Date Tue, July 11, 2006 - 3:55 AM
Subject if you have a moment

Message
Dear Captain Erotica
i need some advice. i've dated men older and younger than me. the decades keep stretching. i guess i'm at that age where young men still find me attractive and older men are happy i'm interested. i'm currently dating a man about 20 years older than me. this age thing has always weirded me out. when i date a younger man, i think i'm being immature. "robbing the cradle". when, like i am now, dating an older man, i think i must have "Daddy" issues. your thoughts? i seek healing, peace and understanding.
~~~~~

Hi *****

OK finally found some time to answer your question…

My perspective on this is as such:

The goal as stated by you is Peace- Healing and Understanding…

I feel these are easily attainable in this situation~

FIRST
some context…
It is natural to fall into archetypal modes of viewing those with whom we are in relationship.. Age is just one of the factors in the Character Attributes of lLife when dealing with someone…

As such it can be easy (and convenient) to place someone into a category, thus making it simpler to think of them in that fashion… Often our lovely subconscious does this for us,,,leading the way so that we automatically look at the person through the lenses of such and such a quality (race, class, wealth, etc)

The roles that you cast for yourself in these situations are by no means set in stone, though they do resonate with the stereotypical (sorry) associations with the character/plot scenarios that you are dealing with, ie: Daddy’s Girl Who Can’t Grow Up or CradleRobber With Aging Issues (there are many nuances but those are, I feel, the core elements in those roles that you are being challenged by)

However you may react to the Character Atributes of your partner/lover/playmate in any number of different fashions. IE Even if he IS a Daddy you need not ASSUME the role of little girl unless you consciously wish to. Rather…you can play any number of other roles energetically in the relationship.

SECOND- A reminder

Though you know this I am sure, it seems to brook reminding at this point:

You are dating a Human Being – That being has the capacity to be ANYTHING and the less you box them into some preordained way of being, the more they can AMAZE and DELIGHT you!

So practice looking at your lover not as “my older lover” but as just a being who is timeless in their ability to take on any of the archtypes of human kind.

Young people act old. Old People act young… Most of us mix it up all our lives to be honest… Even depending upon different circumstances on a given day I will act like a total little kid and then later assume the wise-elder-erotic-superhero role when dispensing some advice in a different situation…

THIRD – Free yourself from Judgment – You chose this guy for reasons other than his age I assume. I highly doubt you said “ I want to be a Daddy’s girl” and set out to find one…So allow yourself to shake off the bonds of self judgment and recognize your innately valuable choice to date this guy because you LIKE HIM and how that can be UNSTAINED by any cultural connotations that your mind might delight in teasing itself with…

FOURTH – A brief astrological perspective: The zodiac has many metaphors. One of them is the Age based metaphor whereby Aries is the first or infant phase of the soul on up through Leo the teen, Scorpio the 30something to end with Pisces the 90+yr old who is full circle to being childlike,,…

If you look at the world there are many people who do not Act Their Age. Often , I have found, through extensive studies of people, that people more correspond to their astrological age rather than their physical age. This might bear some investigating cuz you may find out you are both young souls or vice versa…

FIFTH – you are not alone! – I had two lovers two weekends ago, at the same event. One was 21 and the other was 43… I made no noticeable distinction between them in that regard… They were just two amazing women..I did not compare or even consider their ages…

We are all mixing it up right now at this point in human evolution… the more we mix the more it evolves.. so intergenerational relationships are HUGE in helping pass the data between the levels so to speak…thus by dating this guy you are furthering the full enlightenment of all beings…

SIXTH – IF you Do want to explore the Daddy’s girl thing.. I can utterly recommend that you try a role play with him and SEE and FEEL how you react to it.. you will know for sure I can say without a shadow of a doubt, weather you REALLY dig on that energy or not…

SEVENTH – talk with him about it – odds are he may be dealing with similar issues from the other side of the coin…

EIGTH – Good on you for asking and seeking healing peace and understanding…

~~Namaste~~