I had this magical dream a couple of years ago and I realized that it relates directly to some trouble I have been having embracing my femininity.. Duh, right? Well here it is I thought I would share it since it was so vivid and CLEAR as to it's meaning.. At least to me anyway... what do you think?

It starts out with myself standing at the bottom of a small mountain. On the mountain (taking up it's side in entirety) is the visage of a terrifying goddess. Her eyes are squeezed shut and a terrible scowl mars her features. Then I notice that there are tribe’s people (ya know, loin clothes, spears, small and tan) striding up and down the mountain thrusting their spear in the face of this 'monster'. I start running to them one by one, begging them to stop before they wake it up. I was TERRIFIED. They don't listen and just kind of ignore me, continuing to stomp and shout and shove their spears in to the face of the mountain. I realize then that they are TRYING to wake it up. All of a sudden a rumbling shudders through the mountain and the eyes start to open and I can hear a roaring. Again, I am TERRIFIED. BUT, as soon as the eyes open, my perspective shifts and all I can see is the face, that is now the most loving and beautiful goddess I have ever seen shining directly at me. Even now years after this dream I am overwhelmed by the powerful love, peace and radiance in that gaze.

What I took from this is that the very essence of that which I doubt and am afraid of within myself is in fact the most beautiful and powerful aspect of myself. And the tribe’s people poking and prodding are life's experiences pushing me to wake up.. While I moan and complain in objection and fear, surrender is what I truly need to undertake. In my life I have always wanted to be the soft and supple female archetype. I know I am not that but rather, I am a powerful warrior goddess, all sharp edges and sinew. A fact that has both depressed and exhilarated me in my life.. Where will I find a man that is un-intimidated by the authentic me in all my muscle, brashness and spunk? Yet, if I do find him, won't he be FANTASTIC? Will he see and be equally equipped to handle the paradoxical and infinitely tender core to me that wants to be nurtured and protected despite my tough exterior? The answer is YES, of course.. This dream tells me that it is OK to reveal my love. That there is equal, if not greater power in the full expression of love as well as might. And that no matter how much I kick and protest, life will have its way with me anyway, so why not surrender? The feeling I had when the goddess awoke was of the most profound love I have ever felt and If that's what I can be if I allow it, I say bring it on!!

xoxo~Anah