So the quest continues...

Never stop....

Donna — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 01:28:28 GMT

OK... so again it has been way too long since I posted and/or participated... but I am now on a mission... I MISS DANCING!!! I have been so consumed with getting my degree and changing careers to the Administration of Justice field that I put dance on hold and I can't take it anymore! It has has a negative effect on me mentally and physically... since I am now fully based in the Central Valley... no more communting daily to the Bay Area! WooHOO!!! I need to find a valley based instructor and classes... and just make time in my schedule! Balance... I have to remember to stay balanced... not focus my energies in one area and get tunnel vision... I remember a conversation with Alia and asking her if she thought I was nuts for trying to do all the things I do... like my Mom says buring the candle not just at both ends but in the middle as well and I loved Alia's response... NO you are not nuts... you are living life!

Where does time go?

Donna — Sat, 05 Aug 2006 05:42:05 GMT

I can't believe it has been 10 months since I posted anything! That is a shame! I need to find more me time and spend it connecting to others. It is good for me and good for my mental health... as always I have a million and one things in the works, I always do... my focus tho is on actually completing a few. I am the master of the great plan but damn I sux at follow thru! I really have been feeling better mentally... I am in a much better place. So much more positivity in my life... I just have to hang on to that for dear life and keep on taking one day at a time!

You will know when it is time.....

Donna — Sat, 21 Jan 2006 00:31:41 GMT

And I did, I left my troupe that I have been dancing with for the past three years... my joy was gone. I still love dearly my dance sisters and I hope that we will always remain friends. We have been on an exciting journey together and that should not have to end just because we are not all dancing together in the same troupe. But, it was my time to go... and find my joy again... find the fire that drives me. I new year, a new way. I want to put the passion back in my dance... and I hunger for knowledge and growth both as a person and a dancer... and now I am fortunate enough to be able to share my love of this dance with my own students... it warms my heart when I hear how much they are enjoying themselves and how proud they are when they get that new skill down. I LOVE IT!!! and it has re-ignited that fire...

Everything happens for a reason....

Donna — Thu, 05 Jan 2006 07:20:12 GMT

I KNOW this is true! But I am finding this very hard to remember at the moment! The New Year started off so great, to be truthful... my rock and idol started his new job and we are on the road to new big things... kids are healthy and one is finally starting college. Life is truely good. I am dealing with the job stuff myself and on the path for good change... and I went back to my classes. Uuurgh! there in lies the frustation... I have been with this troupe for quite a while now and I am not sure there in joy in being a member anymore. I feel like I am being shut out and the cliques are back once again. Is this the push I need to move on???

And So On....

Donna — Thu, 29 Dec 2005 06:39:57 GMT

Things have been crazy busy around here... so much going on that this girl is just dead tired. Tis the season I guess!!! I have been going through it with my Dad. He and his second wife are getting a divorce. They were married for 19 years and he is taking it really hard! She ended up taking him to court filing for divorce and hitting him for major alimony... and since she hardly worked during the 19 years they were married and my Dad basically supported her... the court granted her a bunch of money every month! All of this had such a negative effect on my Dad... he already suffered from bouts of depression and is bi-polar... but her leaving him sent him into a real tail spin. He called me one night a couple weeks ago, when I was almost home and told me I need to get to San Jose NOW! I found him dazed and confused... he had been sleeping for days... he didn't even know what day it was... he had not eaten... drank anything... or taken his medication, nothing. I ended up taking him to Kaiser and they placed him in the hospital for a week... and he has been out of work since... he is in an intensive counseling group and they put him on some anti-depressants but he still is not doing very well. Since I am the only kid here in Cally... it has been all up to me to take care of him... I have been back and forth to San Jose so much... I should get frequent flyer miles with my car! On top of that I have been crazy busy at work!!! This is our busiest time of year... I can't wait to take some time off after the first of the year and some things settle down! Plus after the first of the year... I am also going to be heading up a team building assessment and project for my boss. I am really excited about that... I have become our team "cheerleader" and always trying to increase and spread the positivity!!! And as if I was not already busy enough...somehow I found the time to make one of my goals a reality one of my dreams come true!!! I started teaching a beginners belly dance class!!! Can you believe that! I have been dancing for three+ years now and absolutely love it... A group of girls at work really wanted to learn so they talked me into teaching them. I am leasing studio space near work... and we have class once a week on Thursday nights. Plus I still have my classes with my Troupe in Tracy and I am taking class with a another/new teacher in Livermore cause I am trying to be the best dancer I can be... so I can be the best teacher too. Armeka is doing EXCELLENT!!!! He finally got hired by the Ca Dept. of Corrections!!!! Wahoo!!! Let me tell you they make you jump thru hoops twice, to get a job!!! He starts the academy on 1/3/06... and he will be in the academy for 14 weeks. We have waited for this for sooooooo long!!! I am so happy for him!!! I know how much he hated his construction job and they worked him so hard for such little money. I am so proud of him!!! He worked so hard to make this happen! He was like a pitbull with getting this job... and would not quit until he go it! As soon as he gets settled. We are going to do some fixing up to the house we have now and sell it! We are already looking at some brand new homes!!! I can't wait to have that ultimate bathroom that I want so bad! My own personal spa! 2006 is looking like it is going to be a damn good year!

Day Four

Donna — Mon, 14 Nov 2005 01:12:59 GMT

Whew... what a weekend... I never get done as much as I plan or say I want to do... but it was a good weekend nontheless... Went and paid a visit to my first bellydance teacher and asked her for her input and guidance at starting my own classes. She was soooo very helpful gave me so much info... I can't wait to get started now. She also gave me some great insight and advice on which direction I should be taking my personal dance education... she is such a great resource and was so open with all her knowledge and inspiration she had to share.

Day Three

Donna — Thu, 10 Nov 2005 07:37:24 GMT

I discovered today that there are... what could end up being some VERY big changes coming to the troupe I currently dance with. It makes me sad... I have loved being part of this troupe... even with the drama that sometimes comes along with being involved with a group of females... creative, dynamic females. There have been differences of opinions and clicks... but we always seemed to muddle thru. Some of those challenges even made new friendships blossom and old ones grow stronger. But, I am worried that with the changes on the horizon it could mean the demise of the Jewels. I see things slowing slipping away... some girls losing interest and others pursuing other avenues. It is not like it would cause me to stop dancing... dancing brings so much joy to my heart and I am most happy when I am dancing... I see myself dancing all the way to the grave... but I guess it is because I started here with some of these girls as the orginal members and added those that have joined along the way... that there is some sense of comfort and bond that I feel, I would hate to lose. There is a part of me that wants to scream WHAT THE HELL!!! where is the commitment that I FEEL??? Maybe I am more into the group dynamic that some even most??? I enjoy being part of the group supporting and learning together... celebrating our accomplishments and rallying together when things don't go the way we planned... envisioned. That is part of ME tho... part of my make-up, my personality... the glue. It has been that way for me in so many circles... family... friends... co-workers. I need to be the gatherer... that brings everyone together and connects the separate individual parts to make the whole. Could this mean the end??? Or just a new beginning??? A push in the direction I should be heading when I have been too comfortable too content to look outside the bubble. An opportunity??? to stretch beyond... Or just struggle??? Do I sit back and let it happen... unfold and ride the wave... see where the tide goes??? Or do I slap a motor on this sailboat and "steer" the course???

Day Two

Donna — Wed, 09 Nov 2005 06:18:15 GMT

OK... so I am really feeling tired today. I have been having a lot of trouble sleeping... too much on the mind... staying up until 1am and then dragging my ass out a bed in the morning is taking a toll today. I didn't end up going to the class I wanted to tonite... cause I am pooped and I have to fight not to give myself the mental ass whoopin I usually do. One day at a time... no day is a set back just a set up for tomorrow! I did do some research today getting info together and just reading soaking up everything like a sponge! So the day was definitely not lost. I spent alot of time looking at other tribes and even joined a few... I am really trying to get myself out there. I feel like it was meant to be... so much is being shown to me right now. I just have to keep my eyes open my chin up and look for the signs.

Day 1 continues...

Donna — Tue, 08 Nov 2005 04:37:08 GMT

OK so this is somewhat silly but I am really updating and making My TRIBE look and feel more like me... personalizing! Funny that the page design that jumped out at me is called turbulance! That is me... and my inner self in this moment! And the fact that it has what looks like water crashing or splashing across the top make it really fit. I have always loved water... being in the water, surrounded by the water... especially the ocean! It is so soothing to me... it is like a primal need. I NEED to go to the ocean everyone and awhile and just recharge!

Day 1

Donna — Tue, 08 Nov 2005 04:28:29 GMT

Wow... what an incredibly productive weekend! I took time to sit down and decide what I want to do... and where I want to go. I set a definite personal goal... and I followed thru with putting that plan in action! It has been a while since I actually did that! I have been so wrapped up in my head and struggling to get thru each day that focus was one thing I just could not do... but with the aid of some very dear friends... I got that push I needed. It always happens when someone is really counting on me... needs me. That is when I can come thru. I need to learn to be able to do that for myself... come thru for me when I need me! I will get there some day! All that matters at this point is the high I feel because I set the goal and put the machine in motion to make it happen!