Better Than Homework.

corgymendelbaum — Fri, 04 Nov 2005 03:19:31 GMT

FOUR JOBS YOU'VE HAD IN YOUR LIFE: 1. Piano teacher. 2. Office bitch. 3. Busser for a yacht club. 4. Writer for events. FOUR PEOPLE YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE LAST: 1. Mommy. 2. Daddy. 3. Becca. 4. Caitlin. FOUR THINGS YOU WANNA DO IN LIFE: 1. Make out with Paul Reubens. (Or maybe even go past third base!) 2. Live on a commune. 3. Be interviewed because of Freedom a la Mode. And lie. 4. Make the best vegan cherry pie in the world. And eat it. 1. What time is it? 12:47 pm. 2. Name: Lauren Hanley 3. Nickname(if any): I have several. The one that I tolerate is: Tater Nuts. 4. If you were a skittle: I don't get this... Then I would be a Skittle. 5. Single or taken?: Single. That mother-fucker. 6. zodiac: Taurus. 7. Hair color: Currently, "fishbowl" and some fluorescent green color. 8. Eye color: Blue. 9. Height: 5'6 or 5'7. I have no idea. 10. Favorite Color: I guess purple and green. And black. How 8th grade is that? 11. Glasses, contacts or neither: Both. 12. Braces?: I actually wore my retainer for a few hours last night. It always makes my teeth feel weird afterwards. And it makes me have a lisp. I like lisps. 13. Piercing/tattoos?: Yes/Yes. 14. Birthplace: Honolulu, Hawaii. 15. Are you a virgin? I shwear, you guysh, I'm not a virgshin. 16. Siblings names: I don't have any. ******HAVE YOU EVER****** 17. Cut your own hair?: Yes. I'm not going to pay sixty dollars for someone else to do something that I would rather do myself. 21. Skipped school?: Yes. 22. Bungee jumped?: No, but I'd love to. 23. Went to a concert?: What a stupid question. Yes. 24. Kissed someone of the same sex not related to you? Yes. 25. Kiss more than two people in one day: Not in a sexual or romantic way. But I've kissed several of my friends... 26. Stared at the stars for hours?: Not for that long. 27. TP'd someone's house?: Yes. 28. Won something?: Yeah, I won this Hello Kitty Christmas basket from Safeway like a year after I entered the contest for it. 29. Asked someone out?: Yes. What kind of a question is this? 30. Been rejected?: NO. EVERYONE LOVES ME. THAT'S WHY I'M SINGLE. 31. Been to a funeral?: Yes. Several. 32. Used a lighter?: Duh. How cool would I be without having used one? 33. Been on stage?: Yes. I played Doctor Dildo. It was in Chelsea. No pun intended. ******FAVORITE***** 35. Food: I'm freegan. So, I'm inclined to say pureed tofu, but that would be a lie. I like me a nice, rare steak and ice cream. 36. Ice cream flavor: Steak flavored. 38. School subject(s): Currently, my favorite class is child development. But I guess I am supposed to say writing, since that's my major. 39. Breakfast cereal: Non-General Mills. 40. Number(s): 8 and 64. 41. Book(s): Look on my profile. 42. Movie(s): See above. 45. State: Kentucky. Obviously. 46. Place: See above. 47. Sport to watch on TV: Mud wrestling with no clothes and no mud. It's on the SPICE channel. 48. Sport to play: Boxing, wrestling, lacrosse. 49. Bands/musicians: See my profile. 50. Letter(s): XXX, not because of porn, but becase of Van Diesel. 51. Fast food restaraunt: It gives me the squirts. 52. Cartoon Character: There are several. Currently, I like Koch's "Aton Chekhov". 53. Holiday: Halloween. And I totally mean it in that cliched, art school way. 54. Name for a son: Wile.E. Danger Abstainance 55. Name for a daughter: Coffee Danger Abstainance ******DO YOU PREFER****** 56. Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate taste. Vanilla smell. 58. Long relationships or one night stands?: Long relationships, I guess. Though I wouldn't mind a few one night stands for the time being. 59. Dogs or cats?: Both. 60. Scary movies or comedies?: Scary movies. 61. Silver or gold?: Silver. 62 Croutons or bacon bits?: Croutons. ******FIRST THINGS THAT COME TO MIND****** 64. Hedgehog: Porcipine. 65. School: Elm. 66. Grass: Cow. 67. Cow: Eat. 68. Canada: Codiene. 69. Mouse: Barbarian. 70. Hands: Tools. ******THE PAST 48 HOURS, HAVE YOU****** 71. Watched a movie? No. 72. Talked on the phone?: Yes. 73. Cried?: Yes. 74. Threw up?: No. 75. Drank a glass of water?: No. 76. Talked to the opposite sex?: Yes. 77. Read a book or magazine?: Yes. 78. Watched TV?: Yes. 79. Looked in the mirror?: Yes. 80. Taken a shower?: No. 81. Taken a picture?: Yes. Of Caitlin. She is pretty. 82. Listened to music?: Yes. 83. Kissed someone?: No. 84. Done your Home Work?: Yes. 85. Told someone you loved them? Yes. Caitlin because she's a good friend. ***DO YOU BELIEVE IN....****** 86. Heaven?: No. 88. Aliens?: Yes. 89. Fun for the entire family?: Depends on the family. 90. Freedom of speech?: I believe we should have it. I don't believe we do. Well, everyone has liberty. But if you say something wrong, then you have to suffer the consequences. So, actually, no. I don't believe everyone in the world can have freedom. One person's freedom is always going to conflict with another's, thus restricting the other's freedom. 91. Love?: Yes. But I don't think it's such a glorious thing. Actually, I don't know. Does it matter? 92. Magic?: I don't know anymore. I used to believe in it, but that was when I tried really, really hard to be eerie. I blame Catholic school. And myself, of course. *******SOME RANDOM STUFF****** 93. Last movie you saw in theatres?: I think it was The Exorcism of Emily Rose. 94. Are you listening to music right now?: No. 95. What clothes are you wearing right now?: My pajamas... Shirt I've been wearing for two days and boxers. 96. Do you like your middle name?: I don't really care one way or another about it. 97. What is the best thing since sliced bread?: Toasted sliced bread. 98. What color is your backpack?: Black and green. 99. Who is Mike Jones?: Who is anyone? 100. Was this a stupid survey? Yes. But I don't want to do my homework, so I completed it. Gold star!

Purgers and Urgers

Better Than Homework.