You are all that will ever be
The beginning
The last
You make your happiness
You make your pain
All else is illusion
You have no control
Over others
You attempt it with actions attached to a specific outcome
Let go
Don't run
Face it
This lifetime
Face aaaall of it
Accept the pain
Accept that you have the power to steer through it and live
Be prepared to die for this freedom
This path of liberation
And realize you are indestructable
Live through it and be proof
Stop running
Stop hiding
Stop looking for ways to avoid pain
Growth is never fuzzy and comfy
Face your deepest horrors
Smile
Be

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain

If any of you are interested....There's a hoop making workshop this sunday at the beach and the cost of the workshop and supplies is super super cheep! Check it out! I am soooo there!

Hoop Making Gathering this sunday!!
33 views since posting on Thu, July 24, 2008 - 11:02 AM Date & Time: Sunday, July 27, 2008 more on this date
3:00 PM

The wait is over! Come join us to make hoops for summer jams or burningman. There'll be sunshine, beach, music and good vibes. Bring your beautiful self and let's exchange hoop making tips!

Supplies will be provided. $5-10 per hoop donation is appreciated. Please RSVP.

Location is at the triangular patch of grassy area between Bay St. and Ocean Ave in Santa Monica.

Wow! Last two days have been amazing for me. Tuesday evening I got out on the board and went for a skate. Made it down to Venice beach in time for the sunset and a great skate. Had a very powerful phone conversation with a friend. My God that sunset and the cloud striations that decorated it were heart stopping.

I am so lucky to live near this beach. Then on top of it all I went to a kirtan on the way back at the old hare krishna temple on Rose; totally unplanned but friends I had ran into on my way out to my skate had asked me to join them. Nothing like skating in the perfect light of the falling sun with the perfect breeze dancing on one's skin with the perfect amount of bliss being expressed where ever you look and later having that high vibration raised even higher by the chanting of krishna devotees.

It was just one layer after another of bathing in deliciousness. That sunset. That breeze...I can already feel the playa calling me urgently and yet celebrate its elements here on my own beach. You know that point in the morning on playa where the sun is out but it hasn't quite developed any heat and the breeze is gently dancing through in small sensuous gusts that keep hitting your upper arms and the back of your neck and your cheeks and the sides of your legs, each time feeling as if it were the first, gentle cool (not cold), soft, caressing...playa softening its quality even further with its talc-like nature and its deep, poweful and comforting scent uninterupted by movement or the scent of anything else while the city sleeps.

Then last night I decided to get out on the blades. Headed out a little before 11PM destined for the beach that same sexy pulsating breeze entwining and unraveling itself with me. I found an even smoother and more interesting path between my neighborhood and the the Venice boardwalk where I could warm up and really get into the zone. My ipod shuffle loaded with more than enough music to half skate half dance my way to the beach. I keep fine-tuning my music collection on the shuffle to shift my source of motivation. Last night it was a Sh&t load of super sexy MSTRKRFT songs sincopated by some really juicy techno. It was sooo perfect. I decided to head down the bike path in the direction of the Venice pier and that definitely was the most brilliant choice I could have made.

It was quiet and dark, lit only by a few dim street lights and the blueish moon light. That path is so freaking sexy at night. The blue light. The smoothest part of the bike path. The snaking curves that are accented by the sand banks and waist-high concrete walls...You can just that much more intensely feel the negative G's and sensuality of the turns and the way they shape your body and its movement; compressed into the turns and the surrounding blue-lit lunar landskape. Everything becomes about curves and the rolling. It just makes you want to tear your clothes off. I swear if there were a way to skate and have sex at the same time, I would. At points along the path you are at the exact same height as the tide so you can simultaneously feel yourself in the turns, feel your wheels rolling and watch the tide rolling wave after wave along with you.

I went down to the Venice pier and skated up it and down to its end which was like a personal roller rink accented with Mexican fishermen and their families. I entered and began to skate the circle just as a mother inspired her children to run the circle that called to me too; the waves dancing boyant and dark and velvet-like around our little round world. That breeze and moonlight still oh so perfect. I couldn't get enough so I left the pier enjoying my music and headed toward the Santa Monica pier.

That really really made me appreciate the Venice side of the bike path because as soon as I got beyond the grassy area that separates the two beaches the path became uneven and rough, more challenging, less glide and more maneuvering. I really wanted to get into a sprint but the uneven patches of concrete made it challenging. It did get sexy again when I hit one of the few turns in that area and found a sprinkler that was busted and was sending a super fine mist over the path. My body said go into it so I did. Too perfect, a wall of soft, super-fine mist. The moon light still perfect and the path briefly improving I headed on. I wonder why on that part of the path that the only really smooth section is over by the Hotel Casa del Mar? But it's smoothness encouraged me on as did the amazing new lights on the ferris wheel. And just when I thought I was going to stop I found myself pulled through the passage under the pier by the oh so familiar hum of large film production generators.

I can't decide if it's a hum or a drone. But it's something that gives me a good feeling. It reminds me of some of my first work in film, night shoots as an extra on the film Strange Days. I do miss those days of working on set above or below the line, talent or production. By now my body was telling me enough was enough. I gawked at the film shoot for a few minutes to rest my body. I spoke with one of the security people and found out that they were shooting an episode of believe it or not....90210. I found it hillarious since years ago I used to work on the original series doing background. My body still urging me home and yet feeling not quite strong enough I started my trek home. By now my right ankle and even my toe joints aching dully, my stride and glide somewhat impaired. I still needed to burn a little energy off so I did sprints in a few of the parking lots along the way especially one that according to a holistic healer and friend is situated between two lay lines so I could recharge. And just as a little shamanic ritual I headed back down towards Venice pier to that portion of the bike path level with the tides and did some medtation with the rolling waves. Finally I reached Rose and again found my newly discovered route and headed for home. I'm amazed I found it again due to a few unusual turns. I arrived home, stretched and then just layed on our hard wood floor feeling gravity and enoying my bliss. I had skated non-stop for about 2 1/2 hours.

This morning only added to all this. Last night I inspired my housemates and dear friennds Sarah and Karen to commit to meeting in the early morning for yoga, something we could do regularly to support each other in our practice and give life to the Dharma of our household which is a yoga themed house. I feel so great I think this is going to be my regimen: yoga in the morning and skating at the beach at night. I think I may mix it up between the blades, my board, & some quads I have laying around. In a nutshell, despite all else challenging my heart and mind and soul I feel pretty fanfuckingtastic.

It will be even better when we finish our yoga platform in the back yard. Not only for the yoga but for dancing. I got this idea after last Sunday. Me and my housemates and some friends that had gone to GLOW were still awake and chitchatting with each other and the other housemates who by now were awake. I stared "djing" with my procured copy of djing software and people started telling me how great the music was and dancing their asses off. I couldn't believe in my bleary state that I was totally delivering on creating what we had not had at the prior night's event. And it gave my an idea...we should be doing this on Sunday mornings anyway and it'll be even better once the platform I'm helping build is finished. In fact my idea for teaching some form of shamanic/cerimonial magick/5 rhythms might have to start right here in my own back yard. Yeah, I'm pretty damn blessed.

peace in.

When one lives with concepts one never learns. The concepts become static. You may change them but the very transformation of one concept to another is still static, is still fixed. But to have the sensitivity to feel, seeing that life is not a movement of two separate activities, the external and the inward, to see that it is one, to realize that the inter-relationship is this movement, is this ebb and flow of sorrow and pleasure and joy and depression, loneliness and escape, to perceive nonverbally this life as a whole, not fragmented, nor broken up, is to learn.
--Krishnamurti

The important question for me is, is the body a source for creating, for realizing yourself, for realizing what life is all about? You ask this question and you go where it takes you and then you ask another question and then again you follow. So this understanding of the body, of the unity within the body and the innumerable areas which it reveals to you is what I call realization.
--Chandralekha