A Thousand Words: Finale

www.flickr.com/photos/ali...6707576628/
The pictures tell it all. Health, happiness, familial wealth. Thanks for all the prayers and well-wishes.

A Thousand Words: Four

A Thousand Words: Three

We're sprouting wings on or about 08/08/08. See you in the clouds, up past number nine.

A Thousand Words: Two

With a satisfying 'thud' I close this tome I've been reading these long years. Capitalizing on my inertia, I open the next at Alta Bates' ICU next month.

A Thousand Words: One

Basked in gracious love from _every_ angle, he left us.

In our civil war...

We have seen death. We've watched our people die, gone forever. As terrible as it was, beyond the reach of the resurrection ships, something began to change. We could feel a sense of time, as if each moment held it's own significance. We began to realize that for our existence to hold any value it must end. To live meaningful lives, we must die and not return. The one human flaw that you spend your lifetimes distressing over; your mortality is the one thing that makes you whole.

-Caprica 6, Battlestar Galactica

Baby sister got hitched!

I wrote this for my amazing and beautiful sister, Anne's wedding. It was late last month and she's still off on Vieques with her great new husband, Jeff. Hope you guys are having a blast! xoAsh

This is a Compact of Light, Collaboration and Flight

To Catalyze positive change.
To Validate earnest efforts in spite of outcomes.
To Chance spontaneity and light hearts in the face of inevitable tedium.
To Open hearts and minds, inward and outward.
To _Be_, silently at times, in love.

To Strive to lift each other stronger and lighter, higher and brighter; being great, spanning wings to one another.
To Choose confidence for a daring leap into space, and instead of _ever_ wondering if, like Icarus, you'd fall, you fill immediately with this new breath of life.

These new wings catch the air and carry you ever higher.
Colors and broad vistas explode richer, brighter and deeper.
The wind is rich and warm and fresh on your faces as you soar.
An beside you there, and within, the greatest beauty of all: LOVE.

{*Everyone*! Let's all of us breathe this in! It's special air here, now. _This_ is for real.}

Flying, these two partners inspire, heal, lead and represent us. We are shown a great way to be and to live.
Their's is an epic union which thickens the fabric and strengthens the seams of _all_ of our families and communities.
It adds color and movement.
It adds laughter and light.
Is is a breath of fresh air.
These two _are_ Synergy., Care., Healing., Joy., and Love.

{Let's all of us, together, take another moment to inhale this glow that we are so blessed to be celebrating. Anne and Jeff, thank you so much.}

Happy happy birthday birthday!

Sri Guru Hotrod, the dog, has turned 15 years old! That's 105 in 'dog-years', thank you very much! He started the day early, polishing off a plate of ground beef and drinking plenty of dog-water. Then, a luxurious cuddle with the boy. He sends his fondest regards and deepest blessings. Thanks, to all of his friends, for constituting this amazing cloud of love that he's walked on for these past 9 years since we got together. We're the luckiest boy-dog alive.

Animal Magic!

A hummingbird heralded a deep paradigm shift for Ash today... For the first time ever a humming bird flew into my house! He hummed around a little before hovering in front of Hilary's face. I instinctively opened the window, and after a moment, he flew back outside. Just then Hilary felt the baby moving around! I had my hands on her belly just in time to feel a surprising jab from within! The hummingbird announced a whole new relationship to me. No longer an abstract concept, deep within a swelling but still familiar belly, but now a little dancer! A dancer with feet, for sure!

Then... Hotrod and I just spent some really deep QT. He had a rough night a couple days ago, but last night he was great. I had the most lovely, deep, eye-gazing/psychic boy-dog lovemaking with my 105 year old animal familiar. I've discovered the joys of ground beef. He's a big fan an so far eats readily when there's that stuff involved. I've been boiling chicken thighs for his for about 2 years, just to get him to eat. He's started to turn his nose up at that, even. The beef, though, he eats it up. Anyway, after a good day yesterday, smelling all fresh and soft from a bath the night before he came and say facing me, in front of me. I used to take this behavior to mean that he knew I was leaving and he wanted to come. Last night I just sat with him and we were both intent to gaze lovingly into one another's eyes. He rarely wants to go anywhere anymore, so I just sat with him. We had a great long rapport, to go with our great, long rapport. I love you, bubba!

Friends of Hotrod should prepare celebrate. He's 15 years old this 04/20/08. No party this time, but please feel free to arrange to visit with him. He's lovely. He's slowing down, however, as we all must. If I age with half the grace of my dog-friend, I'll be a very lucky man!

Happy Sunday!

A day of growth.

I performed CPR for the first time today. It was pretty gnarly. I was somewhat shaken by the experience... but I re-live it: I'm standing over this giant man, on a footstool for leverage. He's big, but I'm strong. I begin chest compressions. I love when one of the team said "I feel a pulse with that... that's good CPR." I make the man's heart pump his blood... even after, it turns out, his soul had slipped away. He is so big, and dust-colored. I sweat on him while I labor. I feel his ribs, broken, grinding on his sternum as I pump his blood. The air mask makes him look like he was trying to catch his breath, his open eyes ask serenely: "who turned out the light?". The attending physician who said realistic things all along, gently calls for the team to stop... "Let's check again, the vitals... none.", asks earnestly: "Does anyone have any bright ideas?" Silence.

All our magic spent, cast lovingly into the cosmos, we walk off the field and begin to deal in all our own ways. The mans death is announced. 14:44. Happy trails, to you.