30

“I don’t understand,” said Pooh Bear, looking up from his screen. “What does ‘postmodernism, neo-feudalism and tight holes’ mean, Christopher? Is postmodernism good with honey?”

“Pooh, Pooh, lick my shoe, what to do with a stupid Pooh!” Christopher chuckled to himself. “No silly bear, you can’t eat postmodernism with anything. You can’t eat on postmodernism at all.”

“Oh,” said Pooh, starting to look confused. “I don’t like the sound of that!”

“You can’t do anything,” Christopher continued, in spite of Pooh bear, “unless you know why you’re doing it. Why do you eat honey, Pooh Bear?”

“Oh that’s easy, Christopher. Because it tastes good!” responded the Pooh.

“You see Pooh,” Christopher said, staring straight at the dejected bear, “you don’t even know if this ‘taste’ is an imposed cultural phoneme or an artifact of primordial desire-mechanics.”

“Deary, deary me!” said Pooh, “I had no idea.”

“And if a transvestite, bisexual Marine sergeant,” Christopher rambled, “ with blue shoes, mother issues and poor impulse control says he thinks honey is ‘good’, do you really think he’s thinking about the same ‘good’ as you?”

“Why, golly Christopher, I don’t know.” meekly replied the Pooh.

“I don’t either,” Christopher said, “but if he wants your honey, you better give it to him. That’s what I say.”