My Blog

Remember to Tip the Headsman

   Wed, January 14, 2009 - 2:35 PM
It was customary in ye bad olde days to offer the headsman a tip just before execution so he’d (hopefully) make a good clean job of it. Of course, that was of no particular assurance, particularly if the headsman happened to have been imbibing the night before his appointed duty; but it was, nonetheless, customary, and a sign of terribly bad manners to ignore the conventional gratuity. (Doubtless, though, many who’d arrived at the chopping block were guilty of far worse than bad manners.)
I am reminded of this today because of Rod Blagojevich’s Constitutional Duty to preside over the Illinois State Senate during the swearing-in ceremony this afternoon. He should have at least offered a few gratuitous verbal niceties about the Gentlemen and Ladies before him so that they, too, might make a good expeditious carrying out of their impending duty to remove the Head of State from Illinois Government. Perhaps it is the second resolution, however, which has troubled the Gov’s mind a tad (as if it is not troubled enough), which is to permanently bar him from any State Office in perpetuity upon conviction. One can only speculate as to which poet Blago will select to recite for us next, like a final exam in Ninth Grade English Lit, as he exits the Political Arena for the less conspicuous though more notorious Coliseum of Federal Criminal Prosecution. I’d be willing to put my money on Coleridge and “The Rime of the Ancient Mariner”; but with Blago, it’s anybody’s guess.
Another interesting bit of trivia… with the new House of Representatives seated today, one of the first items of business was to vote on the resolution to impeach Blagojevich, which they did, 117 to 1… the one being his sister-in-law, freshman Deb Mell, daughter of notorious Chicago Alderman Dick Mell. This makes Blagojevich the only governor in the history of the nation to actually have been impeached twice, having been impeached by the previously sitting House just a few days ago.
Frankly, with the sufferings I have endured as a direct consequence of the Blagojevich – Mell mafia’s shenanigans, I’ve extended an open invitation to the Headsman to tip a few brewskies the night before the appointed duty, in the hope of witnessing something, shall we say, a bit less tidy come the fateful day.
Ah, how I long for ye bad olde days.


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