Gonna be chillin' in the Arcata are a while. Staying with at Martian games studio until I can move into my own digs (around the first).
I have been sleeping better, but for shorter amounts of time, I suppose it balances though. My brother works at the noodle house so I'm eating for free. My medical stuff is all paid for here. Soon I'll be in a place that's 340 a month all util. and internet paid for! ANNNNND I get to work with awesome people on awesome things! Life is good... now if I could only stop thinking about the way he looked when he was angry....

Going up to stay in Georgia for a while with some people. He and I are due for a break and I need to fly. We went into this as friends and we're leaving as great friends. All is right with the world.

bended ears find fault freely sucumbing to the feral rift in my heart. I hold my breath gasping when the day breaks, and trite as it may be I harken the artists' bleeding heart, that I might one day find the serenity I always wanted.

peck and stab
gleening parasitic prophesy
you are a ghost
haunting my head
Jupiters' fire burning my sick skin
wrapped up in you
broken backed in you
and yet
I am a doll
rubber and latex
perfectly flawed
pretending to be real.

So instead of Georgia we're going to Florida... Seems we are needed there for reasons beyond the call to make cash in Georgia. Had a good night at the club, danced until the only "vanilla" girls (who were very young mormons) decided that they wanted to indulge in the Sin that is me :P Kept saying they were "girl virgin" s... serves them right for pretending not to want the skin of other girls. Lust is a tricky bitch.... Her sister jealousy keeps whispering in my ear, yet I love them both as they give me the thrill in indulgence. It's raining pretty hard today, the cold concrete floor under my feet is radiating a chill that is going through me in waves. I'm not sure the East is the best option, but at this point I can't pass up the experience because my heart is a little bruised... getting over it though... Breathe girl... just keep breathing and everything will be alright...

I know you do no harm to me... I know all you want is a good time... I know you don't love me...but unmistakably I love you, all incompasing I love you, singularly I love you. I'm glad for the good times, hell I'm even glad for the bad ones... I've learned so much about myself in your eyes. Only now darling I can't see why I am willing to be your whore until you want more from me... Stop this, it's getting me nothing but broken, and used... You don't want to cause me problems... I was fine before you. If you care for me even just a little, please leave... I don't think I can stand to be a good time anymore.