Holy Crap! I just turned old!

Its my birthday...and I am so old I dont want to do anything except maybe grab a bite to eat and go to sleep...hey I have work tomorrow!
The party will happen in may sometime.... the Dirty Thirty Roller Derby.
1930's style prohibition era roller skating with madatory period dress.
It should be the biggest embarassment since being born.

The worm has turned.

Please excuse the lack of structure...I am on vicadin after a tooth extraction..Hoooray!

I see an institution that never was, collapsing and crumbeling at the supports.

I see a tarot deck of friends fulfilling the obligations of causality, while still pretending to be suited.

I see fear and suffering...borught about by the only motivation that we have ever had.
self serving and greedy .
Valor never existed in any of us and yet we still wear the medals.
displayed for all to see.

so this is all I have to say.
admit your cowardice.
admit your greed.

bite down hard on the leather strap...and love the punishment of the human condition.
its the best thing we are ever gonna get.
every moment of it is glorious.
do not lose sight of your impermanance...do not lose your grip.
let us charge the battle field wearing only our skin and our rage.
let us paint ourselves in clay and in berries and with determination.
let us vanish into the mist.
or be sucked into the mud.
let us feel dewey grass under our feet.
and the crunching impact of our enemies as they throw their bellies onto our swords.
let their external armor be seen for what it is.
weak and clumsy.
while our internal armor is strong and elegant.

pick your battles my friends...
pick your battles.
and if you do not survive the battle...know that you were loved and will be missed.

pills are wonderfull...its like magic cotton candy in my head.
I hope everyone is well.
Ciao,
Jonathan

I love my friends!

I am the drunk asshole who keeps getting invited to parties.
and for that I say thank you. For insisting that I stay in your lives..Thank You.
for letting me observe your beauty..Thank You.
for letting me be my self...Thank You.
fro taking care of each other..Thank You.
for being my friends..Thank You.
You guys are awesome.
I love you.

I hope that all goes well for you.
I wish you grace in dealing with what ever changes are happening in your life.

Peace out, my little fishies.
watch for hooks.
Ciao,
Jonathan