The Master

You are so beautiful...
I seek you.
Study you.
Ache to know the curves you rarely show. Your theatric webs of light which dance in my mind as of snapshots in a dream.
Ache to know the fullness of you and the intricate depths of your beautiful halos, winged things, and circles.

The shapes you create awe me. Your art strokes me. The bristles of your brilliance paint my innermost desire.
A mirror to my envy of you.
I weep for you...

You are so beautiful.

Just one of your glories is cause to praise. Yet, your love relents not with it's abundant and ever increasingly delicious displays.
The most grand artist...
Lover...
Teacher.

On my knees forehead to the ground I thank you. Tear drops mingle with your body.

Then I am the love which you rain upon us.
Warm rain, cold rain, hail stones and snow your magnificence continues beyond repeatability. The Master.
I'm after the all of everything that you are.

Your touch embraces
The sight of you entrances
Your...
I'm
we
It

I...

I...

...am you.

But I don't believe it. How could I of flesh and blood compare to your grandure? How ever could I claim that the creator of my universe resides within? How dare I say that my limited thinking and feeling compare in anyway to your ancient silent sentries of time beyond time?

How far ever I could stretch could not still reach so many peaks you have risen.
So many valleys you have carved and still then there is the rest of you.

The curtain of stars belittles me with unmatched ease and still I try to describe you.
Uplifts me from the roots of time itself and still I somehow don't believe.
That you are God. And I am that which is you. The Mastery, the violence, the calm.
In every essence in every moment and every place. I long to know more of the beauty which surrounds me.


-Poem to Earth and the Universe.

~Taj Amond Leahy

Silent Crystal Fragments

I was remembering last years trip to The Sequoia National Forest with my lady. The beauty, the grandure, the snow! We climbed the mountain from our camp where the night before we heard a man chasing away a couple bears who broke into his car. We decided to stay for some odd reason thinking that there was no threat to us. Don't ask me why. No, nothing happened and we never saw those two bears again.

It rained gently as we drove the winding road toward one of the most amazing places I've ever been. Surely I'm a tree hugger but I think this is one of those places that people come from all over the world to see. Eventually the rain became snow and soon the ground was icy and covered in white. Where we live in California is not so close to snow so we were both very excited! We each jumped out of the car to quickly stuff a hand full of snow in our mouths. Of course I had to make the biggest snow ball I could make and chuck it at the nearest girlfriend. Of course, it's what you do when your in the SNOW! Yay!

Eventually there we were. Wandering down a path, just her and I amidst gigantic orange brown trees which seemed as grand sentries to the passing of eternity. Amazingly, as large as they are, their mighty trunks are soft to the touch. How humbling it was to be near them. How entrancing it was to walk in silence with snow covering everything in sight. Creating such beautiful shapes and slowly falling from the sky, the snow had me. The thing that I was remembering was the impact of the sights around us coupled with the fact that it was fucking silent. Not a sound. Yet so much snow falling from the sky. So much movement. A gentle stampede of ground bound crystal fragments. Silent and so far over the top beautiful. There was no question that we were living in a very special moment. I'm quite thankful for that day. If you look at the pics be sure to view the large size. These are easily picks of one of my happiest days on Earth. We will be returning. Just waiting for the nearby cave to open and welcome us in.
-Taj

Thoughts of Youtube...

Everybody’s play place…


From the musician who wants to practice their favorite idols chords to the little girl who wants to play sexy in the mirror laymen and corporate grinders alike have one thing in common; a place to be seen.
I realized that I could look up just about anything I could imagine and so I do. Parkour, porn, extreme crashes, music videos, even that old one with “Mr. T” called Love your mother.

There’s not all milk and cookies though. I get sad sometimes when I come across racist comments and idiocy which pervades most comment sections of videos. It’s not o.k.
Sometimes I respond as a voice of reason in a xenophobic world. One need only watch for a day and you will see. It takes all types.

I guess I’m optimistic though. Some people don’t give a rat’s ass, can’t see the evidence there before them on the screen. Choose an image and 10 other related vids will present as options. It’s like a choose your own adventure. Want to watch rock climbing, see that new snoop dog video, post a vid of your new and improved drama technique?

It’s all there to have.
Like the Nazi speeches and scenes of knockouts in the street. Really funny but, disturbing. Like a car chase where you see a person fleeing the police and the resulting crash where his body slides through the window of his tumbling car sending him flying several yards and landing in his death bed. Slightly funny yet disturbing. I don’t want to watch people die.

But I do.
Is it to understand? Is it for fun?
Why do we do what we do? For what purpose and to what end? Perhaps I’ll dream of knockouts and the myriad ways a person can get hurt and die.

All choked up

And the phone rings... "what are you up too?"

"Oh, nothing", she says with that obvious help me sort of tone. I tell her my side she tells me hers. It all falls into the norms of life. Death, heartache, and the insistent crunch and screech of power tools goes on just outside my view. The door slams open and shut as we speak of illness in society. Race class religion.

All of it brings forth thoughts of verse and prose. "Love the life you live... Woke up to the sounds of insincere talking...to to the sounds of neighbors fighting."

Too many times I've been that witness to the ungreatness of human kind. Such as a three day old tale of the -N- word being tossed out of a car window toward a friend of mine as she strolled beside the ocean here in Santa Cruz. Odd cause as I strolled there earlier the same day I wondered who there would have trouble with MY presence.
"But I'm just me."
Judgments play out in our minds all day long. Every moment is an assessment.

Think clearly and share your truth. Be willing to know that you are wrong. It's o.k.
We are all learning how to survive, thrive, and get along here. No matter how old we are or how much it looks like we have our shit together.
-Taj

Spirit

Why is it that whenever I witness expressions of spirit I soar inside! Body convulsing with the magnitude of our nature.

When I dance...

When I dance...

The intensity of the mus(e)ic is over powering.
A force beyond me.
...and when the bass kicks in I feel, Driven!
It speaks to me (The Universe) never stops. Like a jack hammer it pushes me ever onward, forward, beyond the routine. Beyond the "normal"

Tells me what to do and how to move. Dances with me.
Shows me what bliss is...

"How could you ever doubt?" it speaks.
"Do what your told" The master calls
"I am your power"
"know me and be whole"
_
Boom boom boom

The bass and rhythm brings me again into heaven and I remember why I love life and yet again express my passion through a dance to the heavens. "I never want to leave this place!" I cry

"Lord, keep fresh before me...
The moments of my high resolve."

I know it may be hard for you to understand but this is my heaven. The BEAT...


THE
RHYTHM

It sings to me and reminds me of the grandure, the mastery that is held in every moment. Every measure. Every single moment between beats...
the silence, and the blessing of sound.

My sadness comes from the forgetfulness which pervades us. Which keeps me from expressing myself as God and from being that which I know my self to be; Strong, powerful, graceful.
I soak, bask, in the beauty of it and set to jump into the world with blazing fury the joy of life!
I can't help it. My ecstacy comes from the silence within the sonic force of Techno, house, Jungle, Trance...
My mantra screams through walls of speakers and calls me home.
"I'm sorry I allow myself to forget.", I apologize to God.
"I need you", I whisper through tears.

"...You are the only lover I could ever want"

And my thoughts are echoed back to me...."I love you", goes the verse in the measure in the chorus , in the line, between the silence and the sound..........................

"I love you"

"So very very much!"

-Taj

Fucking Parkour!

I can't stop thinking about it. It's 2:26 in the A.M. and I'm still thinking about it. I want to JUMP! I was scoping this roof to roof jump today. Too many variables plus, i don't think I would stop. Jump, jump, jump. Could you imagine the sound of a human being crashing onto your ceiling? Ha ha ha God that would be funny! If you don't know what Parkour is just know that it's kinda like using the urban environment as your jungle gym. I will surly write more but i just had to get that out. I love life!

Natty watching you...

Our world is deep in shit.
I love life but it's pretty crazy out there. For the record though, I do believe that we can make a huge change for the better. We all just need to see that it can happen and live moment to moment in the understanding that there is a better way to live in harmony with each other and nature. Not to say that life is allways going to be a piece of cake when we all wake up, but I do feel that we will have a much smoother ride. Why not?

I could, let's just say, decide that I believe that the only thing that is important is my sustainence and that of those few people who I chose to be in my circle. With that mindset I would get any job with the highest bidder and use my talent and attractiveness to succeed at whatever would make me the most money. Most likely a job "defending our freedom". Then I would of course let nothing stand in the way of my creature comforts such as my gigantic truck(because I can afford it) or my extra large flat screens in every room of the house. No, I wouldn't let something like ethics or morality sway me. Hey, why should I? I gotta look out for me. Every one else is just in it for thems selves too right?
Wrong, so damn wrong.

I was talking to a dear friend of mine, about how many Christians are taught that we are living "in the last days" and that Jesus will come down soon to take away all the good people and leave the bad people here in what will become hell. (I was taught the same shit.) While, I think, that it is meant to get people to be good humans the draw back is a fatalistic attitude. This was so well articulated by my dear friends quote from her childhood friend: " You know, whats the point of recycling when it's all gonna be over soon anyway?". WOW! This mentality serves a really good function for those seeking to excape responsability of their actions toward Earth and other people and it's being taught to a whole bunch of people under the guise of being gods word.

Same goes for global warming being a commonly talked about subject. While it's great that we discuss this we need to be very carful to express that we CAN make a change for the better with cooperation because some people will let this fit into the already underlying idea that it's all "over soon anyway" I've heard it with my own ears. I very rich person I met said something about how when every thing heats up and goes to shit "I've got to be ready" I was surprised because I had hoped that people would not take global warming in this way. That it's done for, no need to care. However, people do. I read the news and I watch with scorn the arrogance of various people as I dance through daily life.

THE WARS ENCIRCLING THE GLOBE ARE A SYMPTOM OF THE SMALL WARS WE ALL FIGHT WITHIN OURSELVES.

Think about The Chain, The Web, if you will. Each one of us has thousands of interactions every day. Every time you look at or hear another person you are interrelated. If I'm yelling at my girlfriend and someone in a car passing by sees me, they will be affected in a small but significant way by my actions. It might conjure for them images of race, gender, social status, family issues all kinds of things. That person has been affected by my energy and will take that with them for the rest of the day if not the rest of their lives. I'm sure you can remember an argument you wittnessed once upon a time. How about some cool act of kindness? Or how about that feeling of oneness and comradery? See it works both ways. negativity is contagous and sometimes goes unnoticed but continues to affect other people. So does being positive. However, we need to cultivate it within ourselves first. KNOW that it will all be o.k. and that their are so many out there who do care and are working on making life better for everyone. Let your spirit be whole and you will resonate in a way that will touch all whom you encounter. As is said, " be the change you wish to see in the world."

I see every day small reasons to discount human kind but chose to be in the place of light. As I said, we are knee deep in it. If you look up but for only a moment you you will see some shocking ass shit. I use my unhappyness at the state of the world, my sometimes anger, to fuel me not to chalk people off but to try and sign them up to my way of thinking. That Earth can be again paradice and that we all can truely get along forever.
Good luck.

Drum

I've been drumming again. This day we lasted about five hours.
When I hit that skin, my mind eventualy collapses into itself and visions of ancient text follow my thoughts like shimmering sound waves leeding me through the temple into the place of being where our souls rest. I fight against this mundane life when the rhythhm calls me. I remember who I am and of what I was born. I remember the line from which I come and the struggle my people have endured so that I may exist. A struggle which continues with the incarnation of my life due to the state of the world. Due to the state of the people who inhabit it whom choose not to see the beauty of their essence.
When I drum I remember. I remember to fight. To fight weariness, fear,...solitude. I remember that I am not alone. Never have been. never will be. I remember that I am one with so much more than my self. I remember the DEPTH of the rhythm.

Depth Control///

So, I think often about the man I am and the humans that are around me. Who are you? Do you feel as I that you MUST gain awareness of self to do your part for this world? Do you, like me, feel that you must gain control of all of the layers of your lower mind so that you are not walking in auto pilot? Do you feel that Depth is a goal to be attained such as Wisdom and truth?

As I grow deeper and broader in my understanding of the patterns around me I find that I am not so far off from harmony. There is a level of fog between I and I and through practice, silence, and patience I believe that we can strip away this layer to walk fully in the rhythm of the universe. What does this look like...?
I assume you have had moments where you have lost your mind in the act of something whether it be dancing, art, d.jing, sex, running or whatever. I believe that if we increase the freaquency of the time that we spend in that place of "no mind" the closer we are to God. Continue to search for that place.

What is God? To me God is simply everything. All that exists has its pattern. organised by the push and pull of atoms and energy.
Imagine if all the time you could be fully aware and energised to perform whatever task you set out to accomplish. This is called enthusiasm The root of which meaning: in or within spirit. Constant inpiration.

Thank you. That was my blah blah blah for the moment.