Bharat Blog

all love

Misha — Fri, 16 May 2008 07:44:07 GMT

First of all, thank you every one for any and all well wishes sent out for the relief and illumination of all being, including my dad. Sat Nam! I'm sending this to incubate him with the light through collective prayer and in case anyone has any useful feedback. Today my dad was diagnosed with Lou Gehrigs Disease, otherwise known as ALS. As you might imagine, we have been doing research and have learned a little bit more about it. It is a degenerative nerve disease that usually takes the person in 3-5 years, and in the meantime they witness and experience their body fall apart. He's lost the fingers of his left arm so far and some wrist. tremors are spreading through his body as the nerves start to break down. His right (good) arm twitches constantly...he's also been falling down. Worldwide this affects 1-2 people every 100.000. We took him in to the emergency room on Saturday because of these symptoms, imagining the diagnosis to be a pinched nerve and expecting an emergency neck surgery. On Monday the neurosurgeon confirmed that the problem wasn't structural and as of today the MRI, cat scan, and spinal tap brought the ALS diagnosis. For all the U.S. Amma kids, this is what Jason Becker has... We are pretty good, some laughing and joy, some shock and private grieving. A lot of adjustment and tasks lining up to be taken care of for this new part of the story. I wrote this as the sun set today and we were driving with Dad across the beautiful hills of Cathey's Valley (he was discharged this afternoon with instructions to file for disability and quit work.) We were all happy to be outside. For You I can see us in the hills when the brief green opulence of Spring has already passed not quite unexpectedly, and yet there is a kind of surprise every time as if it is new to lose the green hills already we stand on the in-between mottled ground A strong 50-something and a vital 20-something and walk through the hills as it grows darker and darker together and alone, cloaked in great silence We continue walking even when the light has moved off and i think that even though we have the strength to keep walking it is too dark, and sooner or later every one has to rest ... my prayer is that the great great great opportunity to awaken the dormant infinite within and cleansing of mis-alignment that these kinds of experiences carry in the billowing robes that trail behind them as they move will blossom a thousand times. May mind be freed and death of constructs that no longer serve come come come now. Please help us all make this prayer for our Beloved(s) and for all of the world that benefits truly from our love, now. The great wisdom is coming through this man now, as is beauty. Sweetness and beauty, that is what it looks like. I thank God and Guru for giving me eyes to see it, a heart to let him flow through, and hands that respond with which i can assist in the little ways that his abilities leave off. He did all this for me once. Oh ma! YOU. Prayers of simple love and in sight to ALL. Bless you! Sat Nam

End days

Misha — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 06:28:38 GMT

April 2–8 Malaysia, Thailand, Korea Renunciation is beautiful. Conservation is yoga. Better than having the beautiful this or that that attracts the mind/eye and feeds the vasana, is to live in simplicity with love in my heart. Traveling through these countries (Singapore, Malaysia) consumption is a disorder that has spread far and wide on earth. Two days program in Malaysia. Even compared to the Indian programs, the devotion and sincerity with which these people embrace Amma, the tour staff, and the heartfelt love they pour into every detail of the programs is totally inspiring. These people have been authentically touched and moved to action since Amma came into their life. I could feel that the program was not mental, but was straight from the heart. One woman in particular has taken Amma’s example and run with it. She has facilitated projects to help children receive clothing, food, transportation and schooling. They also provide assistance for extremely impoverished women. She talked to Amma for a long time, and appeared to be receiving some guidance. There were maybe 15,000 people each day who are in the beginning stages with Amma, the phase where the inspiration is peaked and the bhakti is bursting out of every pore. I spent most of the time sitting just behind Amma bagging the offerings: garlands as She pulled them off, and fruit... It was wonderful to be with Her all night, to be the “Lord’s attendant” and realize the meaning of my middle name (Camille)! A whole train of people affected with disability and disease were lifted in their wheelchairs to be embraced. Many children came through. It was clear that many of those people will have big healing simply because their faith and love for Her is so strong... the formula for grace to flow. At one point, just before Amma left the hall on the last day of program, a Malay volunteer began sobbing loudly with joined palms just beside me. We were both facing Amma, me half-sitting on a tall table and him standing. For a while people just stared. No one comforted him. My heart went out, but I wasn’t sure if he was stable so I sat there for a minute. After awhile he must have felt my empathy because when I looked to him he turned to me and in that same posture with joined palms, he looked into my eyes with tears flowing. I reached out and touched his hand, and looked deep into his eyes smiling. But I had no idea where the obstruction/problem was and therefore didn’t know what he needed. I felt the limit of my capacity to relieve him... After a long time he fully prostrated and then we turned back to Amma. Someone came and asked him something and left. About 10 minutes later that man returned and handed him a darshan token. He fell to the ground in gratitude, and that was clearly part of what he was longing for so desperately. He had worked who knows how many days or months and didn’t have a token to go to Amma up until that last minute. When he got to Amma’s lap his sobbing became louder. Amma held him for a very long time, talked with him, and they laughed loudly. When he came down the ramp, just by looking at him I felt in awe of Amma and what She is doing for people. She knew just what medicine to give him. Her love doesn’t look like ordinary human love. Her love is perfect. That is why sometimes the teacher can appear cruel or show various faces that aren’t necessarily polite, because it is designed to awaken. Later, on a train, I ran into a woman who I had noticed on stage at the time of that darshan. I asked her if she knew what Amma had said, and she said that the man had said something about being unworthy for Her darshan and that he should wait. Amma said that that was like waiting for the waves in the ocean to subside before jumping in for a swim. And here is all there is to say about our few days on Koh Phangan island in Thailand: it is an incredibly beautiful place with great houses for rent between 200-1000 dollars a month, depending mostly on the view. Way up in the mountains, I rode on an elephant through part of the jungle. I saw jungle creatures and felt nature. Elephant God! It moves like Amma. When it passed by it’s baby they caressed each other really sweetly and put their trunks in each others mouths. There was a delicious abundance of food, shared communal meals with old and new friends on balconies overlooking spectacular sunsets, creamy sand and the most appealing water I’ve ever swam in. I could lie on my back, totally relax and float. We drove motorcycles around...nobody staring (ahhh)...friends who lovingly met us off the boat and guided us to get set up...beautiful humanity... alcohol and substance abuse everywhere...lack of respect for Ma Earth...lasciviousness because of a swamis encouragement in “tantra”...talks amongst practitioners from various traditions... Now we are in Seoul, Korea. We will board the flight soon to fly to SFO. This will be the end of these posts... Aum Amritesvaryai Namaha. Mother, I’m going to my home country now. May I be prasad for You! Let me remember that You are always by my side, do Your work, and know You as my own Self. Let this life be lived for You. And may all the beings receive Your love and reflection. May all beings have the ability to see the true reflection. ...to be Your love, to wear this form like an outfit, to be as spirit, to be the high Self free from identification, eating to live (not living to eat), in awareness, detaching mind from sense objects, releasing and transmuting any obstructions of Your light, making offerings, feeding people, remaining both withdrawn and present and relaxed... MA MA MA MA MA MA MA MA MA MA MA MA MA MA MA MA! AMBE JAGADAMBE!

To experience through gratitude

Misha — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 09:49:41 GMT

Thomas Traherne (1637-1674): You never enjoy the world aright till you see how a sand exhibits the wisdom and power of God; and prize in every thing the service which they do you by manifesting His glory and goodness to your soul, far more than the visible beauty on their surface or the material services they can do your body. Wine by its moisture quenches my thirst, whether I consider it or no; but to see it flowing from His love who gave it unto man, quenches the thirst even of the holy angels. To consider it is to drink it spiritually. To rejoice in its diffusion is to be of a public mind. And to take pleasure in all the benefits it does to all is heavenly, for so they do in heaven. To do so is to be divine and good, and to imitate our infinite and eternal Father. Your enjoyment of the world is never right till every morning you awake in heaven; see yourself in your Father’s palace; and look upon the skies and the earth and air as celestial joys: having such a reverend esteem of all, as if you were among the angels. The bride of a monarch, in her husband’s chamber, has no such causes of delight as you. You never enjoy the world aright till the sea itself flows in your veins, till you are clothed with the heavens, and crowned with the stars; and perceive yourself to be the sole heir of the whole world; and more than so, because men are in it who are every one sole heirs, as well as you. Till you can sing and rejoice and delight in God, as misers do in gold, and kings in scepters, you never enjoy the world. Till your spirit fills the whole world, and the stars are your jewels; till you are as familiar with the ways of God in all ages as with your walk and table; till you are intimately acquainted with that shady nothing out of which the world was made; till you love men so as to desire their happiness, with a thirst equal to the zeal of your own; till you delight in God for being good to all: you never enjoy the world. Till you more feel it than your own private estate, and are more present in the hemisphere, considering the glories and the beauties there, than in your own house. Till you remember how lately you were made, and how wonderful it was when you came into it: and more rejoice in the palace of your glory, than if you had been made but today morning. You never enjoy the world aright till you see all things in it so perfectly yours that you cannot desire them any other way; and till you are convinced that all things serve you best in their proper places. For can you desire to enjoy anything in a better way than in God’s image?

Amma’s Unsent Letter

Misha — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 10:00:32 GMT

“It was two years since I came for Amma’s darshan. Even so, during darshan Amma did not utter a word to me. In the past, how much Amma used to talk to me! Now Amma has many devotees to love Her. Amma has no love left for me...” After reading out this letter to Amma, Lakshmi readied the tape-recorder for Her reply. Amma receives thousands of letters daily in several languages from all over the world. Amidst Her tight work schedule, amma will briefly reply to those who need a direct response. The normal practice is that these letters are translated and read out to Amma in Malayalam and Amma’s replies are then translated back into the respective languages before they are sent. Lakshmi often reads the letters to Amma while She is brushing Her teeth, combing Her hair after Her bath, or having tea. In fact, owing to the attention She gives while replying, Amma sometimes forgets to attend to Her own needs. When She heard these words, Amma, who was eating, sat silently for a moment. Then She began to reply as if speaking directly to the complainant: “Dear daughter, you are saying that Amma doesn’t love you; that Amma did not talk to you even though you came for darshan after two years. Amma only knows how to love; She doesn’t know how to show love. Amma could not say anything because her heart was overflowing with love when She saw you. Can all those things of the past two years be talked about in just two seconds? Can the ocean of love be contained in the shell of a word? But daughter, you should know that for so many years, even now and always, Amma is with you day and night as your shadow. My dear daughter, you should be kind enough to show a bit of love to Amma too. You have no idea how eager Amma has been to hear a word from you or at least to see you thinking about Amma. “Let me remind you about some of yesterday’s events. How many times in the early morning did Amma whisper in your ears, ‘Get up, get up?’ But you only went deeper under your blanket. Later, when you got up hesitantly, Amma was sure that you would remember Her for a moment or at least turn to the table to glance at Amma’s photo. But it doesn’t matter—maybe you had important things to think about. After all, Amma only has to look after her children. “Then to remind you that you have a Mother, your young daughter was made to say, ‘Good morning, mummy.’ To what end? When your daughter anxiously extended her hands to touch you, you scolded her and chased her away, shouting, ‘brush your teeth and take a bath!’ Amma thought that perhaps you had gotten up on the wrong side of the bed. Comforting Herself with the thought that there was still time left, Amma entered the kitchen. There you started looking for the box of matches after turning the cooking gas on. When you could not find it, you started cursing everyone. Fortunately, your husband, who was shaving then, smelt the gas and thus helped to avoid a major accident. Amma felt relieved. But Amma’s hope of hearing a word of thanks from your mind for God’s Grace, if not for Amma’s, was wasted. “Amma was still with you, supporting you when you slipped in the bathroom; reminding you to take the office key before you stepped out of the house; stirring compassion in the mind of the bus driver who had started moving away from you; and ensuring your feet didn’t slip when you jumped onto the footboard of the bus. “Arriving ahead of you in your office, Amma found that your boss was in a very angry mood. He was getting ready to shout at you. What could Amma do? At once a close friend of his was made to telephone and convey some very good news. It was when he was rejoicing at the news that you arrived. Fortunately, he didn’t say a word to you. “Amma knows that Her dear daughter has a lot of responsibilities in the office. But Amma keeps prompting the right course in your innermost being. But more often then not, this subtle voice is drowned in the echoes of your thoughts. “Still, Amma thought that you would remember Her at least while taking out your lunch box, before eating. Even when it was shown to you through the example of the person sitting next to you, it did not occur to you that you should thank God for the food you were about to have. Standing outside the room and keen to eat a ball of rice from your hand, Amma extended Her hand. Even though you saw, you turned away. Finally, when you threw the leftovers into the waste bin, Amma snatched and ate a handful from the dogs and felt satisfied. After all, Her children’s leftovers are prasad. “You rested for awhile after lunch. Amma waited for you to say something to her then. But your interest was in speaking ill of others with your friends. ‘Can’t Amma expect for Herself a small percentage of Her daughter’s love for her friends?’ She wondered. ‘Oh no, a mother should not have such hopes. Children have a world of their own. At times, they may not even like their mother to enter it.’ “While walking back from the office, Amma’s eyes were on your every step. The slab covering the drain on your way was about to break into pieces. Will daughter step on it? O! Saved just by a step! While you were crossing the road, Amma’s heart sank. My daughter has not noticed the speed of the car that has overtaken a truck. Oh my God! My child! Amma had to act quickly. All she could lay her hands on was a fly. But it took a moment for you to rub your eye, and in that moment the car raced past. Though Amma does not know any God or Goddess apart from Herself, in Her sankalpa as Mother, She sometimes calls out to the Lord. But, how is it that not a word of thanks to that Vishwashakti (Universal Power) dropped from your lips? ”The evening chanting could be heard clearly through the loudspeakers in the nearby temple; you used to sing those prayers when you were young. Amma was so eager to hear you singing once again the way you had sung then. Alas, the fruitless hopes of a mother! “Amma then joined you in completing the evening chores—calling to your attention the right things at the right time, lending a helping hand and transmitting enthusiasm to your tired mind. Amma knows that a married daughter, who has also become a mother, will be able to remember her own mother only at the very last moment. Finally, daughter switched off the kitchen light. A few moments were left before going to bed. Amma—living like an orphan in a dusty glass frame in the puja room, behind a tarnished lamp lit by the servant maid only to prevent a scolding—waited hopefully for a glance from her daughter. It was then that the sound of the TV arose. Amma went to see what her daughter’s favorite program was. It was a mindless story, interspersed with tasteless advertisements. Daughter was yawning and rubbing her eyes. ‘If it is so boring, why can’t she stand up and walk away?’ Amma thought. ‘Instead, she is watching the whole serial, criticizing the producers and actors. Keeping the homework aside, little daughter is also sitting and watching. If the gardener himself lets the flowers buds be attacked by pests, to whom can we complain? Can a mother contain all her inner sorrows in a sigh? No! At least before going to bed, utter one word or think one thought of prayer! This day has gone like this. Tomorrow...my dear daughter will certainly remember Me tomorrow. Sleep well daughter, let Amma cover you with a sheet of beautiful dreams. Even if Her daughter doesn’t know it, let Amma’s warm kisses moisten her forehead. Along with an accidental teardrop...” Amma stood up suddenly, as if waking up from a dream. “Oh Lakshmi, what did I say? Don’t write those things to her. My child will be hurt. ‘Amma could not speak because of the rush. Don’t worry, Amma is always with you. Kisses to My darling daughter. Kisses... kisses... kisses...’ This is all you should write.” “Amma you haven’t eaten anything. When will...” “It doesn’t matter. It is time for darshan. My children must be anxious, waiting so long.”

Annadāna

Misha — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 09:56:36 GMT

~Excerpt from Annadāna - The Gift of Food by Vandana Shiva “We have 820 million people in the world, which is one quarter of humanity, not having enough to lead a healthy life, and the rest of the people eating the foods that are produced by this rush for growth in surplus getting bad food and getting ill anyway. For the latter are those who eat before giving, without ensuring that the last person has been liberated from hunger. In that context, even the well fed have diseases. So, you have literally the whole world suffering from diseases of the denial of nourishment; those who do not have food, and those who have too much of it. For the very way in which this food is being produced, processed and distributed is violating the sacred trust which recognizes food as the basis of life. “...So, what you are getting is a world that is absolutely the obverse of the world of the giving of food, because it is the sacred trust. Instead, it is the taking of food from the food chain and the web of life, and that is where most technologies are progressing from the hybrid to the terminator, to the so-called ‘smart technologies’, which are just cleverer at taking away and therefore apparently producing more by denying other beings their rightful share of the gifts of the planet, and the gifts of the cosmos. So instead of daana, we have profits and greed as the highest organizing principle. Unfortunately, the more the profit, the more the hunger, the more the illness; the more the destruction of Nature, of soil, of water, of biodiversity, the more non-sustainable our food systems become; and we then we then actually become surrounded by deepening adaana (non-giving), which is showing up in terms of more suicides of farmers, or of farmers selling their kidneys to pay back debts. Not the ecological debt to Nature, to the earth and to other species, but the financial debt to the money-lenders and to other species, but the financial debt to the money-lenders and to the agents of chemicals and seeds. That ecological debt is in fact replaced by this financial debt: the giving of nourishment and food is replaced by the taking of more and more in the terms of profits. “This is, in my view, a deep climate in which we are all being forced, against our will, to participate in very pervasive sin. And I think what we need to do now is to start to find ways of detaching ourselves from these sinful arrangements, because it is nothing less than that. It is not just replacing free trade with fair trade, it is not little bits and pieces. Unless we see how the whole is leading to a poisoning and pollution of our very beings, of our very consciousness, we will not be able to make the deeper shifts that allow us to create abundance again, because in the taking of more we are not creating abundance, we are creating scarcity. And the growing diseases of affluence are a third part of the scarcity: we are actually not producing abundance because we are basing everything on ‘How can you take more? – how can you take more out of Nature, how can you take more out of the Third World, how can you take more out of the poor? “If we relocate ourselves again and again in the sacred trust that is ecology, and recognize our debt and duty to all human beings and non-human beings, the protection of the rights of all human and non-human species simply becomes part of our ethical norm and our ethical duty. And the care of the non-human leads then to the care of the human, it leads to our being able to maintain our farms on the land. If we realize that our farmers are basically earthworm-carers we can be absolutely sure that the combine-harvesters are the wrong things to have—we do need people who replenish the soil. And, as the result of that, those who depend on others for feeding them and for bringing them food, the consumers, will also get the right kind of food and the right kind of nourishment. The care of all creatures means the care of our cultivators; and the care of our cultivators means the care of our consumers. So, if we begin with the nourishment of the web of life, we actually solve the economic crisis of small farms, the health crisis that consumers are facing, and the economic crisis of Third World hunger and Third World poverty—all these in a way just flow out of relocating our dependence on other life-forms, and ensuring that their food needs are the basis of how we grow and produce food.”

Breathe In Breathe out

Misha — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 11:09:33 GMT

Goddess, May peace exist not only in essence but be bridged into manifestation...with as much grace as possible in respect to the attachments of mankind. Thank you for the great goal, for the wonder of You, and for all that You do to bring the mind out of limiting notions. Thank you for the beauty and the challenges that bring us to the depth and breadth of the boundless timeless Spirit and to the bliss of being: being satisfied, being present and perfect. MA! Prayers and much love toward All jivas who have done great works of love and sacrifice to receive the boon of life and a human body. May dharma be restored. May the mind be illuminated and all beings be happy, serving each other first, filled with compassion. I pray now that if we aren't already, we will pour all of the extra energy and love that fills our hearts and express it in ways that uplift others. I have had some nice days, and thought to share a bit of it. Finally, I am beginning to arise pre-dawn and practice. That’s the way to start the day! This morning, as I was sitting near the top of the high-rise structure that we live in, there was a fresh early morning breeze. I faced the backwaters and could see boatmen way below: dark skinned and nearly naked, diving out of the boats that are like big canoes, which they power with long poles. There was the beauty of the palm trees stretching as far as can be seen, laced with mist. Occasionally a pure white bird crossed by far below. And high in the sky there was light breaking through the grey-blue with eagles riding the currents. Last week my friend and I went for a boat ride on the backwaters. It was beautiful. A really big fish leapt out of the water about 8 ft and made a big arch over the bow. It was the maha-fish. I’ve never even seen one fish jump in there. We also saw jellyfish and loads of birds, and little Indian girls in bright dresses waving from the shore. It is extremely quiet here, aside from the extremely loud loud-speakers that begin at 4 and don’t stop until sunset. Amma is finishing up the North India tour. She’ll be in Delhi for the next two days. We are busy with ashram projects, and getting ready for traveling again. Mahesvara runs the internet room and children’s library, and works on construction projects and book editing. I’ve been editing, painting, making jewelry, and trying to finish a few writing and graphic projects. Yesterday I listened to some of Eckhart Tolle’s book A New Earth, which is right on, and a tape about sound and sound therapy by Andrew Weil. NVC (non-violent communication) is crucial. I highly recommend the book and/or workshops. It is applicable both internationally and personally in regard to how to improve communication and listen and speak in our hearts...to touch what is alive. It is very practical, and has been monumental for me and a bunch of the kids here... so it is when we practice actively listening... but NVC has something special to offer. MA

A True Reflection, A Perfect Example

Misha — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 13:53:35 GMT

Sat Guru Dev Ki Jai Hanuman represents active devotion. MA MA MA MA MA MA MA MA MA Thank you for the sustenance that nourishes Thank you for a selfless support Thank you for reminding me You are with me always MA! MA! MA! MA! MA! MA! MA! MA! MA! I made a day trip to Varkala (the beach that we can swim at a couple hours from Amritapuri) with my friend Gagana. We immediately found my friend Ken and his partner, originally from Senegal, in the “African Village”, which is his big red, green and gold house where they hold African drum and dance workshops. Nice to be deepening in a bit here, getting to know the shop keepers and locals. Blessed to be in the sun after three months indoors or fully clothed, and feel the water for a minute. There was a really strong tide that immediately pulled my body out out out. It all happened so fast. It seemed that safety was secure, then i blinked and she was way too far away and I was getting sucked out without being able to use my feet to dig in. Gagana came and the whole thing was moved through almost instantly. The danger came in the drawing back of a wave. The hand that pulled me out was carefully placed. A life guard cleared that part of the ocean directly after because of the strong rip tide. Other than that there was yummy lunch at a Tibetan restaurant high on a cliff overlooking the sea and Italian lunch with tan vacationers around and loud basey dance music. It’s a bit strange to leave the ashram...just feeling the shift. We visited a Tibetan shop and found beautifully resonant singing bowls. I have one and am loving it. Writing these blogs has a funny paradox: some of you skim through the spiritual stuff to read the personal stuff, and some of you skim over the personal stuff to read the spiritual. This is more of my inclination, so I’m sorry to those of you with whom I have a more personal connection, I won’t be posting so much of that anymore. All my love coming through clearer as the great unfolding is... Blessings of Great Love to all children of the Omkara, wielders and intentions of Light... JAI MA!

Uyirayi Oliyayi

Misha — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 09:17:34 GMT

These are the words to the bhajan Uyirayi Oliyayi. The sound of this song is beautiful... O Goddess Uma, where are You who is said to be the life, light, and firmness of the earth? O artful One who exists as wind, sea, and fire; have You no mercy on me? All wisdom has fled to a distance and repeated births continue. Unreality has become reality and all defects are increasing in the absence of You who are the real knowledge concealed. You are protecting this pitiful city (the body) stinking with blood, bone, and flesh. We clean the surface of the body alone, knowing not its Lord. The monkey of the mind wanders ceaselessly holding in its hand the fruit of conceit. Reflecting not on its real nature it becomes food for the god of death.

Aum Ma Ma Ma

Misha — Sun, 24 Feb 2008 06:08:52 GMT

Salutations to Amma... ...whose hair stood on end when she touched the river of His (Krishna's) beauty. (45) ....who steals away all bad tendencies from the hearts of those who have taken refuge in Her lotus feet. (77) ...who resides in the cave of the hearts of the pious that are drenched with the nectar of devotion. (78) ...who watches over all the actions of the disciples. (93) ...who is happy in exchanging her own merits with the demerits of others. (100) ...who is happy in exchanging heaven with hell for the relief of other. (101) ...who is the Great Divine Mother. (107) ....who is full of divine love and immortal bliss. (108) (These are some translations of names from Amma’s 108, w/o the Sanskrit) Heart fam, namaskar. Most find themselves working or committed to various things in the world and not immersed in an environment like this, so i hope it is helpful. Sometimes we are referred to as inmates: bars on the windows, simple food, less luxuries such as hot water, ice... (Although it is changing all the time and there is less and less edge) so, here’s word from the inside... Ma Ma Ma! We are back from the trip to Mangalore. Being with MA was joy and I desired to be going on with the rest of the tour staff, but its time to rest and I am grateful to have been able to attend that program. And what a program. If any of you have felt and witnessed Amma during a Devi Bhava, you can guess at the experience of a Brahmastanam temple installation. Timelessness, light, and shakti was coursing from Her and through the atmosphere. Ineffable. I was blessed to be right in front of the Devi face of the murti, really close to Mother and the center of the temple. For a portion of it, Amma is up on the roof installing the top. I couldn’t see it from where I was, but i could feel wave upon wave washing over and through the body. And at one point, She poured water and milk and it was running down the sides of the roof and dripping on outstretched hands and being thrown out over the crowd. It was a bunch of little lit up, blissed out, joyful babies splashing in Mother's amrita. Wow. Then there was a mosh pit and Amma held me steady through friends so I could be close. When She came out to leave there was a flash of fast amped up energy, like I was a water molecule in a pot of boiling water. And She washed by like a great football field sized wake of shakti. (Although I don’t really know the size because I was so close and because what is time and space to Amma...radiant MA) I went to the hotel and slept for 15 hrs after that. Then trains and auto rickshaws to get back to the ashram. It was getting a bit rough out there with all the pollution and haggling. Just resting now in this little room and listening to the ocean rhythm. We have our tix to Singapore for March 22. There we will get the rest booked for Malaysia and then a train and boat up into Thailand for a week. Amma gave me Her blessing to stay in Amritapuri after that. We are hosting Non-violent communication workshops in the flat. NVC is a really great process for true communication. I don’t know much about it yet, but it is a way to bring active compassion into the manifestation and resolve unconscious patterns and conditioning around the way we communicate. There is a book, if you want to check it out, by Marshal Rosenburg. I feel so blessed to be shaking off the dust. Amma, I pray for all of us to attract and receive exposure to the practices that resonate with each one in our various affinities and be liberated from patterns that hold us in lower vibrational frequencies, that we may move quickly through the obstructions in order to bear Your great light for the upliftment and healing of the beings in our immediate environment and the whole planet and beyond, as to Your will/ the will in alignment with all that is. Mahesh wants me to say that we caught sight of a gecko tasting my toothbrush with it's tiny little tongue. And here it goes Maggie: NAMASTE and loving you Jai Ma

Temple of One

Misha — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 08:55:41 GMT

A certain person came to the Friend’s door and knocked. “Who’s there?” “It’s me.” The friend answered, “Go away. There’s no place for raw meat at this table.” The individual went wandering for a year. Nothing but the fire of separation can change hypocrisy and ego. The person returned completely cooked, walked up and down in front of the Friend’s house, gently knocked. “Who is it?” “You.” “Please come in, my Self. There’s no place in this house for two.” Rumi ___ and then a poem i just wrote: You are here You are away It is the same Now You have responded to the invitation and crossed the threshold of my inner chamber You come to initiate me You come bearing great gifts Show me no-fear Speak Your hidden name And I will follow You into our temple The temple of One --- I've been practicing taking the emotions or energy that is sparked from a personal connection and interpreting it through my relationship with my Self, as it is. This is how these pieces are coming through.

let us now go within

Misha — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 08:49:19 GMT

Jai Ma! This list for good parenting is up on the ecomail homepage, and it made me think that these are all things that Amma does; even scheduling family recreation. 1. Keeping stress to yourself. 2. Leading by example. 3. Being consistent. 4. Staying involved. 5. Scheduling family recreation. 6. Teaching. 7. Creating family rituals. Devi... pranams. May I become a disciple that you can count on for transmitting your sakti, that I may become a vessel of your mission in the world, even after you leave Your mortal frame. May i take this possibility seriously and put utmost effort into being consistent and steady in the practices that will make me fit to receive You. Please send healing and comfort to my sister, Rachelley, who is ill right now. Aum Amritesvaryai Namaha

Blossoming Flower

Misha — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 16:22:56 GMT

Translation of a bhajan Mother led a few nights ago called Oru Koccu Pulnambin: I am a dew drop at the far edge of a tiny leaf of grass, alive a while, aching, tremulous, delicately poised, dripping, emptying, and will be no more. Poor me, can I scan the meaning of the mystery of the mazy world, time’s ceaseless motion, its drift, thrust and goal? Cramped in the world, bound in time, can I see the Truth transcending world and time? Crazy and deluded, I take for real what light and shade shape and throw up fleeting chimeras; I take for stable what their endless play conjures up; frothy nothing. Light casts shadows, shade ceases when light is no more. Ah! The myriad forms, all comely, spring into sight in light but where are they when the light illumines them not? I gaze and gaze at the blooming flower, scented and flushed. I am enchanted, enthralled by the blossom swaying and smiling, and give it rapturous praise in my thoughtless ignorance. But what a fool I make myself not to know that frail beauty will droop and drop ere sundown, not to know that my bursting dreams will wither and die alike. When the ‘immeasurable’ time I seek to ‘measure’, the ‘I’ fades away, ‘you’ and ‘all’ are all erased. If the ‘I’ is not, who is to know whom? A void absolute. When the ‘unfathomable’ ocean I seek to fathom, I dissolve into the vast deep roaring brine together with my rod. Ah! Then, there is no ‘me’ to swim ashore to tell its depth. Amma went for the North India, Singapore, Malaysia, Australia tour today. We intend to take a train with some ashramite kin to a Brahnastanam temple installation on the 17th in Mangalore. So hoping to be with Her there... And we’re discussing flying to the Singapore & Malaysia programs. Amma was walking by the night before last on the way to Her room after Bhajans and I had a note for Her. She swept by and took it out of my hand with perfect grace. I mentioned that Mahesh would soon be returning to California because his unemployment checks hadn’t come. I asked for Her blessing to stay without him, shared a health concern and that I felt strong now. Today the money came through. So many of you write or otherwise express being disheartened in the various channels of your lives. Be encouraged! Despite mounting obstacles, there is always a way, and spirit is always guiding us even when the mind is clouded. In The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho says that we are here to realize our personal legend. Whether or not that means acting it out, it seems to be the jiva or individual soul’s task to cultivate and bring light to the desires that have brought them to this realm. One Portuguese astrologer said to me last year “Before you can renounce yourself you have to know yourself.” He also asked this, “Where is the girl who runs around taking care of everybody? Where did she go?” I replied, “I think she died.” because when identity fell apart post injury the positive attributes fell away too. But, Amma has given such good clear advice regarding this. She say’s that just because Amma embraces everybody does not mean that we should. She said that She does this because She directly perceives the One without division or gap. She say’s that if we are living in a dualistic world we should speak and use the terms of duality and try to cultivate good qualities. When I asked Her how to remember Her she responded by saying that a sadhak (spiritual aspirant) should keep away from those with negative tendencies, and emphasized three times that this was very important. Then She gave the example of building our house next to a perfume factory instead of a chemical factory. In Her last time out to feed us on Tuesday, Someone from the crowd complained about toxic bug spray being used on tours. Amma said that there are many toxins now. We should take some precaution, but laughed heartily about trying to air-condition the whole world and said that we should work on trying to air-condition our own minds instead. I think of Her quote, “If the mind is agitated the world will appear agitated.” MA! asato ma sat gamaya, tamaso ma jyotir gamaya, mrityor ma amritam gamaya aum shanti shanti shanti I feel you as my blossoming heart a knot long ago tied crumbles and aches apart You are always in that heart as a great shade giving forest or a tiny forgotten seed I used to run and run, eager to know your truth Now, doubt has prostrated in your expansive love and there is joyful peace I long to offer endless timeless prostration to the light which dispels darkness Still the maya seems too real selfishness, pride, vanity I offer these ignorances to you that they may become a burnt offering If you will have me, I am not afraid to die immediately If you desire this little girl please eat her and dance in this form in the purified shrine of the heart that is in bloom.

Bhagavad Gita Chapter 12

Misha — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 15:39:31 GMT

This is an English translation from the MA Math archana book as translated by Sri Aurobindo. The translation of the Gita presented here was compiled mainly from Sri Aurobindo's "Essays on the Gita". It first appeared in "The Message of the Gita", edited by Anilbaran Roy, in 1938. Sri Aurobindo approved this book for publication; however, he made it clear in one of his letters that the translations in the Essays were "more explanatory than textually precise or cast in a literary style". Many of them are paraphrases rather than strict translations. Sri Aurobindo also wrote that he did not wish extracts from the Essays "to go out as my translation of the Gita". This should be borne in mind by the reader as he makes use of this translation, which has been provided as a bridge between the Gita and Sri Aurobindo's Essays. CHAPTER XII BHAKTIYOGA 1. Arjuna said: Those devotees who thus by a constant union seek after Thee, and those who seek after the unmanifest Immutable, which of these have the greater knowledge of Yoga? 2. The Lord said: Those who found their mind in Me and by constant union, possessed of a supreme faith, seek after Me, I hold to be the most perfectly in union of Yoga. 3-4. But those who seek after the indefinable unmanifest Immutable omnipresent, unthinkable, self-poised, immobile, constant, they also by restraining all their senses, by the equality of their understanding and by their seeing of one self in all things and by their tranquil benignancy of silent will for the good of all existences, arrive to Me. 5. The difficulty of those who devote themselves to the search of the unmanifest Brahman is greater; it is a thing to which embodied souls can only arrive by a constant mortification, a suffering of all the repressed members, a stern difficulty and anguish of the nature. 6-7. But those who giving up all their actions to Me, and wholly devoted to Me, worship meditating on Me with an unswerving Yoga, those who fix on Me all their consciousness, O Partha, speedily I deliver them out of the sea of death-bound existence. 8. On Me repose all thy mind and lodge all thy understanding in Me; doubt not that thou shalt dwell in Me above this mortal existence. 9. And if thou art not able to keep the consciousness fixed steadily in Me, then by the Yoga of practice seek after Me, O Dhananjaya. 10. If thou art unable even to seek by practice, then be it thy supreme aim to do My work; doing all actions for My sake, thou shalt attain perfection. 11. But if even this constant remembering of Me and lifting up of your works to Me is felt beyond your power, then renounce all fruit of action with the self controlled. 12. Better indeed is knowledge than practice, than knowledge, meditation is better; than meditation, renunciation of the fruit of action, on renunciation follows peace. 13-14. He who has no egoism, no I-ness and my-ness, who has friendship and pity for all beings and hate for no living thing, who has a tranquil equality to pleasure and pain, and is patient and forgiving, he who has a desireless content, the steadfast control of self and the firm unshakable will and resolution of the Yogin and a love and devotion which gives up the whole mind and reason to Me, he is dear to Me. 15. He by whom the world is not afflicted or troubled, who also is not afflicted or troubled by the world, who is freed from the troubled agitated lower nature and from its waves of joy and fear and anxiety and resentment, he is dear to Me. 16. He who desires nothing, is pure, skillful in all actions, indifferent to whatever comes, not pained or afflicted by any result or happening, who has given up all initiative of action, he, My devotee, is dear to Me. 17. He who neither desires the pleasant and rejoices at its touch nor abhors the unpleasant and sorrows at its touch, who has abolished the distinction between fortunate and unfortunate happenings (because his devotion receives all things equally as good from the hands of his eternal Lover and Master), he is dear to Me. 18-19. Equal to friend and enemy, equal to honour and insult, pleasure and pain, praise and blame, grief and happiness, heat and cold (to all that troubles with opposite affections the normal nature), silent, content and well-satisfied with anything and everything, not attached to person or thing, place or home, firm in mind (because it is constantly seated in the highest self and fixed for ever on the one divine object of his love and adoration), that man is dear to Me. 20. But exceedingly dear to Me are those devotees who make Me (the Purushottama) their one supreme aim and follow out with a perfect faith and exactitude the immortalising Dharma described in this teaching.

Reaching for You

Misha — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 15:36:23 GMT

Article submitted to the Ashram Monthly Magazine: We just returned to Amritapuri from Mother’s South India tour. Being able to travel with Amma was the most amazing prasad. It was Her grace alone that made it possible despite the physical challenges of being paraplegic and needing the assistance of crutches and our brothers and sisters to get around. I was so happy and grateful the whole time just to be fit enough to be on the tour and in Her presence. Last year, I was feeling a little sorry for myself because Amma was about to leave for an Indian tour. Earlier that day I read about how She used to wash the devotees faces in the river if the group stopped near one, but sometimes this required traipsing across fields and hopping fences. I was sad to imagine that I would never be able to receive this particular blessing. Later that day I went for my final darshan before Mother left the Ashram. On my way into Her arms I was on my hands scooting forward and I knocked another devotees head just as they were popping up for their darshan. For no clear reason this set off a crying fit. Partly I felt that I had hurt another in what may very well be the most profound experience of their life. Also it triggered some emotion about Mother’s impending physical departure. Amma showed awareness of what had happened, and She used the opportunity to scold the pullers and to wash my face with loads of water, pretending that it was because She thought my forehead was hurt. Amma has showed me time and again that She will meet me where I am at, if I only reach for Her. Amma’s really pounded this one home for me. The very first time I reached for Her as She was walking by She kissed my hand. Another beautiful experience of this was when Amma had just returned to Amritapuri from nearly two months away. My partner and I had come to Amritapuri for six months without knowing that shortly after we arrived Amma would be leaving for Europe tour and the other stops, and would not physically be in the ashram. I was really longing for Her when She returned, but on the first public darshan day the westerners were supposed to wait until the early evening. At the time that we were asked to come, we went to the front of the temple. I was in my wheelchair. The temple doors were closed. My partner decided to go up the spiral stairs, but I felt immediately defeated and encouraged him to go without me. I felt that if I tried the stairs and was unable to get in, I would be too physically spent for another attempt. Really, the closed doors triggered immense anxiety about my situation. I rushed back to the flat and sobbed in front of the altar, “Amma, this disability can keep me from anything and I don’t mind, but please don’t let it keep me from You!” After a few minutes of tears, I remembered the saying that if we take a step towards God, God will take a thousand steps toward us. I realized that I wasn’t doing my part if I just sat where I was waiting for a miracle. I had to make myself available for Her Grace to meet me. Whether it did or not, I at least had to take my step. I quickly wrote three options on three separate papers: Temple Door, Spiral Staircase, and Balcony. If I got Balcony, I would sit and watch Amma, but not go for darshan. I tossed them at the altar and the spiral staircase was closest to Amma’s picture. Overriding self-consciousness about my tearful appearance, I immediately left the flat. In the elevator, I asked one of our sisters if the temple doors were ever opened after they were closed. She said, “Oh yeah. About every half hour, but if you’re trying to get into the temple I know a better way.” This was pregnant with spiritual lessons: the great obstacle was totally self-created, and Amma had a better way that I wasn’t even aware of. She showed me the side stair which I began to climb. At each gate I was waved through. ‘Come, come,’ the gatekeepers waved me through and past all the queues as if Mother Herself had told them to let me pass before I even got there. From the moment I left the place where I had called out for Her until I was enfolded in Her arms, I did not stop moving. It was a phenomenal experience to have all obstructions simply disappear. As I came out of the embrace, I realized that my partner was in Her arms too. I had arrived at the exact moment when he was receiving his darshan. Later, he told me that during that embrace he had given Mother a letter offering any merit that he may have toward my healing and the healing of three disabled ashramites. I went on this most recent South India tour because Mother answered a devotees question just before the call for sign-up, and in that answer She said that if we have the option of being in a Mahatmas physical presence we should seize the opportunity with both hands. She said that this opportunity isn’t always going to be available to us and that these moments are going to be the things that we cherish for the rest of our lives. I certainly agree, so Mother’s words (and later Her enthusiastic approval) gave me the courage to attempt the tour. One primary experience I had on this tour and in Mother’s presence is that suffering is optional. If my mind identifies with pain I can find myself unable to take even one step, but if I focus my whole attention on Amma, the pain may be there but I am quite happy and able to carry on. My brother once said, “You can be in pain at home or you can be in pain in Satsang. Either way the experience is there. Why not be in Satsang?” And Mother is always carrying me along. I know this for certain because during my first darshan three things happened. One is that when I was in Her arms she transmitted the message “I know your experience intimately. I am walking with you”. I hadn’t met a Master before and I had no idea what to expect. An almost verbal transmission that penetrated my very center was a surprise, although I had recognized that She was pure unconditional love flowing through the vehicle of a human body and that there was no individual left. The second thing that happened is that Amma asked “How long?” as if in regard to my injury and why I was in a wheelchair. Nevertheless, when She uttered those words I suddenly felt the urgency of the situation. As in, ‘if you want to be whole, the time is now. The train is in the station. What are you waiting for?’ And finally, I was in my wheelchair and I was taking in the situation and trying to visualize how the darshan would work from a chair. I imagined that I would lean way out to the right and into her arms. When I got to Amma she quickly and fully came out of Her chair and embraced me. I don’t even think I leaned a little. Perhaps more than all of the rest, this is how Amma showed me Her mastery. Amma, Beloved, thank you and deepest thanks for this precious opportunity of a human body with which to resolve a karmic debt and to learn to cherish others more than myself, as You do. Thank You for every moment I have beholding Your perfected form, serving You, and being near Your infinitely adorable feet. May the people receive the boon of pure love for You. Jai Amma!

Sita Ram

Misha — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 14:02:41 GMT

Jai MA Kali Ma Jai Mata Amritanandamayi Devi 12 January 2008 Hello sweeties. A quick note this time as I have tasks waiting for attention… It’s a beautiful day. Sun is beginning to set and Mother is still embracing the world. We have had an oracle card deck based on the Ramayana for years now. It’s based on an ancient oracle and each card corresponds to a few verses from the Ramayana, the story of Rama, Sita, Hanuman, etc. It’s an amazing story. My girlfriend and I are doing a study on what’s going on with Sita and Her return to Her Mother in the end of the epic. Anyway, this deck has been getting a lot of action around the ashram, and folks have been awed at the reflections/insights. It’s called The Oracle of Rama if anyone is interested. Mother recently blessed me or gave Her approval of my request to join Her and the crew for the annual tour of South India. My lovely Ma helped with funding. Ty! So, that starts in a few days. Looks like Mahesh will be staying here to continue with his editing and transliteration of Swamini Atmaprana’s book. She is sweet and humble and calls it “our book.” She is always receptive to editing suggestions. She shows that everything is Prasad (gift/blessing from God) and is not surprised by life. I've seem her display perfect equanimity around remarkable synchronicity--as in 'of course Mother meets all of my needs, that is her nature'...so familiar with no reaction. Mother says we should grow to be like that—understanding the nature of Samsara (the Ocean of Transmigration) so that our minds will remain free even while our hearts and hands work to serve the world. What else… Just got to sing for Mother again. Mahesh and I are growing. He is love. We're unfolding and it is my privilege to extend my healing heart space to him and offer him a little bit of what I have wanted to all along…an unconditional space of love. The relationship is evolving, refining, and I am reminded that She is that which I want to bind myself to (the Unbound), all the while serving Her through all Her many avenues. And he is a really good one. Thank you, Ma, for giving me the chance to BE in LOVE with YOU. I’m going to go. but I just want to say one more thing. When I received my first darshan I was open to Amma, because I recognized that She was pure Love and there was no personality left. But, I had no idea what to expect. Just after She embraced me, She asked “How long?” in regard to my SCI. But, without a doubt, through Her question I received a transmission of the urgency of the situation. I felt that I needed to get on it immediately if I really wanted to “heal”. That same message is coming again now. In Her last satsang, She answered a question about what is meant by the teaching that we should be attached to the Master’s presence. She said that these are the moments that we are going to treasure for the rest of our lives and that it is not going to be available forever, so if we are sitting on the fence about being in the physical presence of a Mahatma or not, we should seize the opportunity with both hands. Jai AMMA. AUM TAT SAT

Amritapuri No. 7

Misha — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 03:14:19 GMT

Aum Sat Guru Dev Ki Jai Aum Amritesvaryai Namaha Beloved Wonders, All well? News? Reflections? You’re loved, in my heart, adored! Ma is truly beyond aversion and attachment. I’m a “roller”, rolling little hard candies in vibhuti (sacred ash) to hand to the Prasad-givers (who then hands it to Amma who then hands it to the people after their darshan.) After my shift today, She opened a place for me right behind Her seat and I was able to stay for an hour and a half or so. Just a beautiful thing that She embraces the world without judging it. Her beautiful eyes are so full of love, looking on love with more love. Even when She shows the bhava of this or that, most of us never really question or cease feeling that unbroken prema bhakti or supreme devotion with which She enfolds us. If we run away because the pain that surfaces is too great, its only to come back again one day or another. All roads lead there. I briefly imagined what it might be like to be serving Amma among kind people with basic social skills and loving vibes. Then I thought I would probably be living a lie or living in some little bubble where everything was great. The fact is that it’s a mess and it requires continual practice to have equanimity, patience, and compassion—like Amma Herself demonstrates ceaselessly. I remember some quote like ‘there are no friends and no enemies on the path we’ve chosen; only teachers.’ And ‘if you see a worthy man, endeavor to emulate him. If you see an unworthy man, examine your inner self.’ One devotee shared a perspective that in the myths the treasure is most intensely guarded the closer the hero gets. Mahesvara isn't into analogies of war, but it’s a (sometimes literal) battleground. No delusions of peace here. The peace here is the practical kind that is achieved with great effort—peace continually tested. Fya, fya, fya! Which reminds me of another little Ma story that may have been posted on the website around New Year ‘07. Some devotees were gazing at Amma with adoration and they said “We love you Amma!” She looked at them and replied “We’ll see. Amma will test.” Anyway, just a few things: Last week, the thought arose that i had never connected with a hatha yoga style that felt like a fit. Later that day there’s a knock knock knock and a South African lady, Radha, pops her head in and asks if I’d like to practice a kind of restorative yoga therapy with her. My friend who also uses a wheelchair was the link. He went for pranayama guidance. So, yeah. It was right on point, on all levels. She’s from Sivananda lineage and broke her back three years ago falling off a balcony. She started an organization called Brave in Cape Town, which is for folks who have gone through trauma. It was so deep. Yoga is the yoking or union of jiva to atman, individual to supreme Self. She said yoga isn’t something we do—we’re either in yoga or we’re out of yoga. She taught about the sounds linked with the main chakras and asked me to try to listen to my favorite song in color and taught about sound and the body and playing our instrument…the breath and the asana or seat of god/goddess… Then, there was a desire to sing bhajans to Amma with one of the groups around here. It seemed like a good sadhana for an active mind. I asked two friends at lunch who were sitting at my table. They said “We’re singing. Come practice.” So, yesterday we practiced for hours singing beautiful new English bhajans and today we sang for Amma as She gave darshan! I was blessed to sing for MA Herself within a week’s time. Aum bhakta lokakhila bhista purana prinanecchave namah! (Prostrations to Mother, who is keen to please the world of devotees by fulfilling all their desires.) The sun is setting brilliant hot pink right now over the Sea with Viking-looking boats passing over the waters far out there. It’s beautiful. There He goes to you my beloved teachers and kin. May Father Sun bring the warmth of pure love to you. May you find all of your dreams come true, especially if they are the harmless dreams and the desires which will benefit other beings. But even if they are superficial, may they reveal the wonder of the devotion with which we are beheld. Salutaions to the Satguru…to the Rishis and Mahatmas who have made this all possible. Thank you and prostrations. I desire that each step I take will be in the energy of gratitude and humility, in You, as You, with You, of You. May all beings awaken and cease to suffer. May dharma be restored. And Happy Birthday to my brother, Ben. Love you always and extra intentions toward you tonight. Thanks to Ma for the blessing of the sweetest hearted folk. Aum Sat Guru Ki Jai!!!

Amritapuri No. 6

Misha — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 03:11:07 GMT

Mata Rani Ki…Jai! Hello fam. What doing? Mmm… it’s been good to hear from some of you. Here we are in 2008. Numerology is One. Let’s! Amma came out last night for the New Year’s program. I just caught Her Satsang and the end of the entertainment, which included a beautiful dance by about a dozen Indian women…maybe a Ganapati dance—but really so beautiful. Then there was a group of maybe seven tribal women drumming on large standing drums with sticks and singing, and a young French man fire dancing. Mother shed tears speaking about a family that had come for Her darshan that day who had essentially lost everything and were in a hopeless condition. The father was a rickshaw driver until a stroke rendered him incapable of caring for his family. His wife tried to find work but something made that impossible, too. The man was in debt and had to borrow money just to come to the ashram to see Amma. He tried to open his mouth to speak, when he was in Her arms, but could only cry. She also spoke about how children are losing their innocence around eight or nine years old and younger all the time. She spoke of terrorism and selfishness. Probably the whole Satsang will be posted on Amritapuri.org soon. The highlight was when Mother led the Punjabi bhajan Mata Rani Ne Krpa Basayi. She just started this bhajan last year and I’ve missed it somehow. I managed to get close to Her and joined the thousands in a mosh pit scene as we shouted our prayers of victory for the MaPaSource of us all (if you choose to look at your spirit in that way). Throughout the song Amma shouts “MATA RANI KI” and we all shout “JAI!” with both arms high overhead and pointer fingers up to the heights. I think this is a common Punjabi move, but I don’t know. It was joyful, to say the least. The Empress of the Universe has showered Her grace; all my wishes have come true. The Divine Mother heard my prayers; all my wishes have come true. She has cleared all my paths; desires that were blocked have been fulfilled. My Mother, my Mother has come to take my sorrows away. All my wishes have come true. The Empress of the Universe herself has come running. She has poured all happiness into my pouch. My Mother, my Mother heard my prayers. All my wishes have come true. Today my Mother has come to my house. I have taken a dip in the ocean of happiness. My Giver, my Giver heard my prayers. All my wishes have come true. Some quotes passing through this mind right now: “the Beloved is all, the lover just a veil” rumi “when you’ve come to the edge of all that you know, faith is knowing that you’ll be given solid ground to stand on, or you’ll be given wings to fly” “gratitude is the sign of a believer” “the Matrix can never tell you who you are” (you know those films are based on Vedanta…) Other than that, there have been two exceptionally deep and potent healing experiences for me this week. Prostrations to the wish-fulfilling gem! Thank you. Words are small, but I pray these experiences will be openings and tools toward a deep awakening of You. We got to be a part of a beautiful little ceremony for Devananda, our Japanese elder brother who left the body this fall. He was a healer, sending radiance healing or distance healing to hundreds (thousands?) of people twice a day, five days a week, and contact sessions as well. Aside from healing bodies he contributed to some profound meditations for many of us. Amma blessed the ashes and his lovely wife carried them down to the sea as we chanted, and offered them to the incoming wave. Such a short life… Such a precious opportunity. May we all become like Devananda in our willingness to serve and the choice to “be peace” in this world—as he once said. We have this choice today, but it will not always be so. May the Paramatman be our guiding light. Lokah Samastah Sukino Bhavantu! Awe, gratitude, and perfecting love, Your Daughter

Amritapuri No. 5

Misha — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 15:25:42 GMT

Man Re O mind, learn to become the Lord’s own. With the water of the Ganges river that emanates from your eyes, ever wash the feet of the Lord. Out of the objects of desire that you have experienced, not one has been of any lasting value to you. Whoever you considered as your beloved, that person has caused you pain. Accumulating material possessions for enjoyment, you have wasted your life. Now learn to lose all, O mind. Desires have now become a burden to you; they create situations of grief. Why do you cry now that you are enslaved? It is you who created your own enslavement. Until you stop planting the seeds of future problems with your current selfish actions, how will you attain the ultimate state of freedom, O mind? All actions in this world are done by the Lord. In all work it is He alone who creates and destroys. Time and space belong to Him. When such knowledge is gained, then in every second of this life we will have awareness of the Truth. Where is sleep or wakefulness in that state, O mind? ------ When Amma was away, I sat for bhajans in the temple. A little girl, about ten years old, led this song. This is the English translation. It was stunning. Her voice was pure and clear, from a deep place, and caused my body chills. We face Kali, so there is no singing for the praise of people. In this way, I often find the music extremely beautiful and having a totally different effect. May the children learn how to use their bodies to dance and their voices to sing, unashamed. The Indian children have this. Everyone dances. Everyone sings. Not always beautifully—but real and free and shameless.

Amritapuri No. 4

Misha — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 15:23:25 GMT

Excerpt from Aphrodite’s Daughters: To the ancient Greeks, Aphrodite embodies the ultimate, unobtainable object of desire. They had a special name for the insatiable love-longing Aphrodite inspired in them: pothos. Phychologist James Hillman defines pothos as a yearning for that which cannot be possessed. He expains: Pothos would refer to the spiritual component of love or the erotic component of spirit. When pothos is presented on a vase paining…as drawing Aphrodite’s chariot, we see that pothos is the motive force that drives desire ever onward, as the portion of love that is never satisfied by actual loving and actual possession of the object. Pothos is that sacred love sickness that gnaws at our insides, bruises our hearts, and sticks like a thorn in the flesh of the soul. But when pothos is misunderstood, as it often is in our spiritually bereft society, we fall into addictions in our desperate attempts to fill a hole that cannot be filled except through the inflow of spiritual grace. When we lack the strength to feel our hunger for love all the way to its white-hot core, we grasp at quick, short-term fixes—fast food to fill the belly, soap operas and Hollywood movies to keep the mind entertained, casual sex for an illusion of love, alcohol to numb our despair, drugs for fake ecstasy. The concept of a love-longing that is meant not to be satiated but to be experienced is difficult for our goal-oriented, control-loving Western minds to accept. In E. M. Forster’s novel A Passage to India, an Indian man sings a love song in which his (feminine) soul expresses her longing for the divine lover, Krishna. But, as the singer explains to his English friend Mrs. Moore, Krishna does not come. Mrs. Moore is disturbed: “But he comes in some other song, I hope,” said Mrs. Moore gently. “Oh, no, he refuses to come,” Repeated Godbole, perhaps not understanding her question. “I say to him, come, come, come, come, come, come. He neglects to come.” In this passage, Forster brilliantly captures one of the core differences between the Indian and the modern Western mind. Mrs. Moore thinks of desire as a question which calls for an answer. Desire, she assumes, is meant to be satisfied. Unfulfilled desire strikes her as tragic, and the idea of valuing desire as something complete in itself is alien to her. Thus, she fails to understand that Godbole’s song celebrates the intensity of longing itself. The singer becomes one with his longing, his entire being suffused with passionate desire for the Beloved. Krishna does not come, because it is the very intensity of the singer’s yearning that is meaningful. One of my other favorite Amma-bhajans, which Amma sings with such exquisite longing, is similar, but in Her song Krishna comes. Its called Kannimaykate and translates like this: Radha awaited the arrival of Krishna in the forest. She would not close her eyes even for a moment. Her mind dwelled incessantly on the smallest movements of Krishna’s feet. Radha’s eyes, resembling stars, began to wilt like flowers. A sorrowful silence descended like a heavy stone. As Radha began to suspect that Krishna might not come she suffered as if her feet had been dipped in a sea of fire. Far away a shadow moved as if someone was coming. Radha quickly rose up in her eagerness. As she stared into the distance her breathing became constricted and her eyes, resembling peacock feathers, became still. Her soft body became stiff. As she heard the soft sound of foot bangles she danced in bliss like a flower moving in a breeze. She heard a sound, “O Radha, come closer,” which flowed as if from the source of a river of nectar.

Amritapuri No. 3

Misha — Tue, 25 Dec 2007 10:27:16 GMT

Jai Ma Blessed lovers, wow wow wow. Hope you are happy out there and enjoying that cold weather! We are doing really well. Well, Mahesh is happy and content as usual. My heart is overflowing with joy to be here and to be in the midst of the life marveling at the beauty—but also calm inside. Amma arrived back this morning so the ashram is loaded with people again. She announced that we will celebrate Christmas tonight. That means a long night of partying: songs, plays, satsang, dancing, and Christmas cake Prasad. We had a nice few days with Marya, our sis from Elp, who showed up here in the midst of her Asian travels. Good to see you, lady… I want to try to share with you all something about this community that is very precious. There is a richness to life that I experience here that I feel is partially due to the regularity of daily activities. The entire ashram runs on a schedule that never wavers. Through these routines, subtleties are experienced that are so overlooked in a life of dramatic changing and over-stimulation. Meals are served regularly three times a day, at the same time, without fail. Archana (the chanting of the Names of God—or in the case of Amritapuri—the Goddess) is chanted every morning from 4:50 to 6, for 30+ years. For those who may not know, the Names are the aspects of the One. It’s a way of visualizing and touching That that we are & making the mind one-pointed. The Names are loaded with bij syllables, Sanskrit vibrational frequencies which are told to have sprung from the minds of the rishis (primordial seers) and charged with the collective intentions of countless beings. Ma! It’s a tantric practice. I really love the Names. Perhaps I’ll be able continue my study of them. If I remember correctly they are often paired in paradoxical ways—like, “Salutations to She who is predictable” followed by “Salutations to She whose path is eternally undefined” Something like that. It feels like it is an apt reflection of the totality of Uni-verse. Many (mostly Indian) women know the entire Lalita Sahasranama by heart. We sit facing the only ashram murti (idol), Kali Ma, in the darkness and solitude of pre-dawn. The Murti was made years ago at the request of Amma by the same folks who made the famous Kali Murti that Ramakrishna communed with. Bhajans every evening at sunset for 1½ hr.-2hrs. Ma says that the influence of the atmosphere is not very auspicious at this time so we sing through it. All these routines refine a mind's sensitivity to things. It is in this that I rejoice. I am feeling the passage of time and the opportunity of every moment to generate merit and be a part of something big and beautiful. All of the residents here are initiating or working on projects that will benefit others. More action than talk, thank god. The sensitivity to the deterioration of Mother Nature turns into treeplanting, organic farming, natural medicine clinics, etc. Artists find themselves creating projects that will be used all over the world with the money going directly to medicine, food, and shelter for those in need. Our own needs—or rather—desires, become less and less important. She is a great soul indeed. Aum Sri Gurubyo Namaha Hari Aum Beloved Amma, through what is called my "heart" a steady river of love flows out toward You. Please, Devi, may I be present in You, that this devotional easy love will flow towards all beings—as You are. Thank you. May we know and directly perceive that You are the substratum through which all of our thoughts, actions, and words pass. May we behold You as You truly are, to better love You and finally experience the joy of the truth. May my every act of lying down be a lying down at your infinitely adorable feet. Thank you for the ineffably precious blessing of sitting by your feet this evening. Amma, you say that the unfolding is part effort and part grace, but I know that it is all grace. The effort itself is grace, however challenging it is, grace that makes the oppourtunity and the way and may I always remember to be deeply grateful for all that You have given me. And to remember the joy of selflessness. May all beings understand that you are Satchitananda, and by knowing You are, they will know that they are! It is! It is! I love you, Amma. When you test my love may I be willing to bow and serve. I offer this to you believing that through the act of offering that which is unfit, one day there will be a pure offering and I will know myself as You! Jai Mata Amritanandamayi Devi! Jai Kali MA. Hello and merry xmas. You are all in my heart/mind and I love to love you. Thanks for being a part of this journey and for all that you have done and been in this world. So many of you have been such a huge blessing in my life that I have no words and am filled with something even more that gratitude. Thank you. Well, it is now Christmas day here. Y'all are sleeping and Shanti Claus is hopefully showering you with presence and filling your stockings with treats as I write this. Hope you all are well and I’d like to hear from anyone who feels inclined. Otherwise this is just a monologue and that’s not so attractive for me... So, one more evening to write about. Last night was the xmas program and what an amazing precious night for mish. I was sitting at Amma's feet for hours. I wouldn't have rather been any other place in all the world. She had children around her and was playful with them. They played a new video where Sharon Stone presented some award to Her and Then Amma gave some suggestions for people such as looking after nature, etc. I could tell it was a good satsang but didn't hear much of it. I found that so many prayers were spiraling out just sitting there in Her presence. There are a lot of people here—what a nice thing to be so close. I felt the attunement. I felt attracted to Her humanity: taking eyedrops occasionally and making faces at the kids. There's a new book by Swami Ramakrishna called Eye of Wisdom about the way that Amma sees the world. I just remembered another passage where someone was asking Amma about all the trouble in the world and Amma replied "What world?" For Her there is only Her Beloved, pure consciousness. Her vision is so expansive, just to sit by her and be a little open, one can't help but feel their own mind and vision expanding. Really, we are no different than Her, of course. Not essentially. She's just holding the reigns of mind. On Her walk out of the hall, She stopped in front of Maheshvara and me and asked if we were Ok and If I got my cake. I got my cake (Mahesh had gone through and gotten it for me) and it had two toppings instead of one. She stood with us there for a minute and so i reached for Her three times and She reached back each time. So it was an awesome evening of prasad. Jai Ma! Love all P.S. I’m also reading this book Aphrodite's Daughters about women's sexual stories and the journey of the soul (thanx Jess!). Some of my friends have greatly benefited from it.

Amritapuri No. 2

Misha — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 15:45:31 GMT

Wednesday, 19th December Blessings. Out the open windows I see a great deal of the Arabian Sea (I’m on the 13th floor), palm trees covering every bit of ground all the way to the shore, and cotton candy pink Amritapuri buildings rising up out of all that green. I hear the sound of someone sweeping in the hall, brahmacharinis beating their laundry, a loudspeaker blasting some chanting from somewhere in the village, and endless crows cawing. I’ve been weighing, packing, and labeling herbs for the Ayurvedic clinic. Soon I’ll get out some colored pencils and attempt to draw a few mandalas, as a sevite is making Amma affirmation cards and asked me to do this. My friend and Ayurvedic/Naturopathic doc came by before lunch and read my pulses and told me about the condition of all of my organs, and recommending a lot of herbs, oils, and other therapies. Curry and sambar on white rice for lunch – eaten in the “big hall” which is a giant covered structure open on the sides. I played with a beautiful little baby boy named Govinda at lunch, and sat with our friends that run the Eco Department here. One of the women is from Venezuela and the other Greece. I miss Amma and am feeling Her physical absence. When She is here I can go down and watch her for awhile in the day while working on the malas—and at dusk we sit among thousands in the big hall belting out our devotion or observing Mother belt out Hers. XOXO!

Amritapuri No. 1

Misha — Sun, 16 Dec 2007 10:08:14 GMT

Aum Amritesvaryai Namah! Hi All, as most of you already know we made it to the ashram a few days ago after a nice 45hr train ride from Mumbai. It wouldn’t have taken that long, but the train stopped at all the stations. The ride was fairly pleasant as we rode in second class AC sleeper and got to sit next to the window with a little table which I utilized to work on malas. Train food: ugg. Saw a lot more of the country. I’m always surprised by how much uninhabited (by people) land there actually is in the world. We saw mountains finally! In Kerala there’s nothing but flat, lush land covered in palms. We saw rocks similar to Josh. Since arriving my spirit has rejoiced. Every breath of diesel fumes, burning plastic, urine… the smell of India… and my heart sings Home! Home! Home! Now we are really in the heart of it: Amritapuri!! Impossible to truly capture the vibe: high, otherworldly, almost tangible it is so thick. Amma was here when we arrived, but She left last night for a ten day Kerala tour. (Mahesh isn’t interested in traveling or tours, so I’m hoping to find a travel companion at some point. I want to be with Ma and also pilgrimage to a few places.) So! Yesterday Amma came out to the temple to give a very short darshan to any who had just arrived or were leaving that day. She emphasized that no one should ask questions because She still had to prepare for the tour. Mahesh and I had a desire to ask Ma about something that was on our hearts, but we would have to wait. Mother came to us anyway. It was one of the best darshans in ways that are more subtle than... ahh.. All in all it was simply amazing. I feel so deeply blessed that we have been around enough now that Amma would stop the darshan to address our need for Her guidance. So many times I have longed for Her to reach out like that. And yet, now I feel grounded about the whole thing in ways that may have had a different effect a few years ago. It was a simple conversation in the arms of our very human, very divine AMMA. Although, I did wander around a bit afterward, getting off the lift on the wrong floor, etc. DD: darshan daze! Now we deepen into it all and take on the huge seva load little by little with all our sisters and brothers. May all beings know the unique beauty of the Guru-disciple relationship. May this same spirit of service to our beloved spill out of our enlightened mind/heart to all beings we encounter (especially those closest to us!). May we remember that we are here NOW and we have some loving to do! Blessed love! Kisses and sweet comfort wrapping around each of you from your sis and brother! PS. A translation of one of my favorite names from the Sri Lalita Sahasranama: Prostrations to She who’s eyes swim about like fish in the sea of love that flows from Her face. JAI AMMA om sri gurubyo namah

For the Curious

Misha — Thu, 09 Nov 2006 07:25:32 GMT

I believe this is a "spiritual" journey for every manifest creature, in that we are in Spirit and energy is transforming, evolving, even if it be for the zillionth time in an ongoing universal cycle of birth, preservation, and destruction. Losing the ability to walk without some way to balance (i.e. crutches, walls, friends) shifted everything. In all the important things, for the better. Learning a kind of humility that reaches way down to the core (Amma says we can't even lift a finger without grace), relying on the boundless compassion of the universe in a way that is undeniable, tasting the incredible strength of the spirit... Just before the branch broke on the tree I had made a deep plea to be woken up. I was making self-destructive choices despite experiences and communion with that deathless love that I call MA. Then I fell. Being unable to do any thing independently (roll over, eat, walk...) there was nothing to do but let go. Then Grace took over. I wept at the ineffable experience of the play of God that I was no longer separate from. Most people believed i was sad. As moment leads to moment mind vacillates between expansion and contraction...Sometimes I long to run and climb, but I know this loss brought me far closer to the truth of who I am and for that I will offer prostrations until the final disillusionment. There is bliss in the world of being, and the world of becoming pales in that light. I am here to let go. Let me be that I am. May we look to our self. May we be our Self. May dharma be restored on Earth. Jai Ma Kali Ma!