more like my scriblings

part of my trip to dc

balzcoat — Sun, 19 Apr 2009 18:42:13 GMT

.... My plan at the moment after letting the Earlham DC grew that i was cumming to town and asking what they were all up 2. i got a hold Katherine Maria Sophia Lord a dear friend and we planned to watch the inaugural on tv either at her house or in a little cafe and then go to watch the parade. Nine am the next morning Paul and his daughter drop me off at the metro station and the day began. as i waited the hour or so to broad the train, the love fest began. hundreds of people from around the country waiting in the morning cold 2 see and hear Barrack Obama be sworn in as our 44 president . there was singing and chanting and some frustration as 2 why the trains were not moving. seems as though people downtown had clogged the system delaying trains from getting out side of the city to the ends of the metro lines in the burbs. and being at the end of the line we were kind of shit outta luck. so there we were with the beginning of grumbling, but as long as i made it up 2 Katherine's in time to watch the speech and swearing in on tv i felt i was in good shape. till i get a call (one of the only calls i made or received that day)seems Katherine finagled a last minute ticket onto the mall. so dang no plans. i try to call shawn no answer and no response 2 my texts. i'm on my own. as myself and the rest of the crowd around me gets into the metro station. we filled the train to the bursting point. there was a warmth and love from people giving up and sharing seats holding open doors helping to brace people so they wouldn't fall. it was the loaves and fishes happening before my very eyes. and i had to share that feeling with someone anyone so i sent a simple three word text to everyone in my phone "i love u". i should have thought twice or thought at all. i had neglected to tell most people that i was going to DC that day, and when most saw my text they thought something was wrong. when people started texting back "are u ok" "wat's wrong" and the like and they get no response back from me (cell service was crap that day) people thought the worst. almost everyone i know,best knew i was not in the best of mental states and those simple words could cause a bit of an uproar. i was too lost in the love fest i was surrounded by that i could not understand why anyone would thing something was wrong. there was so much joy and happiness in the the streets on the train on the mall that there was no way i could not share that with the people who mean the most to me. and i like Renee Zelwiger continued to fallow the people. i got off the metro with a large crowd and just began 2 walk. listen as the cops and national guards' men directed us to open streets and intersections. the streets were filled and filling up. i pressed on and finally hit the mall, geese swimming in a pond beside the the world war II monument and if i would have had that time i would have stopped and wondered around. but they were introducing former presidents in cumming cabinet members and honored heads of state. 4 a brief moment i stopped and gathered a glance of our newly elected on a trio of jumbo-trons at the back slope of the washington monument. but there was more room up the hill and i wanted to be as close as i could be. so without knowing if there were anymore screens and not caring if there weren't. as long as i heard Barrack sworn in heard him speak and give us words to live by i would be ok fell this journey was worth while. as a portion of the crowd moved its way up the hill witch was already filled groups found little pockets and stopped. the few of us on our own climbed higher and higher winding in and out of families school and church groups and friends gather for the event. when i truly could move no closer an d the ceremony was about 2begin. i stopped a mere twenty or so feet from the foot of the washington monument. with the capital in full view and the white house off in the near distance. i watched as the sea of people filed in every inch of the national mall. on all four sides there were people as far as the eye could see. and i stood there alone taking in awe-inspiring magnitude of it all. here i am among's millions all gathered 4 the greatest feet of our lives that the son of an African exchanged student and a white girl from the mid-west has elected president and in a few short moments will be sworn in. a man who no more then fifty years ago would have been able 2 do little more then clean the building that he he now presides over. i stood there seeing the legacy of many many generations black white brown tan and red who have and continue 2 fight 4 social religious and economic equality. the many who have died not being able 2 see one of there dreams cum true. the two whom i thought of mostly my grandfather and my lover. both men looked 2 see a world where lives of all especially 4 the less fortunate were made better my grandfather Eugene Caldwell grew of the one youngest of over ten children who mother died during child birth or soon there after and a father who abandoned them. he grew up hard but strong and by the time my brother and i came along he was shadow of his former self. broken by years of racism and just utter frustration he died homeless and an alcoholic. but as my mother and grandmother cleaned out the room they rented for him they found hundreds and hundreds of neatly clipped underlined and highlighted magazines and news paper articles as well as books on every African american man and woman with rising political socioeconomic power. Martin Malcolm Jesse Gates Walker Chisim Marshal. she ask what were 2 happen if he would have lived to see this day see what the dream was alive and becoming even more a reality. because i highly doubt my grandfather thought that in 25 years after he past his grandson would be living and in love with a skinny convert jew from upstate new york who was considered one of the best soul food chefs in dayton OH. my partner Rob Fabia champion of the little guy. he wanted everyone 2 have a chance and was willing 2 do what ever he could 2 make sure of that. by opening restaurants not 4 his own fame and fortune but so people could have a job away 2 provide 4 themselves and families. he truly saw people as individuals each with desttions 2 make a path for themselves. and saw that if the country were 2 elect Obama it would not just be a monumental step 4 Americans of color but all Americans. rob saw this as a chance 4 people 2 finally cum together and let their inhabits and prepossess go. i consider him one of the last murders for the cause. he was kilt in a fire that was set just hours after the obama volunteers finished a night campaigning at the privet supper club we were running. an here i stood at the foot of the washington monument with the sound of two million plus people jeering an out going regime and cheering 4 a president and government that as least as this junction seem 2 be looking 2 make this country not only great 4 a few but 4 all. standing alone overwhelmed with pride sadness joy pain fear delight excitement and anticipation 2 even begin 2 cry. i stood there alone knowing that crowd somewhere there were many of these whom i knew and loved. i stood there by myself sounded by those toking up, popping bottles of champagne flasks of brandy cans of MGD. husbands kissing wives, wives kissing wives , children kissed parents love was everywhere i looked around. and there i stood among it all alone euphoric in crowd of millions. anomous in a sea full of love piece and hair-grease. during the whole of the inaugural ceremony i felt at piece, something i hadn't felt in a long long time. and i was ever so glad 4 it 2 wash over me. four hours of solitude and i was getting hungry

make sure ur child knows how to call home

balzcoat — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 19:49:47 GMT

there was the time my mother and Millie got into a fight. really there were many times where they got into or almost got into a fight. this time i remember is imprinted 2 memory. Millie and my mother grew up in the same town and have been very good friends since they were five years old. so in turn Millie's son and i grew pretty close ( didn't help that we are 3 days apart in birth). we went summer camps together had joint birthday parties. and the one thing we did the most Saturday morning art classes at the newark museum. almost though high-school every Saturday morning we took classes in pottery, calligraphy, paper making, photography, eastern european egg decoration. afterward we'd all go out. shopping though downtown newark, elizabeth, the mall, or just head into NYC, spending the day running from here to there. in all of the running about we'd often stop at connivence store. this is what happened on one such stop. so we're all in a connivence store, me niles mom millie and bryan. we found our goodies and millie is on line to pay 4 them. as she approaches the counter and is in the process of asking for her Benson and Hedges light one hundreds, a man reaches over her head and places his on the counter in front of her. this guy is like 7'8" huge arm the size of a boa and just reaches over her head and puts his stuff on the counter. millie (i should have mention that millie and my mom are 5'2" and 5'3")snaps around looks him dead in the eye " what the hell do u fucking think ur doing can't u see i'm next and my stuff is on the counter, i suggest u move ur crap and get back in line", putting the mans belongings back in into his hand. he responds by putting his things back down and looking down at Millie," u should be happy ur a lady because if u weren't....." i don't see no lady here so let's go". while all this is going on Niles and i are sitting next 2 the door in the window sill oblivious 2 what is going on. until my mother, who as been paying the upmost attention, hands me my baby brother bryan and says. " Mark u do know ur phone number incase u have to call ur dad at home right." "yes mom 6231684", as she proceeds 2 join in the verbal ass whooping the giant man received.

uplifting

balzcoat — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 03:39:26 GMT

my mother sent me this story that she wrote about my grandfather. she wrote it a few months ago but felt it pointient to send it out to friends and family today as we cast our votes to help change our country and our world mark My father was an alcoholic. He lost everything but the love of his family. His last remaining sister refused to believe his illness was alcoholism – it’s dementia she would argue. Somehow I think she knew better but just found it too difficult to face the truth - her favorite brother had succumbed to our family disease, alcoholism. Of my father’s nine siblings, six suffered from extreme alcoholism. My father lost his identity. He lost his love of self and resorted to living outdoors. This was his choice. He refused to live with any family member or me. My Mother and I rented a room for him stocked with non-perishable foods and set up barely used accounts for him in eating establishments. In severe weather he came indoors. When hungry, he would eat. When approached about living outdoors, he would reprimand me for being wasteful with money. When questioned about his thinness he would explain that for medicinal purposes he was on a liquid diet. My mother left their 38-year marriage because she realized my father’s drinking was killing her. She told me when I was a wife and mother that she simply could not believe the proud and hard workingman she loved disappeared into some other world. She believed he would return. Her own health failing, she came to the conclusion that if she stayed around much longer she would not be alive to witness his return. Both orphans of a sort, my parents married during the depression. Elementary school dropouts, they were proud, and smart people. They were knock out dressers and considered “the” progressive couple in their small African American community. My father worked for years as a master machinist. He led a Boy Scout troop for nearly fifteen years and mentored many a young man to adulthood. His sister, his defender, often bragged that my father was the first black man she had every known to have a checking account. Although short, squat, and dark skinned with a wondering left eye, his impeccable wardrobe, near perfect diction and carriage compensated for physical flaws. Tall, erect, and beautiful, my mother was the antithesis of my father. He said he married my mother, four inches taller than he in flats that she never wore, because he did not want short children. The children came 15 years into the marriage. By then the descent had started. My father was what they used to call a “race man”. A “race man” consistently strives to promote positive images of black people, carries himself with dignity and strives to bring positive change to the black community. It was the failure of one attempt after another to become the “quintessential race man” that led to his breakdown. With only a third grade education, he would often tutor our next-door neighbor in high school chemistry and physics. A voracious reader, he could enter any conversation on just about any subject and have you convinced he was an expert on that topic. He successfully installed a central heating system in our home and hand crafted my bedroom set. Everyone thought he could do anything but, though a man of immense talent and ambition; he started one business after another, only to see each one of them fail. His street life caused me much angst. After a sleepless and stormy night of thinking about him sleeping on hard wet ground I went looking for him. Once again I tried to convince him to make use of his room. With a five year old grasping my hand and a newborn strapped to my chest I begged him to go indoors. We argued and attracted the attention of the police. They came to rescue me only to be the brunt of several expletives by my father telling them to arrest me for harassing him. At the age of 70 he was still incorrigible. One day I received a call from his landlord. He warned me that my father was in bad shape and I had better come to see about him. I found a very weak man, glad to see me and anxious to follow my every directive. His days of living outdoors were over. He died six months later from esophageal cancer. When I went to empty his room, I found magazine articles and newspaper clippings on Jesse Jackson, Martin Luther King, Sharp James, Al Sharpton, and many other African American leaders of the second half of the 20th century neatly stacked. Passages were underlined. Notes were written in the margins. Notebooks of graph paper with calculations and mechanical drawings and a worn Spanish primer were there as well. These were not the possessions of a man suffering from dementia. What happens to a dream deferred? He has been dead for nearly 25 years. On the occasion of his death, my aunt gave me a beautifully framed print of Henry Ossawa Tanner’s The Banjo Lesson. She wanted my family to be ever mindful of my father’s role as mentor and teacher of young men. My father would be so proud of his grandsons. They’ve confidently seized the opportunities for success denied him. As I follow closely the ascent of Barak Obama I often think of my father. Even after Iowa, he would have argued vehemently about the impossibility of a black man become a presidential candidate. He would be so happy to be proven wrong. linda epps

giant white light stick

balzcoat — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 19:01:51 GMT

giant white light stick skinny what u doing what time u cummen home and what is 4 dinner baby do u want 2 go out see a movie a show or just karoke and dinner rob what time so u need me in the morning what all has 2 be done how u feelen to day and did u eat milton needs some dry food and can u walk him i love u and ill see in a bit i have 2 go 2 work ill try it ifs alright im not sure what else it needs i don't care just make something don't ever cook around me ill find something 2 eat i just need u roll over babe hold me ur my little boy i love u goodnight

thought i was ready

balzcoat — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 17:31:06 GMT

k i thought i was ready today to talk about someone whom i love with all my life but im not um it is kied of cribbling at the moment to go home to wake up to do anything that i have to do alone or with womekind of wating involved i know most think im putting up a good front and not letting anyghint hit me but belive me it is and im not sure what to do how to do it and where or when to begin

addict

balzcoat — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 18:40:27 GMT

addict ok i'm kinda straight edge i almost never drink i smoke just a little and almost never do illegal stuff but i hang with a wild crowd or at least im aquatinted with some heavy users of all sorts from the recreational 2 the way 2 much i wonder why i wonder why they like mr. clean cut and i like the addicted we relate and understand without being sappy or shit here something that i can't put my finger on

what up now

balzcoat — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 17:33:19 GMT

there are things in the works and it may work out 4 the best i hope. one being i may no longer have to work daily in the resturant business something that i would lope to happen seeing as int he last few years it has caused me great stress and uneasy. no tto mention unneeded and wanted stress with the old man that lseeps in my bed with me. and all i want is 4 life to go back to the way it was and and live like we once did. HAPPY and it wasnt the money but the lack of stress and the abundance of sex oops:} but i mean it just get to a point where we can just be again and not always be worried about how the next day will turn out. now all i'm thinking about is what pic i am going to put this and what poem i will follow this post up with ill make sure its sumething fun and mayne something i have to typ in.

the way

balzcoat — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 22:52:23 GMT

say say say what u want do do do as u feel make up ur u mind and stop wasting time about the black or white or annie cause she's ok don't stop till u've got enough of what u want need deserve and don't make an ass fuck of urself cause i''m looken though the window 2 see who u keep ur corner of the sky see if u bet on the looken horse

rant

balzcoat — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 18:33:18 GMT

i need something to shake up my world.... well soemthing good im in a rut all the way around work sux sex well there is no sux life is just kinda boreing and dull and i need something to spice it up. soemthing to just get things back to life. so if anyone has an idiea let me know. i just hope my old man is really getbetter then i think we'll get outta here or at least i'll no longer have nurse duities and can get a real job and that i like and can make money at i miss thoose days lol

Stroll

balzcoat — Fri, 16 May 2008 17:44:33 GMT

stroll well all the leaves are brown and u know sometimes sadly the sky is grey but where in over cast days never ever use 2 turn me on there is definitely something about the clouds and ur eyes that mix from the first fallen leaf the first purple snowfall april showers with may flowers there is a rhythm in the street a syncopated beat in the concrete that makes a walk in the park a stroll down this city view one that is made more perfect strolling a long with u

just one little monkey

balzcoat — Sun, 11 May 2008 23:36:33 GMT

just one little monkey i want a monkey 2 hold and keep i want a monkey that’s all my own i want a monkey cause it’s a special kind of pet and i’d do anything i mean anything 2 get one i’ll put one in the Beef’s big suitcase, or disguise it as his son. because as we all know monkey smugglen is his thang, cause Beef ain’t got no shame. smugglen monkeys from Sri Lanka 2 Costa Rica and eventually Richmond indiana. the monkey smugglen capital of the world when i get it when i get my monkey things will be beautiful things will be great i’ll have a monkey that’ll climb trees eat fruit and do tricks i’ll have a monkey that won’t get in any trouble so it’ll never have 2 be spanked i’ll have a monkey

opps:}

balzcoat — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 16:36:26 GMT

well well ok now things are going in a slow but i think better mood way slide. it's time to for me to crash lol it's been at least year of sickness and death all on my shoulders well not all but lot. thank god for great friends. so well hell what's new with everyone else. i'm just happy to be alive and somewhat healthy and kind of sane.

life at this moment

balzcoat — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 23:14:17 GMT

ok this few months this year has been um something else. and i don't normally talk about my problems or issues. but there are times when you have to let things out let the world know that life isn't fair life will throw you curves twist and turns. though this year my partner has almost died twice. a man who i love dearly and with whom i am living 100s of miles away from his family and mine. we have been blessed to have friends who have helped protected and loved us back to (almost) health. as things began to turn for the better my grandfather past. dr. verner was a man beyond words. at almost 90 years of age he was a third generation college grad. making so as a child there was no other option but to go. i didn't know that people were rejected and couldn't go. he changed the world we live in today. as with many other men of his time he was a civil rights leader not only locally but know in circles around the world. a man who was unable to stop practicing medicine due to the his patients high demand and respect who in his 80s had a busier day then most adults in the prime of life. there is no way to be truly sad by his passing cause it has been a honor to be part of his family link to a man who will be researched and honored long after i'm gone. but to me and my cousins he wasn't that man he was just Grandfather. the person who showed us how to be respectful to each other s ourselves and the world around us. who made sure we were and are mannerly know proper ediquet (spelling i'll never get right). know how to love. a man who has been married to the same woman for more the 50 years and they were and are in love. a shining example of how families should always stick together and that is how the world will become a better and safer heather place. and it doesn't mean nothing bad will happen but with those who love and look out for u, we can make it though life. and it brings me back to what is happing in my life here in dayton today. surround urself with people who want u 2 be all u can be and help u to get to that goal. true friends should be as close family. life isn't easy but should be fun and filled with people and things that inspire u and make u want more. i'll jump off the soap box 4 now

milton

balzcoat — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 02:19:00 GMT

we have a dog now and really i'm not a pet person at all but milton has kinda changed me a little iknow if the old man had not have gotten sick i would not be as into this whole pet/dog thing he barks a lot and smells like dog but hey that's what he's suppose to do. it;s fun to watch the hubby and dog play dress up and strut around the house it's a site to see well that's it me

wow

balzcoat — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 16:40:45 GMT

Couple Divorce After Having an Online Affair... With Each Other Ben Greenman Posted Sep 18th 2007 12:15PM by Ben Greenman Filed under: Bizarre, Sex In what is sure to be one of the craziest cyberculture stories of the year -- and almost certainly a future romantic comedy -- a Bosnian couple is getting divorced after falling in love with each other online. Assuming this story is not a hoax, it's both hilarious and tragic, which makes it even more hilarious. A husband and a wife were having trouble in their marriage. Both of them went online, using fake names, and started looking for soul mates who could help them escape the prison of their dissatisfying and claustrophobic marriage. They found those soul mates, people who understood them through and through, people who let them vent about their marriage and who rekindled romantic hope in their stony hearts. Finally, the two cyberidentities decided to meet in real life. Let's hear from the wife what happened next: "When I saw my husband there with the rose and it dawned on me what had happened I was shattered. I felt so betrayed. I was so angry." The real-world marriage is now over, which is sad, but at least now the man and woman are free to marry the people they fell in love with on the Inter....oh, wait. Never mind.

???????????

balzcoat — Sun, 16 Sep 2007 23:42:24 GMT

a friend asked me to read someones blog because this person was writing a few entries pertaining 2 a night when finnaly this person got that i didn't like him. and that most people didn't like him. to bad he still doesn't get it. most people don't like big mouthes who feel the need to be in eveyones business never mind the fact that he's also annoying and not really likeable. and if i would have known that telling him to go the fuck away and never talk to me again would work i would have done it the first time we met lol but ohwelll. here is one of his blogs some of u may know who this person is and some the the situation and may or may not find it interesting.(the AIDS comet is my fav and once again show how he has no clue what he's talking about) Where do I stand? Category: Blogging Over the last year, people have come and people have gone and things have changed drastically. From June of '06 until now, it seems that alot has gone downhill, and people that I thought were friends, turned out to be nothing but lunatics walking down the street. I believe that everyone you meet comes into your life for a reason. And everything you do, puts you on a path that can take you the right or wrong direction. The choices we make, take us down those roads, and even though friendships may not work out, and what you think is going to happen next doesn't, it is all brought unto us by some higher power for us to learn something from. It seems to me that had I not met a particular group of people, I would never have learned about some certain aspects that I now practice. Nor would I have dealt with some of the crazy things that I dealt with, yet, at the same time, learned from every experience and have gained knowledge from each one, thus making me a wiser, and smarter person. Several people that I once considered friends, are no longer part of my life. I realized, though hurt at first, they really weren't friends in the first place and the only reason that I was around them was because they wanted to gain something from me. And now the secrets. Due to these life changes over the last year, things that I swore I would never discuss and that I would take to my grave are starting to come into the open. Making me stronger, because I've realized that when these secrets come out, most of the opinions that I value, have not or will not change. However, if someone's opinion does change, then that is on them and not me. Also, I have quit going out to the bars. The last time I was out was my birthday on the 26th of August. Haven't been out too late since. Thus, no drama. No dealing with people who live to make others miserable and no dealing with the insanity of people who have no importance to me at all whatsoever. Though I used to care what others thought of me, now, I couldn't give a rats ass. Some of the people that I no longer associate with,, gave me the incentive to stop helping others and look deeply into myself and fix what is wrong with me before trying to help them. Thanks guys. You know who you are, because if not for your blaming me for your problems, that I didn't cause to begin with, well, I would still be trying to help everyone that comes along. Now, instead, I just let people make their own bed..they're the ones that have to lie in it. Not me. Psycho Bitch. I want to thank you for the things that you showed me when I thought that you were a semi-normal person. Luckily, I saw the light before it was too late. We had a good time, and I'm sorry that it will never be like it was. Just get the help you need and btw, You say that you're a spiritual healer. Well you can't cure his AIDS babe. Cancer, maybe but I doubt it. Anyway, I know that parts of this might not be making sense but they are some things that I've been wanting to say for quite sometime now. I just don't care anymore. I should, but all of this needs to be said and done. That is where I stand. And there is more venting coming soon. ok now for me this is somtehing else i love how people really feel that they hold that much of my time and others time (thanx nameless german lol) i think this is the post that sums up how full of them selves some people really feel they are. i find this funny more then anything else cause he was out over the weekend and has been rumered to me moving a way 5 times with the last month lol but everyone else is causing drama in his life lol

closing time

balzcoat — Sun, 16 Sep 2007 22:23:35 GMT

over this last week one of well really my fav bar closed. a placed filled with lots of memories and history. the place where i met most of my freinds here in dayton and where i use to hang with all the people close to me. the owers are good freinds and have opened a new joint with flash and glitz but it's not home well not yet. eh i'm just haveing a moment

responce

balzcoat — Mon, 06 Aug 2007 22:58:46 GMT

ok my life is kinda in a state of crazy and well that's not fun really just my how i am going to make money. and it's caused some shit and well..... the funny thing is the two people it is hurting th most are the least involved in the bull. we really don't have time to deal or care health and well being are way more important then the he said he said and only are nearest and dearest seem to realize this and to me it's just fucking funny reading all the bloggs and post about what we should and shouldn't do and how we should act. it is great to watch so i guess i'll contiue

i'm back

balzcoat — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 22:18:34 GMT

ok i haven't been on in a while so what's new? not much i'm kinda off from work for the summer but i'm working summer camp and haven kina a blast but any whooooo i'm alive well and doing ok and ready to get back to work i think hmmmm later

mark rant

balzcoat — Sun, 06 May 2007 15:39:42 GMT

ok i know i really only blog when i'm bored or just pissy. so today i'm pissy i hate music on myspace pages freindster blackpantet any of these funcking things. STOP if one more of my fav songs in iteruped by someones slow loading page (but the music loads first) i will beat you and since most of u i know and love i feel ok with this:} i have my itunes on almost althe time when i'm on line and it is on party shuffle and i get a great mix of the things i wanna hear. i know we want to share but just tell me and i'll look them up hear them out but STOP cause i wanna here my shit iknow i'm not the only one pissy about this love u all mark;]

Blame Game

balzcoat — Sun, 21 Jan 2007 22:47:05 GMT

blame game fucking assholes i hate fucking assholes stupid motherfuckers who treat people like shit fresh from the hole maybe it's me maybe i'm 2 sensitive maybe i should just chill and not worry but i'm blamed 4 things that i just can't control so what am i 2 do sit back suck it up and let what is just let it be not something i want not something i care 2 be in existence yet it is and like my cercom stances it is what it is i must say key sera sera what ever will be is and i can't u can't change that fact sad though it may be

broken hearted

balzcoat — Mon, 23 Oct 2006 22:38:40 GMT

broken hearted heart broken and unwanted where is the middle ground between the two eater hopelessly in love or not paying u any mind one day maybe it will me my turn 2 attract those who attract me and not have those who fall head over heels for me feel distraught over my nonphysical attraction 4 them and their desire 2 have what they can't have my god what does that say of me my goodness

what #24

balzcoat — Sun, 15 Oct 2006 00:28:51 GMT

what #24 why don't people take their own advice so many are soo fucked up but have soo much 2 say 2 everyone else so much insight as 2 what ur problem is and how u can fix it with their help nine times out of ten they're right witch is really fucked up and makes u think hmmmm why the hell are u not listening 2 ur self why not take ur own advice dam u'd do better 4 urself and the rest of us if u did u make a better person a better advice giver if people could see the change the improvement bettering of urself being worth but all we see is the same fucked up mess day in and day out so take ur own advice it will help

poem 16

balzcoat — Sat, 07 Oct 2006 17:50:42 GMT

poem 16 i been waiten here 4 u searching the world 2 find u girl u know my love is true 4 u felt it from the day i laid eyes on u that our love was heaven sent then it happened i met u from that moment on i change into part of u never 2 morph back that once lived here

......fuck up

balzcoat — Wed, 04 Oct 2006 20:24:59 GMT

......fuck up wake the fuck up time to go or u'll be late 4 the bus thus late 4 the rest of ur life and do u really want that or are u ok with not seeing and making urself all u can be if u stay asleep u won't know what ur missing witch is something that only u can blame u 4 so wake up get up get ur life started making u u