exhale longer than inhale and recognize that there’s no need to scramble, compete or stress. To comfortably surrender to the peaceful light that underlies all living and non-living existence. I pray we free ourselves from ‘compulsive thinking’ and BE with the uncertainty that will ultimately lead us to fulfillment and contentment. This is where I want to live and where I am practising from these days. blessings abound..

Gaia Earth Ma

amrta — Wed, 27 Sep 2006 17:19:20 GMT

Oh Goddess, Source of Gods and Mortals, All-Fertile, All-Destroying Gaia, Mother of All, Who brings forth the bounteous fruits and flowers, All variety, Maiden who anchors the eternal world in our own, Immortal, Blessed, crowned with every grace, Deep bosomed Earth, sweet plains and fields fragrant grasses in the nurturing rains, Around you fly the beauteous stars, eternal and divine, Come, Blessed Goddess, and hear the prayers of Your children, And make the increase of the fruits and grains your constant care, with the fertile seasons Your handmaidens, Draw near, and bless your supplicants. ~Orphic Hymn to Gaia~ translated and interpreted by Virginia Stewart, M.Ed.

blessed

amrta — Wed, 14 Jun 2006 18:34:37 GMT

i feel it necessary to thank God and thank the holy Mother of the universe for giving so freely. for showering our lives with all-perfect goodness. sometimes it is the small things (but are there really any "small" things in the universe) like the spider that has perched himself in the corner of our room, curled up, cuddled up inside himself. I dont know why there is such affinity and love for this little guy, but my heart opens in a thousand directions when i look up and see that he has returned to the spot he sleeps at night. during the day he is not there so maybe he is out hunting for food, but at night, every night, he comes home. such sweetness. and then there are the bigger things that happen. like when my lover reminds me of and encourages me toward my real greatness. in a gentle way he ushers me toward that higher vibration- the one he sees me reaching for and he has faith in me and believes in my transcendance. what a gift that is, to have another believe in you and to feel supported to greater heights of awareness and consciousness. May we never take for granted the truth in the eyes of the ones that hold us in that perfection we forget we are made of. God bless those that continue to stand by our side and be a shelter in the wind. Yesterday I spent time with Amma at the ashram. Being in peace by the pond, napping with the swans, connecting with friends, receiving darshan, laughing in Amma's chest. How often do we get to laugh in the arms of the divine, held to her fragrant loving soul of oneness, i got to laugh. i tried not to. I tried to approach her flat, neautral, no smile, just as naked as i could, but then was overcome with joy and a permenant smile. my heart smiles and my face cannot hide the happiness. so i gave and laughed for a year. Lynn was sitting there, her first time to see Amma and as I awoke from the year's passing and made eye contact with beautiful Lynn I knew that i was home again. every moment passing. and every moment a tickle, a taste, a graceful bow welcoming the heart's unfurl. i am just in love. and stir inside with blissful beats of heart, and the circling pranic parade of horses dancing in colorful patterns, while my exterior holds tight and cool, draped on this cosmic sheath. living inside. existing outside.