I hate being so... ugh, I don't even know how to explain this stupid shit... I fucking hate having so many secrets. I hate having to keep my whole life a secret. Sure, people know a bit about me... but no one knows who I really am. I swear, I got a fucking secret from every one I know. And I'm sick of it. But I know I can't tell anyone what's going on. So, I don't have a clue what to do. OH the fucking joy...

Is it merely walking through each day, consuming and destroying? Or is there possibly more to this "life" thing people keep mentioning?

I have just spent the last two days in almost complete solitude (since I am sick) but just now a whole pack of kids came in here... I was feeling quite in tune with myself, but when they came in I got rather stressed (not to blame them) and I still am even though it was almost half an hour ago.... There energy was so intense, and it didn't help that it was coming from five different sources... whew, I feel so drained now... well, I have done the required amount of complaining now, so I guess ... read more

Why is it that people never have time for anything fun anymore? They just zoom around, being robotic, going through their daily tasks, "living" their lives, empty.... what is it with the modern that makes people like this? Why can't they ever have fun?

People have told me everything happens for a reason. I used to ignore this saying, thinking it was merely another of those annoying things adults tell you so that you “grow up” faster. Two summers ago, a series of events came through my life. These events all had to do with loss and betrayal. Unconsciously I began to deny, and hate, the concept that things happened for any reason at all. Things were in no cycle whatsoever and everything was in consistent chaos. Now, however, things have begun... read more