Contemplations

A New Game

Jason — Tue, 07 Aug 2007 18:48:24 GMT

Most people are battling bad things, shooing them away as if it is their duty. I was listening to a recording of Alan Watts , a popular taoist scholar talking on this subject, hence my inspiration to type this. He was talking about opposites, yang and yin, good and bad, front and back, black and white. Everything in the world is composed of opposites, matter and space, existence and non-existence, which is why modern physicists know that everything and anything in nature, a flower for instance, can be calculated into a formula of simple 1's and 0's. So, you can not have black with out white or white without black. Black and white are as different as different can be, right? Yet these two opposites are completely interdependent. This is just like any subject in life. "But," one might say, "Life isn't just black and white;there are many shades of gray." Perhaps this is true, but isn't light gray the opposite of dark gray? And if you put a light gray mark on a very black background, it will appear white. So what's the point of all this? Everyone wants good and therefore makes every failing effort to abolish all that is "bad" in life. But one can not have good without bad. You can not have a one sided mountain, imagine it. There will always be a lit side and a shaded side...because if both sides are lit you may as well be blind, just as if both sides were shaded, all would be dark which would be tantamount to being blind. You would not be able to sense anything at all if everything were the same. After all, what is sensation but an awareness of contrast? You become happy because you were once sad. If you are sorrowful now it is because you were once filled with joy. So this idea, or fact if you will, applied to everything in life can and probably will cause a feeling of "Does anything even matter then?" The reason for that feeling is this: our favorite human game is now realized and seems useless. The game that's object is to fight away bad things in hope that we can make a world that is all good. Inevitably Life will happen and this game we play will be played--the war on drugs, crime, obesity, etc....one's desire to own a new lexus, to cast out them demons. That lexus which you view as positive will bring a great deal of stress and worry apon it's owner and those demons, hate to break it to ya, are just as real as your validity in wanting a lexus. So no matter how you look at it, we're on a roller coaster ride with all the up's and down's. This game we play, politics, religion, whatever is only a game within a bigger game. Here is a new game that I've been trying to play lately. Just enjoy the ride like a child at a carnival...play the small games. Hit the cans with the baseball. Take the rollercoaster, but whatever you do, even if it makes you cry, even if it scares you....espesially if it scares you, Enjoy It. Know where you came from. Love what you have, even if that means loving your own hate for something.

Wisdom for the Performer

Jason — Tue, 13 Feb 2007 09:16:05 GMT

Use Art to get in Touch With the feelings. Art is Honest. Art is Alive. It is always new. Do not cover yourself with yourself. In otherwords, Don't cover yourself with too many abstact ideas of youself. Your false identity will either annoy or confuse your audience, Unless you are embodying a character, as an actor or clown for instance, in which case you must act that part without hesitation or difficulty. Actors are never themselves in there work. Clowns are themselves, but let themselves be exaggerated. If you're having a good time as a performer, That energy will be mirrored intensely in the hearts of you spectators, especially if they are drunk. So if the setting is right, such as a bar or festival, encourage your audience to drink. And be honest and frank, even in your reason for desiring them to drink. Oscar Wilde: "The Artist is the creator of beautiful things. To reveal art and conceal th artist is art's aim...." As a disclaimer, this advice is what I have found relevant to my own style and avenue of performance which includes juggling, magic, fire performance, ect. Either that I I only found it profound and insightful. In fact, some of this will be contradictory because some of these bits and peices are relevant to a specific type of performing. For instance, as a comedian, one will likely want their identity to bleed through into there presentation where as one dancing in a ballet or the painter of a portrait has no desire to express themself, but infact aims to "conceal the artist(themselves)" as said by Oscar Wilde. And Ofcourse, these two views can be thrown together. Also you may notice that I put "Art" and "Performance" together when really performance is a category within art. Please comment, especially if you differ.

More crazy talk :)

Jason — Thu, 25 Jan 2007 07:44:01 GMT

beyond doubt beyond bad moods beyond getting over bad moods what is there to get over? don't answer that...it is retorical. so this is what New feels like mental experimentation is fun when you're the scientist and not the subject. it's hard to make this clear to others The first step I remember is learning how to identify and face my problems Then realizing that these problems are MY thoughts, my opinions, my excuses....my responsibility. Then it seems naturally obvious that if one truely realizes this and starts applying it, that they would not have problems. But that isn't what the question was to me. I knew that...my logic told me that. there is something missing from it...I needed an experience different from a mere thought. Then I had that experience. This was the dilemma: I really *didnt* know how much control I really had over myself and my emotions. Principle: If you're problems are you, then you have total control over them. I'm annoyed and relieved at the simplcity. I realized that often when trying to apply this principle....I failed because I was attempting to apply a static rule to a moving life. It was like expecting a rock to float in the river and take course with the water! Though the principle stands strong and may ring with truth in the form of text and words, just like any great quote or speech, it is useless unless one can find a way to FEEL it from within. All great speeches and songs speak to the soul(or something of intrinsic nature) and for that reason alone they are of great value, not just because they are True. So what this means to me is that I had to somehow learn how to feel good emotions at will. I won't go further to explain a strategy because frankly, I don't know if there is a strategy for this or, if there were, if it'd be explainable in words. All I know is that it is the most liberating and beautiful feeling I've ever felt. A new high that enhances itself with a promise for a sure future.

self analyzing...

Jason — Thu, 18 Jan 2007 07:19:31 GMT

Self analizing is something I've done quite frequently for as long as I can remember. At one time it was very enlightening to me...now I can't seem to take myself seriously, not that I'm trying. It becomes a vicious circle always going back to a simple answer which I can feel but not put into thoughts. Anyway, It's turned into a sort of game I play with myself in my mind, which come to think of it; that sounds like crazy talk, don't it? I feel the distinction between the world happeing to me and me happening to the world and can't decide which is happening. Immediatly I realize, of course, both are happening simultaneously. But both...no not both, that idea seems blurred, confusing...part of my mind strives to choose one of the two. I want to catagorize EVERYTHING. That will make everything simple, right? and simple is in the "good" category. So that makes sense,right? But wait, why did I throw simplicity into that folder? Because complexity is bad? Is the world happening to me or am I happening to the world? Surely complexity AND simplicity have something to offer. Ofcourse, the most obvious thing to me that they offer are each other. What are any two opposites with out each other. What is good if you don't distinguish bad? So where does one draw the line? Why? And if good and bad create and imply eachother...if they fail to exist without eachother, then what are they when they DO exist? blah! They must be apparitions, memories...or the fog in your windshield as you drive down the road of life. Is there something I'm missing? Am I living as the spectator of a simple magic trick, oblivious to life's simple secret? The questions are endless. The mystery is endless, that is so long as I dont think I know everything, which I suppose would be terribly blissful and painful. Hmmmm. A life of extremes; bliss and pain. I haven't experienced either one in a while. How dull! Perhaps I'll seek one or the other. Wouldn't that be strange to seek emotional pain? I'm weirding myself out. Oh wait, I HAVE experienced bliss very recently, then it disappeared and there is withdrawal now. Its late. Guess I'll have to postpone these issues and figure out the secret of life tomorrow. yawn.

mind flatus

Jason — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 23:02:23 GMT

I'm not an overflowing well of intellect, not an abundant sea of useful information. My mind is moving air. Gusts of useless contemplation. Few connections made to the outside. Blocking off a great deal of reality. Deafened by my own winds. Stillness..."I don't have time" Steered by hesitation and fear. What do I want?...What don't I want? Basic, fleeting conversation. Talking often falls short for me. It seems more useless to expose useless notions that are pungent like our flatulence to thy recepticles. My listeners. But, like my bodies need to release these fumes of horror, is it neccesary to expel the farts of my gusting and never settling contemplations? Keeping these for sake of non-humialation or some other excuse is only more embarrasing and torturous. My mind is bloated. Yes, farts are funny and to release them in a serious manner often makes them more comical. To pass your gas with no restraint and no shame, to flaunt your flatus, that is, is obnoxious and tastless. This is the law...usually. Fart in front of someone you usually wouldn't....like your boss....but make sure it's "by accident" and say excuse me. Do it with a light sense of humor and confidence. Don't worry about she or he losing respect for you or anything. Happy farting... *I don't know how I got to this subject* Who ever might have endured reading this, please, excuse me.....I hope it doesn't stink.

I have no Idea

Jason — Thu, 23 Nov 2006 08:23:01 GMT

I don't know what to write about but something is to be writin. I am quite happy and yet I feel very unsure about most of the things in my life. I feel like that is probably the best state to be in because once you think that you actually have any part of your life figured out....well you may be dissappointed to find that your new found secret is already out of date. I used to want to know the answer to life's questions. I used to want to be above suffering and the drama games played between other humans. That is just usually the goal of any religion...to be above others... to win...to be good and rightoues. But lately, that goal, that ambition is fading for me. And so what happens when one stops TRYING so hard to be good and wise and moral? No, Im not trying to be a rebel. I don't desire to deliberatly make it a point to go against the grain of society, religion. I am not going to start doing stupid things BECAUSE they are a bad idea...lol. I dont know Im learning how to not take myself too seriously. Man that feels good. I laugh at my stupidity sometimes. There is a game-like aspect to life. It is possible to see life as only a play of events and cirumstances unfolding left and right...whether you expect them or not. This is like stepping outside of everything, even your own mind....and just watching, feeling, recieving. I used to want to somehow be the best...better than everyone. I was very egotistical. Surely I still carry some of that with me, but my motives are transforming now. I just want to have a good time and help others. Love is the law to follow. But really, isn't Love without laws? Love isn't a set of rules that you read from paper and follow. Love is internal. It comes from a place that you cant see or understand. Love is a drive that pushes you. "And try not to direct the course of Love for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course." Kahlil Gibran As I write this I hear my mind fearing such a responsibility. Living by those words above....sounds like alot of work. Sounds intimidating. This is discouraging. There is this feeling of impossibility. You know that feeling of "I'll always fall short"? I believe most people are used to it. Well, I won't let it get in my way. The reason for that fear and intimidation is from me thinking about how I could possibly be that way. "How could I possibly sustain being so realxed and full of Love and peace?" Listen to the musn't's child, Listen to the don't's, Listen to the shouldn't's, the impossible's, the won't's. Listen to the never-haves then listen close to me. Anything can happen, child. Anything can be. Shel Silverstein I don't believe that "reaching this goal"(for lack of better words) of letting Love be the force behind you has anything to do with planning it out. Love does not need to for-see anything. Love is flexible and yeilding like water taking the shape of whatever it is contained by. I dont know.

A little taoism

Jason — Sun, 21 May 2006 20:17:19 GMT

Most people only see the usefulness of something useful, but few realize the usefulness of something useless. Don't just do something, stand there! These words are not the truth, they are only attempting to point at it. How much more could words really do?

Microcosms of Life Everywhere

Jason — Wed, 12 Apr 2006 00:27:30 GMT

Every activity I go through can profoundly corresponde to my life as a whole, or even humanity as a whole or the universe as a whole. Tai Chi is a prime example, But I've really been thinking about bike riding. Bike riding against the wind until, ofcourse, it's time to change direction....I think of life. Then struggling up a long hill?......for every hill there is just as much slope. This I relate to the inevitable up's and downs of life and reminds me in time's of struggle OR in times of greatness that this too will pass. It helps me to not get caught in my misery nor to become too attached to better circumstances. The learning process that I experience for every single poi trick, or diablolo trick, or juggling trick or whatever can be related to life as a whole, but it can also be percieved, with the help of memory and imagination, as common with the things that go on in a child's mind when they learn something new. Since children generally learn faster than older people, this can actually help me to embody the fresh-mindedness and lack of self doubt of a child which in turn helps me learn faster. I've been fascinated with... I guess...finding universal commonalities.

Point of view, Shel Silverstein

Jason — Mon, 27 Feb 2006 15:28:47 GMT

Thanksgiving dinner's sad and thankless Christmas dinner's dark and blue When you stop and try to see it From the dinner's point of view. Sunday dinner isn't sunny Easter feasts are just bad luck When you see it from the view point of a chicken or a duck. Oh how I once loved tuna salad, Pork, lobsters, lamb chops too 'Til I stopped and looked at dinner From the dinner's point of view. Point of View Shel Silverstein This poem portrays the simplicity of my reason for not eating animals. It is certainly no complex system of beliefs, but a simple manifestation of compassion. Compassion may be defined as a recognition of another's right to be happy, which of course includes all living creatures.

pondering

Jason — Sun, 27 Nov 2005 23:03:37 GMT

Realize the mystery of life's circumstances. No matter how much you guess and assume you know, you don't. Why is this happening to me? Why did this happen? Where is the purpose? These questions will never be answered with out doubt.