everyday

i wake up

and i go to work

i work full time at relationships

i pour myself into my partners

at the mercy of my love

that holds all my attention

and takes up all my time

spare for brief moments of inner torture

this is my job and i work hard at it

holding people together

giving all of myself away

i'd sacrifice everything for you

i'd burn down all boundaries

push further beyond the limitations



not a day goes by that this doesn't take up all of my focus

my mind is working overtime to compensate for and justify my heart's struggle



this is a full time occupation

being in relationship

my paycheck at the end of everyday is immeasurable

what i get back in return fills me up,

and that should be enough

"Love wounds. There is no love that does not pierce the hands and feet. Love's exquisite happiness is also love's exquisite pain. I do not seek pain but there is pain. I do not seek suffering but there is suffering. It is better not to flinch, not to try and avoid those things in love's direction. It is not easy, this love, but only the impossible is worth the effort."



The truth is that love smashes into your life like an ice floe, and even if your heart is built like the titanic you go down. That's the size of it, the immensity of it. It's not proper, it's not clean, it's not containable."



~Jeanette Winterson

she's got everything she wants

and still i want more

desire said before he left, i hope you get everything you want

it was a curse at the time

and a blessing

contentment dancing on the razor's edge of insatiable



this endless love grows and grows

and eats me up inside like a parasite feeding on itself

Love spells are stupid.

self inflicted. all consuming.

set an intention and release it into the universe.

now its out of your control.

i'm out of control.

take control.

could we spin the clocks back a year.

how did i get here?

walked willfully into it.

could i take it back now?

spin the clocks forward to a time where i am not conflicted

in a universe where Love makes all things possible.



i can imagine it





"I love you, I love you, I love you anyhow

And I dont care if you dont want, me I'm yours right now

You hear me

I put a spell on you

Because you're mine"



and now you're mine. and still i dream.

dream on...

everything everything

starts with an I Love You

soon our full circle summer will come to pass

and another season will come

fall will be here to wrap us together



through all the seasons we weather, I always love you

over time the You takes many different incarnations

changeable yet constant

still the love will always remain. unconditional

all i ever desire is to help those I love and care for.

the only deeply fulfilling thing possible to soothe this insatiable monster

to give. nurture and support.

I help you when I cannot help myself

you let me love you so deeply

until there is no you or i.

that I can learn to love myself again

everything everything

ends in an I Love You.









"I believe love is immortal.

I don't know, perhaps because...love creates something that. was not there before.

What? Like procreation?

Yeah, but not only.

What? Like recreation!

What is that? Stop, you come in here crying and you wanna recreate with me!

Maybe just...

creation."

~Hedwig and the Angry Inch