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Russell is a two ton man mountain... Russell once punched a hole in a cow just to see what was on the other side... Russell could have fucked your mother, but he didnt want to... Russell knows what snitches get... Russell can benchpress a walrus... Russell hates it when you do that... Russell's second favorite beverage is tea; his favorite is the blood of his enemies... Russell can run 1 million miles without starting... Russell's semen can form into a liquid human like the guy in Terminator 2... All the ladies want Russell, but he just can't be tied down... Russell is a fat fuck... Russell can crush steel with his eyebrows... Russell wears a live rattlesnake as a condom... Russell learned to drive by stealing police cars... Russell's middle name is not pronounceable when sober... Russell showers with vodka... Russell loves soup...Russell can make a grown man go from happy to crying in 8.5 seconds... Russell once made a boulder think it was a sparrow and fly away... Russell has no mass; what you are seeing is simply the idea of Russell... Russell has shaken hands with the man who put the bop in the bop-shoo-bop-shoo-bop; he was not responsible for the dit... Russell fights fire with fire, but fights water with fire too... Russell started the Brand X company, and makes products entirely for use in side-by-side testing... Russell knows violence isn't the answer, but sometimes he likes getting it wrong... Russell doesn't give a damn... Russell is about fucking awesome.