Deep Thoughts

I've regressed..............

amyv — Sat, 26 Jan 2008 20:41:51 GMT

This has been such a bad couple of weeks. On top of (still) not speaking to my very best friend, today I had to allow my daughter to go for her scheduled visit with her grandmother. I absolutely hate that, particularly because my daughter hates it. Last night, while I was at work, she apparently threw a real temper tantrum (complete with foot stomping) about having to go. I wish there was something I could do for her. It breaks my heart to know what she doesn't want to do, and still having to make her do it. And it's so slow getting this back to court. **sigh** Then, we are so totally backlogged at work right now that it sucks. And it's freezing cold. I work outdoors mostly, which is not always so bad. But last night was bitter cold with wind chills well below zero. I think I'm still partially frozen. So.................I had a backwards slide, and wound up with a pack of cigarettes after 4 months of not smoking. It's terrible. Not to worry too much though, as I've promised myself that this is the last time it will happen. Yuck. They taste awful, and it just isn't the same. I just needed to get that out there as I'm obviously in need of some emotional support today. Or some kind of support.

2 Months, and Loving Life!

amyv — Fri, 23 Nov 2007 14:52:45 GMT

I just had to share the news. I've now been smoke free for 2 months. I'm enjoying it. I feel better, I smell better, and I know it's healthier for my kids. I still have moments when I really want one, like every time I walk into a certain store where I always used to go to buy my smokes. But you know what? I just don't want them. My body craves them, but in my mind they've become disgusting and vile. I'm just imagine that if I lit one up now, it would make me feel sick and lightheaded, and I hate both things. Works pretty well with the cravings. So, I'm celebrating my healthier new life today. Anyone want to join me?

tribe vs. MySpace

amyv — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 15:02:00 GMT

Hmmm....that's a tough call. I remember the only reason I ever created a myspace was during all the tribe changes. When a bunch of us decided that if we were going to leave tribe, we'd go over there. Since then, it's slowly grown on me. Tribe is better in that it's easier to see new posts in your tribes right away. Not to mention the fact that I have much better friends here. But.........MySpace gives you so many more options when it comes to personalizing your profile. I wish tribe would allow us to do that. I'd never bother with anywhere else. P.S.- visit myspace: www.myspace.com/angelbabystar I just added Mario Poker, come play!

Yet another random survey

amyv — Sat, 03 Nov 2007 18:40:52 GMT

Yeah, I was bored................. 1- I'm sure we all know what your name is, so tell us what your boss' name. No boss (yet) 2- Do you actually read your friend's surveys, or do you just copy paste them? I read, then copy and paste 3- Which is your favorite episode of "I Love Lucy"? Vitameatavegimin 4- Tell us your favorite conspiracy theory: I enjoy conspiracy theories in general, don't have a fave. And no, I am not a conspiracy theorist. 5- Do you consider yourself a deep thinker? On occasion, sure 6- Name three people who you are closest friends with? You mean besides me, myself and I? Uh.......................... Rich, Jenn, and Steve (for now) 7- Which one of those three people would you eat first, if you were starving? Ew 8- How many red shirts would you say you own, off the top of your head? Close to a dozen since I worked at Target 9- No one cares whether or not you believe in love at first sight... but, do you believe in hate at first sight? Nope. I've disliked people on sight, but I have to get to know a person before I can say I hate them. Hate's a pretty strong word. 10- If you said yes to the last question, do you think that the reason you are so hateful and judgmental is because you didn't receive enough love when you were a child? Hahahahahah... whatever 11- How old will you be in 2021? 45 12- Would you rather be tone deaf or color blind? tone deaf 13- When do you think is the proper time in a relationship to give the other person your business card? Personally, I think business cards are pretentious 14- When you were a kid, which comic strip was your favorite? Peanuts 15- You can only wear a sock on one foot for the rest of your life... which foot ? How about neither. I'd prefer no socks to only one 16- How many words can you make out of the letters of your name? That depends. First name only: 4 Full name: I don't have the time to figure that out. 17- How do you feel about fake plants? They're ok, but only if you have one or 2 small ones. Otherwise they're gaudy, and they just collect too much dust. 18- What is your obsessive compulsion? I tend to count steps as I walk up and down. No idea why, I've just done that since I was a kid. Maybe I'm OCD. 19- What do you think the odds are of the person who posted this before you becoming a rock star? Uh.........well, I guess since she's my sister she won't get too mad if I say none. As far as I know she's never wanted to be one. 20- Do you know what the heck the difference is between the statements "we're just dating" and "we're together"? You mean there are people who don't? 21- When you think, do you see the words that you are thinking in your mind, as if they were being written down. Nope 22- If a person is brought up speaking both Spanish and English in equal amounts and equally fluent, which language do they think in? I guess it would depend on which one they consider to be they're native language. 23- Does it make you uncomfortable when people ask you your shoe size? I don't think I've ever been asked my shoe size. 24- Would you feel guilty about cheating on your taxes if you got away with it? I'd love to say no, but yeah, I would. 25- You are walking on the beach when suddenly you find a genie lamp. You rub it and out pops the genie. He proclaims that he is so thankful to you for letting him out after thousands of years that he gives you three wishes. What do you wish for? Hmm......I don't know. I believe in the saying "be careful what you wish for." Can I get back to you on that? 26- If you had braces, would you put little diamonds on your brackets and call them your "grill"? Oh god no. What am I, a 17 year old ghetto witch wannabe? 27- You have 24 hours to live... what are you going to wear?!?!? Uh.......... If I only have 24 hours to live, the last thing I'm going to care about is what I'm wearing. 28- Which is worse... someone blowing cigarette smoke in your face, or kissing with dip in their mouth? Dip is just gross, and since I quit smoking, I'd hate smoke blown in my face, so they're equally bad. 29- Had you ever answered any of these questions before? Nah, these were new ones for me.

What a feeling

amyv — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 02:01:44 GMT

So, it took me 12 years to get to this point but I finally decided to quit smoking. It's only been 4 days so I know that I've got a long, hard road ahead of me. I've always known what the helath benefits of quitting would be, not just for me but for my kids as well. But what I'm finding amazing is how much better I feel about myself already. It's like my confidence and self-esteem have just shot way up on the meter. I feel like I've rediscovered the girl I used to be, long before I ever started that filthy habit in the first place. I almost feel invincible.

It's Halloween

amyv — Wed, 01 Nov 2006 02:09:07 GMT

And here is a picture of my kids in their costumes. My son was a fisherman, though he eventually gave up on carrying the net, and wearing the hat. For that matter, after 3 hours, he gave up on even trick or treating. But they had fun. :-)

Nothing feels better..........

amyv — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 18:25:07 GMT

than doing something good for someone else. In the process of switching out all of the warm and cold weather clothes, I managed to fill 2 giant trashbags with clothes that my kids have outgrown. And, I'll admit, at least a few outfits that someone else bought for my daughter that were just absolutely hideous. And what am I going to do with those bags? Unlike many people I know who would just set them on the curb for trash day, I'm going to put them in my local dlothing donation bin. If that helps out some needy kids, then I feel good. I've been there, having to live off of someone else's charity, and I always return the favor.

Don't you just hate it when............

amyv — Thu, 28 Sep 2006 20:37:54 GMT

you go to all the trouble to find something of interest, and post it in a tribe, then no one responds to it? I mean, hello, did you even bother to read it?

Poetry for the soul

amyv — Fri, 16 Jun 2006 02:34:22 GMT

Many of you don't know that I write poetry, and to date have had my work included in 3 anthologies. Well, this is one of my favorites, that I wrote for my kids, and I suddenly felt like sharing it. I'll Be There Watch for me in the sunset, Listen for my footstep on the stair, Search for me in the shadows, Have faith that I'll be there. When you're terrified and lonely, When your world begins to tear, When your faith is being broken, Call for me, I'll be there. Tell me that you love me, Say that you no longer care, Tell me that you need me, Believe me, I'll be there. Don't lock away your secrets, There's nothing we can't share, When your friends have deserted you, Trust in me, I'll be there. Through space and time untold, No matter what, no matter where, When you really need me, Just look, and I'll be there.

My turn to play

amyv — Fri, 16 Jun 2006 02:18:10 GMT

"Please leave a one-word comment that you think best describes me -- it can only be one word long. Then copy and paste this in your journal so that I may leave a word about you."

I'm going slowly insane

amyv — Sat, 15 Apr 2006 13:09:59 GMT

Because I've got 5 kids in my house. My 2, and my 3 nephews. My only thought..............how soon is my sister coming to pick up her brats? LOL

Thought for the day

amyv — Fri, 07 Apr 2006 01:50:06 GMT

People are like Slinkies. You just can't help but smile when one of them tumbles down the stairs.

Thought for the day

amyv — Thu, 09 Mar 2006 21:15:41 GMT

I received this on my cell phone yesterday, and I thought it was worth thinking about. "If Batman is so smart, why does he wear his shorts outside his pants?" Maybe it's silly, but I just love fun things like that to ponder. :)

I feel so bad!

amyv — Wed, 18 Jan 2006 22:12:42 GMT

Ok, so, as so many of my friends know, last week was my birthday. And I was quite upset, because my own father forgot about it. I distinctly remember saying something like "What kind of parent could forget their own child's birthday?" Well........I have a confession. Today is my sweet baby boy's birthday, and guess who forgot about it? That's right, I have to eat my words, because apparently, I am that kind of parent. In my defense, I've been through a tough week, and it's only getting tougher. Yeah, I could say that since he's only 3 he doesn't have a clue, but that's no excuse either. I feel like the worst parent in the world. Now I'll just have to make the party I'm throwing in honor of both of our b-days next weekend extra special for him. :)

Feeling so bad

amyv — Thu, 05 Jan 2006 15:16:23 GMT

What's worse than being home, and no one is online to chat with? Being home sick, and having no one online to chat with, to get sympathy from. Yuck. I've been sick for the last 4 days, since Jan 1st, actually. Talk about a bad way to begin the new year. I'm miserable, and achy, and just feeling awful.

Tribe censorship SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

amyv — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 14:59:02 GMT

What gives anyone the right to determine what we can say, or what pictures we can post on our tribes or profiles? Isn't that what our First Amendment protects? I always thought it did. Now we constantly have to think about Big Brother breathing down our necks, or make everything private. That means we can't share with everybody, only a select few. That's not only censorship, it's discrimination as well. There ought to be laws against this sort of thing.

Cold sucks!!!!!!!!!

amyv — Wed, 07 Dec 2005 05:26:15 GMT

It's 29 degrees outside, and I'm freezing. The obvious question: why don't I move to a state that's warmer?

Christmas is coming

amyv — Sun, 27 Nov 2005 16:15:53 GMT

Christmas is coming soon, and I still don't know if I want it to. Going on 4 years without my mom, and that makes Christmas very bittersweet for me. It's so hard to keep the traditions going with my kids, when she's not around to share them.

Help I'm addicted.................

amyv — Tue, 30 Aug 2005 00:42:40 GMT

to Casino Empire. This game has replaced Roller Coaster Tycoon as my fave pc game. Scary, I know. It's so much fun to manage the casinos, and eventually run every one on the Vegas strip. I'm so addicted, I've actually got one of my casinos up over 6 million in cash, with no end in sight!

Why does he lie?

amyv — Mon, 25 Jul 2005 05:27:45 GMT

So, once again, I seem to be in the same position. My fiance decides that because we've been having problems, that it's ok to talk to other girls and try to set up dates with them. What's worse is that if I didn't have his permission to look in his email for a picture I'd sent him that I no longer have, I never would have found out about all of this. Why do I ever put up with any of this stuff, and why do I keep winding up with guys like this?