Terms of EndearmentSun, February 4, 2007 - 7:22 PM
Just as the artist draws upon a diverse pallet of colors, the wordsmith too has a pallet -- Words. Lots of words. Words that reflect nuance in both meaning and sound. A “rock” is similar to a “stone” but not the same. “Beautiful” is similar to “lovely” but not the same. Each word has its own particular qualities and implications. Each moves us in a particular way.
There are lovely, romantic words that stir women. Many men do not realize the untapped potential of these words -- on women and on relationships. If they did, they would practice them night and day until endearments rolled off their tongues like poetry. The right words elevate both giver and receiver, heal damaged relationships, lift us up and help us be our finest selves. A fine endearment is both Art and act of Love. It is a caress with words, titillation with praises, a tickle with the mind. It is a gift of not only the endearment itself, nor even the sculpting of it, but the very act of giving it, an act which requires a certain amount of bravado in itself. Women are moved by these things. We value them. They make us feel special and loved and sexy and desired. Endearments massage us with words. They are the foreplay that allow us to make love 24 hours a day.
There are many qualities of a good endearment: It is sincere, it paints the receiver a pretty picture of herself and it is offered with passion and love and without manipulation or expectation. If it these three qualities exist, it almost doesn’t matter what words you use. Still, when you are ready to begin sculpting truly poetic endearments, I have some suggestions.
Below, I have compiled a list of words women love but men rarely use -- words you can add to your word palette and draw upon to make someone feel special. Read over the two lists – Adjectives and Nouns. Introduce each individual word into your mind’s landscape and consider its unique and special meanings. Speak the words out loud and feel them in your mouth and on your tongue. Hear the words with your ears. Become accustomed to speaking them and hearing them come out of your mouth. Then begin to weave together these adjectives and nouns and experience the different qualities of each combination.
Vision of Lovliness
Vision of Beauty
Taste the different flavors? This is by no means an exhaustive list but a peek at just a sampling of the succulent possibilities. Ultimately, your our own palette will be personalized to you and to the woman you choose to caress with your words. Some things will fit but others won't seem right at all. Choose the ones that feel right to you, the ones that fit the woman you love. Your pallet will also include pet names and endearments you may not even realize you already use. Recognizing our existing palette and tools and adding to them along the way allows us to expand and expound upon Love in beautiful and creative ways that make our lovers feel loved and treasured. And isn't that what Love is all about?
So go out there and shower your blindingly gorgeous vision of lovliness with a few powerful phrases. It will add to the overall love in the world. And that benefits everyone.
- Carolyn Mabry
“Most of sex is psychological – it happens between our ears and not between our legs.” - Dr. Joy Browne
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*furiously taking notes*
Maybe I need to find a divine huntress with those captivating eyes and brilliant intellect ;0
|Thank you. The inherent gender differences, whether social constructs or genetic diversities, are in grained deep within our thoughts. But we each think in a language that reflects the way we view the world. Remembering these differences and having the vernacular cornucopia to communicate in another’s native tongue is the essence of giving. Thank you for reminding us of this and adding some helpful hints on what to do about it.|
Terms of mEndearmenttis a beautiful list. please know that there are men who know the power of word. even, men who choose wisely the words they speak. speak them with intention and honest breaths from their lips. men who want only to share the deep stirrings of their heart. men who strive to find words, simple words that have the ability to express the complete intensity of their emotions. as powerful as words can be, sometimes i feel they are not enough. or rather words do not exist for expression of the emotions i may be feeling. . . a quote from "Things Men Whished Women Knew" says..."Men are nourished by words of endearment just as much as women are "....
Oh I agree Pika. Most of these words came from beautiful men I know. It was the work of both men and women. I've just noticed that women seem to have more facility with words, so I decided to help my brothers and, in turn, the sisters they will massage with their words.
And I thank all you lovely men and women who helped me compile this great list. You are helping all of us.
If anyone else has a lovely endearment they'd care to share, I'd love to hear it. Just think of the resource we could co-create! Plus it's fun.
tes-ti-fy!Caroleeena, you're so amazing! I adore this post!
Shining Woman, You Inspire Awe!
Thank you for this fine post!
Love, love, love!
Each word is a storySay the word "Rock" and picture a "Rock". Say the word "Stone" and picture a "Stone". Now picture a "Gem". Words have special meanings that can be used to express oneself or exagerate. What if you said "Her heart is a rock in the universe", or "Her heart is a gem of the universe"? The first makes her sound cold or common while the second makes her sound like a goddess.
Guys, don't memorize words and throw them out there because you think she will like them. A real woman can pick out a fake, so be you, but learn to use words to really express yourself. Don't know where to start? Try writing a short poem or a story. Just do a half-page, or write a few expressive sentences and stop. When you run into an idea that you want to really express with words but don't know how, read this list and see if the right words jump out at you, or ones like them. Use a thesaurus and look up similar words. The mind is an associative engine, so a similar word will probably lead you to the right one.
Thank you for this wonderful post! Where is the rest of this series? I would be delighted to read it.
LoveYes. We can allow ourselves to genuinely love other people - to let positive, encouraging, healing energy flow freely out of us in all directions and transform the world.
|I saw a TV show, Ally McBeal, in which a woman would only allow her boyfriend to use food as a term of endearment...lamb chop, peanut butter cup...he almost never used the same food twice, and it was funny and amazing to hear these words take on new meaning when used in that context.|
I love my poet friends. These comments are brilliant. And Pete, what a poet you are!
I'm still working on the series. There are two. The other is, "Things men wish women knew." It's started but none of the pieces are fully realized yet. I'll share them when they are. In fact, I'll probably be hitting ya'll up for advice.
Love the food names. I'm from the South and everyone I know is "Dumpling".
What else do men need to know?I would love to read more of this topic from your brilliance, C! I cannot tell you how much I love to hear a guy I love simply say my name when he is talking to me.
|Oh Samantha, I agree...the sound of my name coming from a voice I love, can send waves of sensation through my veins… Include "My" + one of the beautiful words from Caroleeena's list + "my name"....and I'm a happy girl...yumm-mmy.|
beautiful writing c! we use a lot of food names in our home, mostly fruit and sweets. my partner's name for me is 'peaches' and i smile when i hear it. even when i got upset the other day, i used a fruit name, a grapefruit b/c i thought he was being sour and leaving a bitter taste in my mouth....
upon reading your post some verbs started rolling through my mind...
smell, taste, gaze, hear, feel
attract, light up, glow, radiate, desire, overwhelm, delight
snuggle, cuddle, tickle, fondle, massage
inspire, admire, adore, worship
stimulate my mind, delight my body and satisfy my soul
enliven, ravish, intoxicate
tangle, intertwine, unite, melt
comfort, care, soothe, move, endear...
words are so evocative and provocative...
also one of my favorite mediums for creating magic...
|This post has turned out to be so much fun. I love all the feedback. Thanks again my poet friends.|
*Swoon*Talk about potently romantic words! They make my heart tingle! Here are some more fun words I thought of for the master list:
Delicious, Foxy, Ambrosial, Incomparable, Sublime, Beloved, Angelic, Melodic, Lyrical, Addictive, Lush, Rare, Mouth-watering, Ingenious, Glorious
My Sweetness, Honeypot, Sex Kitten, Sugarplum, Turtledove, Perfection, Pixie, Buttercup, Doll, Butterfly, Cupcake
AdverbsA side note: most if not all of the adjectives can be used as adverbs modifying "beautiful" - e.g. ravishingly beautiful, lusciously beautiful, serenely beautiful. Just plain "beautiful" can be nice, but the adverbs spice it up.
wordsWORDS are so important. Like a double edge sword. You can make or break with them. My friend Don Miguel Ruiz wrote a book you may have heard about called the Four Agreements. The agreements go as followed (1) Be Impeccable with your Word (2) Don't take anything Personally (3) Don't make Assumptions (4) Always do your Best
"Thank You" is another that doesn't get used enough.
I agree!In fact, I wish more people spoke the words, "My pleasure". Sometimes I hear people say, "Not a problem" or "No big deal" and those things feel like thanks grudgingly given to me. I'd rather be "Happy To!" And then there is the compliment, "Not bad" or it's sister derivation, "Not too bad...", which is somehow less directly insulting somehow... To me they both sound suspiciously like, "Hmmmmm, doesn't suck." I prefer bold enthusiasm and creative encouragement like, "Fabulous, stunning, remarkable!"
I am that foolwho hears a soundless voice
that speaks WORDLESSLY
in my mind heart and sends me spinning
in the world of metaphor to find a comparison
that evokes the depth of a priceless but limitless understanding
Fabulous Treasures!words matter – you can fall in love
with a turn of phrase the same way you fall in love
with an eyelash flutter or one black freckle on a forehead.
Luscious word lists and post. Thank you.