Having worked in the adult industry for seven years I've become very aware of the gaze of men. I've become very aware of men hitting on me and the fact that people treat me differently if they find me attractive. It's gotten to a point where I am suspicious of men, and that I do my best to ignore them. At the office I'm supposed to be helpful and informative, but I don't want to help men or be nice to them. Yesterday there was a guy in the office who needed a lot of help and kept asking fro information and wanted to stand at the counter and read his papers. He stood there and stared at me too. It was really obnoxious and I did as little as possible to help him. I noticed that he had about half a dozen orchids with him, and after he left I saw that one was placed on a shelf above the computer he had been using. My first thought was that this guy didn't have thee guts to say something to me directly (thank god), but wanted to give me a flower. Am I crazy? Am I totally off in my suspicions? Maybe people just stare because I look like a freak?