My Blog

Yay, Spring

Catling — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 13:43:39 GMT

It's been a totally bipolar week. Basically, the days have been fabulous, the nights, not so much. Miss K is teething ferociously and had a couple of nights in a row where neither of us got sleep because she was so miserable. Poor kid. Last night we both finally got more sleep, I crashed out on the couch for a few hours after she had gone to bed, and then when I went up, she was a sleepy bunny and nursed back to sleep very quickly, then slept pretty well the rest of the night, just waking up to nurse. Thank goodness. The days have been spent in joyfully enjoying the Spring, walking about to see what is growing, enjoying the sunshine and warm breezes, alone and with loved ones. I have been doing a lot of energy healing, and it feels really, really good. It's such an amazing feeling to open myself to so much light and share it, and see immediate positive effects for the people I work with. Looking into volunteer shifts at Boston area hospices. I realized that now that I have reliable babycare for K when I need breaks, I can start picking up a few shifts to start getting my feet wet with this. I'm excited. As much as I enjoy being a stay at home mommy, watching her grow, I am also eager to begin moving on this new career. My recent life has been all about gracefully balancing my life as a mother with my other interests. It seems to be working out, teething unhappiness notwithstanding. There is blossoming within and without, there are deepening connections and affection between me and others, creative projects that are really taking off. I'm very happy with how my life is going. Yay Spring. As your eyes pass over this, I hope that you are experiencing beautiful growth and flowering yourselves as we all are renewed by the endless spirals of the seasons. Much love to you all.

No. Please... no.

Catling — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 22:07:06 GMT

Yes, I know, I'm bitching about Spam again. But I really don't need to see penis enlargement Spam from Elmo or my dead friend, Eric Schneider, OK? Spammers what Spam... you have now gone beyond all limits of good taste. Which is astonishing because I really thought you STARTED there, but God... when my Spam starts me to wondering about Elmo's sex life or wondering if Eric is now the patron angel of Erectile Dysfunction, helping men get it up everywhere... and somewhere Eric is surely laughing. But honestly, this is not how I want to think of him! And Elmo... OK... if Elmo has a penis and takes pills to make it bigger, I DO NOT WANNA KNOW. OK? PLEASE? Is nothing sacred? I feel completely violated. My brain, oh, it hurts... I don't think bleach and steel wool are gonna work this time... ooohhhh, my brain, my brain, OW.

COS persecution

Catling — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 23:32:17 GMT

This is bullshit: http://glosslip.com/2008/03/27/member-of-anonymous-in-boston-being-fair-gamed-by-scientology/ Please to be spreading far and wide. Let see if the blogosphere/MySpace/etc. can make enough noise that we can get some journalist to pick this up.

Be here now

Catling — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 00:23:43 GMT

Today... I received powerfully the message: "Shhhhhh... just be. This is a gift, be silent and accept it." So... I'm going to stop overanalyzing my life, my interpersonal interactions, my history, my future projections... And just live. Well. I'm going to try, anyway. ;) I'll probably be quieter here for a bit. I just want to leave it on a good note. I'm not quiet now because I'm curled up fetal in my cave... I'm quiet here now because I'm embracing life and living it fully.

Love is patient; love is kind

Catling — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 17:37:18 GMT

In the context of a discussion on the nature of love (divine and human), one of my spiritual teachers quoted this to me today: I Corinthians 13 Love is patient; love is kind and envies no one. Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude; never selfish, not quick to take offense. There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, its hope, and endurance. In a word, there are three things that last forever: faith, hope, and love; but the greatest of them all is love. * * * I love and trust her so much as a teacher because when I need to hear something, perhaps a harsh truth, she can give it to me like this, so gently and gracefully that I see the errors I have been making without her saying a single negative word to me about my mistakes. She softly shows me what I need to see and if I am open then, we talk about it, and if not, she just gives me the words I need and trusts that I will in examining them find what I need from them. Never boastful... oof, hard for a Leo. But worthy reminder. Patient. Never rude. Envies no one. Well. I have work to do. And I will do it. With a song in my heart. A moment of agony and shame for the mistakes I have made, and then I release that, for wallowing in past mistakes serves no one. The moment passes, and I turn my face forward. I will print that out and hang it on my wall, over my altar, where I can see it every morning and be reminded.

Open letter to spammers

Catling — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 18:07:13 GMT

Dear Spammers What Spam, I really feel OK about the size of my penis. Seriously. I don't actually want a "bigger member" and I'm not interested in "streams of cummmmm." If I want "to make her scream," I think I've got some tried and true methods that don't involve your products. I feel plenty manly, thanks. My jang is just ducky, and I haven't had any complaints so far, my willy does not need your "magical transformations." If I do at some point decide that a "new and improved penis" is required in my life, I know of several websites and even local stores where I can purchase one in any size and color I want, no pills needed! I'm not actually sure what a "s*eX*ual GOD in her BEDRROMMM" would look like, but I doubt it suits my general style. "I Love You with All that I Am" is a nice sentiment and all, but I am not really comfortable hearing it from someone I haven't met in person, so knock it off, OK? And I don't cyber on the first date, so please stop sending me that link of you in the shower or masturbating with the dog's water bowl or whatever else it is you're doing.... really, I'm not that kind of girl, OK? I think... I think it's time to say goodbye. Please forget you ever knew me. I feel soiled every time I go into my inbox, really, it's got to stop. On a final note, I'm really sorry that the government coup robbed you of your birthright and inheritance, but don't feel I'm really qualified to help you out. Have you tried contacting the UN? Isn't that more their job than mine? No love, Catling

Our worst fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure

Catling — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 00:16:58 GMT

I quoted this to someone at an apropos moment Saturday night. He was, of course, already familiar with it, but sometimes we all need to be reminded of such things. I'm putting it here on my blog so that it can be a reminder for me when I need it. ;) "Our worst fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'who am I to be so brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?' Actually, who are we not to be? You are a child of God: Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us. It is not just in some of us, it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." ~Marianne Williamson Widely mis-attributed to Nelson Mandela

The Magic of Manifestation

Catling — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 20:09:36 GMT

It's crazy how we can put our shoulder to the grindstone for a long time, working to manifest dreams... give up and retire a dream... And then sometimes it just all falls in your lap all at once. What a weekend. Reconnecting with dear friends... meeting beautiful new friends. Singing my heart out, sharing healing... and the kind of affection and adult conversations I need so much. Looks like I have found a musical collaborator. One ready to go to a recording studio and start setting down tracks for an album right away. I have been wanting this for so long.. I really didn't expect it to happen now. I'm still a bit in pleasant shock. We really click, he's a beautiful songwriter and our voices mesh really nicely together. I think this is for real. Additionally at the party I met a woman who is the director of a hospice in the Boston area and would love to talk to me about volunteer opportunities and then hook me up with a CNA position once I have my certification. And a Leo brother in spirit healer type. And lots of other lovely people. Um... wow. Yes, please. Joy makes me dance through the world singing. In deep gratitude to the friend whose birthday celebration created the space for this kind of magic, in gratitude to God for the gifts showered on my life.... Love to you all.... may all of *your* dreams come true!

This mailing list will self destruct in one week

Catling — Fri, 12 Jan 2007 23:43:52 GMT

Posted to Skreetch: OK... the silence is deafening. I'm giving this one week. If no one else posts anything by Friday, January 19, 2006, I will delete this googlegroup, assuming at that point that no one but me is interested in this and there is no point in maintaining it, and then I'll just put all of my energy into my solo projects. * * * The creatrix of www.scrytch.com has decided not to pursue it. There are five people counting me signed up to skreetch, but I am the only one who posts anything. Like Guerilla Musical Theater, it's a great idea that no one but me is interested in, so I'm giving it one week and then I'm pulling the plug.

Skreetch: A Collaborative Writing Project Mailing List

Catling — Fri, 05 Jan 2007 22:37:37 GMT

For anyone who missed the boat and wasn't part of the cool kids allowed into scrytch before it became invite only (yep, rumor has it scrytch is now invite only, y'all have a good time now, y'hear?), I offer you: groups-beta.google.com/group/skreetch Collaborative writing. Anything goes. Cage matches between members actively encouraged. Creating multiple email addresses, each with a different personality, actively encouraged. Political rants, actively encouraged. Basically, anything goes. Show up and talk about my momma, show up and talk about your momma.... show up and talk about what a poopyhead George Bush is... Or do feel free to show up and share your most delicate, sweet, tender poems.. essays... short stories. Write serial epics as collaborative round robin or ignore us all and keep writing your own as we determinedly try to twist the plot away from you. The only rules are that Skreetch is open source, if you send it to Skreetch we reserve the right to comment on it, dissect it, tear it apart, mock it ferociously, rewrite it in Pig Latin or whatever other insanity we can possibly come up with! Welcome to the monkey house, have a banana, scratch yourself, fling some poo... whatever, dawg, it's all coo', fo shizzle!

Life flashing before my eyes

Catling — Fri, 05 Jan 2007 14:27:38 GMT

So, I couldn't sleep last night for a long time. I lay there staring at the ceiling, and on it played the movie of my life. Seriously. You know how they say that your entire life is supposed to flash before your eyes before you die? Well, mine did that last night, but I'm still here. Maybe preparing to die and preparing to give birth to a new life are similar life events on some level? It was really something, that movie I watched last night. I laughed, I cried, I cringed... I smiled from ear to ear. I saw so clearly some things that have always puzzled me. I think one of the things that is hardest for a survivor of any kind of abuse to comprehend is that people can get really pissed at you, people can hurt you really badly, people can push you away... and it doesn't mean that they don't still love you. People can be too busy to call you or email you for weeks or even months on end, and still be out there somewhere, and underneath all of that distraction by their own lives, they are still loving you. One who has suffered great abuse has a very all or nothing view of love at times, as evidenced by our melodramatic storming exits from the lives around us at times. This one I've broken my head on for a long time, I've wacked my skull on this truth so many times it is a wonder there's not a hole in my skull, but I think... I think... I think maybe I'm finally starting to get it. I'm not really ready to talk about the details of most of what I saw last night. But it has left me in a state of deep reflection and intense love. I love very single one of you with whom I am sharing this time on this green and blue orb. So... thank you, for being a part of my life. Woke up after not many hours of sleep and put on Rent, of course: the heart may freeze, or it can burn the pain will ease, if I can learn there is no future, there is no past I live this moment as my last there's only us, there's only this forget regret, or life is yours to miss no other road, no other way no day but today.... Do me a favor, will you? It's a big one, but it will be fun: Spend at least one minute staring into a mirror today, and seeing your inner beauty, seeing that spark of God. Oh sure, we do that, but hey, we all forget. So as a personal favor to me, will you spend one to five minutes looking in a mirror sometime today and just really loving yourself? Please? Thank you. Love you!

Kicking it up a notch: Fucking our way to World Peace

Catling — Sun, 24 Dec 2006 08:49:19 GMT

I have made an executive decision to extend Global Orgasm Day until New Year's. And I personally have a very specific goal in mind: I am masturbating with pictures of the White House in front of me and creating a Sex Poltergeist to haunt the Bush administration. I intend to aim every orgasm I have for the next week at George Bush and his cabinet. May they drown in desire until it takes over their every waking thought, may the Sex Poltergeist infect everyone in the White House with primal lust until the sex scandal for this administration that finally breaks out in the media... makes that moment with the blowjob in the Clinton administration look pretty fucking tame indeed. Yes, I realize I'm karmically asking for trouble here... the karmic backlash of this action might keep me mad with desire for the rest of my life. So be it, I'll take one for the team and trust that the sex I have for the rest of this mortal life will be excellent. Do whatever you feel inspired to in terms of adding to this project, I think we should hit them with lust bombs.... And don't forget to aim your orgasms at trouble spots all over the world, too, fuck your sweetie on a map of the world, for example. Rub your orgasmic juices all over Ireland on a map, spray a load onto Iraq, etc. You get the idea, participate as much or as little as you feel inspired. =) Namaste, Sister Hot Pants, fucking her way to World Peace

The Perfect Lotus Mandala Unfurls

Catling — Sun, 03 Dec 2006 18:28:42 GMT

All of my dreams came true last night. All of my dreams came true last night. All of them. Oh, some merely in that now the road to Manifestation is finally clear to me and I know precisely what I must do. But others... he wrote me back, that one for who I pined, and we are washing away the past, slowly reconnecting in Agape. I don't know what to say. I was crying. I was shocked and awed, shaken, stirred, I guess I am the Martini of Blissful Living. Thank you, for the kind words... I wandered out, alone, took a mild chance that opened into the Lotus mandala of utter perfection.... I.... the babbler has no words. There's only us There's only this No other road No other way No day but today Before bed, I smoked my last cigarette. That cigarette in my hand, that one... was the last symbol of my self-destruction. I smoked it, in celebration, knowing that it was the last cigarette. I inhaled the toxic smoke in the light of alchemy.... in celebration, I lit on fire this last symbol of the chains of suffering... it went up in smoke, the smoke, like all, joy... joy floating on the wind. Now and forever... I choose bliss.

Inventing a Meme: Helping each other

Catling — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 13:54:53 GMT

My. We certainly live in interesing times, don't we? So much light breaking through everywhere... and yet I'm seeing a lot of people faltering, scared, tossed about by the winds of their emotions, by fear over this regimes antics or by the nuttiness overseas on multiple fronts. Worry not, dear friends. We've won. We've won. It will take some time (perhaps six years? Tee. Hee.) for the really lasting, good changes to come through, but they are on their way. In fact, many of them are already here, as seeds, and I myself am watching those seeds sprouting, I'm watching a garden of love, healing and evolution blooming all around us. Walk out in the garden, stop to inhale the scent of flowers that you never knew existed. Feel them all around you. In the worst moments of your life, feel them growing inside your own heart and mind. Just hold on. Dawn is coming. Just hold on. If there is anything I can do to help any of you who are currently suffering, please do not hesitate to ask. Yes, I am a busy girl these days, but I love you all, so much... I will always try to aid you in whatever fashion I can. Lets make this a meme... What can I do to help you, specifically? Try to keep it realistic for my capabilities and something I would enjoy helping you with. And then, if you choose, repost this in your blog and ask people who read you what you can do to help them. Lets keep the love and support flowing.

Website Launch: The Rainbow Citadel, v1.0

Catling — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 08:56:05 GMT

I am launching my new website, the Rainbow Citadel: http://twilite.org/~firecat (I am planning to register the domain name soon, can't afford it this week, so for now, this url will do) This is my gift to the community. There are sections of it that I would like to grow with help from anyone who wants to work with me on it, specifically the "Dreamseeds" section, "The Gallery" and "The Library." If you have digital art you'd like to contribute, songs, poems or other writing, please do so. Dreamseeds is for wishes. The rules on Dreamseeds are that the wishes must be of the light, you can not make wishes such as "I wish so and so would fall in love with me" because that would be coercive and is not what I'm looking for, in particular wishes that heal others, heal the earth and add beauty, joy and love are what I seek. My own wishes are the first up there, please help me by emailing me your wishes for your communities, for yourselves, for those you love, for the planet, the country, the human race, etc. I want this to be not my website but YOUR website, with me as the loving webmistress. :)

Swimming slowly through sunlit joy

Catling — Mon, 30 Oct 2006 03:14:48 GMT

We live in interesting times, my friends. Someday perhaps I'll write it all up and sell the screenplay. No one would believe it as anything other than fiction. It has been a beautiful weekend of hanging out with friends, of deep yet subtle mystical experiences, of being fully present in my life and celebrating every breath, every touch, every moment a perfect rose unfurling its petals to release its scent into me. Fez and I took a walk by the lake yesterday. The sun was shining brightly, the wind was intense. I can see why they call Chicago the Windy City! We walked along the shore, admiring the way the wind carved the sand into patterns that matched the patterns of the waves. I noticed that the lake is vast enough that it feels like an ocean to me, which is good, because as Santa Fe showed me I tend to go psycho when I live away from the ocean. I think the lake here is enough like an ocean that I'm fine. There were willow trees by the lake. I stood and let the wind blow through my hair, the branches of the willow hitting me in the face, surrounding me in a tossing curtain of green fronds. Later, we shopped for groceries at Whole Foods. I got utterly lost in the produce section. The pumpkins were so beautiful, round, orange and cool beneath my fingertips. The concord grapes had such an intense scent to them, it made me think of my earliest memory, which is from when I was a year and a half and my parents drove to the Finger Lakes and stopped at a vineyard. My earliest memory is of the overpowering scent of grapes. We finished shopping and went out the car, and Fez pointed out the clouds in the sky, which were in the same pattern as the waves and the sand from earlier in the day, and he explained the physics behind that. Fez took me to Mass at Queen of All Saints Basilica today. Oh... my God. It is so beautiful. This incredible catholic cathedral, with attached school, etc. Utterly beautiful architecture, stained glass windows, etc. We walked up to the table to get a program and one of the ushers asked, "Are you staying for the Mass?" When we said yes, he asked us to do him a favor and carry the bread and wine up to the altar at the appropriate point in the ceremony. Well. Considering that we'd been partially afraid that we'd be struck by lightning upon trying to enter the church, this really felt like God working through those who worship him to say very clearly, "be welcome to my house, children." We agreed happily and he showed us where to sit. The service was incredibly beautiful. The sermon was perfect for both of us right now, it was on desire, and asking God/Jesus very clearly for what you want and need. We carried up the bread and wine when we were asked (Fez, wine, me, bread). I was a bit nervous participating in front of all those people on our first visit to the church, but I did it with reverence and then the priest beamed this incredible smile at me and said, "Thank you" and I just grinned at him and floated back to my seat. The communion hymn was "Amazing Grace," which was really perfect. After, we walked around at a park on a river nearby that had some awesome sculpture. There was a loon swimming in the river... we stood and watched it, watched it create Vs in the water with its body. There were a number of robins flitting about, too. We have been eating very well, too. I made this awesome tomato soup with zucchini, garlic and onions and he made grilled cheese sammiches with onion, garlic and tomato, and tofu seasoned well, sliced thin and fried crispy to fake bacon. Yum! We've been sampling some magnificent and quite affordable wines, too, two sweet italian wines, one white, one red, both slightly effervescent and a french red table wine called "Les Heretiques." In the case of all of the wines, we were attracted to the label or bottle (the italian white is in a gorgeous blue bottle, the french red has a deep blue label with star constellations on it), noted that the wine in question was inexpensive and decided to take a chance: From this we have discovered three, not one, not two, but three truly lovely wines. This weekend has been so perfect that the imperfections are merely there to add depth, to instruct, etc. One such just taught me an important lesson: Move slowly, even if the doorbell is ringing... there was a spill on the floor that I didn't see and I slipped on it and took a pretty nasty spill, big ouch of the knee and lower back. But Fez and Tea are here, and eager to practice the Ruach Healing we all learned recently, so I'm sure I'll be fine. After that, we're going to watch Fight Club. Raaaar!

Shamanic Astrology in Chicago

Catling — Wed, 25 Oct 2006 17:56:12 GMT

My dear friend yahazim is working to launch his shamanic astrology business. I've received readings from him; the system is fascinating and very insightful, and his interpretation of it is excellent. He showed me facets that no other astrologer has ever touched on and it was intriguing and really helpful, integrating what I learned from him has been a key component of my spiritual and emotional growth. Please consider ordering a reading from him, you will not be sorry! Even if you're not local, talk to him, I'm sure he'd be happy to do a phone, IM or email reading for you, and it really is amazing! * * * I am officially starting my professional business in Shamanic Astrology. This includes: personal readings, relationship readings, workshops, and study intensives. I have been formally studying this astrological system since 2000, and have performed over 100 readings, both personal and relationship. Ask anyone who I've given a formal sit down reading to and you will discover that, indeed, this system is quite potent and life transforming. If you are interested in a reading, please message me, e-mail me at jim@yahazim.com, or call me on my phone: 847-828-5629 If you have received a reading from me, I invite you to write your testimonial below. If it's a good testimonial, I will ask your permission to include it in my soon-to-manifest brochure and website. As this business will grow and prosper from referrals, I ask your help in generating that network. Thank you! Jim What is Shamanic Astrology?? http://www.shamanicastrology.com/introduction_to_shamanic__astrol.htm "Shamanic Astrology readings provide clues within an archetypal and mythical framework creating greater awareness for conscious participation with life purpose and the great mystery. Each reading acts to cellularly activate your divine blueprint and bring it further into conscious awareness and understanding, so you can uniquely and creatively express your true essence. At the Turning Of The Ages our perception of time accelerates and collective confusion is prevalent. Shamanic Astrology provides us with a valuable tool for confirming what we already know, or sense, and assists us in trusting our own inner knowing and inner process. Thus, we can better comprehend and embrace the essence or our original intent, while consciously dreaming the dream onward. Shamanic Astrology is designed to assist an individual in taking responsibility for their own life. This system is based on the hermetic principle, which says; "As Above, So Below!" This is not operating from the perspective of CAUSE AND EFFECT!!! Rather, the basis comes from the understanding that the cycles or patterns of the outer world, correspond with the inner cycles and patterns of our own psyche. These cycles and patterns represent the unfoldment of our own lives. Carl Jung referred to this as 'synchronicity', meaning events that happen together in time. Thus, it is acausal. The outer cycles don't cause the inner cycles; they are reflections of each other. Shamanic Astrology takes this idea beyond that, and suggests the outer cycles and the inner cycles are precisely the same thing. The patterning of the constellations are the As Above representation of our So Below great myths and themes rooted in our culture, and therefore, rooted in our consciousness."

Lions and tigers and refugee shelters and Gupta plots, oh my

Catling — Wed, 25 Oct 2006 15:25:32 GMT

Whatever you might say of Vinay Gupta, he has solid brass ones. He's currently getting DoD funding for his refugee shelters project, and just released this paper at the Pentagon on the subject of getting out of Iraq; he gave me permission to share this with you: http://files.howtolivewiki.com/resilience/ Do pay particular attention to the images on page 3 and let me know if you notice anything. ;) Details on his hexayurt structures are available on the rest of the website: http://files.howtolivewiki.com/ Very interesting stuff!

FUCK. YEAH. BITCHAZ.

Catling — Wed, 11 Oct 2006 05:03:43 GMT

I... really am the person I have prayed I could be. I... really do spread light and joy. I... really do make a difference in the world, increase the joy and light and love of the world... merely by existing and loving as I do. I really am loved and accepted by humans so beautiful, so loving, so real that I am struck dumb with awe and humility that I am accepted as equal in their company. Is this life real? It's a dream, a dream, a cruel joke that will rip like a silk- No. I say thee nay. I say that this is real, that I have chosen this, that I have FUCKING earned this, that I deserve to be beautiful and real and loving, and seen and loved as such, while still being a fucking lunatic, a goofball, a geeky twitgirl.... With a heart like a star. With a heart like a lotus. With a mind like a gutter with stars falling into it, shimmering joyous light floating on filthy naughty oil slicked sewer juice. GOD I love you. ALL of you. GOD and HUMAN and EARTH and... fuck me gently with a chainsaw. This is life. This is really MY life. HOT FUCKING DAMN! Slap my ass and call me Sally! THIS IS IT! LIFE! YEAH, BABY, YEAH!

My address next week when I go Home

Catling — Tue, 22 Aug 2006 20:50:26 GMT

I'm with Entheon Village, 3:30-4:00 and Esplanade. I'm camping with a smaller sub group (for some peace and frickin' quiet) but will be at Entheon a lot, and messages left there will find me if I'm not around when you drop by. Drop by! See the CoSM and hang out with the Greys, the Shulgins and bask in the love, warmth and energy of Entheon. A lot of people have been busting their asses for months to bring this camp to the Playa and it's going to be amazing. For you folks who are going: Who are you camping with and what's your BRC address? Please drop it in the comments here, even if you think I already know so I can compile my pre-burn list of people and places to visit. Thanks! (less than one week) (LESS THAN ONE WEEK!) (this time next week I'll have dust in my hair!) (Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!)

All we ever wanted was everything

Catling — Mon, 03 Jul 2006 09:55:16 GMT

Things I learned (and/or was reminded of) on my summer vacation: 1. You can camp in a mud wallow in the pouring rain and still have a marvelous time with the right company. 2. Shiva and Kala are some of my favorite fun yet chill party animals. 3. underwatercolor is one of the gentlest and sweetest souls I've met. I'm glad to have finally had a chance to connect more to him and a little sad that it only happened now, as I'm leaving. 4. Some of the people that I associate with actually smoke crack cocaine. 5. When the mud is ankle deep and very slippery, bare feet work better than boots. 6. I love dietrich and imlad in ways I will never find adequate words to express, but that will continually delight me. 7. SoCo/OJ, plaintains, eggs and bacon is my new breakfast of champions. 8. I prefer the texture of soggy leaves to mud. 9. ... except when I don't and am grooving on the mud squishing between my toes. 10. My friends are astoundingly creative and adversity makes them shine. 11. I miss roadtrips and really enjoyed driving all night long to get home. Once settled in Chicago, I must acquire wheels and continue to explore this country. 12. The book of love has music in it. 13. When yahazim and I need to talk, a cell connection will be found, even in the woods of Vermont. 14. I am loved on such a grand scale that I am astonished, humbled, grateful and delighted by it. 15. Sometimes the bug wins. 16. There's a particular delight to seeing a beloved in a new and beautiful light. 17. desiringsubject and her hubby kick ass. 18. It gets dark in dem dar woods. 19. The damndest people show up in the damndest places! 20. No matter how many miles divide us, our hearts will remain entwined, and the love will continue to flow. 21. Sometimes guacamole is an orgasmic experience. 22. I am never camping without an air mattress again! (so much comfier) 23. Hookah lounge is the bomb diggity. 24. Mrrrrreeeeow... purrrrrrrrr. 25. I could show up to these events with no food at all and be well fed all weekend. In fact, almost all the food I brought failed to get used. 26. I am honored by your trust. 27. I do so love being Mommy. 28. I do so love being mommied. 29. There's something utterly peaceful and beautiful about listening to the first sleepy birds singing after being up all night. 30. Part of why I love this community is continually being exposed to new experiences, music, people. 31. If life hands you mud, wallow in it. 32. My lips are starved for kisses, my skin is starved for touch. I drank all I received and gave back with gratitude and joy. 33. JP is a fine gentlemen, but the flakiest flake in my bowl of granola. (he objects most strenously) 34. Psyhoops will be the next scheduled controlled substance. I think it is possible to trip just watching one in action. 35. I am never going to be a silkworm and that's OK. 36. I am, by God, going to dance with fire. Soon. 37. JP and I get along best when I drive. 38. My hair can go unwashed for three days and still look fabulous. 39. My body can go unwashed for three days and not offend the noses of those near me. 40. EL wire is always a crowd pleaser. My heart is full to overflowing. You poured so much love into me that all the pain of imminent separation was washed away and we were cleansed and renewed. I love you all so much. Firefly was the best going away party a girl could ever have. Thank you all, so much. Longer entry coming up... possibly soon, I need to shower and see if the speed has worn off enough to let me sleep. (Driving aid)

Pull me out from inside, I am ready, I am ready, I am fine

Catling — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 14:20:43 GMT

I blinked and suddenly the time is all gone, and I stand practically on the eve of leaving Boston for Chicago, and this time, I've bought a one way ticket, no plans to return for the foreseeable future. So here I am... I spent tonight in your arms, kissing sweet lips, caressing, cuddling and you all crept a little deeper into my heart. My love is not bound by any physical geographical considerations, I will continue to beam my love to you no matter how many miles separate our physical bodies. Aiieee, this is not easy. I will miss you, miss you, miss you. I love you, love you, love you. My fondest wishes wander with you as you craft your lives, your dreams. I love you all so much.... The rain pours down outside. I wandered out barefoot and pressed my face into the wet petals of a perfect pearl pink rose, inhaling its soft scent, and some part of me was still locked in embraces with some part of all of you and I felt so loved, so accepted. At peace with myself and the world.

why I'm not asleep yet...

Catling — Wed, 14 Jun 2006 05:27:44 GMT

outside my window in the dark nightbird singing while inside this tiny room my heart ringing like a bell struck emitting tones of pure love

golden days of anaconda

Catling — Sat, 27 May 2006 00:36:52 GMT

There are some days that have a sort of golden haze over them... this is one of them. We wandered the fish zoo, occasionally squealing with excitement like children. They had all sorts of pretty fishies, snakes and lizards, including an anaconda{1}, chameleons, and my favorite, sea dragons, both Leafy and Weedy. The weather is very warm and sunny, I have a Pinot Grigio chilling in the freezer and life is groovy. Tomorrow eve when the boy is done with work we are off to the Sacred Earth festival, which I have really good feelings about. I think it's going to be a beautiful weekend. Much love, gang. {1} Little known facts about catling: I can not hear or read the word "anaconda" without immediately thinking "my anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hon!"

You know it's going to be an interesting day when...

Catling — Fri, 26 May 2006 14:09:18 GMT

one of the first sights you see upon waking up is a naked man running around with a toilet brush in his hand. *gigglefit* We're off to the Aquarium as soon as we get our act together. Yay, fishies! Probably other touristy sightseeing as well. w00t! This weekend, off to the Sacred Earth festival with Yahazim, which looks to be an excellent time.