There is a voice that tells me that I cannot achieve my dreams, cannot have what I want. It has deduced this from observing my "failures" at trying to manifest my visions. But this voice has more than just an opinion about the matter; it has an agenda. It is adamant that I should not TRY to achieve that which in the past has been beyond my reach... many times, perhaps.

This voice argues against the possibility of real change, of miracles, and proclaims instead that the Universe opposes ... read more

[12-Nov-2007]

What's in the way now, what's keeping me from moving forward,
is the thing that I steadfastly refuse to feel -
Grief.

So much anger is present
because that is where I stop
along the path to grief.
It's as close as I allow myself to get.
And I keep on stopping here,
trying to get to Grief.

This anger feels a desire to blame
and push away all life,
so it's a very lonely place
(perhaps you've been?)

What does it take, I wonder,
to be willing to feel this gri... read more

Give up all visions for the future,
all desires, dreams, and fears.
Give up all cherished memories
and judgments from the past,
All triumphs and failures.

Enter with me into what is left,
which must be only what is right here, right now.
All that is, is present here with us.
This is our home, it's where we live
even while we sleep and dream of other worlds.
We awake together here forever,
and there, not at all.

Dreams have a past, a future, a story,
but go nowhere.
Still the... read more

"Refuse not the awareness of your completion, and seek not to restore it to yourself." [ACIM T15-VIII-3:3]

That last part is the killer, for I see that on some level I am ALWAYS seeking to restore my completion, for I AM refusing its awareness;
there is my identification with separateness, individuality, ego.

In this deepest realm is also my hidden guilt,
for my guilt, judgment, attack, longing and incompletion
all arise together from the same decision to be separate.

"When you ... read more

When you were young, you had a secret crush,
but your fear of rejection exceeded your longing,
so you kept your secret love well hidden.

You were afraid the truth would wound you, so
you withdrew with it to a shadow world
to nurture private fantasy instead.

Thus are many of your choices made;
you still shy away from learning truths of love
for fear of what they would reveal, preferring
the imagined safety of your shadow world.

But shadows can never give the light you long for... read more