This graffiti animation by Blu is both amazing and artful (by which I mean not just pretty to look at, but visually and conceptually interesting). If you have a few minutes, I highly recommend viewing it.

www.vimeo.com/993998

According to all the astronomical data ever gathered, we live in a universe full of radioactivity, toxic gasses and temperatures so extreme that they alter the very nature of matter - not to mention black holes with gravity so strong that they bend and devour space and time, the very fabric of reality. The only reason that our atmosphere doesn't get blown off the planet is that the Earth's molten iron core creates a magnetic field that acts as a forcefield, diverting the solar winds (creating the celestial light show known as the aurora borealis). The only reason that the earth's rotational axis remains stable enough to maintain temperatures capable of supporting life as we know it, is that the gravity of our orbiting moon holds it in place. This gravity is also responsible for the ocean's tides and, without intertidal zones to provide an alternately wet and dry habitat, sea life might never have evolved into the amphibious, and subsequently land based, lifeforms which were the distant ancestors of humanity. Our moon, created from large chunks of the Earth's crust, blown off into space by the impact of a massive asteroid, and drawn together by their own gravity, makes life possible on our planet - but only because the Earth happens to be the perfect distance from the sun.

Add to this the fact that we live in the healthiest and most prosperous era of humanity, which may soon draw to a close due to the impending climate disaster, and it's hard to deny that our existence, here and now, is a gift of miraculously unlikely proportion.



Thanks to Kalib, for talking about all of this with me - our discussion really put life in a new perspective.

A snapped this photo, last night, of three mysterious glowing orbs in my studio.

(A larger version is in my photos.)

The air is alive with rebirth, renewal, light and color - spring is here!

I feel like running, naked, in a filed of flowers, on a warm, sunny, afternoon.

"Early to bed, early to rise - makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise."

Now that I know what a lecherous old womanizer Ben Franklin was, his words take on a whole new meaning!

Sunday, I went to see the Olafur Eliasson 'Take Your Time' exhibit at SFMOMA, with a friend. There were some fascinating installations there, but viewing them required quite a bit of waiting in line. One piece involved peering into a dark hole in the wall. This hole was about the size of a window, so viewers leaned on the ledge and bent over to check out what was inside. I joked that the real exhibit was everyone inadvertently displaying their ass to the people next in line. We enjoyed the denim clad buns of the hot blond in front of us and then, when she was done looking, we took a turn showing off our own tight jeans. Inside the hole was a black wall and four opposing mirrors (on the floor, walls and ceiling). We saw hundreds of copies of ourselves peering into the darkness from glowing rectangular openings, for miles in every direction. If you've ever seen the movie 'Cube,' this looked the same as when the protagonists reached the boundary of their puzzle-like prison and peered out into the gap between the Cube and the endless wall that enclosed it, just a few feet away. I think I'm going to build a small version of this simple but stunning optical illusion at home.

www.sfmoma.org/eliasson/data/index.html

Anyone interested in a free animatronic whale? It weighs 2 tons and is 45 feet long:

losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/z...7.html

Happy Fat Tuesday, Mardis Gras, Carnivàle, etc., etc.!

I rented Blades Of Glory, last night, through iTunes. I haven't laughed that much in a long time. It was better than Zoolander! The digital rental thing is pretty slick too though, at $3.99, Netflix is a way better deal. It's nice that it downloads rather than requiring a constant connection to the internet.

Ever seen Fight Club? Remember Tyler's condemned house, with rain leaking through the ceiling everywhere? That's what my place looked like on Friday and Saturday. With the aid of a plastic wading pool, several buckets and plastic bags, some modeling clay, a large tarp and some duct tape I finally got the situation under control - after three levels were flooded. The carpets are now mostly dry and, miraculously, nearly all of my clean clothes and electronics stayed dry! I'm always amazed at how lucky I am when ever something bad happens. Thanks Ganesh!

I have two tracks uploaded, in case anyone's curious what kind of noise I make:

3 - Defender www.youtube.com/watch

4 - Shake it www.youtube.com/watch

These are the two that I prolly won't get my ass sued off for posting online.

I have a confession to make. I am a closet electronic musician. I'm even hesitant to use the word 'musician,' since it implies some level of musical training or the ability to play an instrument. Not only do I posses neither, but my compositions are almost exclusively made from sampled material, like collages of sound. I do remixes, mash-ups and cut-ups so heavily laden with samples that they can never be made commercially available. The sound is similar to turntablisim though I can't scratch or perform live to save my life, so everything is sequenced and processed on my computer. If you have any interest in hearing my work, just let me know, as I am finally putting together a CD.

"If thine neighbor should smite the on one cheek, SMASH him on the other!"

That is a line from the Satanic Bible, by Anton Lavey, founder of the Satanic Church in San Francisco. It is a metaphor for human interaction that encourages complete disregard for empathy and pacifism - directly opposed to the ways of Martin Luther King Jr, Ghandi, The Dalai Lama, King Solomon and Jesus of Nazareth.

It is the impulse of our primal, uncivilized instinct to retaliate when we feel pain - whether that pain is physical or emotional. Only through the self-sacrifice of denying the urge to strike back, and then proactively attempting to understand the thoughts and feelings of those who have hurt us, can we break the cycle of violence.

This is not easy, but the rewards are great.

The woman that I serve, though she is one of the most compassionate and considerate people I have ever met, is not well loved by everyone in the community. However, rather than expecting me to completely shun these individuals based on her experience of them, she is simply happy that I am not also a target of their animosity. I doubt that I'll trust, or even say much more than "hello," to people who've hurt friends of mine in the past, but it contradicts my nature to be rude to people who've always been nice to me, even if they may be putting up a front. I also have no desire to play in a social-mosh-pit of glares and sneers. If it comes down to that, I will simply not go to the places where these people may be found. If any of you feel offended by my lack of devotion to your sense of justice, or think that I lack integrity because I refuse to pass judgment, based on second hand information, I understand, and I respect your decision to shun me as well. However, life is full of compromises, in politics, family, business and many other areas. I do not intend to be paralyzed to inaction, in any of these spheres, simply by refusing to moderate my own overzealous ideals. I am not at war, I am not on a crusade. Even if I were, I'd like to think that I could keep a level head and not let my emotions overcome my rational mind.

My weekend involved hot service, dining in drag, BDSM play, animal role-play, cage-time, exhibitionist oral sex and some awesome finds at the thrift store. It doesn't get much better than this!

How To Feel Like The Hottest Guy On The Planet
-------------------------------------------------------------------

1) Get topped by a hot dominatrix and a porn star in front of crowds of envious onlookers and voyeurs at a sex club!

2) Sign up for a benefactor account on myfreeimplants.com, upload a couple of photos and buy a few message credits. I recently did this to show support for a couple of my friends and was bombarded with thoughtful compliments from beautiful women all over the world. I mean I ~know~ they were just fishing for conversation to get a few bucks towards their breast implant procedures, but it was a huge ego boost anyway! Think of it like going to the petting zoo with a handfull of food, only instead of being surrounded by goats, you're swarmed with hot chicks. Honestly, I can think of few ways that five or ten bucks could make you feel better. Even though I'm a fan of smaller, natural breasts, some women have very practical reasons for wanting to be larger, and some have health issues that prevented them from ever reaching their natural size, so I support a woman's right to choose. Who knows, I might even want bigger boobs myself one day.

myfreeimplants.com

When you get there, search for Penny and Gwendolyn, an send 'em a message or flat-out donation - every little bit helps!

You are a wonderful, caring, creative, funny and intelligent person and I feel both proud and lucky to have you as a friend.

This is a time of important personal growth, exploration and fun, for me. No person is going to slow me down, no darma is going to spoil my mood no absentees will prevent my fun. I am a steamroller of happiness and perversion that can not be stopped!

I'm no Bhuddist - I am far from free of desire. However, desire is different than need. I am an introvert, content with solitude because I am my own best friend, I love myself and, I'm even auto-erotic. I still have an intense desire for physical and emotional interaction with others, but being free from need is a happy, healthy place to be.

The thing that I never mentioned about my trip to Baja is that my traveling partner is a recovering stroke victim. Her brain exploded a year and a half ago, leaving her blind in the left half of both eyes and unable to feel anything short of sharp pain in her left side. She also has depression, sleep apnia and has to wear glasses. In spite of all this, she was able to carry supplies up and down a steep sandy hill, cross large areas of volcanic rock to use an out-house, swim in the ocean with breakers and swells and even drive to the tiny general store down the bumpy dirt road (though she's not legally allowed to drive)! I am so fucking proud of her courage and determination, you have no idea. I am also in awe of my other friends who accomplish great things in spite of their own unique sets of challenges. You are all heros to me!

The Baja adventure was a success - every detail executed with the precision of a military operation (including a working exit strategy).

Anxious to get out of the country, we decided to take a more direct path to Calexico, down 5 instead of through Yosemite. Since we made excellent time, we even stopped off for a swim in the Salton Sea which, as it turns out, was full of fish - most of them dead. Though we were lucky to find showers at the park, they were piped with solar heated water too hot to stand in for more than a fraction of a second.

After crossing the border, we decided to stay in a beach-front hotel in San Felipe. This gave us time for stingray tacos, tourist shopping and taking candles up the long staircase to the shrine of the Virgin of Guadalupe.

Upon arriving at our final destination, we alternated between skinny-dipping in the warm, yet refreshing sea and relaxing in the shade. The extreme tides caused by the new moon made for some fun breakers but the surf was too sandy and turbulent for snorkeling. With no moon in sight, we were treated to a glittery show of bioluminescence during our starlight swims, which made our every move seem to bristle with magic. Sunrise swims were equally impressive. The ocean seemed full of pink and orange light as the sun rose out of the water. We also took plenty of nekkid photos, which I've already posted (all the ones of me anyway). All the work of setting up, hauling gear across the red and purple volcanic rocks or swimming supplies across the bay, definitely paid off. Washing our dishes in the ocean was so much fun that it hardly seemed like work.

Once it came time to leave, we blasted off from the beach in a wild, adreneline-fuleled effort not to get stuck in the sand, fish-tailing and sliding like the truck was on ice. Though my little Toyota has a high suspension, it's only a 2-wheel drive, so the briefest hesitation would leave us stuck in the sand. My friend giggled and cheered as we careened from one beach to another, between two palapas and back to the safety of solid road, with Heart's Barracuda blasting.

As wonderful as our adventure was, we were certainly glad to get back to friends, plumbing and electricity!

It is time once again for my annual vacation and, this year, I'm off to Baja with Oah. I'm looking forward to frequent swims in the calm, warm waters of the Bay Of California (formerly The Sea Of Cortez), where I can watch brightly colored fish and other sea-life while snorkeling. During the next week, my concerns will be limited to applying sunscreen (especially important due to the fact that it's a clothing-optional area), fixing food and opening my next beer. No cellphone, no 4-screen internet communication and design workstation, no multi-line phone - just sun sea and sand. Wooohooo!

Here are some photos from my last trip to Puertecitos: s22.photobucket.com/albums/b...r/Baja05/

About Puertecitos:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puertecitos

San Felipe is the nearest real town (we plan to spend the night there):
www.sanfelipe.com.mx/about/index.html

ps - I can't focus on work at all - I start packin' at 5:00!

My stack of pride emblems just keeps getting longer and longer: people.tribe.net/br5an/pho...869b0ce198 The latest addition is the transgender pride flag. My gender identification lies somewhere between male and female, and even shifts from moment to moment. I think that binary genders are a ridiculous myth, perpetuated by some of the people who's identifications happen to be at one end of the gender spectrum or the other. I've always felt a little girly, as far back as I can remember, and my whole life I have been strongly discouraged from recognizing or indulging that side of myself. Part of the confusion that I have felt about who I am stems from the unfortunate misconception that a person can only be one or the other. I've always known that I don't fully identify as a woman, just as I've always known that I can't help but desire women - but, until now, I was not fully and intuitively aware that I can also have feminine aspects to my personality and even desire men without giving up my masculinity and my lust for chicks. Damn it's good to be me!

With all of that said, I really hope that my self discovery doesn't alienate any of my friends - especially those who are only just getting to know me and may feel as though I am changing even as they try to connect with who I am. Just know that I am finding the true me, who was always there, even if hidden.

No earth-shattering news here, thank God. I'm so sorry for those of you who's lives are currently painful and chaotic. I'll do whatever I can to help - just let me know what you need.

I'm still gonna post though, because I'm a self-absorbed blog slut. No, really, I love myself. I always have, on a certain level, but I love me even more now that I'm bi. Can I help it if I think I'm hot? I mean I do have a little humility left - it's not like I think everyone should like me but, if you do, here I am - pictures, thoughts and all. [deleted drama causing reference, as well as related comments] I also really hope I don't come off as some kinda conceited know-it-all. So, for once, I'm fishing for criticism rather than compliments. Lay it on me! I'm asking for it, and I won't hold it against you, I swear. I just want to know how other people see me.

The photo is of a new AI and talking encyclopedia, called Brian the Brain!
www.hammacher.com/publish/74335.asp

Some of our fellow kinksters are being harassed by an increasing number of their neighbors. Apparenty the existence of queer, transgendered, kinksters is too much for their un-evolved brains to handle. This situation may not have an easy solution but Tori is feeling very depressed and alienated and would really appreciate any words of support that you can offer:

Post: SF The Citadel > Naked Plea (by Tori C)
sfthecitadel.tribe.net/thread...5d22bcb

I just found out that a friend of mine (and Oah's), who survived a ruptured cerebral AVM (arteriovenous malformation), half blind and barely able to walk on her own, has now been diagnosed with MS. It's like winning the Devil's lottery - twice! Why is it that life's challenges come in multiples? She had just begun a promising career as a commercial airline pilot when her brain exploded - now she has to deal with this. Fortunately, she has a loving husband, friends and guide dog to help her deal with both of these crippling challenges as best she can, though she has barely begun her life at 24.

If any of you fully able, or reasonably able, people are not out chasing your dreams and making an effort to experience the things that you want to before you die, I hope this post lights a fire under your ass. You should realize how lucky you are and how quickly everything can be taken away.

I am a bitch
How do you want me?
From behind?
Or on my knees?

I am a slut
Please hold me down
I’ll be your noise
This shit will fuck you up

youtube.com/watch

(this post has nothing to do with anything, I just like the song)

I was in such a rush to get outta here last night that I didn't have time to charge and pack my camera. So, in lieu of my own flash party photos, I have stolen some from Rosemadder (thanks qt!) and posted a couple that I shot this morning:

people.tribe.net/br5an/photos

Please take a moment to welcome Zeke. In addition to being new to Tribe and new to BDSM, he's also new to northern California. A refugee from So Cal, he hardly knows anyone up here yet and is dealing with a bit of culture shock as he begins to realize that Nor Cal folks are more interested in personal growth than looking like movie stars. Choosing the red-pill was a brave move - let's show him how deep the rabbit-hole goes.

people.tribe.net/7445e89c-...307f4369c2

Summer is definitely the best time for outdoor adventures. Yesterday, my roommate and I went to an oyster farm in Point Reyes. Since they don't have a restaurant there, I shucked our oysters, with a screwdriver, on the tailgate of my truck. Then we dined on the toolbox, using a beach towel as a tablecloth. These oysters were the best I've had since the ones I pried off the rocks my self in Baja. Desiree laughed at the orgasmic sounds that I made as I chewed the slimy delicacies, savoring the essence of the ocean for as long as I could manage ,before giving in to the irresistible urge to swallow. Our view for this meal included the weathered oyster farm buildings with their rusty conduits and peeling layers of paint, Drakes Bay, and the intricate mud mazes snaking through the grass of the vast tidal marsh. After our heavenly meal, we continued driving through the wind-blown, coastal farmland to the Point Reyes lighthouse, where we enjoyed incredible cliff-top views of the ocean, in winds so strong we could hardly stand straight.

Looks like I'm not going to make it out to my favorite club this weekend. I'll be home, maybe working on a painting or sculpture, doing free stuff, coasting until payday. However, it'll take more than black cats and sidewalk cracks to keep me away on Friday the 13th!

youtube.com/watch

I can't wait to see my friends at Supa Stishun - I miss you all!

I just had to share this joystick photo that I ran across, since I'm a retro game geek.

In other news, my left heel has completely, uh...healed, while the blister on the right side still looks like a gore shot from a horror flick. Not that all of you need the gruesome details of my Achilles divot, but it may impact my availability for certain activities this weekend, since I'm not sure when I'll be able to wear shoes on both feet again - let alone boots. OK enough whining...

The other other news is that Eve has discovered an image of the elusive BR5AN, hidden in the background of another photo. Through the use of state of the art image processing technology, I have enhanced the portion of the photo that documents me marching in the Pride parade - solid, digital proof that I was there! The CSI crew ain't got nuthin' on us:

people.tribe.net/br5an/pho...43e925f0e5

This graphic caught my eye because of the bright color and improvised bondage.

Here's a photo of the men's restroom in a Japanese brothel. I'm thinking of installing this type of sink in my bathroom at home, but I have yet to run across one at Home Depot.

Had to share this, but I don't want to put anything in my photos that's not mine.