trash-talkin' and random observiness

weirdness, or keri & mz must really be rubbing off on me because i'm blogging about my FEELINGS.

skyyris — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 23:33:12 GMT

i just found out that a man i was dating last winter has a new girlfriend that is jealous, rude to his family & friends and not cute. she picks fights with him at the bar, accuses him of talking to other girls when he's on the phone with work, scowls at his buddies, the whole 9 yards. all this has been reported on and confirmed by my (arguably biased) best friend ashley, who lives in the same town. and the chick's myspace page that ash found which is filled with glitter graphics and general inanity. kevin and i stopped talking by accident early this spring and haven't spoken in months. no hard feelings, no discussion about why, we just both stopped calling after a several-month long doomed long-distance semi-relationship conducted almost entirely by phone. as for an end, it couldn't have been any less traumatic. easy come, easy go. so i saw a bunch of pictures of him today and it made me feel weird. sad for him that he's not smart enough or thinks enough of himself to get someone better and sad for me for being such a noob for feeling weird about it. once a softie, always a softie. laaaa-aaaame. oof. one rare moment of self-disclosure on the tribeblogy bits. right then. over and out.

a real man should...

skyyris — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 04:57:38 GMT

from (of all kinda trashy things) Viceland.com Do's and Don'ts: http://www.viceland.com/int/dd.php?id=1083 "A grown-ass man should be able to change a tire, drive stick, do CPR, set a bone, gut a fish, build a wall, throw a punch, shoot a gun, shotgun a beer, build a fire, run a barbecue, change a diaper, recite three lines from Animal House, light a fart, and eat a pussy." iI dunno about you, but it made me laugh my ass off. hells YES. clearly, i love a re-post.

free laffs/sesame street blasphemy/gangsta rap/for those over 30

skyyris — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 19:46:06 GMT

from one of my most favorite blogs: http://www.deusexmalcontent.com/2008/08/street-knowledge.html as Chez put it so succinctly: This is pretty much the greatest thing ever. slightly NSFW due to language but yer head'll be bobbin and i guarantee you'll watch it at least twice. word to your muppets.

ROAR!

skyyris — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 00:55:20 GMT

oh, holy crap. that was a fantastic party. many thanks to kevee for the venue and to drew for bein' born. to julie for my ears and tail bits (can't believe it's my first one!) to ham & swiss for booty shakin' hilarity and to manoj for keeping the beats (and his cool) during the smokin' hot birfday lap dance portion of the evening. gut-busting guffaws to piepo and natasha for that heeeelarious routine/outfits and much love to cameron & company for the beautiful music inside the dome. all that being said, my semi-drunken mostly bad snapped-in-the-dark pictures can be found here: http://flickr.com/photos/skyyris/sets/72157606547653311

the FAIL blog

skyyris — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 22:53:03 GMT

oh, FAIL blog, how happy you make me: http://failblog.org/ also? making your own is almost as much funas guffawing at the ones on the site. i snapped this pic in Target last winter after slapping my head in disgust. i mean, really. what is relentless branding in corporate america coming to if they can't even spell 'em right??! gawd. so i hadta FAIL it. k. now: make yer own! take yer so-dumb-it's-funny-now-what-do-i-do-with-it pix and FAIL 'em with the LOL builder and lemme see whatcha got. go!

Presidential Ecstasy Tablets

skyyris — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 20:22:02 GMT

i love this comic. www.toothpastefordinner.com

go Granny go!

skyyris — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 08:00:58 GMT

damn near nobody knows this, but my kickass 95-year old Granny Mad fell and broke her hip 2 nights ago. she's a tiny little thing and hasn't cracked 100 pounds in years. this was really crappy news and we were fearing the worst backstory: Madeline Gunn was born in Scotland and spent her later school years on a ranch in Argentina, near Buenos Aires. as a young woman, she decided that it was a beter idea to go get a secretary job (instead of a husband) and was labeled the quintessential black sheep/spinster. eventually a freckly ginger of an American Army officer came along and they married on the ranch. their wedding photo (which Granny loves to remind me "everyone in this photograph is dead, except me!"). next was Don. Jr. and my mom and an oceanliner trip & move to Santa Cruz, CA. Granny's lived on her own since the 60s, after raising 2 kids alone (ol' Grandpa Don was a total douche and took off when my the kids were still in grade school. he'd turn up over the decades to 'remind' my mom that she'd never amount to anything, etc. real charmer. although i wasn't supposed to overhear this, i saw them toast to his passing at a family retreat.). Madeline held down 2 jobs at times, drank like a fish for years and while she certainly made her mistakes, she's spent her entire life thus far generally being a strong, uncompromising, wisecracking badass. she's gotten a little fragile recently and the decision was made (after living in Oregon for the past 33 years-she used to bathe me in her kitchen sink!) for her to move to Phoenix with my aunt & uncle for safe-keeping. the unbelievably shitty irony that she would go all that way after taking care of herself for so many decades only to bust her hip inside of a month at his house is not lost on the family. but here's the good part. you just can't keep a good Scotswoman down. she's out of surgery, stabilized, drugged to the gills and gonna be OK. fuck yeah, Madeline. you show 'em. that sweet old broad's gonna outlast us all. if'n you can, kindly send some good vibes to a good woman who's seen damn near everything and is living to tell the tale.

a little sad today

skyyris — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 21:50:57 GMT

"There's not gonna be much room," she said cautiously. It wasn't quite 9am and pre-Independence Day traffic on East Burnside whizzed by, faster than it ought to with the cop stop a block away. I was standing on the parking strip in front of my house, loaded down with my old green duffle bag that was bursting at the seams with all the summer clothes I didn't hate (the only way to pack, especially frantically, and at 2am). For me, I was doing pretty well, thankyouverymuch. So maybe I had my bitchin’ 60s black-and-white Op Art flower print Samsonite train case in the other hand with all my 'face' in it. And my camera bag slung around my bod. And a Trader Joe’s bag full of snacks. Aaaaand a small cooler (more snacks). K. The cooler's gotta go. Damn. Gonna wish we had that later… One year ago tomorrow, July 3rd, I lit outta Dodge with my best friend Ashley, hellbent for (of all places) Saginaw, Michigan and the love of her life that awaited her back home. Yessir, we took ourselves a cross-country road trip in a cramped pick-up with no AC. Through the Midwest. In July. With a cat. All of Ash's wordly belongings were artfully shoved into the bed & "topper" (Michigan-speak for canopy) of her black GMC truck. I was along for the ride, the farmer’s tan and what would turn to be an absolutely life-changing adventure. This mad, mad week of strange stares, bad food, nosebleeds, temporary road rage and preposterous amounts of road kill was only slightly tainted by the knowledge that my fabulous, foul, sassy, wonderful best friend was moving from Portland forever. I count our "life on the lam" [which occurred after only sort-of deliberately stealing pizza from the Pizza Hut in Alliance, Nebraska whilst simultaneously flipping the bird and peeling out of the parking lot] as one of the most incredible experiences of my life. So friends, If I look a little teary-eyed over the next few days, it’s just because I’m thinking about how much that trip, and my sweet friend, mean to me. My documentation of the trip can be found here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/skyyris/collections/72157600874345367/ I love you, Ash. And I miss you tons.

I'm voting Republican

skyyris — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 06:17:22 GMT

http://www.imvotingrepublican.com/

tee hee hee

skyyris — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 18:30:24 GMT

this is a little bit funny. just a little. toothpastefordinner.com

SantaCon in June!

skyyris — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 19:17:04 GMT

snapshots of the santas milling about for the MGB calendar shoot from last night can be found on mah flickr: http://flickr.com/photos/skyyris/sets/72157605419176539 [the real ones are on cameron's] somehow, some way, it's art. really.

dispatches from the Universe

skyyris — Mon, 19 May 2008 20:16:34 GMT

Land appeared beneath their feet where there had been none, because they dared to step. Cups that had long been empty began to overflow, as they were finally raised in toast. And friends were drawn, as if from the ether, when the party shoes went on. Oh, the magic, The Universe +++++++++++++++++++ mmmmm. yummy. my boss sent this to me and it this plucked my warmed heartstring cockles today. 'tis good to be us, you know?

where do i even start?

skyyris — Mon, 12 May 2008 21:50:23 GMT

well, i suppose with the photo above in which i am happy to the point of bursting, grinning manically, blushing fiercely and absolutely drowning in birthday love. the red roses! the jesus candles! the presents! the veritable pitchers of crown & cokes! the name tags! the unholy trinity! the DIY knuckle tattoos! the fire pit! the caution tape! the muthafucking groove bomb! TWICE! thank you to all my beautiful friends for coming over to Cameron's taupe-ish bungalow and (to the the doubtless dismay of his neighbors) throwing down for my 32nd year on this here planet. lovelovelove to keri for chucking it all together in 2 days and most of all... a thousand and eleven thanks to the sweet, sexy host of said birthday ho-down. i can't imagine a more fabulous night. [squuueeee!]

BITCHES!

skyyris — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 17:56:20 GMT

Lunchie today? Text bombin' ya too... Dori? Mz? Gin? Keri? I'm a hungerpants and Monday's the only day i can do it. accommodate me!!

PICKLES!

skyyris — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 17:34:47 GMT

so Drew's play was awesome and all but the PICKLES! oooohhhh, the pickles... http://flickr.com/photos/skyyris/sets/72157604776064688/

Urban Wellness Group Grand Opening Block Party Photos

skyyris — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 19:54:42 GMT

what a fabulous afternoon (weather notwithstanding)! dancing in the rainhailsnowsun to dj global ruckus & solovox, tasty snacks, kegs o' beer and of course, friends! http://flickr.com/photos/skyyris/sets/72157604680164515/ if you didn't make it to the partay, go see the lovely sija in her practice at UWG ASAP. yum!

Red Dress Party on the Mobile Groove Bomb Photos

skyyris — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 06:36:19 GMT

http://www.flickr.com/photos/skyyris/sets/72157604525908318 oh the drinking and the dancing and the, uh...drinking. wheeeeee! what a fabulous night!

Fancy Moop Gala photos

skyyris — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 05:07:12 GMT

http://www.flickr.com/photos/skyyris/sets/72157604529284301

funny linky goodness, why-my-life-rules weekend musings and new shoes!

skyyris — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 06:46:09 GMT

http://postcardsfromyomomma.com/ link to website of excepts of emails sent in by folks' moms because my saturday night is AWESOME. well, actually, my whole day has been pretty rad, save my early am wake-up. hmm. to recap: + lameness: waking up at 7:30am to sunlight BLASTING in my window due to semi-curtainless action + rest-of-the-day coolness: getting back to sleep by half-smothering myself with my pillow til 10:30 waking up to patsy cline with visions of bacon and brunch dragging keri out of bed for said brunch and one of our saturday errands days black pleather cowgirl boots and striped socks walking into crush and having James ask us if we needed bloody marys before we even sat down being reminded to order a double side of bacon with our breakfast by said darling waiter spending 4 HOURS at brunch with Keri & Jefe and many, many drinks on their part and about 17 cups of coffee on mine [twitch! twitch!] getting the "hmmm. looks like you already paid" treatment from the sweetiepie camera shop guy when i picked up my prints. rad! schlepping put to the 'burbs for Target shopping and a pop-in to the Rack to peep the shoes buying the hottest candy-apple red patent leather super-high heeled ankle strap peep toe platform sex kitten heels (see above) making a loud and hilarious (to us) scene wherever we go getting Bryan's Bowls from por que no. mmmm. carnitas. gchatting with my moved-to-Michigan-last-year BFF while drinking a cold beer and wearing my new shoes in bed with my cat laughing so hard over old boyfriend stories that my stomach hurt too much to type much more than "BWAHAHAHAHAHA" texting about going 80s prom dress shopping with Mz tomorrow! yippee!

oof.

skyyris — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 20:51:45 GMT

i ate too much at lunch today and since i've already bitched about it to keri via gchat and our part-time file boy at the office, i figgered i'd put it out here on the interwebs too. you see, the silly folks at zupan's took the sushi section away, so instead of fishy and wasabi, i ate a huge ham & gruyere sammich on a grilled baguette. mmm. 'twas so tasty. and i so did not need to eat the whole thing. this is what i get for naming my ass "vera" now the beeyotch thinks i'm eating for two!

one of these, plz

skyyris — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 22:11:05 GMT

the answer to the query of the contents and payload of a pair of crisis panties? from the brilliantly twisted mind of one Mischief: "theyd have a little button on em and ifn ya pressed it, out would pop condoms, lube, a vibrator, a pair of fuzzy hand cuffs, a flogger, a departicalizer ray gun, breath mints, bourbon, bacon, a good book, a journal and a ticket to the carribean. As a start." whooooooooeeeeeeee. kthxbye.

teehee

skyyris — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 01:19:39 GMT

more funny cartoony action, happy frigggin easter. yay for the Zombie Jeebus!

ok, think i did just pee. thank god for dark pants.

skyyris — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 23:52:54 GMT

fuckingajesuschristi'mgonnadie.

this made me laugh until i thought i was going to pee my pants

skyyris — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 23:29:27 GMT

if you haven't experienced the twisted, unbridled joy of this comic, get thee to toothpastefordinner.com whoooo. my tummy hurts.

one of the many, many benefits of kicking the corporate gigs once and for all

skyyris — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 22:36:05 GMT

"I think I want some wine." seeing as it's Tuesday and 2:30, why not? I love my boss and my job. [hiccup]