MINE!

it's easy to loose time with Chris...at any given moment we share music, musings on life, flicks new and old-and of course, Loony Tunes. he's taught me the true ways of power lounging whilst still managing to conquer the world. I would say I'm not worthy, except, well, I am.

Anyone who meets Chris can tell instantly that he is well-educated, intelligent, charming, and friendly. What you don't know is that he has the legs of a world class cyclist, has the hammock snuggles down to a science, and can really crank out the BTUs to keep a couple of chilly chicas caliente all night long. A man of many wigs and disguises but one giant heart. MUUUUUUUUUUUAH!

Truly, what more can be said about the legendary, nay infamous, newspaper magnate, Christopher T. Hearst III? That he once sold his own mother into beige slavery in the Urals just to fill some empty column inches in the "Lifestyles" insert? That he once had a copyboy flogged for mistaking an em-dash for an en-dash? That he once spent over half of his personal fortune to purchase Howard Hughes' "Spruce Goose" from the Smithsonian, only to have it entirely repanelled in birch? That he stands watch over his vast media empire around the clock, with no more than thirty minutes of sleep every six hours? That he drinks an awful lot of tea?

All of this is already well known, a matter of public record. But if I could give you a glimpse behind the legend, as I have been so fortunate to have briefly had, only then would you see this great man as he truly is. And you too would call him "friend."

Chris is a cheeky naughty
he reads and sometimes plays.
Why oh why oh why oh why oh why
does he live so far away.