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Traits for Finding a Lifelong Mate (by Clarissa Pinkola Estes)
Mon, October 8, 2007 - 10:41 AM1. Choose someone as though you were blind. Close your eyes and see what you can FEEL; their kindness, loyalty, insight, devotion, their ability to be concerned with you, their ability to care for themselves as an independent being.
2. Choose a person who has the ability to learn, explore new ways of doing things and perceiving things, who is curious, and who is EVOLVING.
3. Choose someone who is willing to be like you....strong like a tree, but flexible in the wind. Someone who is sensitive and who has the ability to see what is around them......who is AWAKE and alert.
4. Chooses someone who when you hurt them, they are willing to show it; and when they hurt you, they see it and are sorry. Choose someone who can perceive your pain and feel for you about it.
5. Choose someone who has an INNER LIFE that they love, who is on their own journey - and who wants a partner on their own journey.
6. Choose someone who has similar passions as your own. A relationship is for making similar memories together, doing things TOGETHER - this is the GLUE of the relationship during hard times. It can be very simple.
7. Choose someone who has similar VALUES about children, money, marriage, family. This decreases the friction in relationship. These need to be worked out before there is a long-term commitment. When the pragmatics in the relationship are mostly taken care of, it is much more easy to SOAR.
8. Choose someone who is COMPASSIONATE, willing and able to listen, who gives equal time.
9. Choose someone who can LAUGH at themselves, or who can stop an argument in mid-sentence.
10. Be able to overlook certain faults and characteristics. KNOW WHAT YOU CAN LIVE WITH. Anything that takes a person away from their soul life, or not telling the truth, or a person who cannot face you after making a mistake and who tries to cover it over in a dramatic, large way instead....this would be starting a relationship on a swamp ground.
11. Be FRIENDS, not just lovers. Are you willing to do for your partner what you would do for your good friend?
12. ****VERY IMPORTANT*****...When you choose, choose someone who makes your life bigger rather than smaller."
Mon, October 8, 2007 - 10:41 AM -
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6 Comments
6 Comments |
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Mon, October 8, 2007 - 11:16 AM
Most excellent material. I ran across it once and will make a copy this time.
If not for this life at least for the next...joking Thanks. D. |
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Unsu...
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Mon, October 8, 2007 - 3:27 PM
#8 got me mine and #4 and #9 keeps our relationship going! :)
Thanks for sharing this important list. |
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Mon, October 8, 2007 - 7:51 PM
I read this when I was with my boyfriend and he didn't show when I hurt him and he couldn't see how much he was hurting me and he wasn't sorry. It was sad. But it certainly is essential. It's empathy, it's very hard to be with someone who can't show empathy.
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Tue, October 9, 2007 - 2:07 AM
yep to what the last poster said...it took me awhile to realize that what he SAID he was and what he ACTUALLY was were two different things...an empathetic warrior for the earth and womankind he most certainly was not in his actions....hard lessons to learn, but very good words to live by,
thanks for posting... |
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Unsu...
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Thu, October 11, 2007 - 9:18 AM
lovely read
thanks for posting, how easy it is to forget how simple the answers are...
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