Arclight: The Chronicles of Arcangel

Rock Star...Or, How I was a Singing Sensation for 10 Minutes!!

arcangel — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 17:02:46 GMT

So, it was a Friday Night here in South Florida and it had been raining earlier in the evening. The weather was similar to what you would expect arounf here in the summer time...kind of on the humid side...or maybe it was just me getting re-use to the way the weather is around here. It was a night I really wasn't thinking of doing anything...basically I just wanted to stay in and Condo-Sit for my Sister while she was out of town for a week. Yeah... just me, a Siamese Cat named "Ming", a Saltwater tank of Exotic Ocean Beasties, Satellite TV and a stack of DVD's. What could be better...when all you want to do is just have sometime to yourself? Just as I was getting settled in with a Pizza I had ordered from a local joint (Pizza Rustica, a small hole in the wall place that makes kick ass pizzas!), a couple of bottles of Guiness, Ming who would NOT stop harrassing me for some of my food and I was about to put a DVD on, my cell phone rings. It's my friend Antonio who is the Manager at a friend of mines bar across the way. He says to me "Dude, you are back in town! You need to come over cause we are having kareoke night and the place is getting crowded! And you need to get out and have some fun!" I was really not feeling it, still feeling kind of depressed and wanting to just be by myself, but Antonio would not take no for an answer. I said I would think about it and maybe....just maybe come over there. "Cool" After ending the conversation, I started watching what was on TV. eating pizza, drinking my beer. All of a sudden I look over a Ming The Merciless and he proceeds to stare at me and Meow-Cat talk to me....I was pretty sure he was saying "Dude! What's wrong with you? You need to get out of her, go down stairs and over to the bar! If I could? I would go and bring some of my Fine Lady Cats with me too...MEeee-Owwwww!! Know what I am saying?" It made sense, ya know? So I got up, put the beer & pizza in the fridge, quickly got ready I threw on a pair of my favorite Jeans, a Black T-shirt and my Black boots and headed on over to The Bar My Friends bar is a small place located in an upscale strip mall next to a very pricey "Southern Philly Style" Italian Restaurant which attracts a lot of affluent snow birds during the winter and spring when they are down here in the area and living in their High Rise Condos along the beach. The place is Cigar and Wine Bar that is small, but roomy enough for a lot of people...you would never know that it was the size it is from outside. It attracts a variety of people...locals who like to hang out and talk to the really nice bartenders, people who come from the beach, people who are in town for the Winter Season and people just there to enjoy really good wines or a few of the imported beers on tap or in the giant fridge and/or smoke quality cigars too (I like to do the later two...drink a beer or two and smoke cigars). There is also another bar just down the way that attracts a more...locals type of crowd and a lot of times people walk back and forth. When I got to the place my friends Antonio, Kate, Joy and Durly were all there and they were happy to see me again. This was the first time that I had seen everyone together since I before I had left for Los Angeles. it felt nice to be back among friends and people I knew and liked and cared about. I noticed that there was not only a pretty good gathering of people at the bar, but that the crowd was in a good mood too. It was Kareoke Night which the bar held on occasion and what with it being Spring Break and the Snow Birds were in town....you get the picture...people were acting pretty boistrous! In addition to the Kareoke Machine there was also a House Band...and they were called...The House band, literally...ha, ha! It was a Boyfriend/Girlfriend Couple, the Boyfriend play Guitar and the Girlfriend played the Bass. So, once I had taken a seat at on one of the couches (The couches and chairs in this place are really comfortable and overstuffed...the perfect pieces of furniture to go well with a nice neighborhood trendy-sorta Lounge/Bar) and I got to talking with my friends and catching them up on everything that had transpired in my life since I had left the area. Antonio and Kate, both being the bad influences that they are on me promised that if I did at least two karoke songs in front of the crowd that was in the bar..they would take care of whatever I was drinking for that night! (****The sound of a needle being scratched aross a record being played****) Ok, lemme back up here for a second. This was not the first time I had Kareoked at The Bar, I had done so numerous times in the past. When I have done certain songs before in the past? Songs like "Break On Through", "LA Woman" and "People Are Strange" by The Doors, "Ring of Fire" By Johnny Cash, "Friends In Low Places" by Garth Brooks or "I Want You To What Me" by Cheap Trick I give it my all..I don't scream out the words off key, I don't make people wanna pelt me with Olives, Ice cubes or Bottles, I try my best to sing from the heart and sing the song well, like the way it was meant to be. I have even had people look at me with utter shock and surprise afterwards and then say "Wow!! Well Done!!" I even through in a bit of character and performed a little too each time. Always it was a lot of fun and a lot of laughs too. I give it some thought...I mean, come on! Free drinks for the night...if I sang a few songs? How difficult could THAT be!?! Well a little insight into my personality....I can sometimes be THE most quiet and the most shyest person you will ever know! Very low key and unassuming. I can also be THE most outgoing and talkative person in a group or setting depending on the circumstances (it also sometimes helps if I have some social lubrication...ie...Alcohol! LOL!! Not a lot, not to the point where I am falling down drunk...but just enough to bring out that "Devil May Care" type attitude!) So, I am thumbing through the song Catalog of all the songs that are available....there is some pretty good stuff listed too. Song Rock Artists, R&B, Country, even some rap too. And as I am listening to everything that is going on around me....my friends talking to me and telling me about what's new in their lives, some of the people carrying on conversations and laughing, the House Band playing some sort of tune...thinking, this is nice to be here. I come across a couple of songs that may be contenders for the Evening too. In order to up the anti of the nights events, Antonio, being the loud person that HE is. Goes behind the bar and announces: "Ladies! Ladies! And everyone else here...tonight! We have a special guest who has returned from Los Angeles, CA! Back by popular demand we have our very good friend John here who will be performing a few songs this evening!! Let's give him a round of applause!!" Everyone on the bar turns to look at ME and a group of Ladies at the end of the Bar start clapping and cheering I was completely and utterly stuck now! I was trapped...like a caveman who has been surround by a pack of Dire Wolves...what was I supposed to do!?!? Well I couldn't back down now....the gauntlet was thrown and I had to do what I had to do! Luckily enough I had already selected 2 songs I pretty much knew I was going to sing "Scars" by Papa Roach and "Break On Through" by The Doors. I had sung the song "Break On Through" many times before in the past...this evening...it was going to be different I got up from the thick overstuffed leopard printed couch I was on.....I turned to my friends and said "Excuse me ladies" They laughed and cheered me on. They were my Hottie Cheering Section I approached the House Band and asked them if they knew how to play "Scars" Jake and Liza said "Yeah, no problem and that is a killer song too!" So I took the wireless microphone went to the mini-stage, the bar lights shining bright on me everyone in the Bar quieted down. I could hear my own breathing and my heart thumping in my ears....you know, like in those TV Shows and Movies? Where things slow down and you hear a heartbeat and the characters breathing? Yup! that's how I was kind of feeling!! I looked at everyone before me and showing NO fear...I quietly cleared my throat, smiled and looked over at the Band and nodded my head.... One Two Three And I sang! And it went like THIS! I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut My weakness is that I care too much And my scars remind me that the past is real I tear my heart open just to feel Drunk and I'm feeling down And I just wanna be alone I'm pissed cause you came around Why don't you just go home Cause you channel all your pain And I can't help you fix yourself You're making me insane All I can say is I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut My weakness is that I care too much And our scars remind us that the past is real I tear my heart open just to feel I tried to help you once Against my own advice I saw you going down But you never realized That you're drowning in the water So I offered you my hand Compassions in my nature Tonight is our last stand I'm drunk and I'm feeling down And I just wanna be alone You shouldn't ever come around Why don't you just go home? Cause you're drowning in the water And I tried to grab your hand And I left my heart open But you didn't understand But you didn't understand Go fix yourself I can't help you fix yourself But at least I can say I tried I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life I can't help you fix yourself But at least I can say I tried I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life Not only did I at one point jump UP on the end of the bar!! But I had people singing the chorus of the song with me too!! I totally rocked and I totally sang this song the way it was meant to be heard! Even people who were walking by outside came into see what the ruckkus was all about with the ladies cheering and the band playing and me hitting the notes the way I did. Jacoby Shaddick, the lead singer of Papa Roach would have been proud! HA!! For 10 whole minutes I knew what it felt to be like a Rock Star! I was a Singing Legend...well...at least in my own mind I was... But it was SO much fun! I even inspired other people to give Kareoke a shot, which made me smile After being down for so long and feel out of sorts....I felt good being back with my friends and meeting some new and fun people that evening too.

South Florida

arcangel — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 06:44:48 GMT

Some of you may have noticed by now that that little section over on my Profile....the one that says "Location"? Yeah, that one. It says that I am in Miami, FL! Well, it's true...unfortunately, I have had to relocate back to the South Florida/Ft. Lauderdale-Miami area. What the hell happened, you ask? After spending eight and a half months out in the Los Angeles/Southern California area...a place I truely enjoyed and loved living in...things on a personal level had spun completely, irrevocably and utterly out of control for me. You know that "Sound" you hear? That one particular sound when you are busy at work or are outside say enjoying a nice lunch with some friends and your back is turned to the street or your view is obstructed somehow...and you hear the sound of someone slamming on their breaks...there is that long drawn out screeching sound of rubber as the driver slams on the brakes...and JUST before...the car crashes into another vehicle, the one it was trying to avoid? You get that feeling...that horrible feeling of "Oooooo, that is going to be a bad car crash!" And then....BANG!!! You hear both or several vehicles crash. You don't even need to look to know that it is a horrible accident with carnage all over the place! Yeah...that's the feeling I was left with when I had to leave Los Angeles....a place I literally made a Life changing move for (Trust me, it ain't all that easy to pick and move 3, 500 miles away!), thought I could settle down and be happy in (which for the most part? I was VERY happy!) and be with someone I cared deeply for. Was it all Doom and Gloom while living in Southern Cali? No not at all...Los Angeles is a place like NO other in the World. It occupies a space in the Universe truely all it's own! The people were all very nice for the most part (Although you came across the occasional rude asshole with a major attitude...but then that's anywhere you go..and the Crazy Homeless people were all over the place too), the city and the county of LA is so much fun to be in, the weather was pretty nice most of the time (There were a few times when it was REALLY Hot and a few times when it was REALLY cold!!). I also loved all the icons and landmarks in the city that have appeared in so many Movies and TV Shows and then there was the culture. I truely loved LA! However, some of the things I went through on a personal level while lving there were heart wrenching and heartbreaking. The kind of stuff that crushes your inner spirit and can make you just want to shut down, tune everything out and not function for a while (sometimes I envy Computers for having that sort of ability, don't you?). Yes, it IS true that I was not the only one who experienced these things. But I was the one who had little or no support whatsoever and it made things much, much worse for me on an emotional level. With the exception of a few friends I could talk to (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE and if you are reading this? I Thank you with all my heart! Thank you for being there for me and listening too!), all of which were far away, I had no one to talk to and express how I felt in person. So, needless to say I had to internalize everything (I think that I have buried these feelings so far down that it is going to take some time for them to rise to the surface...you know, kind of like a giant air bubble trapped in the La Brea Tar pits..slowly rising to the surface...blubb, blubb, blubb) I was also very saddened at the way a relationship I was involved in ended on such a horrible note too. One of...no, make that ..THE main reason... why I moved to Los Angeles was to be with a person I cared about deeply about. A person I wanted to have a future with, to travel and experience new things with, to have that certain special someone that made Life worth living for and made me happy. Sadly, that was not to be and I was forced into making the decision to move back to South Florida. So. Here I am. I am now officially back here in South Florida. The Land of Sand, Sun and Bullets The Land of The Dead The State that messed up the 2000 Election and allowed George Bush to be elected I think I am going to be here for just a little while longer, but...I hope to eventually make my way back to The West Coast and Live in the Los Angeles area sometime in the near future You know, some people say that you shouldn't Blog here on Tribe That this website is filled with to much drama and that to Blog or share your thoughts is wrong. I completely disagree and I am hoping that this Blog is just the beginning of a series of what I hope will be entertaining Commentaries and Observations brought to you by your Friendly Neighborhood Arcangel

Learning And Growing

arcangel — Thu, 07 Dec 2006 14:04:59 GMT

Recently a very good friend of mine shared this with me and I liked it so much that I thought I would post it in my Blog here. It goes like this..... After a while you learn the subtle difference Between holding a hand and chaining a Soul And you learn that Love doesn't mean leaning And company doesn't mean security And you begin to learn that Kisses aren't contracts And presents are not promises And you begin to accept defeats With your head held up and your eyes open With grace of a person, not the grief of a child And you learn to build your roads On today, because tomorrows ground Is too uncertain for plans, and future has Away of falling down in mid-flight After a while you learn that even Sunshine Burns if you get too much So! You plant your own Garden and decorate Your own Soul instead of waiting For someone to bring you flowers And you learn that you really can endure That you really are strong And you really do have worth And you learn and you learn With every Hello and Good-bye you learn