Upcoming Gigs, No time for sleep =)

What an amazing experience this past weekend! I cant stop smiling!
Come out, decompress, and mingle with the PEX Family this weekend. Justin Paul & I are going to be opening for Younger Brother/Shpongle/Prometheus @ TLA This Saturday July 11th


Please sign up to the list for a chance to win free tickets to the event.

playlooprecords.com/2009/07/...loop-djs/

The TLA
334 South Street
Philadelphia, PA 19147

The meet up location for the tickets will be 5th and South probably around 7:30pm. Make sure you arrive early for support!


Cheers,
Big Jawn

What I've been upto....

working on our entry for the Kensington Kinetic Sculpture Derby on May 16th 2009!

kksd09.blogspot.com/

Rebirth - Mix 3 of 3

Life is constantly changing and new situations always unfolding and I am at a point where I can finally release this. The mix has gone through many cuts, edits, splices, tweakings and rearrangements. I look at when I 'finished' this months ago to now and its completely different.

This is the last mix of A Shamanic Encounter and have decided to rename this from Celebration to Rebirth. Time to move on and see what other curiosities await.

Rebirth - Big Jawn
Mix 3 of 3 from A Shamanic Encounter
Art By Discount

Link:

thephiladelphiaexperiment.org/ufi....mp3



I Love You,
Big Jawn

Need a ride from the playa Sunday night/Early monday mornin

My flight is 5:15 from reno Monday =/ I have to be back at work Tuesday major bummer.

Is anyone leaving sunday night/monday early morning that wouldnt mind an extra person? Ill split costs and driving.

Thanks
BJ

Life Currently

Over the past few months or so, my attitude and thoughts generally have been either neutral or negative. I come across as arrogant sometimes, trying to prove my point. A tendency to be critical rather than positive. Being afraid to interject my feelings into a situation for fear of what people would think. Backing down way too quickly over situations that I had valid feeling about. Overall just trying to let people know that I am me, my feelings, and my actions, to connect with others in meaningful relationships, to share knowledge and learn new things but failing completely at it. Instead all coming out as what I described above, negative, arrogant, passive and distancing.

I want to be myself, but when trained 40 hours of the week to be something that I am not it really is hard to turn that off. I feel that the time spent out of my 9-5 I am learning something 'new' about how to behave. This 'new' behavior is actually who I am but I don’t allow myself to be it. It’s been 4 different jobs now, 4 different facets of the path I choose, and I have come to the same point in my emotional mental and physical health. Generally depressed, gaining weight, effecting relationships with friends, and worrying about things… Always feeling like I acted inappropriately outside of work in social situations, like I did something wrong around others…

After reflecting I have realized that my daily surroundings, specifically engineering have cased me to turn into this and I allowed it... but for what? I went into it originally with ambition that it would satisfy my scientific as well as my creative mind. After seeing what this industry as a whole operates, I can only conclude that it is unhealthy for me. It is unhealthy because I am surrounded by an industry that I can not express myself for who I am, a place where I constantly have to watch my ass day in and day out. Turning this off once I leave those office doors is becoming impossible for me…

I definitely notice a different behavior when I am not around my job for extended periods of time during holidays, community, vacations, in the shop, working on music ect. This isn’t healthy for me to not express myself on a daily basis. All of this negative destructive behavior that I have fallen into is my soul repelling this constant denial of who I really am.

I want to get out of this industry, but I cant for a few more years. Reality is that 9-5 its my financial backing right now. I cant just let that go. I am also coming to terms that I may have 'wasted' 5 years of my life pursuing the wrong path. This path though, I feel has taught me more about myself and what I need in the future. I still cant help but feel guilty though turning around and starting a new career. This guilty feeling I am sure of is part of what I have been trained to become, feeling negative for something I truly want.

I fear for that blind step outside of engineering, carving a new path but I am m at the point right now to say ‘Fuck it’ and go for it. I only have one shot at this life. I am not spending it in constant oppression.

This is a viscous cycle that I am making exhausting efforts to get out of. I am finding as many outlets that satisfy my emotions and creative drive as I can one step at a time. I go to bed every night thinking what can I do differently to break from this hard shell that has formed though the years.

I am trying…
I want to change.

Healing Mix 2 of 3

Sickness mix 1 of 3 was cerebral and spacey, down tempo almost depressing sounds with an ever growing energetic vibe towards the conclusion. Following on that growing energy comes my next installment. For your couch surfing enjoyment, to heal what was once sick, I bring you:

Healing – Big Jawn
Mix 2 of 3 from A Shamanic Encounter
Art By Discount
Link bigjawn.podOmatic.com/entry/2...43-08_00



Tracks including:

Contribution For a Healthier Mind - Ailo
When Shall I Be Free? (Extended) - Shpongle
L.S.D. (Ott’s World Sheet of Closed String Mix) - Hallucinogen
Roll Your Own - Tripswitch
Silver (Robot Baby Mix) - Tripswitch
Evil And Harm - Younger Brother
The Unexpected Visitor - Shulman
Chinese Radio (Beijing Taxi Version) - Puff Dragon
Neon Tetra - Umberloid
Ground Luminosity (Ott's New Yoghurt Loom Mix) - Entheogenic
Spacebaby - Gargoyles
Rouge Bagel (Twisted DVD Mix) – Ott

Run Time: 67 mins

Sit back, cozy up and enjoy the ride.

Mix 3 of 3 titled Celebration will be released in a few months. I will also be release simultaneously with Celebration a complete uninterrupted 3 hour mix of A Shamanic Experience… Stay tuned.

New Mix

Thanks to Justin for setting up the PEX podomatic site, and thank you PEX for letting me kick off the site with my new winter mix. Its part 1 of a 3 part series entitled "A Shamanic Encounter." First installment 'Sickness' is a very cerebral, downtempo set that slowly grows with energy.


Track listing
1 - Big Jawn Center Yourself Mix
2 - Once Upon The Sea Of Blissful - Shpongle
3 - Together, We Are... (Scann-Tec Rmx) - Sundial
4 - ASD - Scann-Tec
5 - Airstream - Bluetech
6 - Leaving Winter Behind - Bluetech
7 - A Whole New Way Of Looking At - Abakus
8 - Brain Activity - Talamasca
9 - Pagan Dream Machine (Vibrasphere Rmx) - Entheogenic
10 - Spring Arrives - Azam Ali
11 - Silver (Ott Remix) - Tripswitch


PEX Podomatic - pex.podomatic.com

Direct link to the MP3 - pex.podomatic.com/enclosure...-08_00.mp3


Cheers,
Big Jawn

I want one of these

Big Johns Big Beard


seriously though, a cap with a built in beard? how can you go wrong?

www.doobybrain.com/2007/11/...evisited/

In Memory of Saydey

This morning around 6am after many hours in the emergency room, Saydey passed away. It was undetermined if Her passing was due to heat exhaustion, head trauma, or if she got into something bad in my new apartment.

I woke up last night with a sense of something wasn’t right. Sure enough I found Saydey out of her cage under the couch just laying on her side panting. I discovered that the AC was broken so I figured she was suffering from heat exhaustion. I gently picked her up, she felt like a rag doll and she looked dazed. I sat with her in front of a fan to try and cool her off to see if that helped. She responded but began to periodically spasm and make her hurt noises. I rushed over to Penn Veterinary ER and layed with Saydey for quite some time. The doctor diagnosed her, and I sat with her some more. Eventually Saydey began to spasm very frequently so I immediately got a doctor. The worst part was hearing her make this noise of pain as the doctor was taking her away for the last time. Her heart rate dropped and eventually she passed early in the morning.

Opal is without a sister now, I am going to have to spend extra time with her so that she doesn’t get lonely, as chinchillas do. She no longer has a fellow snuggle bug to cuddle up with at night.

I am really torn up by this, and this is very hard for me to write. It is surprising just how much this is affecting me. Their little personalities really have grown on me. Saydey was the adventerous one of the two. Always checking out new things and jumping off higher ledges. Perhaps this will force Opal out of her timid shell. Lots of good memories chillin with Saydey.

I figure Saydey is in a better place now, eating mad raisins, exploring, beboppin, wall hoppin, and munching on some delicious index cards.

I will miss you Saydey

Love,
John

Much Thanks

Thank you everyone who made it out to my birthday BBQ Andy, Joe, Hugh, Denise, Lee, Tim, Tim, Tims Brother, Leah, Lucas, Lucky, Tori, Lou, Lauren, Mia, Dave, Dave's Brother, Freedom, Rachel, Lina... am i forgetting anyone? Great times, great food, great memories, and a few scattered showers to boot!

There is so much positive energy from everyone. I am blessed to be a part of this community and I love you all. Even if i was one of the few rocking the tacky outfit

I loved how Lee thought that we were just rocking our normal clothes, haha

Cheers everyone