My Blog

karmic connections, or love disillusionments

   Sun, April 30, 2006 - 1:40 PM
I doubt it would surprise you to know that one of the most consistent and profound questions I hear from clients in my metaphysical practice has to do with romance. That was true 20 years ago and it will be true tomorrow.

"Is this person my soul mate," I am asked. "Will I ever find my soul mate in this lifetime?" The deep yearning each of us has to connect with the ideal partner is surely an important aspect of the human condition.

Clearly embedded in our psyche is the notion that there is ONE person on this planet that is truly meant for us. Our "one true love." If only we could discover that person, surely we could live together happily ever after and attain our innermost desires.

Probably NOT. At least not that effortlessly!

Romantic relationships are a primary classroom of life. We've been given custody of our life force for what we can LEARN.

And almost universally, learning is NOT easy. It takes enormous spiritual growth to be able to come together with another human and LEARN happily ever after. It CAN be done and it is something each of us correctly aspires to do, but your own life experiences PROVE -- it does not spring from a chapter in a fairy tale novel!

Am I suggesting that we are wrong to seek that deeply satisfying connection with a beloved? I am not. But as growth-seeking adults, I am saying that we should learn the accurate PERSPECTIVE when it comes to romantic love.

The perspective is simple: We love in order to grow. Period.
Of course loving another is a Divinely Inspired Gift bountiful in its rewards and happiness. But ONLY if we understand the process in its proper perspective. When we don't understand or accept, things get terribly bollixed up.

Most who inquire about their "soul mate" are looking for a smooth, easy, conflict free relationship. A connection with that one person on the planet who magically creates within us total and complete fulfillment.

Someone who transports us into a coupling free of incompatibility, strive, struggle, turmoil and doubt. Our "other half" with whom we may enjoy the REWARDS of romantic connection without toil.

Does such a person exist for each of us? In my spiritual understanding, the answer is "YES, but."

As you probably guess, the "but" is the key. BUT WE NEVER ENCOUNTER SUCH A PERSON UNTIL we have EARNED it.

Until we have spiritually grown OURSELVES to the degree that the work left to be done in our lifetime is CONTRIBUTING TO OTHERS rather than working on ourselves. Then and ONLY then do we encounter this ever delightful romantic partner.

So you see, most of us are looking in the WRONG direction. We are busy looking OUTWARD for our "soul mate" when we really should be looking INWARD at what personal growth we have left to do!


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Sun, April 30, 2006 - 1:45 PM

So many of us are searching for our one and only…our Soulmate…yet, many of us (ok, most of us) do not have a clear understanding of what a soul mate is. The personal conception of this idea - as that is what the term soul mate really is, an idea - varies from individual to individual, yet the most common understanding of the word is just as I used to open this thread…our one and only.

From twin flames to karma mates and everything in between, in practice a Soulmate relationship is likely to exist between a person and numerous other people in that individual’s life. If we define the term Soul Mate as a deep soul connection with someone we have a ‘contract’ with, we could have this type of relationship with our parents, our children, our first spouse, our first lover…the list goes on.

From my perspective, a SOUL MATE is someone we have a spiritual contract with…a contract to help each other to heal, grow, and evolve, no matter if it is a positive or negative relationship. Sexual love may or may not be an aspect of the relationship. Instead of searching for the elusive one and only, we should look within ourselves and find a deeper understanding of who we are and what we truly need from a relationship…this will help to attract a soul mate to us.

And yes, this person may be your one and only…for an entire lifetime, or only for a month or two. Spiritually, it does not matter how long the relationship lasts as long as the contract is fulfilled and the two spirits are able to learn their lesson from the relationship.

The very concept of relationship is evolving, must, indeed, evolve just as we are all growing, changing, and hopefully transcending the darkness and cloudy beliefs of the past. To punish ourselves because we can’t find the perfect relationship (truly, it doesn’t exist!) or to obsessively cling to a relationship that is harmful is to deny ourselves the opportunity to grow, to reach, and to find a relationship that will make us happy.

The endless search, the total confusion, the very question “Is HE the one?” could drive anyone insane! When you say forever, what does that mean? Time is a man created entity…forever is the here and now. When you love, love fully and let the love you feel inside be your guide. Try to go into each relationship with a clean slate…don’t bring the useless baggage of an old relationship with you. To establish a long-term, committed relationship, you shouldn’t compare your new partner to someone you used to love.

When one soul mate relationship ends, look at the positive aspects of it - what did you learn? How are you different now? Discard everything else…it is worthless to ponder and to waste your energy on negative thoughts and emotions. If a past relationship was a bad one or ended roughly, refuse to allow it to continue to have an impact on your life after it is over. If you cannot, you are perpetuating negative karma and binding yourself to the person. Sever the bonds…don’t look back.

When you are able to look into another’s eyes and express love openly and freely, you have found a love that will be healing, empowering, and delightfully fun. As you grow, you may find that a relationship no longer fulfills your needs…perhaps your contract has been fulfilled and it is time to move on. Relationships do not have to end with a burst of hatred or ongoing putrid thoughts.

Some soul mate relationships may be forever, but not in the sense of only having a one and only in the current life…you will always know that person on another level, a soul level, and you may meet again and again on this plane in different incarnations, either because you have to or because you WANT to.

If a relationship ends that you do not want to end, understand that the other person has other people to meet and things to do for his or her personal evolution….perhaps you are holding on out of fear of change or due to antiquated beliefs or the desire to maintain face in society. Give this person the space to grow and to heal, forgive and forget…you will meet again. Trust in the universe and look for the positive in any painful situation…another soul mate would love to spend time with you!

Sun, April 30, 2006 - 1:46 PM
That's so well put, I couldn't agree with you more!
Sun, April 30, 2006 - 1:58 PM

“I have passed in ignorance through a cycle of many rebirths, seeking the builder of the house. Continuous rebirth is a painful thing. But now, housebuilder, I have found you out. You will not build me a house again. All your rafters are broken, your ridge-pole shattered. My mind is free from active thought, and has made an end of craving.” –Buddha
Sun, April 30, 2006 - 2:00 PM

Relationships are mirrors that help us to learn more about ourselves. They are the most challenging and the most rewarding aspects of life. The more intimate the relationship the greater the opportunity for growth we are given.

There are three different types of relationship mirrors. One is the mirror of who you were. This mirror gives you the opportunity to see how far you have come, the chance to experience the karma that you have already cleared. So don ’t get caught up in this relationship worried about why it is coming back at this time, thank it and let it go.

A second type of relationship is the one that is mirroring where you are now on your path. If an issue or person has an emotional “charge ”to it, then you still have work to do. This mirror is the hardest to look at because it reflects the issues you have not yet finished in your life. These are the things that we are the most blind to.

The last type of relationship is the one that mirrors your potential. This allows you to have a glimpse at who you could be, if you wanted to. This person is usually someone that you idealize and put on a pedestal or look up to.

Take a look at your various relationships and see which group they fall into. By knowing this you will gain insight into yourself. Self understanding is the entire reason for these mirrors, not to ‘fix ’the other person, but to look at yourself and learn.

The primary reason for most relationships is so you can work on your spiritual self and your karma! So with that said, the more you clear up issues for yourself, the more you ARE the ‘right ’person; the more you will attract the person you are looking for.

As you continue to work on yourself you will meet many potential partners, in every facet of life. From the point of view of Love relationships, though you may meet someone and the connection was so strong that it almost takes your breath away. You may have the experience of knowing someone ’s thoughts and feelings, almost before they do. When this happens you probably have connected with someone who is your Soul Mate.

So now, what is a Soul Mate. Soul Mates are those beings that we have had connections with in past lives. They may have been our parents, siblings, spouses, friends, etc. and they have agreed to come back to join us again. The reason for this rejoining is so that we can each achieve balance in our lives. Our Soul Mates represent our spiritual family. By connecting with them we are reminded of the resonance of our Soul and also they help us to wake up and remember our purpose. Most of the time when we think of Soul Mates we are thinking of love relationships, but we can have Soul Mates that join us for business partnerships, healing relationships, and yes, love relationships.

Any relationship we can have is open to the arena of Soul Mates. They may be a teacher or coach or counselor who comes into our life and touches it deeply. Soul Mates are truly our friends from many lifetimes who come to play again with on this Earth. Often they come into our lives for a specific time or event. They may even come into a love relationship to assist us in a specific learning and then move on.

Whatever the purpose of being in each others lives it is a beautiful experience. When you connect with your Soul Mate in a love relationship, you have, in effect, found your perfect mate for where you are in your development as a Soul.

All relationships serve a purpose and should be honored and appreciated for what they have to offer you in your personal spiritual growth. Thank the person and the experiences for all that you have had the opportunity to learn and clear. Know that ALL relationships are sacred, because they bring us closer to the Light of All That Is.
Sun, April 30, 2006 - 2:07 PM
Soul Mates

I believe that many people have difficulty embracing the idea of past lives or in reincarnation. Yet many of these same individuals are determined to find their Soul Mates.


"Every time our unconscious is working something out, it calls into our lives the people who have within the pieces of the answer we are seeking."
Sun, April 30, 2006 - 2:20 PM
Q & A

Q. What is all this about soulmate love connection
Or Twin Flames can I actually have one?

Yes, there are soulmates, twin flames, whatever you want to call them, but there are also SOULMATE CONNECTIONS. In believing that everything happens for a reason, know that some of the people that come into our Lives are merely there just to teach us a lesson.

Your soul is consciousness or thought. We often perceive it as a creational flame, a light or a soul spark of light.

What's the difference Twin Flame & Soulmate connection?

A soulmate connection would be the divine connection, both Twinflame and Soulmate both have intense energies, Twinflame is the dynamite energy where Soulmate is the Dynamo that is not quite as powerful but long lasting, there are several types of Soulmates, friendships, family, children, even pets.

Twinflame is the explosion of energy where Soulmate is the generator energy, that is the difference.

Q. How do I know He/She is my twin flame?

Your actual Twin flame is the other half of you soul. usually that person is NOT your ideal mate, for good reason... they are difficult to live with, your literal " other half" embodies everything you are and usually reflects EVERYTHING you do not like about your self. This is not easy to live with total chaos you have come to where you are very comfortable with your self for it to work.

Most people mistake Twin Flame for their Soulmate. Yes, we all have a Twin Flame. Soulmates, you get together and everything is perfect, Twin flame there always is a chaos, one can be attached, age difference, different locations, or the person has some serious issues and is afraid to open up to the energy because the bond is too intense.

Q. What will happen when I do find My Twin Flame?

It will be a Direct bond with this person, so drawn that you can’t let go of the connection even if you never had a relationship or if He/She is not single, that thoughts will be never ending, sometimes for years.

Q. Will it lead my life in destruction what do I do?

The connection is very intense and you can feel what they are feeling even apart. Sound a little scary? It can be a beautiful and traumatic experience as it sounds, Sometimes people can’t handle this deep Spiritual Bond with a some one and block it, but the Twin Flame is never one sided, the feeling between the two will always remain and will find themselves some way back to their Twin flame when Karma permits, this depends on every one differently.

Q.When will it connect?

A Twin Flame usually pops up when you LEAST expect it. You will also find yourself coming down to the same symptoms of a "soulmate connection” it’s telepathic, hugging each other is like coming home for nourishment. Twin flames come together when they have service work to do on the planet.

Q. Why do we have Twinflame and soulmates?

There here for us for a reason, to help us grow spiritually, before we are born in the physical world, our life is with the universal spirit and we’re brought here for a short time to make our choices and destiny for the after life. That after crossing over the first time and many times after we haven't fulfilled what we suppose to do, we have the choice to come back into the physical world to correct our mistakes and grow from them.

The whole point to life is learning and experiencing what we want to so when we cross over from the physical world to the Other Side, we won't feel we have to come back. Life on Earth isn't Home, the after life is. If you have ever experienced De ja Vu, you know that you've felt like you've been in a certain place, knew someone or had a conversation before that very moment. That is very true. Most likely you knew that person, and had that conversation

Q. What if my soul mate isn't destined to come into my life for another ten years?

Spiritually all things are linked I think that if your are drawn towards these words, it is often because the time is getting close to when you will meet your true soulmate.

Did you know that you often attract people into your life who look as you do in parallel or past lives? For example - you are a man seeking a female partner. You will seek out someone who looks and acts if you were a woman - like a mirror image. Your ideal partner is who you are in that physical body!

We are always seeking ways to experience ourselves.

Many people miss their other soul aspect, and feel incomplete throughout their lives. They feel alone, often abandoned and lost, depressed. They cannot find themselves. A piece of themselves is always missing. They search for it in third dimension but never completely find it. If they are lucky, they find someone who comes close to making them feel whole. They want someone to love them, share with them and help them through this journey.

Q. How do I find my soulmate?
Sun, April 30, 2006 - 2:22 PM
Receive a synchronistic message from the Soul Love book by going to


the "Creating Your Highest Future" room. Click on the Soul Love book picture, and read the message that comes up.

Excerpt from the book (good)

Orin: Just as your soul loves others, so does it love you. Its love for you is so powerful, so transformative, so unconditional, that you will never feel unloved or alone again once you are able to receive its love on a regular basis.

Your soul knows no other way to be; it only knows love. It is incapable of judging you, being mad at, disappointed in, or angry with you. Its love for you is complete and absolute. There is nothing you could do that it would not love, for your soul is not capable of any feelings other than love, bliss, and joy.

It celebrates each time you love yourself, knowing as you love and honor yourself you are closer to it. It sends you love anytime you feel low. It accepts everything about you and your life. It tries every way it knows how to love you, working with you steadily to heal all your negative self-images, feelings of guilt, self-doubt, self-judgment, worry, and other ways that cut you off from the universal presence of love.

Take something about yourself or your life you may not feel accepting about. If there is something you have been judging yourself for, doubting yourself, making yourself wrong, feeling a failure or feeling guilty about, think of that now.

Let the warm light of your soul shine through your heart center. As you think of this issue, imagine your soul’s love is pouring through your heart and surrounding this issue with love. It is as if everyone involved, every aspect of this issue, is softening. Use your imagination and notice what changes as you add more and more of your soul’s love to this.

You may do this as many times as you wish. Every time you do it you will change the situation for the better and put yourself on a higher path in this area of your life. Do not have any expectations about how things might change, simply focus on the issue and radiate your soul’s love to it. Be open to whatever happens as something your soul is bringing to you.

Let your soul's love pour through your heart.
Forgive yourself for anything you did in the past.

As you feel your soul’s love in your heart, start by realizing that in a very quick moment, you can forgive yourself of anything you have done in the past that you have judged as wrong. Just decide to put it behind you and release it, and to give it no more energy. It belongs in the past, there is nothing you can do about it to change what you did. All you can change is the way you think about it.

Your soul does not judge you.
It loves you unconditionally.

In the presence of the love of your soul, all is forgiven, all is love. Your soul does not judge you, you judge yourself. Decide that you will put the past behind you, particularly those times you do not feel good about how you acted, what you did, what you said, or who you were.

Be willing to forgive yourself instantly for anything that you do. Just bring in the presence of the love of your soul into your heart. If thoughts about this continue to come into your mind, send your soul’s love into these thoughts and feelings, and forgive yourself.

Your soul’s love is available to you all the time. Whenever you feel afraid, let your soul come into your heart and radiate its love to that fear. Whenever you feel helpless, vulnerable, or trapped, bring your soul into your heart and let its warm rays dissolve those feelings and help you find answers.

Your soul is always sending you its soothing rays of reassurance, telling you that everything will be all right, that the universe is your friend, and that there is always an answer to any problem you have.

If you are feeling sorry for yourself, let your soul heal your feelings of self-pity so you can know the strength that is within you to create a life that brings you joy. Let your soul’s compassion for others flow into your heart, recognizing the suffering of all human beings. As you experience an ever-increasing compassion and love for all life, you will find it harder to feel sorry for yourself. You will experience instead your soul’s love for all life and its focus on loving others.

If you feel unloved or unappreciated, feel the love and appreciation your SOUL has for you. Feel your soul’s love come to you through the images it will send you of all the good things you have done, all the people who DO love you, and all the things that ARE working in your life. As you acknowledge all that is good and right about you and your life, you are experiencing your soul’s love for you, for your soul lives in a state of gratitude and appreciation.

Layers of fear and feelings of separateness can be released as you open your heart to your soul’s love. Your heart center can become like a sun, radiantly transmitting the energies of love, compassion, forgiveness, healing, acceptance, and love to others, to you, your subpersonalities, and to the cells in your body.

As your soul enters into and stimulates your heart center, there will be a corresponding shift in the way you feel, think, and view your life. When your soul touches your heart, your focus of attention changes. You become more aware of love in all its forms. You choose those actions, words, and activities that are joyful and loving to you and to others.

Old criteria, such as what brings you the most money, makes you feel secure, or gives you more power will fall away. What becomes more important to you is finding work that you love, following your heart, and trusting in the abundance and goodness of the universe.

With an open heart, you will perceive people differently. You will find their soul, and be more aware of their potential. You will see the goodness within them, even if it is hidden by their personality behaviors. You may become aware of their level of spiritual development by how open their hearts are; from this information you will know how to relate to them.

You won’t be offended or hurt if they are unable to be as open or as loving as you are, for you will know that they are giving as much love as they are capable of at this level of their development. You will recognize that when people act closed or fearful, when they reject, push away, or act needy, they simply haven’t yet brought enough of their soul’s love into their hearts.

Rather than close down your heart at those times, you will know to bring your soul into your heart, experiencing the other person with your heart wide open. You will feel the powerful love and compassion of your soul. As you keep your heart open, you offer the other person a higher way, the way of love. It does not matter to your soul if they take this way; it only cares that you are able to offer it.
Sun, April 30, 2006 - 2:24 PM

3 Steps for asking for:
Soulmates & Life Callings

(woman, child, man = family balance)

1. say "no" to what isn't working
In order to create a space for what we want to come to be, we must create a void to be filled. Saying "No!" is the key in creating that void, because we stop accepting less than what is not in harmony with what's in our heart. When we are done with accepting less, we've usually been through some hard experiences that lead us to say "ENOUGH ALREADY!"

That means we are truly ready to do the work
that needs to be done to grow.
In order to draw an upgrade into our lives,
we need to upgrade our own energy, first.

2. do deep inner work & visualize it all clearly... details... details...

What comes to us is a reflection of where we're at,
on a soul growth level.

Whatever's coming up for us, are lessons we have chosen to learn, as we continually cleanse ourselves
through whatever "re-programming process" that works for us...

Once we ’re able to see that this fear is no longer what we want to choose.

This is the healing process of seeing negative motivational forces...

As we see our fears for what they are, & in seeing it...
it is the very path to freedom from its many faces.

"Getting Free" is understanding this with our hearts,
allowing it to become a new positive motivational force...
Choices in the name of love, instead of "reactions in the name of fear" creates healing on all levels.

Then, the upgrade just naturally comes. This is a spiritual law, & why we are here at this time working it all out. If we continually evolve our consciousness toward love
& let go of fear, the upgrade has a way to come.

Remember if it gets confusing, use the "appreciation loop hole" method of being grateful to everything in our lives as an opportunity to grow.

Both the "seemingly good" & the "seemingly bad"
lead you to this moment right now in your life...
a moment when you can now choose to face it head on...
& not avoid it any longer.

Getting through all this stuff, is so we can wake up and enjoy our stay here on this earthschool experiences we chose to take. It may also help to visualize an empowered inspiration
that for you, is a symbol of this inner growth.

Here's a stream of consciousness writing process
that allows us to consciously trade love for fear.

1 State the problem. Take as long as you need to explain it all to yourself. Keep asking this question to get started,
"What's making me feel afraid?"

2. Analyze the assumptions.
a) go back & read it over, underlining the assumptions.
b) take each "assumption phrase"
c) write what you mean by that assumption.

3. Re-frame the conclusions.
a) take the statement of what you meant,
b) re-write the summary of the original fear (step 1)
into a statement of faith.

Faith in understanding that we have brought this fear up at this time, into our life to experience choosing
faith over fear... so we can let go of this now, at our deepest level of soul growth intentions.

If the change you seek doesn't come right away,
then there's more preparations to do still.
Transition Time... understanding it... is a path of blessings
& getting in flow with "*universal spirit".
(&/or* _________ Please fill in the blank for your Spirit/Creator/God of choice.)

As we know... how to use transition time wisely
& opportunity comes... When we're really ready for them!

Luck is opportunity meeting preparation.

Keep doing the deep work and trusting in *"universal spirit's"
timing, a universal mind eye sees the universe and knows the whole picture, it's often later when we realize how the love, or job, came at just the right time... and although we thought sooner might of been better, perhaps what ever it was as we wanted, wasn't ready for us.

The subconscious & unconscious mind are very powerful
and need to be in alignment with the goal as well.
Keep upgrading all past programming by becoming conscious of
the unconscious patterns which then makes us more subconsciously aware.

And as we observe with an understanding loving eye of a parent. we come to see the ways to go

In other words...
we begin living in dreamtime, all the time.
Choosing the best way to respond, when things don't go as planned... with productive responses instead of making it worse. That's it.

If we do this then, the first thing to do is to
stop. And then observe. Anything that makes a difficult situation "better", is the path.

Anything that takes you away from making the most of whatever happens, is counter productive. BE constructive & solution oriented... this is your dream unfolding.

What "things getting better" really is all about,
is simply, stop making it worse.

This is the key focus & so much easier said than done.
Giving time to the process... allows our awareness to gradually get us... to respond differently. Being kind and loving ourselves where we are right now.

The beginning is the best place to know where we are,
when we're there. Dissatisfaction has a purpose & the knowing you're at the beginning, creates an open headspace.
Bless our dissatisfaction... it has purpose to lead us onward.
Most importantly, it needs to be in alignment with our
soul's purpose.

If your not sure if it is, or what your soul's purpose is...
then, that's one of the reasons it hasn't come to be yet.
Only by seeing who you truly are... do we understand our soul's purpose.

Its best not to be too specific, so it will fit with lots of occupations & lifestyles that life puts us through.
Meditation &/or prayer is a good way to come to understand
one's soul purpose.

With enough love & patience we eventually go
for what is good for us, instead of what we're used to doing, that may not have been.

How to know if what you think is better... is actually better?
Get comfortable, breath deep Spiral into center & then speak...

Through understanding the way our lives reflect a continual
**transparenting of our souls that is revealing our vision & whispering our callings!

**Through seeing ourselves in the center of an unlimited
sphere of a-bun-dance of love, light, & deep joy.
And therefore, balancing the inner family
Mother - Father - Child

we can do that for others we meet along the way.
We are all parenting ourselves now through one another
can we do it consciously & lovingly now & create peace on earth?

Experiences of us being guided to this calling,
are found in synchronicities in our daily lives.
These experiences, build a trust for our intuition to connect with *"universal spirit" and that brings us faith...

faith that give us the grace to make the best of what ever happens. Not with a struggle inside, but with a mind & heart at peace... because we have seen things come, so much better... than we would have ever asked for.

3. deposit energy into the happiness bank...
to create interest!

Being happy comes from being happy.

It's like telling a poor person that having money
comes from having money... so, where do you start?

One small step at a time. What is Charisma?
How do we attract the love or job we want?

With enough deposits into the happiness bank... we begin to get interest. The happiness bank is where energy goes,
when we do things that make us happy.

Kindness towards others, a long hot bath with flowers...
a much needed vacation...

a day when we lie in bed & read,
each person must discover what it is for themselves.
Some people have to hurt themselves or
get sick to take care of these needs.

Listen to the inner-Child who wants to have fun & enjoy life.
Sometimes we're so set on a goal we forget to have fun,
when having fun is the only way we're able to accomplish it.

Many people spend years searching for love...
only to find they are attracted to those who never make them happy.

Knowing what truly makes us happy is about
being totally honesty with ourselves.

Then, we begin to be attracted to what will truly make us happy... instead of what we "thought" would make us happy.

Sun, April 30, 2006 - 3:18 PM
Thanks for sharing the distinction between twin flames and soul mates. I have had both experinces - just didn't understand the twin flame thing. Now it makes perfect sense!
Sun, April 30, 2006 - 6:05 PM
i have read ALL the orin books chaz...... they really were important to me

this is really strange because God spoke to me to give all those books to a young spiritual person MEANING young in the journey not age...

this confirms i must let these book pass on and let them be passsed on as well

this was the message....
Sun, April 30, 2006 - 10:25 PM
as it may appear once written-as it hit me-a fly-ball in left field in the head i am struck with this revelation and then out of no where i am struck with the temptation to believe that i can do this! i can have the personal growth i need with this person i lovely...not true! so many of the difficulty is that i have yet so much growth on mine own and will there ever be enough growth? when will i be able to step aboard the ship of everlasting intimacy???
Tue, May 16, 2006 - 1:39 PM
Excellent! Thanks for positing this.