October 31, 2006
my cat is threatening to leave me for her... i can't say i blame him... she has way better hair and glasses to die for....
Battlestar
My TestimonialsMarch 19, 2006
Meet my friend Laura, who is constantly in the process of excising that which is crap from her life and incidentally the lifes of those around her.
It is vitally important to the Great Wheeling of the Universe that you always make sure she is at least somewhat entertained by you. Do not bore her. Or rather, if you suddenly find yourself talking to a hole in the air where she used to be, allow that to be as gentle a reminder as possible that you should not bore the NEXT person. Perhaps, if you roll a natural twenty, she will be your friend. That is the only explanation I have for why I have been thus gifted. June 6, 2005
Tireless crusader! Mistress of the jazz marimba! Indefatigable lover! All of these things may or may not be true about our girl, here. I am certain, however, that the real-life experience is far beyond a mere mortal like me can ever hope to describe. Do yourself the favor and find out! You'll either be glad your did, for it is an invigorating experience--or I'll add your name to the memorial.
September 10, 2004
Nemo, 09/09/2003:
Laura was the homecoming queen AND the student body president. Now, she has gone terribly, fabulously awry. Laura will be the pop in your rocks, the Milhouse in your Nixon, the sniper on your grassy knoll. Now, this ferocious spawn of Cossacks has gone feminist and is a damn good shot with a bolt-action rifle. Nonetheless, she still favors bright colors and adult contemporary--which means that she sings cheery camp songs to the right-wing wackos while defending the womens' clinic. Crawl to her and humbly offer a cookie to this pirate princess of bounty, schnell! Laura, sing me Jackson Browne while the world is burning down!
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The Shotgun of Peace
"Sister Shotgun of Enlightened Compassion"
Battlestar SarcasticaGender
Female
Age
31
Location
about me
I have geek appeal.
When spoken to in low tones and in the right circumstances, Yiddish turns me on. I know all the words to American Pie by Don McLean, all eight and a half minutes. And if provoked, I will sing. Apparently, I can put the pop in your rocks. I've been known to use music by singers and songwriters of the 70's as a weapon. Really. I'm an unrepentant biophobe, but if properly persuaded, I can be quite a trooper when dragged into the natural world. I'm a pioneer pirate caroler. Go ahead, ask. I dare ya'. I am allergic to stupidity and willful ignorance. I have superpower skills that cut through bureaucracies and bullshit like a Samurai Sword. I'm a bleeding heart liberal with excellent aim. And last, but never least, I rock.
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She speaks!
It occurs to me that the insurance industry may be the greatest rip-off artists EVER.
Fri, May 4, 2007 - 1:18 PM
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For example, my health insurance doesn't cover vaccinations, routine visits, health-check ups, birth control, or any form of preventative care. And that's just the small print I've gotten to. However, I pay $150 a month (in addition to my employer's contribution). Can I get a WTF? So this is a business model that thrives: you pay in and their sole duty is to make sure that they never pay out on you... read more
I'm just drowning in busy.
Mon, April 9, 2007 - 11:41 PM
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Stay with me...I'll be back soon. Mwah! 
I had a gentleman friend stay over last night. Peanut was thrilled about this development (for some reason he craves male attention--call it the result of a one "parent' household) until he realized that he was being ousted from his spot on the bed and his position as the center of the universe.
Fri, March 9, 2007 - 1:58 PM
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Never one to be subtle or ambiguous, Peanut proceeded to chew up the bottom of my bed, whine in the middle night, and then shit on the carpet as an early morning message to yours truly. I can onl... read more 
I know that there's more than a few of you in the elite corps I like to call my Tribe Friend's List.
Sat, February 10, 2007 - 11:04 PM
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I need help, yo. I have a boiled wool overcoat (sadly, unlined) that is falling apart. Is there a trick to mending this beyond the traditional stitch and then bitch? (Like, perhaps, washing it and drying it to shrink up the wool first?). Thank you in advance!
Ancora Imparo
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