My Blog
WHAT THE F**K!!! - INTERNATIONAL FOOD FESTIVAL & FUNDRAISER
Fri, June 27, 2008 - 12:25 PM
Here it goes:
I made an agreement with a local resturant to assist them with a fund raiser for Autism and the International Food Festival. Well, today I had to break my foot off in her a**
Here is the e-mail I sent to her:
Hello Shahida
I want to let you know how disturbing your comment was last night as well as your behavior toward me and my dancers. I also am not the fool you make me out to be. Your comment about standing at the side of the street and getting customers to your establishment indicates your lack of respect for me and my fellow performers. I am not sure what you think "bellydance" is....or what you believe about those who are performers, but I will not stand by and not speak up for this community. Your comment was deplorable.
You also lied to me on several occasions and certainly is not a woman of her word. As of today, I and my dancers will no longer perform at your establishment. I have forwarded this information to the entire Richmond Bellydance Community and if any of them are interested in performing.....it is up to them to do so. I respect the ladies in this community.....and they spend hundreds of dollars and their time in study, lessons, and costumes to represent their expression of this beautiful dance form. What you are trying to do is not only insulting, but represent the person you are.
Your advertisement of an International Food Festival and Fundraiser for Autism was a complete and utter lie and you will be reported to the Autism Foundation today by one of the dancers who is on the National Foundation of Autism Committee. This community of dancers are not a bunch of low lives and hookers. If you ever tell another dancer to stand out on the street again, I hope they tell me and then I will take this to the "next" level.
BatSheva
Intentions are very powerful! Negative intentions are often revealed to those who are positive.
Fri, June 27, 2008 - 12:25 PM -
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25 Comments
25 Comments |
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Fri, June 27, 2008 - 1:49 PM
Oooooo, girl remind me to stay on your good side! I hope you put it in all the way to your knee, lol...
I agree 100% with you, though. All too often, people have the wrong idea about what a bellydancer or bellydance is...and it's always bad. Turn the nasty, backbiting b***ch in for false advertising. Using a charity of any kind in a BS way and slandering the performers deserves it. |
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Fri, June 27, 2008 - 3:47 PM
STRENGTH
That was well said and well written!!!
Yes, even today, we have so many men and women so inknowledgeable about our dance form. With strong people like you, we will chip away at the negativity!!!!! U GO GURL!!!!! |
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Fri, June 27, 2008 - 7:56 PM
from what I understand, she asked dancers to go pose out on the street to attract customers, I want to hear more about it though.
ftr, I dined there that night and there was no festival, there were hardly any people there. I thought it was a benefit, and that there was going to be something special (festival-like) there, but it was an ordinary evening of dining out. It sounds like they were lying about it being a benefit so they could get free dancers, no? I can't be sure until BatSheva weighs in on it. |
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Sat, June 28, 2008 - 6:12 AM
A "benefit" isn't a benefit just 'cos it has banners and balloons; a benefit is a benefit when somebody BENEFITS, when a check is cut at the end of the event and given to the organization that is supposed to be benefiting. Are we 100% positive that THAT has not happened? Also, dancers are ALWAYS asked to shimmy outside and attract attention to the venue. While I think that this is a pretty obnoxious request, why is it any different when the dancer is asked to attract customers outside of an art gallery on Broad Street during First Friday? Sheesh, I know dancers who were asked to shimmy next to the exercise machines during the grand opening of the new fitness complex at University of Richmond. Why was THAT not demeaning? I think we better get a much more clear idea of just what this woman actually did wrong before the slander and the libel and the threats and disgusting images of body parts snapping off inside other peoples' body parts gets too out of hand. THIS is "positive"?
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Sat, June 28, 2008 - 8:52 AM
Geoff, who on earth said that about the event at the University of Richmond. It was not like that at all. The difference between the grand opening of the Fitness Center and standing outside at 8:00 pm waving down cars is really different....don't cha think?
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Sat, June 28, 2008 - 12:22 PM
I know people who danced at the UR event, and I was told that they were asked to dance in an otherwise empty room with fitness equipment ... and no music. But that is not the point I'm trying to make. What this woman requested doesn't sound all that different from the requests of so many other organizers ... but when THOSE other organizers made their inappropriate requests, it became a pleasant opportunity to educate them about belly dance, tradition, appropriateness and professionalism. What exactly did this woman do to make her deserve any less? You basically tore her a new one, and now other people are gloating about it with only a fraction of the whole story. Yuck. I'm asking because I KNOW this place of hers, the building, the old Theresa's Ristorante on Brook Rd., and it is a GREAT SPACE! It's wide open and roomy with good acoustics and lighting and an actual dance floor! So much better than all these other Richmond area restaurants where it's always too dark or too brightly lit, too crowded with diners, and the dancers and musicians are all smashed together between the buffet and the door to the restrooms while the waiters muscle their ways through with platters of spaghetti and Sprite! It seems like a huge shame to poison the relationship between the belly dance community (of which I am a part) and this business when cooler heads could have salvaged the situation and used it as an opportunity to teach this person something about belly dancing instead of insulting and slandering her. That's what I'm saying. Now, like everybody else, I only have a piece of the whole story. What actually happened?
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Sat, June 28, 2008 - 1:17 PM
You are right...it is a beautiful space!
I went to her and spoke with her about starting the show and mentioned there were not that many people here and it was already 8:00. She said and I quote "I know that there are not that many people here, so you go get your girls and go outside and wave down cars so we can get the people in here". At that point...I said to her..."honey, we don't do that" At that point, I told the ladies/dancers lets get this show on the road, we put on the music and started the show. We ate, and left. I did not want them to know. I was very upset! Everything that came out of my mouth was ice. I held in the anger and would not tell the others. She and I had been talking for several days and the dancers had already performed the night before. In our communication, I told her about the styles of dance and that in no way it was anything related to stripping, burlesque or hoochie-choochie. I sat down and explained to her the history of the dances as well as the benefits of the dance. As always, I want to make sure no one get it mixed up. She was also educated on the do's and don'ts of performances in the restaurant inwich she attempted to cross those lines several times on Wednesday night and I had to calm the dancers down. It was not that she was not educated in the beginning....she was quite aware. I thank you for your concern. As far as the U of R is concerned, that was a gig I offered also. There was music and the room they danced in did have a music system. When we were asked to dance among the people, yes with all the talking and laughing, none of us could hear the music, yet that event cannot be compared to telling someone to go outside and wave down cars. I too have a non-profit for Women Veterans and have had benefits/fundraisers. So I am quite aware on what goes on in planning a fundraiser. |
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Sun, June 29, 2008 - 8:55 AM
I may not know all of the story here, but I have to say that on general principle, your actions seem righteous. As a community we are seen in all the wrong ways. Its one thing to dance among customers inside of a building, I have done this (although not professionally), and in doors it is a show of artistic skill and talent. Once you step out onto a street it has the potential of being 'cheapened'. I have performed at festivals, and while it was during the day and in front of families, it is still quite different from being inside of a semi-private space. Combine this with the late hour and the fact that they were told to flag down cars and I would say that you were essentially being asked to 'get out there and advertise your services'. Not only would I have been insulted, I don't know that I would have been professional enough to continue. I applaud your professional attitude and restraint!
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Mon, June 30, 2008 - 5:27 PM
I must say that I have also been the recipient of the request "maybe you girls could dance outside and pull in some customers". This is a statement made out of ignorance and requires a thorough explanation on the part of the dancer. I simply let them know that I don't do that. I let them know that it cheapens me and my dance form. I ask them if it would seem appropriate to have ballerinas(sp?) dancing around outside to drum up business for the Richmond ballet. I've found that most people truly don't understand what an insulting request this is until you break it down for them. I've also found that when you give examples like ballet and other well respected art forms, they seem to get it. I like to think of it as my way to contribute to the general public's knowledge, understanding, and respect for Middle Easter dance. I think we all have to do our part to establish bellydance as a dance form worthy of respect in the minds of the public. I also think the space is lovely and would hate to lose it. Perhaps after things die down....
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Mon, June 30, 2008 - 7:47 PM
Think about it:
If the Richmond BD community shunned EVERY venue and EVERY event organizer that EVER asked dancers or musicians to do something that they deemed unprofessional or inappropriate, if we all torched off angry emails and posted potentially libelous threads and rallied the wrath of the entire community against the alleged offenders ... there would practically be nowhere left to perform. How many times have dancers been asked to whip up attention OUTSIDE the art galleries on Broad Street, in the dark? I've been there, I've seen it, I've been asked to perform out there myself ... dancers and drummers doing their thing out in the dark, dirty street for the entertainment of drunks and passing cars ... So should we shut down all relations with the galleries, too? I mean, you should have heard what grave insult was delivered to bellydancedom at the last Fourth Friday ... Off with their heads, too? Where does it end? Aren't we applying our righteousness a little unevenly here? Also, just as importantly (if not more so) ... are we any closer to substantiating the claims that the restaurant in question was indeed fraudelant in their claims to be running a benefit for the autism organization? THAT is a big deal that should be addressed, too. IF this place is crooked, I will support the community and steer clear of it in the future. But I need more than what has been prsented to date. It WOULD be a shame to lose this space ... |
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Tue, July 1, 2008 - 5:10 AM
I am not trying to start confusion here. This was my experience. It is my responsibility to protect the ladies I am responsible for as well as the dance when has it has something to do with my planning and arrangements. If others see fit to do "whatever" the that's them. As for me, when I request to see paperwork, educate the individual about the do's and don'ts, and recruit people to perform at a venue, I am responsible for the safety and welfare of those who I have recruited. Its a free country. If others feel its okay to do certain things (that many bellydancers before us have worked so hard to help people gain the respect of the dance and the cultures) that counter- act others endeavours.....then there is nothing that can be done to force the hand of reason.
Do what you will. I prefer not to play a role in that. |
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Tue, July 1, 2008 - 5:23 AM
To add....Whenever I do a Fundraiser for WVS, not only do I have information about the non-profit, but I also give receipts to patrons who make donations as well as the contact information and non-profit identification. That way, the patrons are able to claim the donations on their tax returns.
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Tue, July 1, 2008 - 9:48 AM
Also, when you donate t-shirts, talents, etc., your nomal rate can be deducted from your taxes as long as the organization has a 501(c)3 non-profit status. I love volunteering my services for good causes.
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Tue, July 1, 2008 - 1:47 PM
I also want to say this....It is not my intention nor my desire to give the bd community a bad name. But it is my responsibility to uphold and maintain the integrity of the art, the dance, and its culture. As a community, if anyone cheapen yourself, one gives others permission to devalue you, the art, culture, and the community as a whole.
I prefer to maintain my integrity and the integrity of those I work with. |
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Wed, July 2, 2008 - 1:31 PM
International Food Festival & Fundraiser
I was at Citrine Cuisine on Thursday. I had envisioned a festive atmosphere,decorations, with a table of food samples, and information about autism. There did not appear to be a festival, or even a festive atmosphere (excepting the bellydancers) nor was there much international food--just a couple of items on the menu, which was otherwise standard American fare. The host did inform me when I arrived that all the proceeds from the bar were going to be donated to Autism charity. I didn't see the event advertised beforehand, except on BatSheva's bellydance meetup page.
I can see why BatSheva would be angry about this, and even more angry when asked to flag down customers on the side of the road. BatSheva, I understand why you would not want to continue under disrespectful circumstances. Indeed, Shahida immediately solicited me for charity work after your fallout, so really I think they are looking for dancers to work for free and I will not work for free there, considering the mismanaged fundraiser. Christi |
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Wed, July 2, 2008 - 6:37 PM
Which is why I MUST ask again:
Are we ANY closer to substantiating the claim that the restaurant owners were fraudelant in their alleged intent to run a benefit for the autism organization? Yes, it might have been a VERY poorly organized and advertised event (of course, we NEVER have any of THOSE in the Richmond belly dance community, do we?), but is that enough evidence to accuse the woman that "[her] advertisement of [a] ... Fundraiser for Autism was a complete and utter lie"? This is an important issue that must be either proved or refuted conclusively. Period. |
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Wed, July 2, 2008 - 8:14 PM
Hi Geoff:
No, there is no proof that I know of that the restaurant or Ms. Shahida intended fraud. It did give the appearance of such. Perhaps it might be best to ask Ms. Shahida herself to explain. Christi |
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Thu, July 3, 2008 - 7:25 AM
Uh, would it in any way complicate the accusations if it became known that Shahida and her husband have an autistic child and belong to a number of autism-related organizations both here and in their native Pakistan? I'm not saying that a parent of an autistic child is incapable of defrauding an autism fundraiser ... but I find it extremely unlikely.
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Thu, July 3, 2008 - 10:20 AM
By the way ...
"Perhaps it might be best to ask Ms. Shahida herself to explain." SHAHIDA shouldn't HAVE to explain; that is supposed to be the responsibility of her ACCUSERS! Whatever happened to INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY? |
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Thu, July 3, 2008 - 1:07 PM
Dear Geoff,
I've simply reported how the situation appeared to an observer on Thursday the 26th. It really did appear sketchy, despite Ms. Shahida's good intentions. I don't think that asking Ms. Shahida for an explanation is unreasonable. But the tone of this discussion and the crass language is unacceptable to me. I cannot continue. Christi |
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Wed, July 30, 2008 - 8:03 AM
I'm also thinking that given the comments here regarding the "event," there is enough to ask Ms. Shahida for her explanation. Geoff's adamant defense of this person makes me wonder, why is he so hi gear on this point? Circumstantial or hear say, though the evidence may be, Shahida's got some 'splainin' to do...regardless that Geoff thinks otherwise. BatSheva had to explain herself and her art form to Shahida, therefore Shahida should do the same in regards to her "fundraising" practices.
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Thu, July 31, 2008 - 11:31 AM
Sheesh, are we STILL hammering this out?
"Geoff's adamant defense of this person makes me wonder, why is he so hi gear on this point?"
What are you implying? And what gives you the impression that I am "hi gear"? Have we met before? While this may seem "hi gear" to you, this is generally who I am and how I express myself. Read the above posts more carefully and you should be able to glean my main points pretty easily; I have nothing to hide. I don't know Shahida, nor have I ever met her. I did, in fact, attend a belly dance event at her restaurant last weekend, and both the space and the show itself exceeded all expectations. I hate to see a performance venue lost, a potential business relationship squandered and a person's reputation slandered under circumstances as they have been explained to me above. That's all, I swear. Now, I must go to the bank and deposit all this bribe money that Shahida gave me to defend her on Tribe ... |
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Thu, July 31, 2008 - 7:42 PM
Amazing!!!
I know there are not many "people" in the Richmond BD community who really "know" me. I am not one who sit back and whine or complain about the behavior of others except those who I trust, and many are very aware of how I carry myself in public and how I do my best to treat people with dignity and respect. When I call anyone on the carpet, you can bet your "sweet bippie", for me it was a "must do". As far as being accused of slandering someone, this is not the case. What I have stated on "my blog" is my experience and I have every right to speak my truth.
I don't need to "answer" to anyone about what I wrote and I definately have no reason to assume or lie about anything. I am very happy things went very well this past week with the entertainment and everyone is happy with the outcome. I refuse to allow anyone to disrepect me or those I've asked to assist in any endeavor. The last time I talked to my father, he was still alive in North Carolina. As I mentioned in the the first write up...if anyone wanted to take on this gig, they can have it. I am confident, what was said to me, will not be said to anyone else again. I am closing this discussion and wish everyone happiness in knowing every dancer as well as the dance form from now on will be treated with RESPECT. Many people can talk, boast, blow, and shoot bull, but until you have walked in "my shoes", don't be so quick to judge. I am not a child....I am a very grown, educated, and well travelled woman. I'm nobody's dummy. I am aware what was said to me and its tone will never be said to a man or a majority. BatSheva |