Orien told me I was "collecting data." I suppose he's right. I have been prancing across the nation, deconstruction old patterns, intentionally, shamanically throwing myself in uncpmfortable situations. I have had a few realizations, a few break downs, and many moments of joy. Most of my joyous moments happened when I came home again.

Coming home was something I was petrifyed of doing when I left. I went as far as to break the curse of "returning to the Shawangunk mountains" by throwing not just a stone into the Wallkill River, but a boulder (aided by my old housemate Justin and a few glasses of beer). Results: I still returned. Why? Because this is my home and I had to leave to realize just how proud I am to be here, among the people I love, the mountains that, no matter how many times I climb them, still seem to take my breath away.

I recognized my strengths and weaknesses when it comes to realtionships, to other people, to myself, to lovers, to partners, to my environment.

Imani told me I had a lesson in realizing just how healthy I am.

Jacob said to me: "I suspect that is what you do, hop around touching things, pouring your light into them."

At least that's what I try to put out there...helping people recognize their beauty within. Only this time I am doing it with grace and caution. I will not let go of myself in the process. Because really part of the process is for me to realize my own beauty...a beauty I allowed others to cloud, shadow and try and take from me.

Ghandi said: "be the change you want to see in the world." So I'm trying. I am trying by way of my everyday interactions with people. There is a war OUT THERE. Where we CAN't see it. AND there is a war IN HERE. Inside ourselves that we choose to ignore.

Pete said he wanted to do something huge and change the world.

The way we heal is through our connection with each other. The way we cahnge the world is in our everyday reactions and interactions with each other and our environment. We have choices. We can choose to treat each other with love, honesty and respect, or we can choose to speak violently, harshly, lying about what is true for ourselves. The way of violence will perpetuate the war inside us and overseas...and on our streets...

Ani said: "The world owes me nothing, we owe each other the world." I am dedicated to reminding and reflecting to people their beauty and talents, and truth and their essence. We are all artists...it's finding our medium that sometimes takes a bit too long. Therein lies the struggle.

Tori Amos said "Diversity Creates Wholeness." And this is what I learned on the road.

And this is why I am creating this page: to honor the people in my life who have shown me parts of myself I didnt know existed...the dark and the light. And this page is also dediacted to the parts of myself that sometimes go overlooked and overshadowed.