My Blog

we interupt this program

conphx — Sat, 07 Apr 2007 07:45:06 GMT

To whom it may concern: The person known as "conphx",is a dangerous criminal. He is an ex-con with covictions for assult on police officers;aggrevated assult with a deadly weapon,dangerous; kidnapping,and has 2,known,aliases. It is my belief that if not criminally insane,he is a sociopath that should never have been released from custody-and my therapist agrees. Also, there is no record of his ever having served this country as a Ranger during the Vietnam Conflict or of being a detective with the Detroit Police. I don't know how he managed to access my email address but I've been informed that he has broken no laws-yet. Unfortunately,I read portions of the pornographic scribblings he calls his "writings",in particlar the fithy,perverted,"letter to my ex",which his diseased mind supposed I would accept as a "love letter". I can only say that I had to stop several times to vomit! As for his,"a story no. 9",my attorney says that since I'm not directly named,there is no libel and that no one will read it. It is doubtful that he actually wrote it anyway. I had to suffer through several years of simplistic,pathetic letters from him and he is incabable of an original thought. It was probably stolen from his granddaughter-the only one in that inbred,mutant family to show any sign of intelligence-even if she is a halfbreed. Yes,I am the unfortunate woman that was,briefly,married to sicko. In my defense,I will say that I had just come through a difficult divorce from my husband of 20 years, father of my children,childhood sweetheart, and was vunerable. I have since learned that sociopaths can have a certain charm to the unwary and must admit that he was extremely talented at oral sex. I have recovered from my having been associated with that sissy faggot with the heip of God and years of expensive therapy. I am also very happily married to a much younger real man,that knows how to provide for and treat a woman! I no longer have to be the skeletol 125 lbs. on a 5' 11" frame to be desired. Even though The Good Lord blessed me with absurdly long legs (and a body most women would kill for!),my new husband loves me for me-leaving me free to indulge in my 2 real passions of chocolate and Coca-Cola! I am now a comfortable and pleasing 195 Lbs! It is my understanding that "perv boy" (whose only love,other than for himself,was for Jack,JIm.Johnny,and Jose) is now living in a shack somewhere in the slums of Phoenix. He is usually heavily armed and should be approached only by experienced law enforcement personnel.It is my feverent prayer that he will soon perish from radiator distilled mescal or a self inflicted gunshot before he is able to lure another trusting soul into a life of degradation. I also have the satisfaction of knowing that our Most Heavenly and Merciful Father will see to it that "convicts" (how typical of his twisted humor) burns in Hell for his "endless end". Sincerely, K

a story no. 9

conphx — Sat, 07 Apr 2007 03:17:49 GMT

Tell me.. I love you. No,tell me about prison. Prison? Why? The subject bores me,I don't think about it anymore-I spent 7 years trying to tell people about it and no one cared,no one listened. It bored them,too. Tell me because I want you to. I need to know why and who you are. I don't know who I am,but do you know how it is when we fuck... Please,we make love. I've fucked plenty of people and know the difference. OK,when we make love,magic happens.The world stops,it seems like it'll never end-I never want it to end,but right before you tell me to come,when i know it's going to end,I want the endless end.Well,in prison time stops but it's bad magic,it's bad vodoo. You wait and wait,wanting an end but it never ends. It's the sameness,day after day. It's being entombed while alive,only you're dead to people-it's the zombie curse. You still love her,don't you. I love something that only exists in my mind. I go back and forth in time.I don't stay in the now anymore-except with you-you bring me back. I'll always love the women I loved but that's not real. You're real,you're reality-the only reality that matters. I wouldn't have left you. I know. I became desperate,most women know when you're desperate and despise you. But you get turned on by it . The more desperate I am,the more it excites you. I would have had lovers,you know-many of them-and I would have written you long letters telling you what i did with them,how good it was,how they satisfied me. I would have had them cum on the letters and ordered you to lick it. And I would have been even more desperate and loved you more than humanly possible. Maybe that's what it is-I'm not human.I don't think I've ever been. You tried to die for her,didn't you? That's so romantically silly! I did die,I should be dead. I felt that electricity enter my body,hit my heart,WHAM! My heart stopped. I don't know why I didn't die. Besides,it wasn't romantic,it was stupid. I should have been trying to raise a 100 grand for a decent lawyer,not faking an accident for the insurance. You didn't die because your purpose is to be mine. You went to prison so that you'd belong to me. If you hadn't,you'd be with her. Maybe.Things change,people change,circumstances and situations change, The thing is,I'm not with her, I didn't even mind her divorcing me but it was the way she did it . She didn't even have the fucking courage to come and see me the last time,to tell me to my face.I always thought she had guts,Iadmired her bravery. She was afraid of you,of what she'd done to you. You scared her. I never threatened,scared or hurt her in my life. You can be scary and you don't even know it! That's one of the things I love about you-it's not an act.Sometimes I feel like I'm in the tiger cage with a whip and a cap gun. Would you die for me? I will die for you. When you become tired of me,I want you to have my last breath,to suck it from my lungs. I want you to cut out my dead heart and eat it. Then I will leave,happily,and go back home for the last time.

wait,wait--there's been a mistake....or, i've done my time

conphx — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 05:01:05 GMT

When i first started this collection of writings i called it,"wait,wait,-there's been a mistake...",but one day i tried to do something beyond my computer capabilities,keep the main title & use sub-headings,which did't work. The reason i called this that (wait..),is that is how i felt when i lost the trial that sent me to prison. No one ever asks me about prison & the subject seldom comes up in the polite society i now interact with. Why should it? Prisons,the "criminal justice system",the purposes for the increasing incarceration rates & who profits,is amerika's dirty little secret only trotted out during election years when politicians climb over each other to prove who is "toughest" on crime. Meanwhile,prison populations climb,the costs increase & the damage to this country"s decaying soul festers on. It doesn't even matter to me anymore whether i was actually guilty of the crime that i was accused of. i took my case to the 9th circut court of appeals myself when i found that no one would help me. Once there,i was appointed a lawyer & the result was that my case was dismissed on "procedural default". Once convicted,the courts didn't care if i was guilty either. i was accused of pointing a pistol at a 17yr. "child" (as he was portrayed by the prosecuter) in my former neighborhood. The reason i did that,according to the prosecuter & Hispanic named cop who testified,was that i hated Mexicans. This was news to me since one thing i've never been is any form or type of racist. My granddaughter is "1/2 Hispanic" ( i dislike those descriptions-mexican-amerikan,afro-amerikan,etc. If you live here,you're amerikan,even if you are "illegal"),i once housed & employed a Honduran political refugee (here illegally) & the old standby of "some of my best friends are Mexican" or other colors, sexes,nationalities,etc. was true. Over 20 of them testified at my sentencing to no avail-the "judge" (a former prosecuter) found that my "crime " was racially motivated & sentenced me to 7 1/2 years for a first time felony. Oh,i was also portrayed as a likely dog poisoner. Again, some of my best friends have been dogs-at times (like now) they've (and cats) been my only friends. No matter-i was effectively drawn as a violent,drunken,dog poisening,racist not fit to be allowed to associate with decent folk. Was any of it true? Silly me-i still thought that trials had something to do with truth but i learned that if corp/gov decides that one is undesirable & ungrateful,by not accepting a plea & having the nerve to cost money by going to trial (because if you're arrested you're guilty-unless rich or connected),you're going down. I'd never been to prison or even jail before so it was a new experience. Once i was over the initial shock,i found that most people liked me (even the "Mexicans"),especially the older true criminals & murderers. i've always been an honest sort,unable to suck up to people & that is appreciated even more among the true cons than out here. i also hated cops,quards (it's surprising how many "inmates" need approval so badly they love their keepers),prosecuters & especially,judges. Generally,murderers are the best people in prison-thoughtful,dependable,honest-and were the ones i was comfortable with. Most will never be released,which is too bad-they're not really criminals like the recycling junkies (most of prison),they were just in situations,for the most part,where someone was killed-and many honest citizens know they could be in similar circumstances. i've read that war is mostly boredom with moments of terror. That can apply to prison as well-it is "Groundhog Day",where every day repeats. After about a year i grew bored with most of the people,the same stories,routines,etc.,so i became a prison activist & started a multitude of written grievances-fultile gestures in arizona prisons but the only way left to fight the enemy & a necessaary prelude to filing civil suits. i learned enough of the law to hate it even more & to take my federal habeas & 2 civil suits to the 9th circut. In fact,i still have one civil case there & an order was granted this Jan. appointing me an attorny,which hasn't happened yet. If the impossible happens & one of those old fashioned lawyers who believe the law is supposed to mean more than scorecards (that i've never met) reads this,the case is 05-16463,and worth taking over. Prison officials don't like trouble makers so there was a period when i was transferred 7 times in less than a year. i got to see a lot of the state behind razor wire & it turned out that everywhere i went,someone knew me from some other complex or knew of me. Then i got sick from spinal stenosis,fibromyalgia,no medical care & was finally sent to florence,close to phoenix for the first time,my last 2 1/2 years. By this time my wife was already divorcing me & since i couldn't fight anymore i pretty much kept my mouth shut around idiots-who are mostly in minimum prisons. i'd also learned that once one moron left,he was replaced by a never ending procession of other morons: prison populations are 99%the poor,disadvantaged,uneducated,mentally ill,substance addicted & unemployable that the amerikan ruling class has decided is more profitable to imprison than to teach any marketable skills or educate. i spent most of the time in prison reading because i don't like stupid conversations,have never watched much TV & didn't buy an overpriced one.(If this country really wanted to solve the drug epedemic,it would open up the prisons to drug addicts,give unlimited free drugs,cable TV & feed junk food. The walls & wire would be to keep people out.) There were a surprising amount of good books in prison libraries (mostly unread) & i read hundreds of them. The last two years i also "got saved",not with the jailhouse christianity that is force fed by prison authorities,but by reading lessons from "Siddha Yoga,Prison Project" that one of the true old cons finishing a 20 yr. sentence gave me to read. This lead me to study Zen Buddhaism & i finally start to make sense of this crazy world and learn patience,love,tolerance, & dare i write it-some wisdom. For what ever reason,it also saved my life. i'd have been a mean son of a bitch having access to weapons when released because i have no fear of dying. i will finish this later.

cat house

conphx — Sun, 04 Mar 2007 03:18:24 GMT

i like cats. Some people hate them,which i find strange because cats are smart enough to know who doesn't appreciate them (or does) & stay away from such people. i wish i was "catlike",instead of doglike-loyal,obedient & if you beat me,i'll lick your hand & come back for more. i've known "cat people",mostly Women,& those are the ones i'm attracted to-to my dismay-i'm always scratched in the end. i think there are 8 cats living here,their numbers seem to fluctuate,which is odd because they're spayed or neutered. Perhaps the neighbor cats come for vacation & switch places. There are front yard cats & back yard cats that don't like each other and formed gangs. So far,the back yard cats are winning. There used to be a roof cat. When i came out the kitchen door, it meowed at me from the roof & i used to feed it canned cat food by spooning it directly on the roof. As far as i know,it never came down,existing mainly on vermin & bats in season. When i went to up on the roof to clean the gutters & flat roof area,i found that the cat used part of the roof for its' (i never got close enough to learn the sex) toilet & the attic, which was open at the peak,smelled of cat piss. i screened the opening & the cat left-i'm sure it found a more hospitable roof to inhabit,there are many old houses in this area. i put all the cats out in the day time that haven't already ran outside to be fed a bit of canned cat food (i let them in at night,unless they choose to remain outside). Some try to sneak back in,but i've learned the tricks & track those down that evade my defenses-but i do have favorites that i allow in-those that meow at the door when they want back out. All the cats except crazy Cleo. She used to live at my house so she's at least 9 or10,& used to go outside. There was a great photo of her hiding in a tree that Kelley's older son took. i don't know when or why she went insane,it was before i came here. i'm told that that the last time she went outside here,she hid in the neighbors' wood pile &couldn't be coaxed out until a month had passed & starvation drove her out. Now,she never goes out. She had stopped allowing people to pet her,too,living a feral existence inside,but when i came she jumped onto my lap & demanded to be petted,so she must remember me.She makes a horrible yowling noise when petted & finally bites me & runs off. She also drags pieces of my grand- daughter's clothing from her room into mine-why,i have no idea. i want to be a slave to a Woman. Instead, i've become the cat's slave. i feed them,give fresh water,pet them on demand & clean the litter boxes (it seems that a section of my day is devoted to shit-cat,dog & goat). It's not a bad life,but i'm still looking for that Cat Woman to scratch me.

my 15 minutes of fame

conphx — Sun, 25 Feb 2007 06:50:39 GMT

i believe it was Andy Warhol who coined that phrase about fame. i never understood his art or why he is famous but i don't understand most things, including Women & life. That doesn't stop me from enjoyment-like with the definition of porn,i know something good when i see it & i don't like Warhols' art. From what i observe though,he was right on about the fame thing. People seem like they'll do anything to be on TV,be noticed,etc. i could have done without my 15 min. & i didn't even profit. Any halfwit can figure out who i am from this,but no one reads it (that's why i write it,it's my therapy),i don't worry about being tracked down like a rabid dog anymore,i can't be blackmailed (i have no money & the few that still know me, know i'm a pervert),& i can't think of anyone that still wishes me harm. The Women i may have done wrong have already done all they can do to me-i'm like a toothless,deballed old lion-i can't even bite anymore Last May (just in time for Mother's Day!)there was a news story about about a mother being reunited with her daughter after 30 years. It seems that the dastardly father who had forgotten to bring the daughter back to her after a trip to the zoo(before the divorce was final),& who had been searched for by the law's finest(including the fbi),was finally apprehended! And i was right under their noses,in arizona prison! That is another story i may get around to writing. i had been taken to CB6 right before the story broke but i understand it made a big splash for a while. In June when i was "released" from prison,i went to pinal co. jail for 2 weeks until i was extradited back to Mi. i was flown on a Northwest flight,belly -chained, with 2 detectives who'd found time to play golf & hit the strip clubs in Phoenix the day before. i was wearing a prison release t-shirt that they had me pull over the cuffs so i wouldn't be "noticable"& scare the passengers(like they were blind idiots)-i looked like i was playing with myself. i had a decent attorney,thanks to my family (some who i hadn't seen in a while,like 30 years),& the only thing i could be charged with was "custodial kidnapping", a max of 1 yr,. 1 day. Because i was a good boy & kept my mouth shut (about why i left for instance) & my daughter wrote a wonderful letter on my behalf (she loves me), i got 7 months & did 5. Oh yeah, my daughter did meet her mother,in AR., where 2 of her half brothers live. It turned out that she doesn't really like her mom & neither do her half brothers. i don't think the police liked her mom,either-that's why they didn't look too hard for me. i want my daughter to like her mom,i enjoy happy endings,too. But life seldom has neat TV endings. i couldn't even tell her much about her mom when i told my daughter the truth about us 10-11years ago, because i don't remember much about her-except for the married, wife beating, coke crazed drug dealer i used to poach deer with that she married after their divorces were final. And by golly, i was right,he beat her, too. Even though I've hurt many people,i've never hit a Woman & don't take kindly to those that do. Her mom wanted my daughter to go along with a ghost written book & hit the TV exploitation circut with it. But my daughter is a private person who doesn't need her 15 minutes. i don't think there's much of a story & i was a big part of it, but it seems there is still an interest. A book may yet happen & if it does,it will be more truth than fiction. If it happens (and turns into a TV movie),i hope you buy it. This fine old house needs more repairs than it's worth & it would be cheaper & safer to raze it & build a new one,than to have even free labor me try & fix it.She can use the money & deserves it-if only because she was finally reunited with a woman who still isn't much of a mom.

Aztec Warriors NO. 2

conphx — Sun, 18 Feb 2007 06:45:20 GMT

Since i am now of peasant class, i walked to K-mart & bought 2 cheap ,servicable. plastic feeders. One i hung on the back porch, outside my daughters' bedroom, the other right outside my bedroom door where i can see it when i wake in the morning. It is also the closest to the house, only 2 ft. or so. At first i thought the ones around here were Anna's but they have crimson on their necks that flashes in the sun so i believe they're Costas. i no longer have my hummingbird books & i'm too incompetent to search the web, but it doesn't matter. They know what they are. i've read that the Aztecs believed that hummingbirds were the souls of warriors returned to earth. i like this because hummers are the bravest & most fearless creature that i know of. i've watched them chase each other, bigger birds, cats, dogs-whatever they think is intruding. When i first went to change the food, they tried to chase me, but i talk to them & they like that. i tell them that they are very brave & beautiful, call them pretty bird. They are very vain, love flattery (especially the males) & are used to me now. i can't think of one thing that brings me such pleasure for the price of sugar water as hummers. Every time i see one i'm amazed & delighted to be alive.

Aztec Warriors No. 1

conphx — Sun, 18 Feb 2007 06:09:29 GMT

i love hummingbirds. i didn't put that in my profile because i didn't want to seem like one of those sissies that love walks in the moonlight, puppies, kitties, flowers & such. Although, come to think on it, i am a sissy & i do love those things. When i came here to live there were no feeders up but i could hear hummers chittering in the trees & saw an occasional one. There was one good feeder with a glass bottle & perch around the feeding stations that i cleaned & hung in a pear tree about 25 feet from the side door. i can watch it every time i go outside to smoke, wash clothes, talk to the animals, etc. & it took a day for a bird to find it. Mountain hummers are a gregarious lot & i've seen 10-20 birds taking turns at one feeder. These desert hummers, however, are a much meaner bunch. One bird will lay claim to a feeder & chase off any interloper (except in mating season), so multiple feeders are a necessity. When my daughter & family went to the Glendale Chocolate Festival two weeks ago, they brought back a beautiful glass feeder that is also a work of art. i don't write well enough to describe it, but will write that the feeding stations are glass flowers with long necks into the reservoir that mimic real flowers. When i get this photo thing down, i will post a photo. This feeder was hung on the front porch, far enough from the first one to make a territorial bird exhausted trying to guard both.

Letter to my Ex

conphx — Sun, 11 Feb 2007 07:17:59 GMT

i never liked the Moody Blues that much-too pretentious, too many violins & pretty words. A lot of those English Rockers were art school students but they didn't act like it. i liked the Rolling Stones (up to "Exile on Main Street", the best album about Amerika ever recorded),& The Kinks-the most ripped off & unappreciated band in rock. The Moody Blues had one line i've never forgotten though & thought of often;"Letters I've written, never meaning to send." DEAR SWEET BEAUTIFUL BABY!! It's been so long since i've seen your sweet face & listened to your voice. You know how much i enjoyed hearing you talk! Much has changed with me, Dear One, not all for the good but i have become a wiser&better person. i know you are too-i only hope your process was more enjoyable. i have so very many things to tell you, but the most important is that i am still so very much in love with you. Do you remember that song-"I'll always be your slave, till I'm dead & buried in my grave"? That's me ,Baby-that's just the way it is. i've got it bad & that ain't good. You may believe that you wronged me in some way by taking everything i had & owned. It was just stuff Baby-i'm sorry i didn't have more for you to take. i don't know if it was you who dropped the dime on me Baby, but i don't care about that either. It worked out good & how wonderful it is to be able to see my family after so many years. If it was you, Thank You! i don't care about the house. It's too bad you couldn't keep it because that district went historical & has become a high priced enclave for yuppie scum-just like i knew it would when i bought that house 20 years ago. i saw a house around the corner going for a half million. It's too bad it happened too late for us. Maybe we'd be living in Globe or Patagonia now. i know you did the best you could. i don't even care about your boyfriend. i'd eat his cum out of your sweet pussy if you wanted -I'd suck his cock if it made you happy or shoot him if you liked. Whatever you wanted, just to be wirh you. Actually, i couldn't do the last anymore--that's part of the changes in me. i've found out that i can no longer intentionally hurt anything anymore, physically or mentally.The last time i had to defend myself i couldn't summon up that joyous cold rage & got my ass kicked good by someone i could have severely punished easy. At first i thought it was because i got sick (isn't it amusing that i now have the same disease your mother has?),but i'm starting to see the big picture now. i have few "emotions" left-anger,rage, hatred, jealousy, greed, etc., i don't need anymore. i'm still working on the indulgence of self pity, but this story called life is quite funny i now realize. And lust, Baby-i still lust & it's for you! i need to touch you , my body wants you so bad! i want to explore every inch of you with my tongue, starting with your toes. i want to fuck you the way you like,suck my cum out of you, & then lick & clean your sweet asshole. But most of all Darling One, i want to kiss you like you've never been kissed before. i want to kiss you with all that i've learned,all that i've become, all that i've suffered. i want to kiss you like i've never kissed before! i wrote the words to an album for you, Baby,called "Kelley's Blues". i want to tell that story to you with my lips. i want to explore the universe with my mouth & arms. i've been through a lot Dear One. Some of it took courage.There were times i didn't think i'd make it--times i didn't WANT to make it. But i've never been as afraid as i am now,knowing that i'll never see you again if that's what you want.That scares me so bad i don't know what to do. When i last went to sleep with you in my arms over 7 years ago, i never thought that would be the last time. i woke up early, unwrapped your arms from around your body (Do you still do that,i wonder), watched you sleeping & thought about how much i love you & have from the first time we met. i wish i could send this to you now,my love for you has only gotten stronger. If i don't see you again in this life,i'll be back for you again the next go around & you'll know me-i promise. Your boy in love.

house boy..

conphx — Thu, 08 Feb 2007 07:26:49 GMT

i'm the only one who doesn't work, attend school, or work & attend school in this house. That's fine with me-i've worked since i was 17 & i don't miss it. i used to have a lot of stuff,you know, the kind of stuff that people buy. i liked books & music,cheap art,so i had a lot of that kind of stuff,along with season tickets for the Phoenix Suns, Az. Rattlers (we watched them win the championship,playing at home), Az. Theatre Co.& lots of live music.Since i live in a desert (most people here forget that),i had a lot of desert plants. That was the only thing i could get to grow,but it also made sense. Now i have some clothes my family bought for me.i don't miss stuff but at times i miss money because money attracts Women-even the ones who swear that money doesn't matter to them in a relationship.i miss Women.i like Women & i've never been bored by one.Men bore me. Just because i don't have a job doesn't mean i'm lazy.i got one of those genes that force one to be "useful&productive".i cook,do yard work,clean-this is a very old house for Phoenix (where anything over 10 is old),it was built around 1924.nobody knows for sure,there are no records on it. It was moved here during the depression by my daughters' SOP's grandfather,who i never met. Here is a wonderful little known area where most of the homes have huge, irrigated lots;1/2 acre, up to 5 acres.This is a old farm type house, similar to many in the upper midwest. The problem is that it is falling apart, was ill-maintained & filthy. The grandparents had money, too. When he died he had about a million in the bank & she is in some ritzy managed care facility. You'd think they would have hired some illegals to clean,do yardwork,etc. Hondurans are really going cheap in these parts.They chose to spend their money on traveling-China,South America,Europe,Australia-all around the world. But i sure wish they hadn't cooked with grease so much.idon't know what the hell they were cooking but the grease build up was worse than any greasy spoon i've been in & i've been in some that didn't need grease traps because they were grease traps.When i'm going to set off the GREASE BOMB that happen when meat or whatever hits the hot oil, i take the trusty cast iron skillet outside where i don't worry about coating everything with grease mist. i usually use canola oil-it heats hotter than olive oil. There's enough to keep me busy here for a long time.i've found out that i'd make some lucky woman a great wife. One of those attractive,in their 40's career go getters-You know, with the SHORT SKIRT&LOOONG JACKET! i'd cook,clean, shop,repair whatever,give massages & foot rubs. When she came home tired & distressed, it would be to good food, a clean house & no nagging! Since I'm a masochist She could gag & beat me if nagged.The more She punished me,the more i'd love Her! Tough day at the office? Get out the WHIPS & CHAINS & take it out on me-PLEASE!! High-heels & boots dirty & need cleaning? PLEASE,PLEASE let me tongue clean every speck of dirt! Bored with me & want to go out with a new stud? PUT ME in a cage&PLEASE,PLEASE let me suck the cum out of Your Pussy-if You want,Your boyfriends can fuck my throat! Yes, masochists are very low maintanace. All i'd want is Her happy,contented-and to be tortured, used,abused & humiliated once in a while.

Vampires of Love

conphx — Mon, 05 Feb 2007 06:14:41 GMT

i must be getting sick (well, i am sick, i mean ill) & depressed. i haven't jerked off in 3-4 days& i don't even feel like cruising the perv sites. The problem, i think, is old love-my ex-wife. i was able to find her phone # through a web site. Last Fri., i called. i didn't expect her to answer & when she did, i chickened out & hung up. i called back & her son answered-i hung up again. One might think she doesn't want me contacting her if i'm going through all of this &one might be right. But it 's a long complicated story, one i won't go into now. The problem is , i've never stopped loving her & i'm really the one who was wronged-if one believes in such distinctions. i no longer do-right, wrong, does it really matter? No-there is no scorekeeper in this game of life, there is only we poor creatures carrying on the best we can with the information we have at the time. Person (i'm not using "People anymore since i'm the only one who reads this-which is why i,m doing it), how many love songs have been written, how many love letters, how many books written for & about love? Where do love & dreams go, where do they hide- energy is never created or destroyed. Are there vampires in another dimension that feed on lost love & dreams? Last week i cracked the crockpot! i wanted to heat up the world famous chicken soup & i was too lazy to put it in a pan. i took it out of the fridge & put the crock on low heat, thinking if i heated it up slow , it would be alright. When i heard that 22 caliber sounding CRACK, i wasn't surprised, & after i cleaned it & checked it, sure 'nuff, it leaked. Luckily, there was a ham bone in the freezer (who knows how long),& i had a bag of dried beans--one of those with about a hundred different types-red , white, green, yellow, black, brown, lima, blue, plaid, etc. First i boiled all the meat, fat off the bone instead of cooking the bone with the beans. i was hoping enough pig fat would get into the crack &seal it up & damn if it didn't! It sealed so tight , a couple of days later i made stew. Back to the beans: The secret to great beans (besides slow cooking & Chilpotle Tabasco) is brown sugar. Bush's baked Beans are the best beans in a can--Mine are waaay better. One of the greatest cooking utensiles (besides a crockpot) is a cast iron skillet. i used to have a big one, seansoned, taken care of, but i dropped it & it broke on the tile floor-back in the old days when Kelley Jo still loved me. i took it & a smaller one for collateral from a junkie that wanted 20 bucks. He said it was his grandma's & i believe it was, "cause one could tell someone had loved this pan & cooked many meals in it. The one i use now, i found in that drawer below the (non-working) oven-the one that nobody ever looks in. It had been mistreated, so grease encrusted that i had to do that what should never be done to cast iron--i washed & scoured it, with soap. Next i rubbed it down with canola oil & put it on the outside grill with the hood down, low heat for about 8 hours. Once cast iron is properly seasoned & treated, it shouldn't be washed. i clean mine with Kosher Salt. Pour some in, rub it around good with a rag, etc., & it's clean no matter what you cook or fry. Just don't burn the food in it & they are easier to use & care for than Teflon--much healthier too. With a crockpot & cast iron skillet, i could cook a moose. If anybody has an exta one lying around, let me know.

There's A Big Storm A Comin'

conphx — Thu, 01 Feb 2007 06:30:53 GMT

Now that i've stopped patroling the porn sites( mostly anyway-you should see the links on chasity.com! ), & realized i'm never going to have human sexual contact the rest of my life (unless i pay for it),i've got a lot more time for different things, so i decided to catch up on the news. Quess what? YOU PEOPLE ARE IN A WORLD OF HURT!!! The top 5 per cent own 120 per cent of everything-the rest of you are so far in debt that the devil won't hock your souls; a billion Mexicans are crossing the border, taking what jobs that haven't already been outsourced ( what a beautiful word-you haven't been fired ,youv'e been outsourced! ) to India&China; & you've allowed another Bush to be King. WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU PEOPLE THINKING??? So i've been out of touch with events for a while-that's no reason for me to understand what the hell happened. This is a nation of idiot masochists that didn't suffer enough during the first 4 years --you crowned him & his band of women hating christian thugs rulers a second time-- after "they" convinced you to invade piss ant Iraq (where more people are being murdered each day then when i lived in Detroit) so they could get richer. i could understand if all the women&children were sold into slavery. the men killed , the ground sown with salt, and you all got free gas the rest of your lives--that would also teach others not to fuck with the Amerikan Empire. But all this will get is quicker CHINAWORLD.COM. Since i have this extra time, i decided to find out who voted for this moron. i randomly called & talked to 56 million people so i could print names of bushyites.subjecting them to public scorn&humiliation. NOT ONE PERSON ADMITTED to voting facist. Come on, i know he' supposed to have stolen the elections but some body voted for him! Arizona has elected some really strange people, but none of them invaded Mexico. The current guv won the election the proper way-by brute force, 2 out of 3 falls. What other state has a bull dyke guv? Even you sissies in CA can't match that, with your phony tuff guy--i'll bet a years supply of chicken soup(and a blow job)that the AZ guv will kick "Arnies" ass any day of the week!

A Perverts Lament

conphx — Tue, 30 Jan 2007 19:23:10 GMT

i made chicken soup last Sat. i started by boiling a picked over chicken carcasse to make a stock, strained it to remove the unwanted bones & fat. i put the good stuff im the crockpot, then cut up some red potatoes that were sprouting & some carrots that had been around a while. i didn't have any noodles & i sure wasn't going to try & make any but there wasn't room anyway. i never follow a receipe & don't measure anything-that's the fun part of cooking. i just start adding spices, flavorings & stuff until it is edible & taste good. This soup had a bit of a hot bite to it-just enough to make it interesting. When i write, "My Anarchist Cookbook", it will be 1 page; Put a bunch of stuff together until it taste good. If your'e unable to do that, stay the hell out of the kitchen! i've decided to gve up the perv site patrol. That's about entrering into the brave new world of on-line matches & meetings. i have unusual requirements (i'm a sexually submissive masochist) & i don't have any money so i had to hit the free sites. i started out looking for DOMINANT WOMAN!!!! (that grabbed your attention) & i wasn't picky; ages 40-80, any body style, looks weren't important-all i wanted was a DECENT FEMALE SADIST to torture me&make me do disgusting things. but there doesn't seem to be a market for 55 yr. old ex-slaves with only a tolerance for pain&their soul to offer-that's old currency. i lowered my expectations to well hung dom. men. The fellow who wanted to stick a baseball bat up my ass, next decided he wanted to strangle me--but he had 2 yrs. experience so i quess that made him a journeyman. i'm sorry to report that even i have some standards&had to decline the oppurtunity. However, if it had been a WOMAN that wanted to smother me&stick objects into orfices, i would have begged for it! i had so many code words&login names i started to lose track of them--MASOCHIST4REAL , IBEG4PAIN, HUNGRYDEEPTHROAT, DEEPTHROATSLUT--if anyone wants to use them, i'll send the password. If not, give an old man a cheap thrill if you happen across those names on the perv sites. SEND him a message.