Obviously, a blog must be written about last night. Here goes. Last night, I was talking to a friend of mine via text message-- Because they were supposed to come over to my house. They were at a local concert not far from my house, so I joined them. It was nice to get out of my house and see so many people I recognized, so many of my friends. The music was surprisingly awesome as well. The guys from the band were both attractive and interesting people. Shortly before midnight, the concert broke up and everyone went their seperate ways. Two of my friends and I wandered to one of their houses, where we quickly got bored and went to my house instead. They call up Shalyn and convince her to get her ass down to my house, and we all just hang out... For a while. Then the friend of mine who was originally coming over to my house anyways goes to fall asleep in my closet. And I decide I should probably go to sleep as well, seeing as I have to be at work by 11 am. So, I end up joining him. And gradually, things get out of hand. But I suppose that if you have two deprived people in the same sleeping-area, it's not too surprising. But anyways, after all this had happened, I was lying in my closet. And I could very faintly hear the three of them talking in the living room. And I could tell they were talking about me. But I couldn't hear exactly what they were saying. But they were talking about me, in my living room. I felt so unbelieveably stupid and hurt and useless. In that moment, I honestly think that if I'd had access to a razorblade-- I might have used it. I just laid there and listened and let my heart ache. I felt like I could never face any of them again, like they didn't respect me. I was just a subject of discussion. Nothing more. I felt so many horrible ripping sensations at once, and I wondered how I would get up in the morning and see them, talk to them... Before I went to work. Somehow, I eventually fell asleep. And he never came back. My alarm was set. But when I wake up, it's 1pm. And my alarm is switched to 'off'. Which means that one of my friends turned it off, and didn't wake me up-- Fully knowing I had to go to work. All three of them were just gone. Gone. And somehow, that made me feel worse. I just sat there and thought to myself that I had fucked things up. That I'm going to be fired. I don't know what to do or say. I'm afraid of losing my friends, and my job. Of losing my sanity.