Ahh-blog-ations

Bicycle Bells Ring for Tracey

beki — Sat, 13 Oct 2007 17:38:16 GMT

Last night I, along with hundreds of other bicyclists, joined in riding a fourteen block route to honor the life of Tracey Sparling, the 19 year old student of the Pacific Northwest College of Art who was killed Thursday afternoon when she collided with a cement truck which had turned into her path. It was quite moving to arrive at the west end of the Burnside Bridge for the ride and watch as so many others arrived to share in mourning a life cut short so needlessly. Everyone waited in near silence as the time approached, the mood was somber - sadness and grief were palpable in the air. Cyclists of all ages came, including whole families with infants in Burleys. The Director of Portland's Bicycle Transportation Alliance, Scott Bricker, spoke to the crowd as he held his infant daughter in his arms, sharing his own concern for his daughter's safety since a vehicle accident is statistically the most likely reason his own child's life would be torn from him. Safety is a vital issue for bicycle transportation and with the help of the BTA and those of us in the community becoming active in supporting efforts at making the streets safer for all who share them, we CAN make a difference. At 6:30 pm the Memorial Ride began. Slowly, so slowly that many simply walked their bikes, the procession moved down W. Burnside. All you could hear was the sound of dozens of bicycle bells ringing. It made me think of Buddhist Temple Bells as we merged slowly toward the crash site. It was apparent that many of the onlookers along the route were aware of what was going on and stood respectfully along the sidewalks adding their silent protest to the that of the cyclists. Others, maybe a handful, who clearly had no idea what was happening, illustrated the angst some drivers have for the bicyclists who share the roads with them. Angry horns honked occasionally and one man began screaming abuse at the peaceful procession moving through one of the largest intersections. I was impressed with the self control of the processionists...it was obvious that the young men in the crowd would have loved to teach this guy a lesson he'd never forget but they handled the situation admirably, and kept the focus of their energies on the purpose of our ride, refusing to be baited into a fight. All along the way you could hear bikers thanking the pedestrians and drivers who patiently waited as the long trail of bikes passed through the busy rush hour streets....bells continuously chiming in the cool evening air. Finally, upon arriving at our destination, it was clear that we were here to honor the life of Tracey. There was a Ghost Bike (a white bicycle) secured to the signal post at the corner of W 14th and Burnside. Flowers and cards...messages and candles...tears and silent prayers were all being offered as a hush descended upon the crowd. It took quite a while for all of the cyclists to pay their respects. The reality of just how fragile we are hits home and we are accutely aware that this could very easily have been any one of us. Our hearts ached for Tracey's family and friends. By coming together in this way, we created an invisible thread stitching us together in our awareness of life, community, and what it means to live with intention and solidarity of purpose in creating a safer future for everyone. And it was also, I think, a deeply meaningful tribute to Tracey's life.

Tragedy on Two Wheels

beki — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 19:58:13 GMT

Part of my transition to a more intentional way of life has included moving more actively toward bicycle commuting. I personally feel that in urban areas, it is vital to our future progress. Sadly, I learned today that a 19 year old bike commuter was killed not far from my home yesterday. She was obeying the law, riding in the bike lane but the cement truck driver making a right hand turn didn't see her. She died instantly. It is so tragic that a life so young and full of promise can be blotted out so easily. It's horrible that someone who is trying to live with intention and awareness of the environment is taken from the world which needs awareness so badly. http://bikeportland.org/2007/10/12/bicyclist-in-fatal-crash-identified/#more-5528 Tonight there will be a Memorial bike ride. I hope that every Portlander with a bicycle will join us in making others aware of the need for caution in sharing the streets with those who are more vulnerable to injury by choosing to commute in an environmentally conscious manner. As I understand it, anyone who would like to participate is invited to meet up at the Burnside Bridge at 6:00 pm. The ride will start at 6:30 pm and follow the route to the location of the accident. I hope to see some of my fellow tribers there.

In The Stillness...

beki — Sun, 21 Jan 2007 17:41:17 GMT

It's amazing what happens when one simply stops searching... Finding You Sitting in the stillness of my heart I stopped waiting For knights Dark eyes Or strong arms I stopped waiting For promises Of forever And gold rings Sitting in the stillness of my heart I found love My own Tied up In beautiful knots So I gently slipped Each cord loose One by one By one…by one… Sitting in the stillness of my heart Unraveled at last Quietly open To life Greeting me hello There you were… In your own stillness With an heart Equally unraveled (photo by a friend)

FaerieFoto Project

beki — Fri, 12 Jan 2007 15:21:59 GMT

My dear friend Cyokha Grace, an amazingly talented woman who is a professional artist, musician and photographer is working on a project designed to change the image of women around the world. She is creating a body of work called The FaerieFoto Project. I'm thrilled to have been invited to participate in this project. Her goal is to show real women of all cultures, all ages and all sizes as women of beauty and strength. The time has come to replace the media's image of what feminine beauty is with a new way of seeing the beauty that is there, all around us, each and every day in the women we know and love. I would like to invite you to visit her emerging project at her webpage: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=144337657&MyToken=27fcefab-9b62-4546-a6d5-d0426a96e354 Women interested in participating in this project may contact Cyokha Grace through the above link.

Isolation

beki — Sun, 03 Sep 2006 00:25:08 GMT

For what purpose driven, passionately driven to consume the ideas of those who have gone before, those who have experienced life and love and pain? Some of these have touched places inside that are still just barely awakening. Oddly, with so many tender places touched, I find my own words flee. The muse has set sail and left me adrift in a sea of feeling with no life raft of expression to keep me afloat. What a strange and surreal place to be. The stillness of it, the silence and isolation of it have created a vortex which sucks me deeper and deeper into a bewildering void - waiting to land. The more I learn, the less I know. Art: "Bella Rose" by Ragen Mendenhall

For Mom

beki — Sat, 13 May 2006 19:20:09 GMT

A Mother's Day Blessing for all mothers...those who are still with us and in rememberance of those now gone... Mom, I miss you...but I know you are with me now and forever. http://www.panhala.net/Archive/Kaddish.html

A Strange Sadness

beki — Sun, 09 Apr 2006 03:27:20 GMT

My oldest daughter called me late last night and the first words out of her mouth were; "Dad's in the hospital." "What happened?!" We've been divorced for almost nine years. He'd completely disappeared from my life and theirs so this was an unexpected shock. "He almost died; they rushed him to the hospital in an ambulance and immediately transferred him to another hospital for emergency quadruple by-pass surgery." Oh my god, heart disease. It's what killed his older sister at the age of 39. "How is he?" "He's doing okay; they just took him off the respirator...Randy's here." Ah yes, his brother must have flown in from Arizona. "I thought you should know, mom." "Thank you for telling me. Do you think he would mind if I came to see him?" We parted on less than amicable terms; I had divorced him after years of domestic violence and needed a restraining order to make sure we would be safe. "Well his girlfriend is here, I think it would be awkward and he hasn't asked for you or anything." "Okay, I'll send something to the hospital; I want him to know I wish him well." "Yes, I think that's a good idea." I'm reeling a bit. To get a call like that out of the blue reminding me that someone who had been a very intimate part of my life and who'd shaped my view of myself for so many years was suffering. Why is it strange that my heart is aching? I find myself remembering when we met. I was just 16 years old and idealistic, he was 18 and so very handsome. We were both wounded souls from alcoholic homes...my father...his mother. We somehow thought we could fix what was broken in each other, that love all by itself would be enough. I grew up with that man and learned a lot of very hard lessons with him and even after all these years and all the heartache, his life has left its mark on me…in me…through me. Our karmas are forever linked and I feel a strange sadness in not being able to go and comfort the little boy I know still hides behind his rage. But all I can do is light a candle tonight...and wish him well.

Roses in the Dark

beki — Tue, 28 Feb 2006 06:37:04 GMT

A fantastic artist and poet by the name of Cory Jaeger-Kenat had begun a project in late 2003 called NINE WISHES. To learn more about the project go to: http://www.italics.us/nineart.htm The amazing thing is that my wish had become part of this project. Following is what she wrote in response to my wish made in behalf of someone who had been teaching me to love myself. I have since learned to discover my roses blooming in the dark... Wish #34: To Love Oneself Completely Let us imagine Accepting ourselves As we were meant to be... All along. Freely walking through the shadows That once we dared not show Discovering Roses Blooming- Buried In the dark. copyright Cory Jaeger-Kenat

Tarot Me This

beki — Sat, 11 Feb 2006 22:45:30 GMT

Over the last two years I’ve been working with the tarot, finding universal consciousness reflected back at me from a Fools journey through a deck of cards - my journey. Last year I found the Temperance card kept appearing over and over. The message rang out loud and clear, I needed a balanced heart. I’d been deeply infatuated with someone and this infatuation had completely overtaken my life to the point where there was very little else in my realm of consciousness. As was inevitable, that relationship ended, but with it so did the imbalance. Today, I find that while there are people in my life whom I love, I am learning to keep a level of objectivity with regard to my “attachments”. Never again will I “put all of my eggs into one basket” emotionally speaking. This year, a new card has begun to appear with amazing regularity - The Priestess. She announces my journey inward to the unknown and secret places of the heart. Here it is I acknowledge the power of something far greater and more profound than the visible world. Deep into the abyss I travel to find my truth, my wholeness, my link to the unseen workings of the subconscious. There is a certain mystery in her presence, a mystery I am now ready to explore. Accordingly, I have begun to find freedom in solitude. Clarity of purpose has begun to peek out from beneath the loosely draped thoughts and emotions that continue to enfold me to become kindling for the fire burning within. A fire ignited by the slow, silent smoldering of hot coals – passions - mine alone. In this fire's flames karmas burn, soul is enriched and all that appears to be true is turned to mere ash. For me, there is no escaping this smelting of my desires... A Fool’s journey circled and endless the labyrinth of knowing deeper than thought deeper than feeling to awareness closer than self where homa fires burn eternal kiss the god-ess waiting there and surrender beg to be consumed smelted and refined hammered and shaped into a band of pure gold to be worn with love by the Divine One

Truth About Heartache

beki — Wed, 25 Jan 2006 08:47:39 GMT

The Perfect Rumi... Should heartache enter your mind and ambush your joy, yet it prepares the way for happiness. Quickly it sweeps all others out of the house so that joy may come to you from the Source of good. It shakes the yellow leaves from the branch of the heart, so that fresh leaves may grow continuously. It pulls up the root of old happiness so that a new ecstasy may stroll in from Yonder. Heartache pulls up withered and crooked roots so that no root may remain concealed. Though heartache may extract many things from the heart, in truth it will bring something better in return. -- Mathnawi V: 3678-83 Translation by William C. Chittick "The Sufi Path of Love" State University of New York Press, Albany, 1983

The Dream

beki — Wed, 11 Jan 2006 00:53:52 GMT

Wow, looks like Rumi is speaking to me again! Had to share today's Rumi from Sunlight, it speaks directly to my "issues" of late. Still dreaming... "The Dream That Must Be Interpreted" This place is a dream. Only a sleeper considers it real. Then death comes like dawn, and you wake up laughing at what you thought was your grief. But there's a difference with this dream. Everything cruel and unconscious done in the illusion of the present world, all that does not fade away at the death-waking. It stays, and it must be interpreted. All the mean laughing, all the quick, sexual wanting, those torn coats of Joseph, they change into powerful wolves that you must face. The retaliation that sometimes come now, the swift, payback hit, is just a boy's game to what the other will be. You know about circumcision here. It's full castration there! And this groggy time we live, this is what it's like: A man goes to sleep in the town where he has always lived, and he dreams he's living in another town. In the dream, he doesn't remember the town he's sleeping in his bed in. He believes the reality of the dream town. The world is that kind of sleep. The dust of many crumbled cities settles over us like a forgetful dose, but we are older than those cities. We began as a mineral. We emerged into plant life, and into the animal state, and then into being human, and always we have forgotten our former states, except in early spring when we slightly recall being green again. That's how a young person turns toward a teacher. That's how a baby leans toward the breast, without knowing the secret of its desire, yet turning instinctively. Humankind is being led along an evolving course, through this migration of intelligences, and though we seem to be sleeping, there is an inner wakefulness that directs the dream, and that will eventually startle us back to the truth of who we are. -- Mathnawi IV, 3628-3652, 3654-3667 Version by Coleman Barks "The Essential Rumi" HarperSanFrancisco, 1995

A Seed of Intelligence

beki — Wed, 04 Jan 2006 14:48:55 GMT

The generous Prophet said it so well: "A grain of intelligence is better for you than fasting and the performance of ritual prayer," because intelligence is the substance, the others are contingent: these two are made obligatory for those who possess the complement, in order that the mirror might shine brightly. Purity comes to the heart from piety. But if the mirror is fundamentally flawed, it takes the polisher a long time to restore it to purity. While in the case of the fine mirror, which is like good soil for planting, a little polishing is all that's needed. Rumi Today's Rumi (from Sunlight) gave me something to think about. The idea that a "seed of intelligence" is better than "fasting and ritual prayer". Going through the motions means little, it is in understanding the meaning of those actions where we find "soil for planting" and growth. "Intelligence is the substance" - "the fine mirror" We all possess intelligence but do we sometimes get stuck in the routine of piety and forget the deeper meanings? Surely, this is something we have all been guilty of - I know I have. Thank you Rumi for calling me back to mindfulness.

My Inner Dragon

beki — Sat, 31 Dec 2005 23:32:44 GMT

Hmmm...according to this little quiz, my Inner Dragon is the Silver Dragon. dragonhame.com/quiz.asp (Which kind are YOU?) Silver Dragon In the war between good and evil, Silver Dragons take the side of the noble and good. When it comes to the powers of Chaos vs. those of Law and Order, your inner dragon is a risk taker and answers to no one. As far as magical tendancies, Magical spells come as natural to the Silver Dragon as breathe from it's body. During combat situations, a true Silver Dragon prefers to defeat opponents by the use of spells and other tactics. Dragon Description: Constantly searching for knowledge, Silver Dragons can be highly unpredictable. Mortals generally have nothing to fear from a silver, but if they seek to harm dragons or the young of any species, silvers quickly prove their reputation as fighters. A Silver Dragons time manipulation skills are unsurpassed and they are extremely skilled fighters as well. The participation of Silver Dragons is often a key role in deciding major conflicts. They are covered in silver-colored scales, as their name suggests, but they are not mirror-like (more of a softer silver). They can change size at will, from the size of a small dog to huge. They go on all fours and can move fairly fast on land although they prefer to fly, often buzzing other dragons as a joke. Silver dragons tend to be solitary while they are young, roaming and learning the ropes, and acquire a partner later in life. This partner doesn't have to be another silver or even another dragon, but immortality is a must (silvers don't prescribe to the disposable mortal theory). A silver generally has no concept of territory or possession. They prefer to roam and occasionally settle down in a comfortable cave for a fifty-year nap. This Dragons favorite elements are: Neutrality, Time, and Power.

Letting Go

beki — Thu, 10 Nov 2005 04:21:20 GMT

Letting go is not about endings it is about showing true concern for another. It is something one does with love and an open heart. Breaking up is about ego trips and pain and anger and baggage - but letting go – that’s a whole different thing. I can say with honesty that I can finally let go. I have reached a place where it is a pleasure to open my heart to another to move forward with joy and celebration for their happiness. Nothing broken - simply a gentle opening of the hand toward freedom, a deep breath and whoosh - release. It was something they once offered me and I now sincerely return the gift. Blessings for wholeness Blessings for healing Blessings for peace Blessings for happiness Blessings forever

Forgiven

beki — Fri, 04 Nov 2005 06:53:27 GMT

Words that strike out to cause pain to another Are simply the throes of ego expressing fear It is understood by those who choose to see Beneath the surface Beneath the pain Beneath the loss A heart true and steadfast sees the ache Sees the tortured struggle to adjust and Rejoices in the effort to rise above the longing To move forward To move on To move at all Cherished memories call forth compassion A mirror from afar to see the reasons why Love sometimes requires distance A time for healing A time for self A time for letting go

Frail and Fractured but Divine

beki — Wed, 12 Oct 2005 12:06:56 GMT

To stumble and fall is not failure or weakness; it is simply an opportunity for God/dess to grasp one’s hand and restore balance. I am being taught in a very soul baring way just how fragile my humanness is but through this frailty I am finding an unwavering link to the Divine. I loved the daily Rumi I found in my email box this morning ~ In consequence of a fractured leg, God bestows a wing. Likewise, from the depths of the pit, He opens a door of escape. God said, "Don't consider whether you're up a tree or in a hole: Consider Me, for I am the key of the way." -- Mathnawi III, 4808-4809 "Rumi: Jewels of Remembrance" Version by Camille and Kabir Helminski Threshold Books, 1996

Kali Speaks

beki — Mon, 05 Sep 2005 17:56:49 GMT

It seems that Kali is telling us She is very much alive and speaking to us. I was deeply moved by the hundreds of people who, when hearing of Katrina’s approach, sent out love and energy and blessings for those in her path. Knowing that such thoughts have great power, it becomes apparent that her fury was not to be diverted by anyone. So what is She communicating? What are we meant to hear and receive from Her? There are huge lessons to be learned. I’m sure as time goes on, more and more of these will become evident both on a personal as well as societal level. The immediate lessons which have struck me through this event involve firstly, the message loud and clear that we cannot fool Mother Nature. The human race over the last century has, for the first time in the history of mankind, become capable of unsettling the balance of this earth’s delicate ecosystem. We must take an honest look at our own contribution to the devastating consequences of this tampering. Kali reminds us that there is an immediate Karmic impact of our disregard for the natural world. This isn’t to say that without our tampering, severe weather or other natural disasters wouldn’t happen but we have to look at how our actions may be contributing to the increased frequency and severity of these natural events. Another message screaming at me is the fact that nature’s fury exposes humankind’s shortcomings. She strips away the pretty words and ineffectual posturing with a single demonstration of ruthless power. Clearly, we humans are painfully aware of our powerlessness in the face of natural catastrophe and we have been aware of this powerlessness since the first day man stood upright on this planet. It is obvious that a storm of this magnitude is going to be devastating and no amount of money or political power in the world is going to stop it. So the lesson is not in our powerlessness, it is in our response to that awareness. These responses before, during and after such an event magnify the things we need to take a close look at in ourselves and the world of illusion we have created. For example, I somehow thought as the storm approached and the announcement was made that there would be an evacuation, a provision had been made for the poor, elderly and sick to escape. This sadly, was not the case. Instead, there was no plan in place to help the helpless in such an event. It wasn’t as though there had been no warning of impending doom as in the case of the recent tsunami. There was simply a criminal disregard for the wellbeing of an entire class of people. What becomes evident is the crisis of conscience in which we have all contributed to a cultural way of life that completely overlooks the needs of the poor and underprivileged. Are we listening? It IS heartwarming to see so many individuals responding to Kali’s voice by stepping up to fill these needs. I pray I won’t soon forget the images of this past year and the Karmic truths these images of suffering have exposed.

Blessings

beki — Wed, 31 Aug 2005 07:06:30 GMT

An amazing thing happened to me today. I was having probably one of the most emotionally stressful and physically draining days I have EVER had in my life. It seemed that everything at work and in my personal life was just falling apart completely. I was suffering from a great deal of personal loss as well as intense professional angst. Finally, about 3:30pm I got a chance to break away for a few minutes to run to the bank and get a bite of lunch when the phones rang. Drats! Eyes rolling, I wondered “Will I ever get a break?!” My salesperson was with a customer so with great irritation, I got the phone. And wouldn’t you know it; there was this sweet little voice on the other end of the line asking if we repair rollershades. Well, of course I go into my usual round of questions; "Did you buy your shade here? How old is it? No, we don’t do that kind of repair, I can refer you to someone though”. I gave her the phone number and then she said; “Bless you! You seem like such a nice person -I’m sending you a blessing.” I smiled to myself and said “Thank You!” Then she said “No, you don’t understand! When I send a blessing, you will have a blessing because I send it in faith. I didn’t call you by mistake; the Lord knew you needed to hear this. You need to be helping women, those who are in need because this country has forgotten how to do it and I know that you will do it.” She said many more things to me, all so very heartfelt and beautiful and inspired. She, an old black woman was sharing her ministry with me the white woman at the other end of the phone line. She added, “We need to do as Christ would, but you are more than that, you ARE the body of Christ – that’s WHO you are, it is how you are able to give to others, by what you have received.” We talked for probably 45 minutes as she recounted the many miracles she had brought about through her blessings, I could feel her love flow through that phone line to me. Little did she know that I had been searching for my path of service - my dharma - little did she know I’d been feeling a strong direction to help women recovering from domestic violence - little did she know I needed her blessing today more than any other day. Yes, I do believe something guided her call to me today. She ended by saying, “Take down my name, it’s Nell – we will meet again and when we do I want you to tell me what your blessing proved to be.” Nell, I want to tell you - YOU were my blessing today.

An Exploration of Spirit

beki — Sun, 28 Aug 2005 03:17:00 GMT

Well I finally did it, I decided to moderate a tribe...(as I sit here white-knuckled at the keyboard, lol) Actually my motivation in doing so was because I have found that almost every cultural tradition has some form of sacred sexuality. By looking at the history and cultural influences of these, I have come to have a greater breadth of appreciation for what sacred sexuality truly is. It is not simply a means of improving sexual performance but rather it is a profound link between flesh and spirit, one that is recognized the world over and in every historical age. This link to spirit is every human's birthright, partnered or not. Our exploration of these traditions is a celebration of spirit! If you'd like, come on over and share the exploration... http://portland.tribe.net/thread/b394309a-692e-4627-848b-b654f4f87b9a?tribeid=7eab5e20-e8cd-40b6-8637-f631e44d40f3&r=10288

Contentment

beki — Wed, 17 Aug 2005 07:58:25 GMT

Such an illusive state of being, this thing called contentment. After all, the reaching for more of anything in this life is practically a declaration of war against contentment. Every one of us does it, we are all reaching for something, whether for awakening, enrichment, purpose, healing, relationship or something as mundane as the next cup of coffee. So how does one make peace with discontent? This is the place where illusion creeps in to claw at self-awareness. Sure, we accept what we see and experience in this life as nothing more than Cosmic illusion handily supplied with enough suffering to ignite the fire of Soul-inquiry within even the most jaded of hearts. But live the illusion, we must. As container for Soul, we eventually learn to make peace with discontent, creating this ever volatile truce between self and Self which we call Life. Surrendering into each moment as ego tenaciously hangs on like a pit bull sinking its teeth into the seat of our pants, we somehow find the delicate pause between flesh and spirit. And from this place of truth we are utterly humbled...but equally exalted. Discontent fuels the fire of change...it is our guide along the path of inquiry. May we never become so content we no longer ask the questions which lead us to discover what comes next.

Finally!

beki — Sat, 06 Aug 2005 05:57:32 GMT

I got the test results today and I am very grateful to have been given a reprieve so no more invasive procedures for now. YAY!!!!!! This is the second time I’ve had to do this kind of “waiting” and somehow, this time around was the most productive. I came away from it with a determination to live my life with even greater fullness than before. This will mean some major changes with regard to career, relationships and more. My clarity of vision has become so much more acute and I feel so very blessed to have been given a mortal lens though which to see beyond this body and edge ever so slightly closer to Soul. I have had so much love come to me through my friends and from my Higher Power that my heart is overflowing! Come celebrate! Let us dance Divine circles in This mortal jig - Sing each moment Through tears With angels’ Voices raised. Embrace this one Breath with jubilation As its succulent drop Of life becomes exhaled.

From the tangled web of thought...

beki — Tue, 02 Aug 2005 07:08:52 GMT

Two days left to find out the test results. Most people would say that the not knowing is the worst part of being told “you might have cancer” but after the first couple of days of “not knowing” I’ve come to believe there IS something to be said for the waiting. I’ve had the opportunity to evaluate my life, what IS working and what isn’t. Where I AM versus where I want to be. I’ve also been able to prioritize what I think is truly important to me (interestingly some of what I thought was important just a few short days ago seems ridiculously frivolous to me today). It may seem strange to view something “so awful” as a blessing – but there it is! Often our “endings” come either too suddenly or too gradually to give any real thought to what comes before that “dot at the end of the sentence”. It’s when we’re given a “waiting” period, one which is either the lull before the storm or the pause before the reprieve, that we can really take stock of things…' What karmic work have I been contracted to accomplish in this life? The past and the future don’t exist so how am I using this moment? There’s no point in being frugal with the endless supply of love the Divine has blessed humans with so I can chose to live and love fully with each of these precious moments I've been given. Nothing to fear, nothing to hide, nothing and no one to blame – such freedom! To look mortality in the face and see nothing there but love…'Hafiz understood ~ Love Is the Funeral Pyre Love is The funeral pyre Where I have laid my living body. All the false notions of myself That once caused fear, pain, Have turned to ash As I neared God. What has risen From the tangled web of thought and sinew Now shines with jubilation Through the eyes of angels And screams from the guts of Infinite existence Itself. Love is the funeral pyre Where heart must lay Its body. (From the Gift by Hafiz) Hopefully, the lessons of this week won’t be lost, should I be given a reprieve. You know, like the man falling off a cliff who calls out to God “Please save me!” and when his pants get caught on an all-too-convenient branch which breaks his fall he looks up to heaven and says “Never mind.”

Love

beki — Mon, 25 Jul 2005 06:07:16 GMT

Four simple letters and a whole universe is formed. There is nothing love cannot accomplish. There is nothing that love cannot destroy. Love’s presence in my life has brought the greatest joy, the greatest pleasure and the greatest pain I have ever experienced. It has made me face my demons, see myself and step beyond my self. It has thrust me into beginnings and endings and the fullness of life. It has challenged me to step over the edge of my terror into reality. Thank you love, for reminding me that I am alive.

Release

beki — Sun, 03 Jul 2005 18:22:11 GMT

Today I am like a bird finally freed from its self-imposed cage to take flight. Someone dear to me lovingly opened the door for me to fly away but I was still trapped by my terror of letting go of the “safety” of my cramped perch. Somehow now as I sit here with the door next to me opened to the sun and birdsong just outside, all I want to do is join those birds in their flight. My heart is smiling at the prospect and fear is finally gone. Why try to hang on to the very things that give us pain - the fears that lock us away from experiencing life fully when by the simplest act of release we can be free? This bird is is ready to soar! The way of love is not a subtle argument. The door there is devastation. Birds make great sky-circles of their freedom. How do they learn it? They fall, and falling, they're given wings. Rumi

Mirrors

beki — Tue, 28 Jun 2005 02:48:55 GMT

Have you ever wondered how others see you? It is a rare gift to be shown your own reflection by someone who cares enough to let you see. This past month has given me the opportunity to take a look at how someone I love sees me. I have to say it has been difficult to view, very painful in fact. But as I writhe in the discomfort of looking at myself through another person’s eyes, I have to admit I appreciate the glimpse I’ve been given. There is an element of deep sadness in learning that the “me in my head” is quite different than the “me” the world sees. So now is the time to begin the work of reconciling the two. Ego and Self will ever collide but with the help of true friends, the impact can help deconstruct one as the other emerges. Thank you friend…'