Stage #1 of a three part process.....

i often revel in the power and magic of my own hands. my greatest tool they are. and when i sit beneath a woman, my hands cupped and waiting. i remember. i remember everything. who we are. what we are. where we are. woman is power. birth is the portal. my hands are simply there to hold. my hands are my tools. and when i hold that life in my hands i feel honor and i feel joy. and when i see how close to death i sit. i feel humbled and i feel small. but always i feel gratitude.

what i tried this last year: leaving san francisco, living in brooklyn new york, loving a man, living with a man, moving to new mexico, following my dreams, growing my first garden, accepting that loving that man meant not leaving room for loving myself, moving into a place all alone (no roommates or lovers), singing with beautiful women, playing the little tikes plastic piano, acting like a fool, and catching babies.

what i learned this last year: oh so very much! how much i love san francisco, how much i don't love living in brooklyn new york, how much i love the mountains, trees, and open expansive spaces, how to honor myself, how to accept and love the people who drive me nuts, how to grow a garden, how to pick cherries off a tree, how to have genuinely casual sex, how to balance my need to nurture others and take care of myself, how to say yes, how to say no, how to be alone, how to accept that most things are beyond my control.....

what i anticipate this coming year: love and learning. and lots of it.

ix chel is the ancient mayan moon goddess who reigned supreme throughout the yucatan peninsula, in southern mexico, and as far south as el salvador, for more than a millenium. she is also called the queen, our mother, the white lady, and the goddess of becoming. although married to the sun, she is fiercely independent, allowing no one to own her: she remains free to come and go as she chooses. as a fertility goddess, she makes women fruitful and sends fertilizing rains to earth. she is particularly honored as a patroness of childbirth and a healing goddess of medicine. like many moon goddesses, she is the patroness of weaving. ix chel, like the waxing and waning moon, is comfortable with all sides of life. her energy is midwife to our own creative energies.

we dont see things as they are. we see things as we are. ~anais nin