Demon Seed

I'VE CRIED MY LAST TEAR
NOW THAT MY EYES CAN HEAR
WHAT MY HEART COULDN'T SEE
AND WEARINESS OF HUMILIATION
HAS ENLIGHTENED ME; CONQURED MY FEAR
MY FEAR OF BEING ALONE
BUT WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
I WAS ALONE WHEN YOU WERE WITH ME
ALL THAT MATTERS NOW IS...
EVERYTHING
I'VE STOOD IN THE SHADOW OF MALE INSECURITY
AND DAMN DID IT OVER WHELM ME
HAD ME BELIEVING THAT I WAS THE MOTHER
OF DISTRUST AND NEGITIVITY
CARRYING THE DEMON SEEDS
ARTIFICIALLY INSEMINATED, BIRTHED, NURTURED
AND BREAST FED BY ME
I SWALLOWED
I CONSUMED ABUSE VERBALLY AND PHYSICALLY
LIKE AN UNATTENDED CHILD, RUNNING WILD
IN "WILLY WONKA'S CHOCOLATE FACTORY"
SPITTING, GAGGING AND CHOKING;
STILL I SWALLOWED
I'VE ENDURED PROMISCUITY
CONVINCED ONE WOMAN WASN'T ENOUGH TO PLEASE
RUMMAGING THROUGH NUMBERS IN YOUR POCKETS
COWARING SILENTLY THROUGH HANG UP CALLS
AND A CHEST FULL OF HICKEIES
BECAUSE
MY EYES COULDN'T HEAR
AND MY HEART COULDN'T SEE
NOW ALL THAT MATTERS IS...
SELF RESPECT, SELF WORTH AND SELF SUFFISCIANCY;
CONCIDERATION, LOYALITY, INTEGRITY AND DIGNITY
ALL THE "LITTLE" THINGS YOU SAID
WOULD DESTROY YOU AND ME
I'M REGERGITATING
SO STEP OFF,
WITH YOUR BEGGIN' SELFISH ASS
THINKING, "I LOVE YOU" IS SOMETHING YOU SAY
TO GET WHAT YOU NEED
KICK ROCKS,
WITH YOUR INSECURE, WEAK ASS
HIDING BEHIND PHYSICAL STRENGTH
AND THAT REVERSE PSYCOLOGY BULLSHIT
TO KEEP ME IN CHECK AND INTIMIDATE ME
GET GONE,
WITH YOUR ALL DAY BLUNT SMOKIN'-
THREE BABY'S MOMA- HAVIN' TRIFFLIN ASS
INFLUENCED BY THAT SUPA FLY-THE MACK
PIMP DADDY MENTALITY OF THE 1970'S
AS IF YOU WERE STILL 19
MAKE A PATH FOR A NUBIAN QUEEN
WISER, STRONGER, MORE INTELLIGENT
ACCEPTING NO MORE BULLSHIT
REALIZING LOVE MAKES YOU STRONG
NOT WEAK
OPEN YOUR MOUTH
AND TASTE A FEW DROPS OF MY SEED
IT'S YOUR TURN TO SWALLOW
(c) 2004, 2005 All Rights Reserved

(for my “Sun”)
I see you sitting
in the corner of my bedroom
No doubt wondering
Why I have abandoned you
If I’m avoiding you
All though my glances
Are in passing
I still look at you;
There is still a yearning
deep within me
to stroke and
caress you;
so delicate and unique in your shape
and shades
(But, yes I’m avoiding you)
I still love you
My favorite sound
Is still the sound
Of my fingers
Sliding up
and down,
and I
still love the thought of
knowing you more intimately
I’m just afraid
that I haven’t the passion
To fully appreciate you
Or the focus
to commit to you
like I should
But that’s no excuse.
Especially if I love you
The way I say I do
(and I do)
I just get frustrated so easily
but to be completely
honest,
I like the way people
look at me
when I’m with you
holding you… I like that
more than
actually knowing you
but I promise,
one day
I’ll set aside my selfishness
and lack of discipline
and learn how to play you
Inspired by a picture of Karen Gibson & her guitar
jhae “ MoKha” lewis ©2006