I know who I am
Comfort in the sunGender
Female
Age
29
Location
about me
Born on April 20th, the cusp of power, I'm all about vertical leaps of faith...an emotionally avoidant weirdo to all but a select few, a person of addictions and extremes, ever shifting firecracker personalities jammed into one body... Treading the line between self-care and self-destruction, everyday.
Find me on myspace at: www.myspace.com/bellabeatfiend or on facebook at: www.facebook.com/profile.php
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Suddenly, Everything Has Changed
I've been here in Seattle since August and I've been pretty content since the move.
Tue, November 25, 2008 - 10:47 PM
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I left the LA corporate world back in May, took some time off to prepare for the big move, and now I'm living the life of a graduate student at the University of Washington. I'm working on a master's of social work. In between school, I'm doing roller derby with a co-ed banked track league called the Sisters of Slant and the Brothers of Banked. Here's a shot of us from a recent photoshoot. Things ... read more 
Two years ago, I had a dream about a wolf. This dream changed the entire course of my life and took me out of the Public Defender's Office to where I am now, in pursuit of a graduate degree that will open doors to work on the federal level with deathrow appeals cases. This dream was about my higher purpose. I didn't realize it, initially, but the meaning unfolded when I participated in a meditation with a clairvoyant and figured it out.
Thu, May 29, 2008 - 1:02 PM
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I won't recap it now, but here is the original blo... read more 
Looks like I haven't logged on tribe in at least four months.. sorry, guys... life takes over, sometimes...
Thu, April 24, 2008 - 7:47 PM
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I was accepted to the School of Social Work at the University of Washington, so I'll be moving out of Los Angeles for good... come August, I'll be in Seattle. This is a stellar program... ranked number three in the country out of a hundred thirty three MSW programs... so I'm both excited and anxious... A plan is in the works...I have a friend in the bay area moving out to Seatt... read more 
Many strange things have happened to me in the last three days.. strange enough that I've only been able to tell a few trusted people...things that have turned my worldview upside down...
Mon, October 8, 2007 - 9:59 PM
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It looks like my path is leading me to a region on the other side of the country.. I just booked a flight to Boston, Massachussetts for the weekend of the 20th. My intuition is leading me far, far away from here. 
There is this white wall, above which
Sun, September 30, 2007 - 10:13 PM
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the sky creates itself -- Infinite, green, utterly untouchable. Angels swim in it, and the stars, in indifference also. They are my medium. The sun dissolves on this wall, bleeding its lights. A gray wall now, clawed and bloody. Is there no way out of the mind? Steps at my back spiral into a well. There are no trees or birds in this world, There is only sourness. This red wall winces continually : A red fist, opening and closing, Two gra... read more 
I am silver and exact. I have no preconceptions.
Mon, August 20, 2007 - 1:07 AM
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What ever you see I swallow immediately Just as it is, unmisted by love or dislike. I am not cruel, only truthful--- The eye of a little god, four-cornered. Most of the time I meditate on the opposite wall. It is pink, with speckles. I have looked at it so long I think it is a part of my heart. But it flickers. Faces and darkness separate us over and over. Now I am a lake. A woman bends over me, Searching my reaches for ... read more  My thoughts are crabbed and sallow, My tears like vinegar, Or the bitter blinking yellow Of an acetic star. Tonight the caustic wind, love, Gossips late and soon, And I wear the wry-faced pucker of The sour lemon moon. While like an early summer plum, Puny, green, and tart, Droops upon its wizened stem My lean, unripened heart. "Jilted", (c) Sylvia Plath Heart with thorns (c) Vladimir Kush 
I read an article today in the Daily Journal that made note of the fact that in the 13 years that the current Public Defender, Mike Judge, has been in office...only one attorney from my office has been appointed directly to the bench. In the judicial selection process in the Los Angeles County superior courts, most, if not all appointees basically come straight out of the District Attorney's Office.
Tue, January 30, 2007 - 3:13 PM
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The system here is inherently biased in favor of the prosecution. Now think of the impl... read more 
I feel like an open book.... waiting to be read.
Thu, January 11, 2007 - 11:34 PM
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Let me tell you why Samhain aka Hallowmas aka Halloween is the most spiritual time of the year for me..why it holds more significance than December and the festivities of Xmas and New Year's.
Wed, October 4, 2006 - 12:21 AM
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The veil between living and the dead is suppose to be thinnest at this time of year.. I used to think this was just spiritual mumbo jumbo and even though I considered myself a member of the pagan community, pagan holidays were more about ritual than observance of anything significant. That is, unti... read more
Kind wordsJuly 28, 2005
Isabel is a total gOOfball!
Oh, wait.. that was that guy at ten year... She was the cute one with the good smiley vibes radiating and blinding me so I couldn't dance and keep my balance. And I always know she's around when I start to fall down.. She knocks me out with her smile and positivity. I wish I saw you more often Isabell! ~ Love and more hugs from SB.. February 15, 2005
isabel !!! is this magical mystical girl who i stumbled upon in the desert under a full moon and funky desert breaks .... like hey there i totally know who this girl is. you rule i want to see more of u lady. i'll send u a msg when i'm heading down to socal in the future.... ^_^
December 30, 2004
isabel, all i can say is no matter how bad the situation this woman brings the mood back to where it belongs, that is if it isnt spectacular allready because she is there. i miss back in the forest parties days her helping pick up everyones trash with us i freaking heart her very much, when you coming back to town girl?!?!
December 29, 2004
A sweet-heart from square one (and 2-10 as well), Izzy's a gem. I stole her pictures and she didn't even mind. Now, if I could only make her reappear. Hugs from SB!
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