Tell me..
I love you.
No,tell me about prison.
Prison? Why? The subject bores me,I don't think about it anymore-I spent 7 years trying to tell people about it and no one cared,no one listened. It bored them,too.
Tell me because I want you to. I need to know why and who you are.
I don't know who I am,but do you know how it is when we fuck...
Please,we make love. I've fucked plenty of people and know the difference.
OK,when we make love,magic happens.The world stops,it seems like it'll never end-I never want it to end,but right before you tell me to come,when i know it's going to end,I want the endless end.Well,in prison time stops but it's bad magic,it's bad vodoo. You wait and wait,wanting an end but it never ends. It's the sameness,day after day. It's being entombed while alive,only you're dead to people-it's the zombie curse.
You still love her,don't you.
I love something that only exists in my mind. I go back and forth in time.I don't stay in the now anymore-except with you-you bring me back. I'll always love the women I loved but that's not real. You're real,you're reality-the only reality that matters.
I wouldn't have left you.
I know. I became desperate,most women know when you're desperate and despise you. But you get turned on by it . The more desperate I am,the more it excites you.
I would have had lovers,you know-many of them-and I would have written you long letters telling you what i did with them,how good it was,how they satisfied me. I would have had them cum on the letters and ordered you to lick it.
And I would have been even more desperate and loved you more than humanly possible. Maybe that's what it is-I'm not human.I don't think I've ever been.
You tried to die for her,didn't you? That's so romantically silly!
I did die,I should be dead. I felt that electricity enter my body,hit my heart,WHAM! My heart stopped. I don't know why I didn't die. Besides,it wasn't romantic,it was stupid. I should have been trying to raise a 100 grand for a decent lawyer,not faking an accident for the insurance.
You didn't die because your purpose is to be mine. You went to prison so that you'd belong to me. If you hadn't,you'd be with her.
Maybe.Things change,people change,circumstances and situations change, The thing is,I'm not with her, I didn't even mind her divorcing me but it was the way she did it . She didn't even have the fucking courage to come and see me the last time,to tell me to my face.I always thought she had guts,Iadmired her bravery.
She was afraid of you,of what she'd done to you. You scared her.
I never threatened,scared or hurt her in my life.
You can be scary and you don't even know it! That's one of the things I love about you-it's not an act.Sometimes I feel like I'm in the tiger cage with a whip and a cap gun. Would you die for me?
I will die for you. When you become tired of me,I want you to have my last breath,to suck it from my lungs. I want you to cut out my dead heart and eat it. Then I will leave,happily,and go back home for the last time.