My Blog

Desires that you can only tame to know

cnote6920032003 — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 16:38:59 GMT

"Zipless sex" one cynic called this festival of fornication, this celebration of new-found sexual strength and urbane honesty, of sex for sex as sex alone and not a public test of latent puberty. These damsels riding hands and heels pursue their prey with crop and spur for prizes that are neurons firing salvoes in their bellies, not weary, vintage clichés or semen spurts that stain their pubic hair. Theirs’ is a mindless drive to join the trigger of the spasms stirring powerful surges in their loins, of reaching an orgasm. A drama in a field I saw before while walking near the horses. A filly frisked and nipped the stallion sore until his thick, black rod arose all of a metre long, and he mounted her and rudely thrust it in with heaves that drove her flanks apart. His nostrils bulged and flared in the frenzy of his ride until she twitched, disgorged his shaft and cantered off aside. He followed, softened cock a sway, flopping side to side, a comic sight, unfinished in his business, intimidated by her flight. She lead him far and teased him every turn, standing quiet to take his shaft a moment, half a thrust, a touch, and fleeing as of whim. She milked him dry and raw, his rod withdrawn, her cleft engorged and glistening while I watched enthralled. Her wanton wiles and artist's touch had stirred me deep, it was a game she played so well I only wish her season never ended. There is faint motive in your hunt of sexual game, of craving for extension, of seeking out exotic fruit emboldened by invention. Life's cup spills diversions in a bounty that confuses, you savour without style, relentless urges palter, you are afraid it seems to counter this inanity in case it proves a dream. A weakness of your yielding flesh, the treachery where wit cannot compel it quiet, clouds the nature of reality, and drives this single-minded search where each new conquest proves you right and fuels desire that swells until it hurts. You are the matriarch, aloof and desolate, a valkyrie to consummate the chosen sons, anoint their swords in sacrifice and dub them heroes of the night. They rub and plunge without their eyes for miracles you promise in the valley of your thighs. Yet this vision of a vamp arcane confounds urbanity, invites derision from its very source. You seem distraught, elusive passion cedes your nerveless grip and you wield your body in erotic seas as a rudderless, sensuous ship. We are the watchers stirred to witness sex, thrilled with sympathetic energy which quickens in our breath; but other forces guide your bodily design and moisten nether lips in unctuous flow without correction. Your cerebrum in muzzled with sensations, you are coming with your mind aglow in riot of desires you can only tame to know; and in the mellow ebb of truth you find that passion's flight has left you, too, behind.

Sex and coffee- The Beginning

cnote6920032003 — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 17:45:41 GMT

She stood at the sliding door, looking at her own reflection in the glass. The sway of her hips was too rounded for her liking, the heaviness of her breasts too much. She lifted the mug and the whiff of coffee mixed with just a little bit of chocolate hit her nostrils like a wave crashing on the beach. This was her new home, her own little haven. She moved from the door and left the curtains undisturbed and open. Her naked form was clearly etched in the soft light of her lamp. She put the coffee on the table and bent over to pick up another piece of clothing. It was too hot this late in December for her to even contemplate putting on pajamas. She loved walking around in the nude. The door chime rang in the comfortable silence. She sighed and walked to her living space to open the door. She was not in the mood to be disturbed. “Yes?” she asked the man standing on her doorstep as she opened the door widely. He gulped, then averted his eyes and said, “I am your neighbor. I just wanted to let you know your curtain is open and I can see you walking around… naked.” “I know.” He looked up at her answer, drank in the caramel skin wrapped around luscious curves. He felt his penis rise to the occasion. At first he was embarrassed when he saw her fluster at the bulge in his pants, then suddenly he got mad. What type of woman answers her door naked? He sure as hell was not going to be embarrassed about his normal reaction! He jutted his hips forward making his bulge more prominent. “Can we come in then, seeing as this is such a blatant invitation?” he asked her mockingly. Two can play this game, his eyes taunted her. “I would love to entertain you and your big friend, but I have a lot to do and Vagina does not want to come out and play today,” she said coyly as she shut the door in his face. Edgar laughed as he walked around her house and jumped over the fence into his own backyard. His Rottweiler ambushed him from behind and pushed him to the ground as she jumped on him. She licked him in the face as he turned around. “At least I know what your motives are,” and he kissed his mutt while pushing her from him. He could not understand why the hell he always had to have female neighbors. If the Lord could just send a graying couple to stay next to him, he would be much obliged. Not caramel colored females with buxom bosoms and shapely thighs who loved to walk in the nude with open curtains. Yes, especially not ones with curly chestnut-colored hair, and the face of a sweet angelic baby. “Down boy! I need a cold shower.” He almost tore the shirt off his back and threw it and his pants on the ground as he stepped under the icy cold water. Yes, this was going to be the way he will be spending most of his time from now on if he does not find a lover soon, or make her his new toy. He stepped out of the bathroom still naked with droplets of water cascading down his body. As he stepped into his bedroom he saw her standing in front of the sliding door, still naked. They just stared at each other. She let her hands, which was resting on her hips, glide to her breasts and cupped them. He felt the sudden rush of blood pool at his penis as it jutted forward again. He grabbed it out of desperation and started yanking. He expected her to be disgusted, but she smiled and put her right hand between her legs. He could see the hand moving in and out from between her legs, and then she lifted her hands and licked every single finger. He went rock hard instantly. Suddenly she moved away and then returned a minute later. She pushed a chair in front of the sliding door. She sat on this chair with her legs spread open and feet pressed against the door. He could make out the beginnings of her vagina. He ran from his room, left his kitchen door wide open and jumped over the fence and positioned himself right in front of her, the door the only partition between them. Her eyes widened for a second and then she just looked at him as she started playing with her vagina. He could see it was moist and glistening and he started yanking harder on his penis. Their hands moved in unison, each one’s eyes focused on the other’s movements. He loved the way she gyrated her hips, he was sure her pussy would fit tightly around his dick, squeezing cum from him. They both started to move faster and he saw her body convulse just as he shot hot, white cum against her door. “Freeze you pervert!” an authoritative voice screamed behind him. “I told you there is a Peeping Tom in my new neighbor’s backyard,” he heard old Miss Wilson’s voice behind. He probably should have shagged the old bitch, and then she probably wouldn’t have called the cops on him now!

another love story

cnote6920032003 — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 17:44:03 GMT

Chapter 1. I decided I needed a new start. After packing a few things into an old sports bag, I found myself in a small pub in the backstreets of London. The landlady was a tall, elegant woman with long blonde that flowed like a golden waterfall over her shoulders and down her cleavage, clearly visible under the white V-neck blouses she was wearing. She was probably in her mid-fifties, but seemed to have a younger air about her. She served me a cool beer as eighties music filled the air from the old jukebox in the corner.'Hard day?' she asked.'Yeah' I replied 'been searching for a place to stay'.'Well, if you need a bed, I think I might be able to help you'.I looked at her with a frown.She smiled at me. 'I have an empty bed-sit upstairs you can rent if you're interested, plus I need a new barman'.'Ok' I said.She smiled again. 'When you've finished your drink, I’ll show you the room. By the way, my name is Victoria. Mel, can you watch the bar for a while?'The slim, blonde barmaid nodded ad gave her a wink.'I'm Pete' I said, grabbing my bag and following her through the bar area. We went through a door marked 'private' and up a few flights of stairs.'My flat is just above the pub' she told me 'the spare bed-sit is on the top floor, next door to Sarah. I'm sure you'll get on great together!'The bed-sit wasn't very big, but it had everything I could need. There was a small kitchen area with a breakfast bar and a bathroom with a shower cubicle big enough to fit two people in comfortably. The main living area had a black sofa bed, a black reclining armchair and a thick soft rug in the centre of the floor.'Very nice' I said.'I'm glad you like it' said Victoria. 'If you come back downstairs to my place, we can sort out the paperwork'.We walked back down two flights of stairs and into Victoria's flat. It looked like the one upstairs, but twice as big. The main difference was it had a living room and a bedroom.Victoria dug around on a desk in one corner of the living room and found a contract for the bed-sit. I read through it, finding nothing odd, and then signed it at the bottom.'There you go' I said, handing it back to her. 'Signed, sealed and delivered''SWALK' she said.'What? Oh, yeah - sealed with a loving kiss''Hmmm, yes, but I think we can do better than a kiss!' She said, beginning to undo my belt and pulling me towards the bedroom.Once through the doorway, she let go of me and lay down on the king size bed, pulling her skirt up to her hips.I glanced around the room. On the dressing table, an assortment of about a dozen dildos of various shapes and sizes sat in front of a huge mirror in which you could see yourself from the bed.'I'd go mad if I didn't have at least one orgasm a day.' smiled Victoria. Looking back to the bed, I saw that she had three fingers in her pussy, which was already dribbling with her juices.I dropped my trousers and knelt between her legs. She took hold of my swelling cock and stroked it before guiding it toward her pussy. I slid easily into her, burying my cock root deep into her flesh. She gasped, and then moaned deeply as I filled her hole, squirming beneath my hips.'Oh, yes!' she said, moving a hand back down between her legs. She started flicking her clit with a finger, then felt under her pillow for a tiny vibrator which she pressed against her clit. I could feel the vibrations as I Pulled my cock out of her, and then sank back into her with a hard thrust. She might have been in her fifties, but she still had a fairly tight pussy and it felt like she'd been keeping up with the pelvic floor muscle exercises.My cock throbbed inside her as I increased my rhythm, getting faster and faster, feeling the tingling from the vibrator through my shaft. Pretty soon I could hold back no longer and pushed hard into her as I felt my cock explode and her pussy tightened as I shot my cum deep into her. We got cleaned up and smiled at each other.'I might just have to change your contract to include one of those a week!' she smiled. 'Let's go back down to the bar and I'll show you around'.I worked the afternoon in the bar, and then Victoria gave me couple of days free to get my stuff sorted in the bed-sit. I had just got to the top of the stairs with my bike when the door next to mine opened and a girl in a white bathrobe looked out.'You must be Pete.' she said. 'I'm Sarah. Could you spare a moment to do me a favour?''Sure' I said, and I followed her into her bed-sit.Her place was furnished just like mine, only it looked lived in. On the coffee table in front of her sofa bed stood a glass and a bottle of wine, with most of the contents missing. Next to the bottle was a pair of those battery operated tweezers you use to remove unwanted eyebrow hairs. She passed the tweezers to me and sat down, taking a large mouthful of wine.'I can't finish the job myself' she said, opening the bathrobe and showing me her body. She was medium build, with curly brown shoulder length hair.As she leant back on the sofa, she opened her legs wide. It looked like she'd been using the tweezers but not finished the job.I smiled and sat on the end of the sofa. Sarah swung her legs round and I got to work pulling her pubes out.'So why do you want a bald pussy?' I asked.'So it's more attractive to lick' she replied, taking another mouthful of wine. 'Would you like to try it out when you've done?''Why not?' I said as I pulled a few more hairs from around her clit. Pretty soon I was finished and leant back to admire my handiwork. She was obviously turned on by what I'd been doing, as a trickle of her juices had run out of her pussy and down towards her ass. I bent down and licked from her ass cheeks, along her perineum to the bottom of her labia, and then I moved my tongue up one side, quickly across her clit and down the other side. Then I dipped the tip of my tongue into her wet pussy before coming to rest on her clit, which I sucked at gently.Sarah gasped and gritted her teeth as her hips trembled and shook uncontrollably in the throes of an intense orgasm.'Oh, wow!' she gasped. I lifted my head and saw she was covered in sweat, her skin glistening in the light.'I need a shower' she said. 'Could you wash my back?''Ok' I said and she guided me by the hand towards the bathroom.Stripping off, I slipped into the shower behind her, my hard cock pressing against the small of her back.We rubbed shower gel all over each other, before she sank to her knees to wash my cock and balls properly.I felt great to have her hands around my shaft, and her lips felt so soft as she took me into her mouth and began sucking on my glans, her tongue sweeping over and around my cock. I could have stood there for hours with her head bobbing up and down on my manhood, but before long my muscles tightened and my cock began to twitch as I pumped my hot cum into her mouth. She eagerly swallowed the whole of my load, then waited for every drop, licking each one off the end of my cock.'We must get together again sometime' she said as we dried each other. 'I'm having a party on Saturday night. Would you like to come round?''Ok. I'll be there.' I said, giving her a kiss as I left. The next day, Friday, I was in the local store when I noticed two girls who seemed to be watching me. They were both fairly large build in their early twenties, each wearing jeans of varying shades of blue and low cut tops which displayed quite a bit of breast. The tallest had brown hair and was wearing glasses, but the other was blonde with a very cute face.Thinking they might be trying to pinch something, I kept an eye in them as I wandered around the shop. I turned a corner and came face to face with them. 'Hi there' said the blonde. 'I'm Carrie and this is Mandy'.'Hello girls' I said 'nice cleavage'Carrie smiled at me. 'Buy us a drink and you might see a bit more of them'.'I've got a better idea' I replied 'why don't you two girls come back to my place? I've got a couple of bottles of wine in the fridge''Sounds good!' said Carrie.We left the shop together and began walking back towards the pub. The girls, who were walking on either side of me, put their arms around my waist and in turn I reached around each of them and grabbed hold of their asses through the denim of their jeans.'Mmmm' said Mandy, ’that feels nice!''How about this?' I asked, sliding my hands up, over the top and then down under their jeans. I noticed that each of them was wearing a G-string as I caressed their flesh with my hands.They both giggled as Carrie asked me if I could handle two girls at once.'I've never had the opportunity, but it would be very unfair to fuck one of you and not the other!'We were still laughing at that as I unlocked the bed-sit's door and led them inside.'This is nice' remarked Mandy, sitting in the chair in the corner of the room while Carrie sat on the sofa. I poured us each a glass of the wine Victoria had left in the fridge as a house warming present. The girls drank their glasses a lot quicker than I did and fairly soon we had finished the bottle.'Fancy a game of spin the bottle?' Carrie asked.Mandy and I agreed and we gathered around the coffee table. Carrie went first, and the bottle pointed at Mandy.'Truth or dare?' 'Truth' said Carrie.'Is it true that you've never seen an erect cock?' she asked.'Yes' said Mandy quietly.Mandy spun the bottle and it stopped on Carrie. She chose a dare.'Take off your top!' Mandy ordered.Carrie did, revealing a white bra which was barely holding her tits at bay.It went on like this until Carrie was naked, the big nipples on her huge breasts standing erect as I watched them, smiling. The girls asked me to get the other bottle from the fridge and started giggling as soon as I stepped into the kitchen. I returned to find Carrie on her back on the sofa with her knees pulled up to her chest. She was holding her pussy's lips open with her fingers and Mandy was dripping wine into her pussy from her glass. I uncorked the second bottle and poured a bit if that in until her hole was completely full and the wine trickled down her ass onto the sofa.I bent down and licked deeply, tasting her juices mixed with the wine. I couldn't lick deeply enough, so I jumped up, ran to the kitchen and returned with two straws, which I slipped into her hole. Putting the straws to my mouth, I sucked deeply, watching Mandy who was kneeling next to the sofa, furiously rubbing her clit with a finger.I grabbed the bottle and filled Carrie's pussy again, offering a straw to Mandy. Tentatively, she put it to her lips and took a sip, then a mouthful of wine from her friend's love nest.'Get your cock in there now.' said Carrie. Pulling the straws out, I removed my boxer shorts and knelt against her ass, resting the shaft of my cock against her labia, feeling the heat from her body.'Don't tease me, put it in!''Here, I'll help' said Mandy, slipping her fingers around my cock. Gently she eased me into Carrie, her eyes transfixed on my entry. She kept her head close as I fucked Carrie, watching me slide in and out of Carrie's slippery wet cunt.Without warning, she bent lower, putting her lips against my shaft on my back stroke, licking Carrie's juices off me. I reached over and stroked her ass, then let my fingers slide down between her ass cheeks, over her anus on their way to her pussy, still wet from when she played with her clit earlier. I slid one, two and then three fingers into her wet slit, making her moan deeply.Just then I felt Carrie's pussy get tighter and I guessed she was getting close to climax, so I pushed deeper with each stroke and felt her muscles grip my cock as her body shook and she gasped loudly.'Your turn Mandy' Carrie gasped.'I don't know' said Mandy nervously,'I've never...''You'll like it' Carrie assured her. 'It feels fantastic!''Ok, I'll try it'We all changed places and I laid down on my back on the sofa. Mandy slowly mounted me, kneeling over my twitching cock, the tip just millimetres from her swollen labia. Gritting her teeth, she slowly lowered herself down, impaling herself on my cock which slipped easily into her wet hole. When she had sunk as low as she could, with my rod completely buried inside her, she lent forwards, bringing her tits closer to my face. Eagerly I sucked and licked her nipples until they stood erect. 'Try rocking backwards and forwards' suggested Carrie, who was sitting on the rug watching us. Mandy tried this and smiled at the sensations it produced in her loins.'Oh yes' I moaned, feeling a pressure building in my groin. The feeling grew until I could not hold back and came, pushing my cock deeper into her and pumping my seed deep.'Oh wow!' she said leaning forwards again. I buried my face in her breasts and my cock twitched, trying to push the last drops of cum into her.'Don't move yet' I said as she made a move to dismount.As my cock went limp inside her, she told me that she enjoyed her first filling of cock, and the girls promised to visit me again the next time they came to London.I reached down and played with Mandy's clit which made her squirm on my soft dick, almost dislodging it from its warm and wet hiding place.Carrie came over to us and stroked my balls under Mandy's ass, and offered me her nipples to lick, which gave me the urge again and slowly my cock began to fill with blood once more, filling Mandy's pussy again.This time, we didn't take it easy, pushing our groins together as we built up the energy, trying to get her to orgasm. When she did come, it was dramatic. Her whole body shook, my cock was gripped vice-like inside her, then she fell onto my chest and I held her until she had caught her breath.She slid off the sofa and swapped places with Carrie in the chair, sitting so she could still see me. Carrie knelt on the floor and lowered her lips to my cock, still wet with Mandy's juices and drips of my cum which had dripped from Mandy's pussy as she climbed off me.Taking my cock deep into her mouth, she sucked hard, and then licked around the glans. Gripping my shaft tightly with one hand, she began to stoke my foreskin up and down, while her other hand sank down between her legs.With her tongue flicking the top of my penis, it didn't take long for my cum to rise again, and she pointed it at her face at the last moment, getting my cum in her open mouth, over her nose and a couple of drops hit her forehead. Mandy had recovered by then, and she joined us to lick my cum off Carrie's face. They finished with a long, passionate kiss. We spent the night on the sofa bed, occasionally waking to kiss, fondled or fuck each other again. The girls left early in the morning, saying they were going home to use their dildos on each other and said they'd be back the following weekend. I couldn't wait. The end (for now!)

End of An Affair

cnote6920032003 — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 17:41:36 GMT

It had been so long since I'd seen her. She was almost exactly the same. Long blonde hair, well muscled, adorable pout, feminine/earthy scent. Something about her was different though, something I couldn't quite figure out. We met at my favorite coffee shop in the old part of town. She sat facing the door talking to a perfect stranger about a book while waiting for her tea to cool. I had almost expected that. She wore light blue jeans that clung seductively to her hips and ass. A tight, black spaghetti strap tank-top and a matching black army hat. As the stranger left I sat across from her and took in the wonderful coffee smell. I looked at her book while she explained it, tried to keep the conversation light. We both had different ideas about how the night was going to go. Neither of us expected me to go home till the morning, but she was expecting more than I was planning on giving. As we walked to my car she jumped on my back and quoted some television show or comedian. When we arrived at my car I sat her down on the hood and leaned back into her warmth. She nuzzled my neck, her blonde hair falling over my shoulder. Her teeth grazed my ear and I pulled away. I knew from that moment that my idea of the night was a foolish thing to think. Skip a couple hours ahead. There was the mad dash down I-95 and then through the city streets, and the amazing parallel parking skills everyone wishes they had. The tiny apartment kitchen has been cleaned along with numerous moldy glasses from the bedroom. The cat has been fed and given her shot. Her roommate is getting ready to go to sleep and I’m sitting on her twin bed looking up porn sites. She does the standard, ‘I’m disgusted but can’t look away’ action and wrestles me to close the window. It’s just like when we were younger only when we pause with our faces inches apart there is a different kind of tension. I bite at the air between us and roll away. I’m hoping to get past that and salvage my plan for the night, cuddles only. Sensing my plan she pushes me onto my back and gets a well placed knee between my legs. My eyes flutter and I get out only part of a word. “Fuh…” Skip another hour ahead. She’s under me, her eyes locked on mine, her lips parted practically panting. Her hands grasped my hips and dragged nails down my back. Her hips rocked against my hand. She moaned loud just the way I always liked it. I graze her lips with mine. We share the air for a moment, our eyes locking and breaths mingling. She tips her head forward and tries to catch my lips but I pull away. I tease her like that until I feel her body tense under mine. She finally catches my lips. Skip eight hours ahead. I’m in the front yard of your house making small talk with your dad. I had left her apartment and rushed over. It had been less than a month since the break up and we had plans. You weren’t there though. I had felt bad about spending the night with her. You didn’t warn me though so the bad feeling went away.

Blowjobs, Beheadings, and Black holes

cnote6920032003 — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 17:35:33 GMT

I asked my friend a rhetorical question the other day. “If your friend Cori unexpectedly dropped by our apartment, let’s say to pick up a skirt or something that you had borrowed, and you weren’t home, and the door was unlocked and Cori just let herself in, and I was home, sitting on the couch watching television, which would you be more mortified about me watching: that creepy Faces of Death DVD, or porn?” Without a beat, she answered: “Porn.” If you’re unfamiliar with Faces of Death, it was a slightly “underground” tape that made a bit of news in the mid-90’s because it showed real-life, graphic images of, well, death. I’m sure you’re familiar with porn. I actually don’t sit around watching either, but I think this exchange explains a lot. My girl’s not a prude by any means; Cori, in her unexpected entrance, would have felt more comfortable if I was snacking on popcorn and watching people actually dying than if I was sitting there, with my feet up, watching people do probably what she’s planning on doing this evening, the borrowed skirt we mentioned earlier in a ball at the foot of her bed. The discussion continued with Vincent Gallo’s film The Brown Bunny. If you remember, this movie made a lot of headlines when Roger Ebert called it “Possibly the worst film ever shown at the Cannes Film Festival”, mainly because the, um, climax of the film is the five minutes of fellatio that Chloe Sveigny performs on the actor-director. A real blowjob in a “real” movie? Was Vincent Gallo out of his mind? We live in strange times where disturbing violence is accepted and celebrated, but sex still makes us veryuncomfortable. I have a penis, in case you were wondering. I see it everyday, usually many times. I wash it in the shower and sometimes go through the haphazard act of grooming my pubic hair. I’m pretty comfortable with the sight of it, it’s been with me for as long as I can remember. In “real” cinema, I think I’ve only been able to size myself up to Harvey Keitel in The Piano (he’s got nothing on me, by the way). I saw my first vagina up-close and in-person when I was about fifteen or sixteen, I suppose, and I’ve been seeing them in their various states fairly regularly since then. I caught a glimpse of Sharon Stone’s snatch once (just the hair), and Julianne Moore’s always good for flaunting her fire-red bush. But that’s about it. I got my first blowjob at about the same time, reciprocated, and had sexual intercourse not long after that. Both activities I’ve engaged in, again, fairly regularly for the last ten or so years. I don’t think I am odd and I imagine that the rest of the general populace can say the same. So, we’ve all gone down on each other and engaged in all manners of sex. Maybe you’re in that special group that has taken it in the ass. Least of all, we’ve all seen some real live nudity. Now, who has nearly vaporized a man’s arm with a close-range shotgun shot, then proceeded to pump six clips of ammunition into his chest before finally putting him out of his misery with a well-placed bullet to the head? I saw a graphic depiction of that exact scene in Robocop when I was about twelve years old. Perhaps I was a bit young, so let’s say I waited until the MPAA said I should have, and saw Robocop when I was seventeen years old. What experiences in high school would prepare me for torture and murder? Our discussion continued on about the recent gubernatorial race in California. Could you imagine if Jenna Jameson had run? It would be a laughable race, at best. A porn star attempting to control the 5th richest economic area of the world? Ha. Jenna Jameson has made a career of the following things (all of them well-documented): -Appearing in the nude -Masturbating -Performing oral sex on men -Performing oral sex on women -Having oral sex performed on her by men and women -Engaging in sexual intercourse with men or women Okay, so maybe fucking on camera is not for everybody, but let’s not forget one thing. We’ve all done most of the things that she’s portraying in her movies. Most of all, let’s not forget: going down on somebody is a really nice thing to do! It is! Ask anybody who has just been blown or voraciously eaten out. There’s really no harm in it. It’s very nice. I myself would rank it somewhere just above a new Coen Brothers film and just below winning a sizeable sum in the state lottery. Now: Arnold Schwarzenegger is the Governor of California. Just say that to yourself about ten times in a row, get past the actual language and let it sink in. Schwarzenegger is controlling the 5th richest economic area of the world. I’m not saying he’s even doing a half-bad job. However, Schwarzenegger (man that’s a bitch to type) has made a career of the following: -Impaling a man on a steam pipe, various shootings, explosions, and decapitations (Commando) -Killing police officers, stalking and murdering housewives, eviscerating Bill Paxton (The Terminator) -Using innocent bystanders as a human shield during a gunfight, ripping a man’s arms off, beating women, breaking limbs, subjecting his enemies to the convulsive nerve-gas-like effects of Mars’ atmosphere (Total Recall) -Burning people alive, clotheslining people with barbed wire, electrocuting people to death, throwing Richard Dawson into a tunnel (The Running Man) -Hanging out with Danny DeVito (Junior, Twins) I, personally, have never impaled anyone, ripped anyone’s arms off, or hung out with Danny DeVito (though I did see him in SoHo once, and he’s shorter than you think.) I understand that this is all entertainment- what I don’t understand is the uproar over the graphic portrayal of things we do in everyday life, and the general complacency over the images of twisted, sadistic violence. These things we consider entertainment are more akin to a day hanging out with Slobodan Milosevic or a Rwandan soldier. An average day for me, after a long day of work and a bottle of wine, is much more like Jenna Jameson’s. I think we’re forgetting the severity of what it means to lose your life while we’re also forgetting how silly we all look naked and how trivial sex actually is. Maybe pornography shows empty pursuits of sex. The performers are vain, with comic book-like anatomy engaging in acts shallowly and without conscience. Certainly no role models for anyone. However, didn’t Academy-Award nominated Pulp Fiction show these same types of people? Except, they were blowing each other’s heads off instead of, well, I could make a terrible pun there somewhere, but I won’t. I loved Pulp Fiction, just like you; the fact remains that Jenna has taught me some tricks when it comes to licking a lady, while Steven Segal has taught me how to break arms and Jonathan Demme won the Oscar for showing me how to make a quilt out of fat chicks’ back skin. In 1972, NASA was getting ready to launch an unmanned spacecraft to study deep space. Dr. Carl Sagan suggested that they make an indestructible plaque affixed to the craft, something that could show some information about where it came from in the oft chance that an alien life form came across it in the distant future. On the plaque, using an atomic-based symbol-set, they explained where Earth is, our knowledge of pulsars, and the relative cosmic date of the probe’s launch. Sagan’s wife, an artist, also designed an etching of a nude male and female so They could understand what our species looks like. The public outcry was swift; it was declared these nude figures were “smut” and the American People had no reason to send pornography into the cosmos. The public demanded the plaque be changed into something more “wholesome”. (Another group also demanded the plaque be removed entirely, because if we alerted aliens to our location in the universe, they would surely come to invade us- but that’s another story.) Luckily, Sagan persevered with the rest of the intelligentsia, and the plaque remained in its original form on its voyage to the stars. This is the bizarre crossroads we rest in. Fearlessly, we set out to explore the heavens, to learn all there is to know, to understand the nature of the universe and the mysteries of our existence itself; yet deep down, we are all still scared of our wee-wees. Even with recent relaxed attitudes towards sex, we still prefer guns, bombs, and bullets. Perhaps deep in our genetic makeup, it’s easier to hurt than to love. Cori still hasn’t shown up to pick up her skirt, but in the interest of my experiment, I will sit and watch television on my couch, alternating between Faces Of Death, The Best Of Jenna Jameson, and Carl Sagan’s Cosmos. If Cori and the rest of my fellow citizenry were really on the ball, special relativity, quantum mechanics, and string-theory should freak her out more than anything I could have been watching. When it comes to holes, per se, I think collapsed neutron stars should be a bit more titillating than a vagina, don’t you?

FAIR MAIDEN

cnote6920032003 — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 17:29:36 GMT

Fair Maiden Thy face doth compare to a night full of brightly lit stars A sheer delight to behold and beauteous beyond compare Thy face doth compare with a myriad of stars A galaxy of wonders beyond my understanding Fair Mistress, your beauty doth pale the mornings dawning Your radiance doth outshine the Northern star Your eyes do portray such beauty as would cause angels to weep as they are not as fair as thee Yet under the sundered heavens the fallen angels cry For jealousy has soiled their wings Cast down the unworthy guardians of beauty and behold Fair Mistress your beauty and desires Your lips do curve and beg to be kissed My lips unworthy nevertheless desire your kiss upon them Your breasts do hold such passion upon which I would cast my unworthy desires Your beauty is as fair Helen upon the walls of Troy My body I would cast one thousand times upon the walls to look upon thee A thousand ships would sail to gaze upon your beauty Yet all would fall unworthy before your sight As Achilles fell upon the field, my heart falls at your feet A mortal wound fair mistress, never to heal If only to gaze upon your countenance for one last time You cannot be fair nature creation As beauty bequeathed upon the soil A maiden so fair a God’s creation Bestowed upon unworthy men And yet fair Princess my words are pale The tongue so mute, my heart so yearning Only stuttering stammering shameful sounds Come from my unworthy mouth I pray fair Maiden, my unworthy soul Prostrate before your beauty As saints before the cross I pray for your desires and your beauty As the lowly shepherd did court the nymph I stand before thee unworthy Fair Mistress, in closing your suitor desires your beauty and your love

Sex Versus Love

cnote6920032003 — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 19:21:53 GMT

Love is morbid and stressful Sex is humorous, kinky and easy. Sex is something upbeat Love is plummeting down. Love is larger than life Sex is life itself. Sex is like saving money Love is like spending money. Sex is exchanging energy Love is wasting it. Love is hell on earth Sex is heaven on earth. Love is sleepless nights Sex is sweet dreams. Sex is a torrid interlude Love is cold winds. Love is a narcotic dependence Sex is detoxification. Love is Spartan and redundant Sex is simple and quintessential. Love is commitment and chastity Sex is friendship and reminiscene.

A Guy's Job......It's a quickie...enjoy!

cnote6920032003 — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 19:18:14 GMT

A guy sticks his location, In a girl's destinstion, To increase the population, For the next generation. Do you get my explanation? Or do you need a demonstration?

SEX IS A TRANSACTION

cnote6920032003 — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 19:14:34 GMT

SEX is a TRANSACTION, With emotional currency, You're either lucky or an arsehole, If you're getting it for free, Some are prepared to barter flesh, For company or affection, A house, a car, a family, Money or protection, When morality is attached to Guilt can reduce the pleasure, Whereby with uninhibited Comes ecstasy without measure. There are those whom believe that, SEX is just for procreation, While there are others for whom it is, Their favourite recreation, There are people who only have, SEX over the phone, And others who are happy, To do it on their own, There are some who really get off, On lingerie and leather, And those who simply prefer, To masturbate together.

life

cnote6920032003 — Tue, 27 Jun 2006 20:12:01 GMT

you only live once so live