A man walked into a tavern and sat next to a good looking, smartly dressed young woman perched on a bar stool.
"Hi there good looking, how's it going?" he asked.
The woman looked him straight in the eye and said, "Listen Bud, I'm fine, young, good looking and I'll screw anybody, anytime, anywhere - your place, my place, it doesn't matter. I've been doing it ever since I got out of college, and I just love it!"
"No kidding?," said the man, "I'm a lawyer too! What firm are you with?"

When life hands you lemons, ask for tequila and salt! (This is posted outside my cubicle.)

"No hour of life is lost that is spent in the saddle." Sir Winston Churchill

Best Irish Joke of 2005 -
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!"
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night"
She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."